Trailer Trash

Hang on, hang on, hang on. Oh, Trailer 3. I haven't seen this one. I am not looking forward to this movie, but I want to go see it in the theater so I can bitch about it. Sounds about right.

Touch your mind. Don't you cry. It's cold asleep, you little baby. This is J.T. Petty, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown.

We'll have cake and all. Pray you won't. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. It's showtime folks.

Enjoy the show. Our nuclear reactor, pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian. I'm David.

I'm Patrick. I'm Karen. Karen's back. Yeah. The much requested.

You guys got to send her emails and let her know. We've told her she's beloved by the entire internet. Three guys in Irish land. They also, in addition to the rest of the internet. Well, before we get into whatever you want to call this segment, just to throw it out there, I was going to say, this week, John Wick comes out.

Have any of you seen that? I'm not saying that it's on my computer right now, but I have not watched it yet. You need to. I just watched it this weekend. It's everything I'd heard.

It is exactly like, and I'm not knocking this. It's not like it worries about story. It does have a solid story, but it's about five minutes set up. It's like all you need is this really basic structure, and then it just goes to town and just annihilates everything. So, it is a hell of a lot of fun.

Once you get past the... There's a thing in the beginning. Everybody that's seen it knows what I'm talking about. It needs to be there for the entire movie to happen, so I won't go into it. What's the basic premise?

What's the basic... If you can do it spoiler free. Is it just Keanu Reeves being Keanu Reeves? No, that's the thing. He's not bad in it.

I've heard some interviews with him lately that he actually doesn't sound like an idiot. We've all done the Keanu voice for so long that all we can say is, oh, what an idiot. But he was behind that big documentary about cinematography. I think. I love it when the camera moves.

It was super dedicated to preserving film. I was like, Keanu Reeves? You need real film it's so real and visceral. But yeah so I was like at that point and then I heard this whole interview and he again doesn't sound like an idiot so I'm trying to like give him a break. I've always kind of felt that way it seems like anytime he's being interviewed or he's like talking off you know out of character yeah that's a good reference he seems like intelligent and then you know you put him in a part and it's like he seems like an idiot wow We don't need that in porno.

That'd be terrifying. We're making Tai Chi porno. Imagine the Matrix camera style things you could do with porn. You can see the money shot from every angle it was. It'd be like when the water drop hit in the water and it ripples.

It would be like that. The whole money shot would be like the slowest motion ever. And you would see every drop splatter. Critics acclaim the 14 minute money shot because of slow motion. What are we calling this segment, Brian?

I don't know. What would you like to come up with? Well, not Taylor Cash because that's trademarked. Well, I was like, I don't care. I mean, it's not its own show.

It's just a segment. So if you don't want, you know, if you want to go your entire different way, I think all of them are taken though. Trailer segment one. The internet is already filled up with everybody using every phrase that's ever been done. We'll just name it like a comment.

So this is like a comment. So it's like VS2014B. That's good. If you'd like to name this episode after a loved one, send us $ 55. I heard that commercial.

The other day. And you can watch it fade into the Earth's atmosphere and burn up. For Valentine's Day, name an episode after your loved one. Oh, gosh. Who does that?

You get a package sent in the mail. Like what? With a map of stars and shit. Not to be too douchey, but what podcast is so big that someone would mark out to have him go, this episode is the David Lugo episode. Did you see the David Lugo episode?

I would totally do that. If you guys would like to sponsor each individual episode, just get a hold of me. Or Dave's stage name, The Dark Lord. All right. So anything else before we fire into our trailers for the week?

Go for it. Anybody watched anything recently? Movies? That was mine. I didn't know if you'd seen anything.

Have we watched anything recently? We've been watching The Wire. Yeah, we've just been watching The Wire. That show's so good. I can't believe how good it is.

And it's like, you know it's good because it's got British black people in it. Second season. I know. That's exactly how it has to be. And that one guy that's the douchebag from 300.

Oh, well, that did just make me think something. Did you see the whole little conundrum Cumberbatch got himself into? he used the term colored actors. Oh my God. He's British. And what was ironic though, well, here's what's ironic.

The conversation, his actual quote that that was in was saying how there needs to be more African-American actors in big roles. And just in the middle of his dream, he said colored actors are, and of course, you know, like half the internet blew up, like, Oh my God, you're being racist. He's like, I did not hear that. Sincerely apologize. Like crazy.

And he's like, I feel extra stupid because what I was talking about was literally about how we need more African American, you know, but I was trying to be not pretty. I was trying to make this comment about the prejudice in the system. And I made a prejudice. And that's just a weird term because I was thinking lately, like if you use the phrase person of color, it's fine. And I'm like, Essentially, is that any different?

Splitting hairs. I understand it. Has a lot of history. I know there's a real reason, but I was like, that's not how he meant it. You know that's not how he meant it.

So if you can't call them colored, like colored folk, can you call them just black? Or is that bad too? I think we have to have a setting because you can't use African American when there's an entire world out there. Yeah, and he's British, so he's not really referring to just American actors. Not Americans, it's like African and British.

So yeah, I was going to say, is there... African-Saxon? African-Irish? Like, what is that? I don't know.

We need more black people on film. I can't say anything these days. I would say black. I would. I don't think black's a bad word.

I don't think it is. I refer to stupid white people all the time. Right, right. I can make fun of white people. We need less factors of no color.

And it's just descriptive. I say that I'm brown. It's all just, yeah, just identifying people. Don't tell the internet that you're Asian. They'll go nuts.

I'm not mainland Asian. Don't tell them you're Asian and in cosplay comic character costume right now. I was going to say, they're going to be requesting schoolgirl outfits with little skirts. Did you get the English letterbox edition of the show in Steelbook? It's got the Asian girl on the cover.

Oh my gosh. First trailer, Brian? For this segment that we're calling? V2S1W4B. Trailer trash.

