Episode 45 - Fantasy Borough pt. 1 & 2

Weird Way Media Nike. Mister Walters, can see that guy with it now, he's an actor. That phone. I'm a can't drive. I'm the only camp driver in this place.

Good evening and welcome tonight, mister Walters. Taxi Podcast on HP your co host and with me as always is my co host, Father Malone. Father Malone? How why are you this evening? Gee?

I wonder what it would be like if we didn't have to write two full episodes, but we got paid to do it. This is Taxi Season two episodes twenty three and twenty four. This is a two parter called Fantasy Borrow Parts one and two. Hey, Father Malone, guess what we've hit the end of season two? Good god man, it came quickly, it really did.

This whole season is really flown by. This has been some great episodes, some that maybe missed the mark a little bit, but here we are. Congratulations on another season down. Very happy sir. No no, no, I didn't think you had it in you honestly.

Well I proved you're wrong. Suka. These episodes are written by Barry Kemp and directed by James Burrows. Remindered everybody, we're doing these shows in broadcast order and not in order of filming. This is the final pick up episode from season two.

Just as a reminder to our listeners, these pickup shows are made up of smaller segments that are filmed typically after the audience has gone home, as an economic way of saving money and time. Everything in these episodes. I think it's all canned laughter. Basically, it did didn't There's no audience in any of this. How cheap is it was it for them to do this?

They blow their budget elsewhere and they were like, we just need to We got two more episodes and we got nothing, and they're like, well, we'll just do a bunch of skits, film it without the audience here. From what i've what I can judge from my research, as limited as it is, I think this is something they pre planned. They baked into their season filming schedule. They said, you know, we have this loose framework of an idea that we want to catch as we can these little bits of filming, and then before you know it, they've got enough content for not one, but two episodes. So it must have been pretty cost effective because they do it all the time.

Yeah, we open for this episode. In the garage as again, Tony is excitedly running into the garage just like he did. A page boy. You know, just the extra extra. Here's what tonight's episode is about.

He runs in and he tells the cabvis that he picked up none other than Hervevillachet in his cab. So exciting. He evidently left some publicity for it was in his cab last night. So for the folks listening who may not remember or maybe weren't around, Herve Deloche was a little person who starred alongside Ricardo Montalban in the TV series Fantasy Island. Herve played mister Rourke's assistant Tattoo, who would famously ring the bell and announce the plane the plane when that week's airplane of guest stars would arrive on the island.

Did you watch a Fantasy Island when you were a kid? Father Malone religiously, me too, loved it. Mister Rourke was an evil magician. I didn't really pick up on that until I saw some of the episodes as an adult, because. When he would do battle with other magicians on his island, I.

Don't remember any of those he actually had duels with other magicians. Yeah, man, he had powers and he showed them. Well, I knew he had powers, but the whole notion is everyone every episode was basically a takeoff on the Monkey's paw. Be careful what you wish for, because it's not going to be all it's cracked up to be. It's a great premise for a show, and they keep trying to do it well.

I really like the last I think the last time they tried this was maybe twenty twenty one, and they had a female mister. No, not the movie, not the horror movie. Okay, this was back in twenty twenty one with Rosalind Sanchez as. I think she was meant to be mister Rourke's niece or somehow related to mister Rourke. But they were doing a seat.

They're doing a sequel series, a legacy series. Kind of, but but they stuck very closely to the original premise. I thought it was good. I mean, it's disposable, as frankly, Fantasy is On the original series was disposable, but it was good. I thought it was good.

But anyway, I like her. First reboot with Malcolm McDonald's Barry Sonnenfeld version of Fantasy Island. Oh yeah, I remember that now. Yeah, yeah, it was like straight up Wanka sinister. I think they're going to keep trying till they find something that will stick.

Remember Survey Villas with Brocktune. It was not Brocktoon. It was an actress called Wendy Shawl who sure she was in the burbs. She uh, I think she was a Joe Dante regular. You're telling me there is not another guy who joined the show.

Brocktoon did not join the show. Oh, Chris, thank you, thank you. I didn't know you meant literally Christopher Hewitt, I thought. Yeah, And because the thing is so the show very famously begins with Tattoo ringing the bell when he sees the airplane when the new when they finally fired her of a p hillas shame brought on Christopher Hewitt. He would push a button, he would like, see the plane he pushed, He'd like look at his watch and push a button and then the bell would ring.

