Silent Night, Meltdown Night (Promo)

Silent night. Holy night. All is calm All is bright Round yonder Our holiday edition movie threat! Yay! And this one I actually bought something.

Normally I'll just be like, This looks terrible. I don't want to own it. Let's just take a picture of it. But this one I saw and we were coming up on the holidays and I was like, well, I might as well get Silent Night Bloody Night. Oh.

Which is different than the movie we may be talking about on the regular episode this week. Does she have a machine gun? I can't tell. Or a rifle of some sort? This is just a pretty ghetto DVD anyway.

I like the grease pencil that somebody wrote some random crap on here. Well, my first thought was that, oh, somebody signed that. And then I was like, no, it's just, Lord knows where that's from. But even the pictures on the back, this was my favorite selling this kind of crap back in the day. Even the pictures on the back are bad quality images.

Like you couldn't even be bothered to scam them by putting a decent image on it, even though the actual movie is going to be garbage. But no, no, even that looks like it's, really bad quality so but i did watch the trailer this doesn't look terrible by the trailer i've heard it's not bad yeah it actually is and that comes from a guy who will watch anything i also was like this probably isn't even christmas related they just stole this title there is a christmas tree in the background of one of the shots i'm like and the voiceover that's throughout it continually as twas the night before christmas and all so they're obviously in the promotion banking on christmas themed i don't know how much christmassy action goes on once you're in there but.

What's our plot summary so according. To this then i have to be able to read it here you. Can just physically according to this silent night bloody night is a frightening and suspenseful film that has good performances. I like when they pat themselves on the back on the box. Does it say butt or that?

That has good. You can't prove it has. Good performances. Not great. Mediocre performances.

Unique scripting. And some truly terrifying scenes. Not all. A lot of other mediocre garbage. But some terrifying scenes.

An escaped lunatic, of course, terrorizes the people of a small New England town, especially those in an old mansion that once housed a mental institution. Bodies and blood everywhere and no help in sight. Do not watch this movie alone, in all counts. That's amazing. 1972.

Wow, so this was. Like 12 years earlier than Silent Night, Bloody Night. Apparently there is a Silent Night, Bloody Night 2. I'm sure. Oh, my.

And there's at least a three because I see a silent night, bloody night. The homecoming. Again. Come on home for Christmas where there will be murder. So normally this is like a real threat.

This one's actually like, hey, if you want us to watch this next holiday, join the Meltdown Horror Club and you can put this on the list. Maybe we don't even have to wait for Christmas. Who knows? It has good performances. Some good.

The fact I have never once read a DVD or VHS summary that said. There's good performances in this. We swear to God. I promise this is a movie. Silent Night, Bloody Night, The Homecoming is a 2013 British slasher film and remake of the 1972 American film Silent Night, Bloody Night.

Wow. Does it have a carotene in it? Carradine. Don't waste my time if there's not some sort of Carradine hanging around like Mr. John right here.

No, but it's got a Dickens if that helps any. This one's Patrick O'Neill and John Carradine and these weird women on the cover. Yeah. Wearing pink outfits for some reason. Matching-ish semi-cord.

Oh, and apparently it's got Mary Warnhoff in it. I thought I saw her for like a second in there. I was like, that looks like. Did you watch the movie? No, I just watched the trailer.

And I was like that, but she's not in it for much. So I was like, that kind of looks like her. Guess who it was produced by, among other people. Harvey Weinstein. Lloyd Kaufman.

Oh, okay. That explains a lot. Hey, say what you will about Lloyd Kaufman. He actually wants to make good movies. He likes making movies.

Yeah. Some good performances. Some unique scripting. Sean Gunn gives a good performance. So what is a unique scripting?

Unique scripting. Do they write it in the snow? I mean. Maybe they do that weird left-handed thing where you have to turn your hand real weird. So you don't smear it.

And I feel like everybody who does that feels like it's very unique. So. Left-handed screenwriter. Oh, this is exciting. They should put that on the bottom.

The film was never registered with the United States Copyright Office and thus fell into the public domain. That's why you can buy crappy copies like this one right here that I paid almost nothing for. I might actually have a copy of that in one of those 50 horror movies box sets. The sad thing is I might already have one. You probably have two or three.

Probably. When we started doing this a million years ago, I bought one that was a $ 50 50 movies in one big-ass box. And then there was another, like, 8 or 12 or something. There were, like, two different ones of those that I got that we've done a couple off of. But there's still a good majority of them we haven't touched.

So we've got our work cut out for us. Every time the die pulls something up that's an older movie, I run straight to those sets. No luck. Is it on here? Is it on here?

All right, back to 2B it is. So if, yeah, if you want us to start working our way through the rest of those weird DVD sets we bought a million years ago, then yeah, join the club and put those weird movies on the list. And in the meantime, you can hear us say amazing things like this. I've got my hot cocoa. We've covered some people and their hot beverage issues.

So I'm getting into the mood. We've got our special Christmas cookies and our hot cocoa and we're ready to roll. And some are more frightening than others. Some of them are just gross. Like, they're just really grotesque.

He doesn't shy away from that. They're really well done. And the best part is... All right. And it's like this kind of Lovecraftian entity who has a task that he has chosen this guy to do.

It exists in its own universe of Christmas music. Uh-huh. Yes. I mean, what Christmas movie have you watched that doesn't play the same 12 songs over and over and over that you've heard? That first song, I was like, I thought I had heard every Christmas song.