Trailer trash. What are you kids doing out there? Go get my cigarettes and watch a movie trailer. Bring my PBR in the house. We have just seen rushes direct from Hollywood of pictures being released in the coming weeks.

And we are proud to announce that this theater will soon bring you the greatest array of pictures ever to. Reach our screen. You'll see the finest stars in exciting performances. We're thrilled to the suspense. Comedy.

Romance, and drama of world-famous stories. Here's a glimpse of a few of them coming to this theater soon. Let's all start off right there. Fantastic Four. All right.

In this modern... You want. Me to rant right away? That's cool. Of the Fantastic Four franchise, Marvel is trying to wring even more money out of something they burned previously.

Don't blame Marvel. Well, I guess it's not the real Marvel. It's the second-rate Marvel, right? They can use the fancy flipbook opening, but they don't own. They have none of the creativity.

They can't share any of the same content. They just happen to own Spider-Man and X-Men. See, I re-watched all the X-Men original trilogy, if you will. And I forgot they open with that Marvel flip book. I was like, oh yeah, this was before there was a big.

But it's like, even if you watch it, it's different comic cells than the real Marvel. It's like, this was before Marvel became Marvel, essentially. And it's like, why don't they just... Why doesn't real Marvel go over to fake Marvel thoughts and say things like, Wouldn't you all just love 1% gross off of a movie that we put Spider-Man or Wolverine in? Maybe they just make a Spider-Man Wolverine movie.

Especially Sony. Isn't Sony kind of hurting at this point? Sony can't even keep their internets intact. That's what I'm saying. They need 1% gross profit.

They'd be like, hey, we have Disney money, so... We've got Mickey behind us. Yeah, fuckers! Here we go. Boop, boop, boop.

Sounds like a cat purring. That was nice. I tried. The cat's back in the projection room. You know, the cells were really kind of blocked out, weren't they?

You couldn't discern an actual superhero in the flip book. In a world of establishing shots. Human beings have an immeasurable desire to discover. To invent. To build.

Our future depends on us furthering these ideals. A responsibility. That rests on the shoulders of generations to come. But with every new discovery, there is risk. There is sacrifice.

And there are consequences. Hello, Star Trek. I know. Exactly. Slow down, kid.

No! Hello, Super 8. Aw. I like that it's a little steampunky. Is it steampunky?

Well, you know, it's not like super major. From the studio they brought in. No creative mind. From the studio that fucked up everything else that you love. From the bank that bankrolled.

But I'm glad she's in it. I'm just, I'm not a big. Fan of her. I love her. She was good in American Horror Story because she played a crazy bitch.

Did you see Frank Underwood? House of Cards? Oh, it's, you will know. She's great in House of Cards. You should watch it.

But is she playing a crazy girl? No. Thank you, sunshine. We meant to go into space and we actually went to the danger zone. I've already heard a lot of chatter that this script is incredibly close to, I think, Diversion?

Some other... I get all these urgent-ish movies mixed up, but there's some other... Sci-fi movie that drops before it, and apparently the premise is real close. It's already getting kind of pooped on. I think it's Divergent?

Yeah, the next chapter of Divergent. Like, apparently it's very similar. It's some other word that sounds like the last time around. That sounds right. Well, in this one, it's not the typical Fox cop-out, put them in space and let them get hit with a solar flare.

It's the original story where they go to the danger zone. I don't know the name of it. Was there a highway there? I don't know. Because I think I took that one time.

No, but it was on the way to it. Well, what I don't understand is how is Doom. How does Doom. Because that's the guy going down the hall, so the internet has said. When you see him walking down the hall from behind and people are dying in front of him, it's Doom.

Is he not the main villain? But he's a computer hacker. So how is he... On the science team and on the side, he's a hacker? How is he there for this stuff?

If he's just an anonymous computer troll, how is he around? And how is his face going to get messed up? Where is. All of his motivations for being after Fantastic Four. I'm worried about the mask.

Is it Doom? Oh, no. That can make it break. Is it Doom but leet speak? Are we getting zeros in there?

They leaked him in the Doom outfit. There's this image of him, and it's not the greatest quality, but it's like, because it's green screen, it's some scene where he's floating, and it's very leathery. It almost looks more medieval. Senator Doom. He doesn't not look.

Medieval. Yeah. See those, those shots. It's very, very different. Well, okay.

So here's the thing. Let's put it this way though. Like I remember when before Marvel, real Marvel was Marvel and we got the leaked photos of Tony Stark as Iron Man. And I was like, they are going to ruin this. And this is their one chance to do perfection.

And then looking back, we know that it was basically biblical. But look at him. I mean, that's. We don't know. I mean, we know it's going to suck.

Did you guys see Kingdom of Heaven? Yeah. He looks like the pauper king. Like, he looks like the pauper king in like a silk onesie. Like, what is going on?

I love how fake the hand looks. It's just so rough. But can you really tell with just the green screenshots? No, you can't. You have no idea what they're dreaming up right now.

And you know half of it is going to be computer generated. Yeah, there's going to be so much added stuff. Is he going to have moving CGI armor though? Like how tricky is that going to be? Well, it's going to look stupid because it's fake Fox and they don't have Disney money.

I told you, fuckers. So have you heard like the bigger drama like with like the actual comic books, what the Fantastic Four comic books have done? in response to the movies. Like, apparently when they... It's a fight already. No, it's been a fight.

This is crazy, because honestly, I didn't believe it. Like, I actually, like, you know, kind of clicked links and clicked links to kind of read more and more to make sure this wasn't just one dude making some stuff up. Like, back when the first two Fantastic Fours, the more recent ones, the one with Alba, you know, and. They all pale in comparison to Corman, but go ahead. Apparently, at that time, Marvel was so kind of grumpy...