And I always thought that was such a cheat. I thought you used the word rock tune as just to catch all because you didn't know the woman's name. But yeah, he was on there, mister Belvedere. Christopher Hewitt did act on Fantasy. Iand too got split into two roles, Wendy Shaalan Christopher Hewitt.

They were on concurrently. Yeah, oh, I didn't know. She'd be out and about with him on in the jeep. And then Christopher Hue would be like to hear the compound like mister, I do all the officious shit. Christopher Hewitt, he did.

This was in the time of TV infomercials when they were really, really popular and prevalent, and he did one for the sandwich Maker that my brothers and I would just we just adored it because no one could sell that the scrumptuousness of something made in this awful sandwich maker. Like Christopher Hewitt. He would say, ooh, sweet ambrosia. It was great. He was so what a delight that guy was.

Herve Belachet is gonna uh. He leaves these pictures in the back of Tony's cab and this is what is the springboard for the rest of these two episodes. Wow light premise, very slight. This is the slightest we've seen some of these pick up episodes in the past. This is probably it's no exaggeration to say this might be the worst of the ones that we've seen and will eventually see.

Louis takes an interest in this story about Herve Villachet and insists on doing. He has his own impression of tattoo and it's it cracks him up to no end. It's basically him saying, deeplain deep playing. But actually, can I just say yeah? The first line he does sounds remarkably like Herve Beloche.

Once he gets to the Deplaine part and everything after it's terrible. And when spoilers when Herve Valanche shows up and he does it for him, also terrible. But there's one the very first thing he says, I went, wow, that's really good. When he says, hey, Buss, how about you Buss that. You know there's something there's something in the tambour, the sort of sandpaper gral he gets right.

Fortunately, the rest of the Cabby's agree that it's a terrible impression at best and offensive at worst. Bobby suggests to Tony that he get in touch with Hervey Viliche to get his pictures back or give his pictures back. Tony knows he's at the Plaza hotel because I think I. Looked him at the Plaza. Oh.

The last couple episodes followed, Malone, you're really going after Tony in a way that you didn't. I'm over Tony now, wow, season three, you better come back strong. I don't know that this was not a good season for Tony. He's got the whole Tony and Brian thing, which really was nowhere. Blame Brian.

I blame Brian for my turning on Tony. Eh fair, that's what I say. Tony, like I said, he goes to call at the phone in the middle of the garage to get to get in touch with Hervey Vilachet. Side note, by the way, we were talking about Bobby his what he was wearing in the last episode. In this episode, he's dressed like a Greaser.

Did you notice this. He's got a blue shirt with the sleeves rolled all the way up to his shoulders. The only thing missing is a pack of Marlboro reds rolled up in the sleeve. Well, he had just come from an audition to get his part back from Grease and they said, just get out there, Conway. Yeah, get out there.

Come on. Tony leaves his number for Villachet to call him back. In the meantime, a curious lacta asks about the show Fantasy Island because they don't have it back in his home country. Oh no, And this puts the Cabbys in a reflective mood. Father Malone, Oh my, doesn't.

It about what their fantasy might be? The kind of action that only happens on sitcoms and pretty much horror anthology movies. What do you dream about? I have the worst night. Matth Tony is the first to volunteer what his fantasy is, but they all think that he dreams of being the world champion boxer.

But it turns out, Father Malone, his fantasy is much different and much worse as it turns out, Bear in mind this. It takes what about fifteen or ten minutes, let's say, to get through this scene. I'm gonna summarize it for it once it felt like longer it did. Tony is in this cab. He picks up Eric Severyde at night.

Now, who is Eric Severide? You asked, do you know who Eric Severiyde was? No, you don't remember Eric severright. Eric Severyde was a real life journalist distinguished journalist. He reported for CBS from nineteen thirty nine, Father Malone to nineteen seventy seven.

He made his name as a World War II correspondent several Rides attending the GOSG, the Gathering of Smart Guys at NYU. In conversation with Severride, Tony wins him over with his simplistic views on war. He suggests the world leaders put on boxing gloves and go a few rounds to settle their differences, and this impresses Severide to no end. He's impressed by Tony's perspective and suggests that Tony would fit right in with the GOSG. Furthermore, Severide wants Tony on his side of the debate.