That's what I'm saying. Apparently I was wrong. And as the movie kept going, I was like, where did they find all these songs I've never heard? Christmas fever. And then I get to the end of the movie and I read the credits and I find out.

And, yeah, now we're going to have a snowman trying to cut us up with a chainsaw. We could work out a Patreon incentive where if somebody bids enough money, we could hunt a human on this show. I think it's legal if Patreon sponsors it. I mean, I'm not saying we have to kill them. I'm always fascinated with Donnie and Marie.

The entire first half hour of this movie is child abuse. Yeah, yeah. I was like, I hate this movie. The best movie about a killer robot mall Santa that I've ever seen. I worked for one day at FAO Shorts when I was in New York.

And it was horrible. It's like I'm not coming back. You're the smarty pun. Because I did it for you. Yeah, same here.

You worked with the rich people's toys. Oh, yeah. And the parents were horrible. Oh, I can only imagine. And I was like.

But it was fun. I got to go like behind the scenes at FAO Shores. Did you at least get to play on that giant piano? Yes. I was assuming you danced on the piano.

Hell yes, I did. They brought us all over during the training and everybody got to do it. They're like, for Christ's sake, just get it out of your system. And it was awesome. You'll be over here all day if we don't let you.

So just go ahead. So I stayed long enough to do that. And then I was like, nope. All right. So we're all toy people.

Yeah. That is not an enthusiastic performance at all. No. Well, now I kind of want to see it. You say that.

I don't want to see it, too, until I watched it. I don't think you're prepared. Okay. It just kept coming together. And I'm like, I agree it's not totally doing anything different.

I don't say that as a complaint. As it went on, I was like, that's the best part about it. It's finding this very specific thing that we all already love. And then shoving these characters in, and in a different way than you would even expect most of the time. Yeah.

And just execution is perfect on every episode. I'd get to the end of one, I'd be like, damn, that was so solid. Yeah. And it delivered on everything it needed to, and the performances are all great, and everything... And.

That's okay that they put it in here in this movie, but it also shows to me that they can only afford one Santa suit because they have at least three different Santa Clauses? Clauses? Three Santas wearing the same suit. We're not going to buy more than one suit alright? We're going to get blood all over it by the end anyway so we only can afford one.

Touch the door before you open it to see if Christmas is on the other side, kids. Another public service announcement. Because he's only talking to this creature through a glory hole. Because whenever he tries to actually look at him, he gets physically kind of knocked. Out because it's this powerful being or whatever.

So he's communicating with him through this glory hole. Which means that she... is used to him just creepily standing over it. This is what I'm saying. I don't like this scene either. The entire, like it was just so random.

I was just like, what was that and why was it so weird? See, that's where we need a shot of the cops getting on the radio and being like, yeah, look, we know this killer's out here, but we got something we gotta tell. We're bringing another guy in. Don't worry about this murdering guy. We got a whole other issue to deal with here.

So like, this was just a pile. It was just random. It was just shit everywhere and like, Laying sideways. And I'm like, this is not how you set up a store. Well, why the hell did they have Halloween costumes out in December?

Why was there still inflatable Easter bunnies hanging out there too? As much as I love and miss those old vinyl Halloween costumes. I was glad to see them, but I was just like, so we just montaged and it's been months, right? So why is the Halloween stuff still on there? Well, the whole, every time they're in the store, I'm not paying attention to what's going on in the movie.

I'm just like, okay, are they, Are they going to show us any He-Man stuff? Oh, there it is, Castle Grayskull. And then I could pay attention. Ira's toy store sucks. How?

Well, and apparently it doesn't do too well because at the end of Christmas Eve, the shelves were fully stocked. That's true. So real world problems. I figured that. It's like, at least pretend like you give a damn.

No. And then the more you get into it, I'm like, this is all so well put together. But then we cut to them, and we're watching these two who are doing it and are, quote unquote, bad. They're being naughty. But I'm like, he just comes busting into the door.

Right. Did his super Santa powers let him know that they were being naughty? No, because he confronts the little girl, and he's like, are you naughty? And she's like, no. And he's like, are you sure?

And she's like, nope. And he's like, okay. With an axe? One swipe and decapitation? That is a good shot, man.

Well, he was sledding downhill pretty quickly. I don't know why, because there was no hill and no snow. I'm sorry, I'm all hopped up on these cookies. Wonderful Christmas cookies encased in sugar. But something about, I just could not stop laughing throughout that entire scene, because it just kept going.

Whatever, this is the price we pay for watching ridiculous Christmas movies. Screenwriting. Unique scripting. Hey, that's a whole different movie. Good performances.

Can I read a quick quote from Mary Warnoff about that movie? I would be upset if you didn't now. Silent Night, Bloody Night was terrible. We were given a weird script and Ted Gershonny tried to spark it up. He tried to make it an artistic statement, but it didn't work.

It didn't even make much sense. Most people couldn't understand what was going on, which is not good, particularly for a horror film. But it's unique. Mary's pretty awesome. Always impressed with Mary.

Well, if you want us to watch this proclaimed by the star of the movie, terrible movie, then yeah, join the club. Go to moviemeltdown.com and join the Meltdown Horror Club and you can give us that movie or any number of others. Some good performances kind of movies. Holy infant so tender and mild We say sleep in heavenly peace In heavenly peace.