With those movies that they literally stopped making Fantastic Four comics. There has not been a new Fantastic Four comic since. Those characters appear in the other comics, but they stopped Fantastic Four comics to the point where even when they do like promo banners or big collage art pieces for conventions and for stuff, they don't put the Fantastic Four characters on it. They are so grumpy with Sony that they don't want to even help advertise Fantastic Four. They have literally snuffed out their own characters just to kind of help Booby Trap.

Why do they keep lining up to make movies about them? Are they that beloved? I don't know. I was never that. Doom is Silver Surfer to only things that matter in Fantastic Four.

Well, you know the thing that I heard that I've Benedict Cumberbatch was really confused about was, can we call him a colored actor because he's a flame in this one? And that's a color. Flame. It wasn't funny. Okay.

Next trailer. No, but what sucks is I like that guy. We mentioned this before, but the guy playing Johnny Storm, I don't know his name, but the guy from the found footage, he had tons of charisma. I dig it. And I don't have a problem with him being Johnny Storm.

It's just when you take... the dozen little changes that they've made and you put all that together, it's like, it's, is it really Fantastic Four anymore? Like you, this is your origin story and your origin story is so divergent from the core story that it's like, how do you really call it Fantastic Four anymore? I was hoping that like Captain America was secretly Johnny Storm and that was going to like come out when he's fighting old Johnny and he's like. Flame off! At some point they should cross over and make him both characters.

And you know what? Just make him go Saiyan at the same time. And then make him ride a skateboard like his part in Scott Pilgrim. Onto a train. Okay, that is one of the best scenes in Scott Pilgrim.

Oh my gosh, it is. It is really good. Ted too? Yeah, sure. Let's do it.

I gotta keep this ADD like it's meant to be. In a world where there's dolls. I can't believe you guys didn't think of that. Did you even think of, like, come on, the Flash Gordon stuff? Did you at least think that was funny in part one?

It was funny. Happily Ever After only exists in fairy tales. Yet a talking teddy bear is about to marry his girlfriend. I now pronounce you teddy bear and wife. Let me kiss the bear.

Proving that Americans don't give a crap about anything. So I got some big news. Tammy Lynn and I are gonna have a baby. That's awesome. Wait, how do you guys?

We need a sperm donut. What is that? What are you doing? I'm getting ready to it. What do you mean you're getting ready?

What are you doing? It's so family-guided movie. Yeah. Okay, before anything even to do with the movie itself, trailers in general, I kind of feel like I don't need to see that movie now. Yeah, I don't need to see the movie.

In two minutes and 37 seconds, it's told me the entire movie. You've summed up the whole thing. That aside, what do you want to do? I think the problem with the first one was plot. I almost feel like it had to just be a slice of life.

Like, look, there's no... Because the last half an hour of the first one was really bad. The first hour, hour and a half, I thought it was really funny. I was into it. And then I even kind of forget what the plot was.

The guy, whatever reason they were chasing the guy, there was this huge chase scene in the stadium. And I was just like, okay, we haven't had a joke in over 20 minutes now. This is a comedy. I don't care about wrapping up the plot. And if you're past an hour and a half, you're already in trouble, probably, if it's a comedy.

It's rare that you can make a comedy work that long. 90 pages, people. That's all you get. He jerks off at the register. We just want more of that.

I don't know. So that's my issue is mostly Seth MacFarlane because I feel like he has moments where he's really smart and then he will completely dumb that down for the other 75% of what he does and that's for a family guy. He's really smart when Star Wars is involved. Even those I feel like are kind of lame oh the robot chicken though the robot chicken's awesome that's not Seth MacFarlane Seth Green is kind of awesome Seth MacFarlane. I feel like those are so like, it's almost so close to Star Wars.

I'm like, I could just watch the movie. Like why? I don't understand why he bothers. It's like, not that funny. So I don't know.

I, I've, I have a lot of issues with him because I feel like he dumbs so much stuff down and everything has to be like the most guttural base humor ever. Obviously having an entire, yeah. That first season of Family Guy and it was just, yeah. Like, there was episodes. I mean, things have really changed since the first time Family Guy was on.

Because now they're super mainstream, really. Yeah, I was going to say, you can do it all day long. But back then, I remember, you know, when it got cut, I kind of understood why. I was like, you know, they didn't want to get sued. Like, they were, the episode with the Million Man March and stuff, I was like, oh, my gosh, they're so going to get in trouble for this.

And they didn't. But that was what was so, I think, shocking it. at first with it was just like, Oh my God, you can't do this on TV. Like, how are you getting away with it? I don't know. I feel like, again, it's just so dumbed down.

And so like, everything has to be like, does our comedy not progress past 11 years old? Like the gross out humor on almost all. That's why I like, I will attack almost every modern comedy because they're all just stupid, gross out stuff. And I'm like, Hmm. There's a fine line for that.

I'm not saying you can't find humor in that, but I'm like, there's more than that, right? I would hope. Did you watch Million Ways to Die in the West? No. It was brilliant only once.

I never need to see it again, but seeing it was fucking phenomenal. He hated it. It's fine. I don't give a fuck. I was entertained.

But you don't want to ever watch it again? It was almost the same thing. Well, one. Obviously this is personal just for me, I didn't really dig him. No, yeah.

I hated him, but I loved everything else. I don't think he should have been in it. I think the things coming out of his mouth and everything was funny, but he just kind of looks... This is going to be bad, but he just looks creepy to me. There's something weird.

He looks like Papa John. He looks like someone who photoshopped someone in real life. It's like somehow he's walking around photoshopping himself. It's like you don't know what's going on. He's a writer that wants to be a star.

He's a Tarantino. He wants to host the Oscars, and it's like, you know what? You're not charismatic enough to be that level of celebrity, but he thinks he is, and he keeps... He's got enough money coming at him now that they'll still back him to be the lead in his own thing. I can buy my Oscar.

Yeah. Get off my Oscar. He's not going to get an Oscar, but he can get his own movie, and he puts himself in the center of it. But about a million days to die, whatever it is. A million ways to die.

Whatever. Can we just... confirm that like of the top 10 cameos. Oh that back to the future scene was awesome that back to the future scene was. And then even like it had that one and then it had jamie foxx at the end which. Oh right right i forgot about that.

So that for me was just like because when we get to the back to the future reference i was like already at a place where i'm like It's funny. Like all the people dying for the bowl and all the random shit. Didn't you know it was coming though? No. As he's walking up on the shed.

Well, see, I didn't know. But as he's walking up on the shed, you know, and I heard the electrical sparks and stuff. I was like, surely there's no way he's going to do a Back to the Future thing here. I was like, oh my gosh. It blew my mind.

So that was genius. And then it really got me with the Django Unchained thing at the end. I was dying. But again... When all you do is reference other things.

Well, that's all he does. That's all he's good at. He's infamous for being the 80s throwback guy. Everything is like, hey guys, remember this? You have no original comedy of your own.

That's what all those lame date night and epic movie, all that crap. What they're trying to do is what Airplane was doing. But Airplane had nothing but original comedy. And it was making fun of the premise. But all the jokes were their own, and they were funny.

God, those movies still hold up, too. Airplane absolutely holds up today. You'd think it's not funny when I say he literally throws poop at the fan. Oh, my gosh. But when you see it, it's hilarious.

And, of course, but don't call me Shirley, and I die to this day. That stuff is funny because it's smartly written. Even when it's dumb, like, 11-year-old humor, it's put together really smart. So, like, seriously, though, the inflation of the autopilot... I will go down in history forever.

Yes. I'm pretty sure that's one of our wallpapers on our computer. It is. And it's so good. But also it's like the little things.

Like when he's like, they got sick from eating the fish and it's the perfect fish skeleton. That for some reason just gets me. It's like, that's a Looney Tunes humor. Definitely. But it works.

And well, again, Looney Tunes was written genius. Yeah. Like it's so damn smart. It's so smart. But then that's what I started looking at.

Like when you saw like, Top Secret was trying to do it. Did it all right. Naked Gun started out doing it all right. The first Naked Gun. Everything from that point wanted to rip off that style and got worse and worse.

As he thrust his purple-headed warrior into her... Quivering mound of love pudding. Every time. I feel like that's what all the movies became after that. Everything was like, oh, well, that's how you do humor.

You just reference crap that we've seen before and do an exact ripoff. Every sci-fi movie from henceforward will be that Harrison Ford one with the androids. That Blade Runner. That Blade Runner. How dare you forget the name of it.

Whatever. I've got the European steel. Oh, you know that. Is it remake or sequel that's happening? Ridley Scott keeps talking about all of it.

Yeah. He keeps doing that with all of his. He's postponing Prometheus. You know, he should just do the book. I mean, was it Do Robots Count Electric Sheep?

Whatever the book. It's as great as Blade Runner is. There was a lot of stuff. A lot more stuff in the book. If they just did one based on the book, it would be different enough to feel new, but still you don't have to use the word reboot.

What do you think is going to happen when that comes out the same time that Scarlett Johansson Ghost in the Shell comes out? Because Ghost in the Shell is Blade Runner. How about that crossover? There you go. Harrison Ford.

Harrison Ford's character can't tell if the ghost in the shell girl is human or not. There you go. Get off my police car. Blade Runner played by Christopher Pratt. No, it won't be Christopher Pratt.

It should be Shia LaBeouf. Oh, God, no. What have we done to deserve Shia LaBeouf? Oh, be ready, for he is coming soon. Now, all on one super horror showcase, over four and a half hours of non-stop, all-scare terror, starring Christopher Lee, Lex Barker, John Ashley. and the all dead inhuman creatures from the tombs of doom.

Chiller Carnival of Blood. Go to see Chiller Carnival of Blood in super future color rated G.E. Hey guys, look what I've got. Check out these awesome earbuds I'm using right now. Look at that.

That's wood right there. That's actual wood. Why would you use wood to make technology? Because they're It's like they're steampunk. Is steampunk really wood?

I thought it was more of a brass thing. Well, you got to work the wood in to hold the brass together. These are the fancy high-end steampunk versions with a mic built in, mind you. But yeah, where would I get these you wonder? Tweaked Audio.

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You haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on with the show. Wasn't already made in Africa with the show okay next on trailer trash trademark another 80s throwback being remade by the original guy who did the 80s one maybe now that he got money so i'm just gonna go out and preface this with this is my dream scenario. And I can already say without a doubt, it's going to be one of the greatest movies of all time.

I'm glad he got the funding to do a lot of action. Cause early on it was talking about animation. Cause apparently like, well. It's too big scale to do live action without the budget. But still it's like, I'm glad that he's, you know, back when they did it, when was there?

It was 72, 74, something like that. It's whatever. Somewhere in the mid seventies on that first one. But it's like back then, you know, they wrote it, To be like this whole thing that you could not do CGI-wise. And it was like the Matrix reloaded or whatever.

And that's why the first one's so weird. Because they didn't have a budget. Exactly. It's like there's times when it's normal. There's times when it's post-apocalyptic.

It doesn't make sense. But now it's like not only can it be continuous with the post-apocalyptic thing, but also it can be fucking crazy. Dude, it looks. It looks nuts. This trailer looks rad.

Like this is full chub. Mad Max Fury Road starring racist Mel Gibson. He does not mind saying colored people. My name is Max. My world is fire and blood.

Welcome to the post-apocalyptic world. My name's Max. Do you think they're going to get him the cameo in it? Mel Gibson's not going to pop up somewhere necessarily. I think he is.

I have a feeling most of this movie is going to look just like that, though. Oh, it's going to look like that, yeah. It'll probably all be desert and desert hills. Yep. And one-armed Charlize Theron.

Man, these wrecks. Them doing the thing on the poles to go from car to car. This stuff looks so fantastic. Why would you step on a man in the desert and then drag him behind a car? I like her robot arm.

Even Keanu Reeves would love this cinematography. This cinematography. It is nuts, though, for real. Some of these shots are just disgusting. I'm just completely on board with the aesthetic.

Just what they're wearing, the way the cars are. It's so stylized. It looks so fantastic. And so stylized. It's so good.

I love the visuals. The visuals are phenomenal. That shot right there with the double javelins. It's like when those first Ong Bak movies came out, you know, that they were just murdering the stunt doubles. So not to completely bypass this, but does this mean we're going to get a Thunderdome?

We better get a Thunderdome. Does that mean like when they do a future movie, was Thunderdome canon to his core story or was that just them doing whatever they wanted with Tina Turner? Well, I mean, that was him too, right? Didn't he already do Thunderdome? Because we're not rebooting, right?

This is a continuation. Oh, is it? I don't know. I don't know. But, I mean, it's the same director.

Why would he remake his own movie? Not that that's never been done. No, I think that they're making him remake it, but I don't know for sure. I just feel like they wouldn't continue on. I don't know.

See, here's what I was hoping, and this obviously isn't true because they have him playing Max. But I was like, it would be so awesome, because they're bringing a different actor in anyway, if he just is a new character- And he's in that same world and you get like this whole like his journey through the whole three-fourths of it and you get to the end and there's an old crazy Max played by Mel Gibson. That's like the king of their new world. And like he has to like. Spouting off racial slurs.

Yeah, probably. It's a desert world, but it's better without the beep. He's got to be like power mad. We got rid of money because all the beep wanted it. He's become the new king.

He's taken over. Like he's become power mad and he has to like destroy Max. I thought that would have been like amazing. So I don't think that's the way they're going, but it also looks, that. Would be really good.

It would. Like, I'm like, why did they not do that? They missed an opportunity there. Keanu just heard that in his mind is blown. See most of what I've, what I know about this right now is, is just word of mouth and friends and coworkers and stuff like that.

And someone told me, you know, I can't say this is fact, but someone told me that this was like a reboot. Like, It was him wanting to start over at full control, take full advantage of the technology now, and do how he really visualized it in his head. That sounds a little too Lucas-y. I don't like that. That's not what I.

Really wanted to do. Yes, Madam Maxon! We'll go through the deserts! Don't step in the poodoo. There's always a bigger fish.

So, I don't know. I mean, that looks amazing. And again, now he's got the budget to do it. So they almost have to go out of their way to make it terrible. They have to try.

They have to try really hard to screw this up. Throw in a little lens flare. But again, sort of contrary to what we were just kind of saying earlier, I have no idea what that movie's about. That trailer is so all action, is so all visual aesthetic that I don't know what that movie's about at all. I do like the little tribute there.

Because if you watch, you can catch that weird car with the spikes. that is totally The Cars That Ate Paris. Really? Old Australian. I just watched that about a year and a half ago, and it's awesome. It's a weird middle-of-nowhere Australia movie, and there's a bunch of cars that come in at the end, most of which are just wrecked up, look like crash-up derby kind of cars.

But then there's this one that's like a bug that's covered in these weird spikes for no good reason. It just comes out of nowhere. It is a weird movie. And they worked it in there. Like there was a nice little Australian tribute there.

So I kind of like that. So now we just need some Death Race 2000 tributes. I'm all for that. The Machine Gun Joe. Frankenstein.

I'm on time. I'm Frankenstein. But it was, we had, years ago we had director JT Petty on. And he was, he's a big fan of Mad Max. And he was like, he was the one that told me this.

And I was like, oh God, he might be right. He said that Babe is a retelling of Mad Max. Actually, it's almost embarrassing for me watching my movies, how much of an effect those two movies have. Yeah, and from there, I mean, Babe is still a pretty touchstone movie. So a lot of George Miller in there.

That one's visually amazing, really. You wouldn't see that coming. No, absolutely. It's also, I mean, shockingly touching for what it is. Yeah.

And pretty much the same basic story as Road Warrior or your Jimbo or any of those. I mean, it's like, yeah, Road Warrior comes to town with one skill and uses that to fight two warring factions, you know, and it's Babe can talk. Babe's tongue is his sword. Are we talking about the one with the pig? Yeah.

Babe. My mind is. Well, keep in mind, it's directed by the same guy. That's the same man who's making this movie. He made Babe.

He made Babe. That'll do, pig. That's right. See, now I'm trying to remember to plot to Babe. It's been so long.

Our main character has special skills that he's the only one that can do what needs to be done. He comes in. He takes over. The more he went into it, I was like, he's kind of right. Oh, my gosh.

It's an interesting concept, at least. So does that mean that we can do a weird mashup where we take This Mad Max, but we grabbed the audio from Babe, and we have him talking as Babe the pig, and we have other people talking like the sheep and the old man. If you have free time. Mad Babe. You should put that together.

Babe Max. Max Babe. Max Babe. Mad Babe. Hashtag Max Babe.

Dave Lugo set us up with a controversy at Cannes Film Festival. Oh, all right. So, like, I've read two articles on this so far. Like, I assume this happened recently. So. whoever has Jupiter ascending, is that another, is that Sony Warner brothers?

It doesn't matter. Whoever made Jupiter ascending thought that they were going to kind of do this kind of Easter egg ish kind of thing. And with like no announcement show Jupiter ascending at the cans film festival under some kind of mystery title, like essentially like when they sold the tickets to it, it was essentially like, you know, mystery project X from, you know, universal studios or whoever it's from. So people, didn't know what they were about to see. They just knew they were going to see someone, a movie, you know, from these people.

So they go in there and it's Jupiter ascending. And apparently it's so bad. People are walking out. I believe that. Like walking out.

And it, it, the way that, um, they legally kind of tied his stuff down. Like no one can officially do a review on it yet. Even though people were there that do reviews, they can't do any reviews yet, but it's, like apparently kind of like the, you know, just them questioning people on the way out to theater and stuff. It tanked to the cans crowd. Now I get that to kind of bougie elite kid crowd.

So maybe it's just that, but the fact that like almost everyone came out, like apparently the biggest thing was everyone said it's confusing. They said that the plot's confusing and they don't quite understand what's going on. So basically matrix two and three. Yeah. The same issue everyone had with Matrix 2 and 3.

What do they do? Two, I could grip. Three was the one where I was like, okay. Why are they jumping? I don't.

They need to, I don't know. They need to bring in like a third party to be like hey does this make sense. I had to check their stuff writers i had to read like these huge essays that people wrote about the matrix trilogy to fully understand it like these people had to like i mean these huge essays and all the time reading like why am i reading all this just to understand a movie But I got there and I'm like, holy F. You completely failed to portray your story if that is what that was supposed to be saying. But they did have a huge overarching story from the beginning, I've heard.

Matrix was a giant plan that wasn't just one movie. It was all part of their original plan. Back in the day, Suncoast, did you guys ever play The Matrix in the store? No. The Matrix VHS tape we had was like some kind of, it had some kind of bonus feature thing at the end where it's interviews with the cast and stuff.

Lawrence Fishburne has this spot where they're just like, it's just him just talking about what he thinks in a movie. And, you know, when they first approached him with it. And I remember, you know, this is all before the second, third movie came out. And I've always remembered this and it's always like just amplified in my head as the movies came out. And I realized how right he was.

But with the first one, you know, he was talking about how smart it is. And he's like, you know, I know you won't think it now. He's like with the first movie, you know, it's not a smart kid movie, but he's like, the overall story is so smart. And so many people are not going to get it. And like his words, he's like, I'm shocked.

We're making these movies. Like he said, he's like, it's so smart. I'm shocked. We're making these movies. Cause nobody's going to get it.

Nobody at all is going to get it. And he was completely right. Like as two and three came out, Man, it just turned to hate. With every additional movie, it was just hate. Yeah, it wasn't like they just slapped on.

Say it, the Dark Lord. They didn't just slap on those stories. Because, yeah, that's what I heard. They went into the pitch room with the entire arc of all three movies. And they were just like, okay.

Well, didn't they originally want to make just the second one first? Because it had the most action. And then they're like, the Wachowskis were fighting. Like, no, we have to start off at one. Or they did some stuff that I guess is technically...

Again, this is from the special stuff. The executive producer was joking about how they kind of came in with this mentality that here are scenes that cannot be cut, period. These scenes have to be in the movie. And they're like, you don't understand how editing works. You don't get to come in and tell us what definitely stays in.

Apparently, they fought tooth and nail for the sex scene in part two. When Trinity and Neo, during the rave, have that... From day one, they're like, the rave scene in the second movie will happen. Period. You will not cut that.

And it's just in retrospect, it's like, why was that scene so important to you guys? That was the scene that felt so weird. It became a music video in the middle of the movie, and it's like, why are we... Why is everybody dry humping? Why do they have to see this?

It's an art in their brains. And now back to Jupiter Ascending. You're the perfect hunting machine. Fearless. Relentless.

You've been searching for one thing your whole life. And she's down there. Make sure this is the right one. It's her. Good.

Killer. He's gonna die. Yeah. He dies in the first half hour. He dies in everything.

For England, Mila. It must be on his resume. Like, you know, like, talent's dying. I'm great at dying in movies. I'll give you half an hour.

I'll get him to like me just enough to be upset that I just died. I got my flying shoes. You know, even just from watching this trailer, I feel like this is one of those things where it's... It's. John Carter, too.

Come on. It's going to suck. No. John Carter was good. Yeah, I was going to say.

Dude, that's a whole other conspiracy. Did you read about, like, the whole Disney thing on that? Oh, they did. Disney was like, yeah, they shot themselves in the foot on purpose. They were so upset that that movie did well, they did everything they could to snuff it.

It's so weird. They went out of their way to screw that movie. That movie is the inspiration for so much of what is sci-fi today. And it's like they did not get behind it at all. So much.

See, I'm just confused. It's like we got dragons, we got spaceships, we got jet shoes. I mean, I don't... What is going on? Mila Kunis.

I just feel like someone stole a video game script and made a movie of it instead. He might have it, actually. We'll tie the CGI sequences together with Mila Kunis. Is this Mass Effect 4? I just don't know how they put Channing Tatum on it.

He's only good at dancing. You know, I hate that I'm going to have to watch him as Gambit. Because I love Gambit and I'm going to have to watch that movie. Even if it sucks, I'm going to have to watch it. But I'm not.

Unless he loses weight. I've never imagined Gambit that thick. Gambit's like, he's a thief. He's like an average build kind of guy. He's like not a muscle head.

Like what? And in this one, he looks more male strippery than his male strippers. Like that weird makeup he's got going on. Isn't that your stage makeup? His facial hair feels so forced.

His little goatee. Like it doesn't look natural at all. No, it's not. There's a strangeness to it. It's almost like it's longer than his hair because he's got a buzz cut and it's like his facial hair is longer than his hair and that always looks weird.

I don't know. Where do you think the problems are with this movie? I can tell just from the trailer it looks chaotic. The first problem is that it's been episode two'd. It's entirely CG'd.

Yeah, it looks so CG'd. I have a feeling that is going to be 90% action, 10% story and at 10% story it's probably not going to matter. Yeah. Well, it just looks like the trailer looks convoluted. Like, I don't even know where we're going in this trailer.

It just looks like a lot of like. Which is by location. You know, it's like you have all these spaces, all these shots in space and these spaceships. And then all of a sudden you're back in New York City flying around skyscrapers in your jet shoes. Like, how is all this connected?

I would want to see it more if whoever tied the Interstellar trailer together had done this. Where it's just. Matthew McConaughey driving and crying in the spaceship. See, I felt like that was a terrible trailer because I almost didn't want to see Interstellar because of the trailer. But it gave nothing away.

Yeah, but at the same time, it doesn't even look like they go to space. I thought the whole thing was lead up to him launching and that was the entire movie. And so much of the movie is in space and that's what I ended up liking. So I'm like, I almost didn't go see it because of what they presented in that trailer. There's a fine line of like, yes, please don't tell me too much.

But at the same time, At least give me an idea of where we're going to be for the movie. Like, I don't know. That one was almost on the wrong side of that line for me. At least with this trailer, I don't have to go see the movie. It's true.

Because you won't understand it even if you do. And Janning Tatum doesn't strip, so I'm not interested in going. The next one's coming, don't worry. But does Mila Kunis strip? Mila Kunis.

We have nothing good to say about this. It's just not my kind of movie. To me, you know, I don't. I can't really back it up, but my gut impression tells me it's going to be a very generic, sci-fi, get butts in a theater kind of movie. No integrity.

It's not a movie. Even if you liked it this summer, it won't be a movie you like next summer. There's nothing long-lasting. I really kind of don't have time for those kind of movies anymore. Because nobody goes back and watches Ben Affleck's Paycheck.

Hey, it's no Reindeer Games, but what are you going to do? That was rough. Rough. So do we want to round out with Jurassic World? Do you want to round out with Age of Ultron instead?

I don't know. What do you think? I think it's getting too loud in here for you to do many more of these. I don't think. Pick one and go out and we'll save the next one for the next.

You know what's ironic is there's a lot of rumors that they're going to sneak a Batman vs. Superman trailer into Super Bowl. Apparently there's a lot of internet chatter that like that's going to be the big surprise is that the trailer is going to be during the Super Bowl. I don't know if I can. Yeah.

Like, I'll see it, I guess, but I don't know why they need to be salivating over it. Like, it'll be out when it comes out. This is like the greatest train wreck ever about to happen. What, there's Ultron? No, Batman v Superman.

It's going to be the age of Ultron. Right? The real Michael. I can't believe it's only like three, four months now. Like, it's so close.

It's so close. May? Isn't it May? And then it's going to be so horrible when Apocalypse comes out. Oh, did you hear about the casting?

For Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Storm. Yeah, they're young. Sansa from Game of Thrones is Jean Grey. That's how young we're talking. That's how young.

They're making them young. The other two, I didn't recognize the names, but I looked at the pictures and they are all like teenagers. Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Storm. Teenagers. X and Magneto are their age groups.

Fassbender and whatever his name is. Then it makes sense. It also makes sense now, and we've seen this with Harry Potter, if you're going to make a whole bunch of movies, you better cast them young enough that you can keep them around. If it's a two, three year break in between each, that you can come back and they're not 30 and 40 years old when they're already too old to be playing the parts anymore. Or for anybody to go see them.

Well, that's why, from what I understand, that's why in Game of Thrones, Bran's character in a TV show, they already have him at the point where he is in the last book. Way ahead of where the show, where he would be with the rest of the show because he's growing so quick. They're like, we need to hurry up and get you through your parts before you just straight up look like a grown man because he's supposed to be a little kid whose legs don't work and yeah he's getting so big they're like we're just gonna you know streamline your plot part to the end so we can just leave you off screen for a couple years because he's just growing too big. When you're dealing with actors getting older, making sequels.

Growing pubic hair. Depends on what kind of movie you're making. But my question, again, being a comic kid, so does this mean that we're going to get Hugh Jackman making out with Sansa? Absolutely. It has to happen.

I mean, think about that love triangle. Because the kid playing Cyclops looks like a kid. So you're going to have this grown-ass Hugh Jackman trying to steal this 17-year-old, 17-year-old girlfriend. That's going to be super creepy. Having just rewatched that first one, I was like, they're definitely playing that Rogue is totally kind of crushing on him.

And he at least pulls out that he's more into Jean Grey. But I kind of forgot how much They were sort of setting that up where like she was into him and like she was really. If you're making a Gambit movie, then you need to straighten out your rogue Gambit. And because it like it's Rogan Gambit. It's not Rogan Wolverine.

It's Rogan Gambit. You need to get that shit straight if you're doing a Gambit movie. And we don't need we don't need. paquin anymore she can she can go on we can recast we can you can go do your your true. Blood stuff during the last time she had her little cameo. You had your chance with redneck vampires she had like 10 seconds what was it just her like kissing johnny in a hallway or something it was just like 10 seconds.

And like her name was way up in the credits too because now she's a vampire star you. Know because she blows vampires so you know butts in seats that's what are we ready for age of ultron So ready. If you think you can handle it. This vulnerable world needs something more powerful than any of us. Everyone creates the thing they dread.

Ultra in the flesh. No matter who wins or loses, trouble always comes around. You've meddled with something you don't understand. We have no place in the world. Oh, boy. $ 300 million.

So, as we're watching this... Okay, wait. There might be a throw-in. Someone said that, you know, how geeks are. We're gonna, like, go frame by frame through trailers and try to see everything.

Everyone has, yes. I think it's the third one. There is a claim that you can see a Grey Hulk at some point. Someone claims that if you go frame by frame. During the Super Bowl.

This is going to be so good. Oh, South Africa. God, I just really hope they kill Hawkeye. I hate Hawkeye so much. Shut up.

I hate Hawkeye. Shut your face. God, James Spader's voice is so perfect. Oh, yeah. An Olsen.

I love that Olsen so much. I love Elizabeth Olsen. She is so awesome. Oh, that other kid. Is this Godzilla again?

I'd be sick if Godzilla was in this movie. Gollum. I wonder who he's going to be. You don't know who he's going to be? No.

He's a set up for Black Panther. He's Black Panther's villain. Oh, shut your face. I promise. Not him.

He's the villain from Black Panther. Oh, okay. I thought you said he was going to be Black Panther. He's not black. He's not colored.

He's not colored. So word on the street is that Scarlet Witch takes control of the Hulk. Nice. And that's why this fight's going on. And if you look, his eyes look red or something.

There's something to kind of show he's under an influence. I'm very excited. Hulkbuster armor looks so awesome. Hulkbuster is going to be the cosplay of the next decade. Oh, God.

You're not going to be able to walk in conventions because there's going to be so many big Hulk-y people under Hulkbuster armor. Battle Damage Hulkbuster. How will they make that into a bikini shape? That's your job. Get on that.

Internet has requested. Someone will find a way. For sure. There's probably somebody with one right now. It probably just involves paint.

I'm so stoked for this. And the thing is, you know, with Whedon and everybody involved with stuff, there's so much you don't see in these trailers. Yeah, it's the best. I mean, it's the thing. As excited as you got for the first Avengers trailer and this trailer, You got in the theater and there was so much that wasn't in the trailer that you know that's happening.

Like, you haven't seen Vision at all. And Vision's in it. Like, Vision will be in it. So, you have a whole character you haven't shown at all. He was a big deal character.

Vision's a very big deal. Yeah, Emily Olsen's awesome. That was one of the few. Like, I was kind of surprised at first when she started taking these huge properties. But I'm like, I don't care because she's such a good actress that I'm like, They can put her in all that stuff.

I don't care. Well, and Kick-Ass Kid playing Quicksilver. How awesome was that? It wasn't awesome last time. It wasn't awesome in Godzilla.

I like him. I like him in Kick-Ass. I liked him. In the first Kick-Ass. When he's like a little skinny nerd, I like him.

Although I do think X-Men kind of set the bar in Quicksilver because I liked the kid from American Horror Story. I thought he was fantastic. I thought that might have been the best part of of that movie was his character. It's also played really smart because it definitely leaves you wanting more. If they would have, like, drug him along and made him, like, well, maybe we'd have gotten tired of it.

But because we get maybe that 15-minute run, it's like, dude, that was awesome. Well, and that scene, you know, when they're escaping from the Pentagon was so genius because... Going back to the last episode again, that was one of those things that justifies the power. Because again, with Flash, you're like, cool, you can run fast. Quicksilver, cool, you can run fast.

But this is what running fast and moving fast can do. It was like, this is how that power is significant. He just fucked that room up in like half a second. I mean, they were about to be gunned down. It was a really good way of establishing Quicksilver and making him seem like someone that matter, not just a gimmick power.

Yeah. And so it'll be interesting to see if Marvel can back that up too. And cause he's not really in that trailer. You see Scarlet Witch, but. She's such a marketable person in general.

She's a name now. And she's really strong in the Marvel universe. She's very strong. Is it amazing that they haven't really shown her, you know, how she makes people think other people are dead. They haven't like sold the cracked shield from Captain America or the busted shield.

Iron Man armor, it's like, I cannot wait till we get closer to the movie and they start releasing that shit. And then with Vision, it's like. It's going to be awesome. It's going to go down. I cannot wait.

I just, I wonder what, what would your teaser be at the end of the second one? Because, you know, like. They're probably going to not go towards Thanos and go towards all of the new properties that are coming. I guarantee it's going to be Black Panther because the guy, Andy Serkis, is like the bad guy from Black Panther. So it's got to tie into.

Do you think that hidden clip at the end is going to be. Linking up Black Panther? It wasn't Iron Man. When they get Tony Stark, maybe it wasn't Iron Man 2 or something. They got him in the room and you can see all the TVs with all the maps.

That was the thing for that movie. Right. And it shows Africa and this. Yeah. Yeah, they've been hinting at it for a while.

So I think it's going to be more of that. Wasn't in the first Avengers when Tony Stark's first pulling up all the footage of the other superhero stuff, isn't one of those in Africa? Yeah. Because it looks like news footage around the world and he sees a lot of stuff and I think... The ore...

The vibranium? Yeah, I think it's vibranium. Yeah, I'm stoked. Why can't we have Angela Bassett as Storm? That's all I want.

I just want Angela. She would be awesome. She would be awesome. And she could still do it. She could still kill it.

I'm okay with it. We missed the window for Iman. Because somebody suggested that years ago. I was like, that's a good look. I don't know about her acting, but that's a good look.

But she's way too old now. Anything else we need to cover in this episode? I don't think we can. Patrick's house is a party 24-7. All right.

I guess that is enough for trailer trash this week. Are we still calling it that? That's enough for Pete71258. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next time.

Same geek feed. Thanks for listening. Like in the morning. Of a crazy night Like. Some mother and daughter in a night of chaste No way, no way, no way, no way Coming soon.

Coming soon Oh yeah. The same old babies with the same old toys They were screaming when. Bye. Bye. Coming soon Coming soon On the other side On the train Coming soon Coming soon.

So we're going to record something. Nice. So you can't talk too loud. And we're going to be nerds and talk to the TV. What are you going to record?

It's an internet show. I don't know how to make it make sense. You just got to be quiet. I don't know how to make it. You got to be quiet.

I don't understand the concept. Three more trailers. What's it about? We just make fun of the trailers. I think he needs to get a mic.

Mic him up. He will talk to anybody. Mic him up. You just watch it, and then we comment on it. I think you need to run it over with the Tacominators.

Okay, here we go. I'm sorry about this. It means our episode's going to end real quick. Are you doing karaoke? Yes.

I like karaoke. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by The Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!