End of fantasy. That's it. It's being there with a paluka. Pretty much, pretty much, not many laughs to be. Had, not any laughs to be had.

And why is it just happening in the back of a cap. That's his fantasy. That's the limit of his fantasy. Shouldn't he be like giving a lecture or something, or like, you know, attending a lecture and going, no, you're doing that all wrong. You know what I think sometimes?

You know what I would think of in this scenario? HP, Yeah, do you remember the Computer war tennis shoes. With Kurt Russell? Yeah, of course. At one point, Thankster Stanley, I can't believe I'm talking about this.

Dexter Stanley is watching a man cut a diamond from a raw diamond, and the guy has it lined up and he's about to tap it, and Dexter Stanley goes, oh no, no, and he goes and he changes the guy's angle, and then the guy very very furiously goes back to the original thing and he shatters the entire thing and destroys it. That's what I think of when I think of people thinking of smart scenarios. It doesn't involve just having a conversation with a journalist and them going, you really are smart. But maybe it's Tony's limited Is that what I'm supposed to take from this? If we're looking at this logically or semi realistically, I think it's a reflection of Tony's limited imagination.

He's such a peluca, he has such a lack of vision and imagine that this is the best he can come up with. So I'm not surprised by that part of it. I just thought it was dull, and it really didn't. It was a one Joe premise that never goes anywhere. Yeah, to take us down Kurt Russell Disney movie Lane.

But this episode's garbage. It really is bad, and this is one of the worst. I mean, there's not much to recommend here, but this was not a very good vignette within this SEP doesn't bode well for the rest of the episode or episodes two parter. Next up, we have Laca's Fantasy, which is initially it's interrupted by Louis haranguing him about getting back to work. I like that part actually, because he's like, oh, I have a fantasy.

I have a fantasy that all the cabs get fixed. It's like the only true part of the episode. Laca's fantasy is very rote. It's basically that he is the dispatcher. He's Louis.

Effectively, he's wearing the same outfit that Louie wears. He's ruling the garage with an iron fist, and he has several beautiful women in his cage waiting for him. So he hands out the cab assignments. Side note, Father Malone, did you see who the first cab assignment went to? I was so excited I did not I now feel deficient.

The first cabby he announces is none other than Ben Gerretzky, the shop Steward of Sunshine Cab. Oh my god, back from the dead. Yeah, well this is a fantasy. This is a fantasy, so I can't get that excited. But someone actually there.

There was an actor portraying Ben Gerretzky. I was delighted the ghost of Ben Garretsky. This is what I'm saying. These are fantasy sequences, and they just keep giving us mundane shit, like now Lacka is dressed like Louis and vice versa. Okay, there was there's not a lot of white white man's burden with John Travolta, where it was like what if black people where they ruling class and white people were the minority, And we'll change nothing at all.

Everything will be exactly the same. It's just we'll change that one thing. No, that's not how it would work. They're going for the most basic, the most obvious, sort of fantasies. In some cases, this is this one that there's nothing creative about it at all.

Laca just got done getting hassled by Louie, so of course his fantasy is, well, I'll be Louie and I will take it out on Louie Louie is effectively Laka here he's wearing the coveralls, he's the mechanic. He fails to repair Tony's cab. Laka angrily calls for him to be basically put before a firing squad, and there's a one two three. The firing squad executes him, but we cut back to him getting still hassled by Louie. End of fantasy, cut to commercial.

The one bit I liked is Alex saying he deserves the last cigarette, and then he puts a cigarette in mouth and he goes he doesn't smoke. I see, I would normally like that too, but but it's so it's played so exaggerated. Oh my god, That's what I liked about it, because this is your fantasy and a firing squad just came in and it's like, yeah, get cuckoo, Like, I don't understand why they weren't going nuts in this episode, saying too, what is your fantasy? First of all? If these are these people's actual fantasies, HP, then I'm gonna stop watching this show because these characters don't deserve my time.

We cut back from commercial. Tony gets a callback from herve villa Schet. After some conversation, Hervey says he's going to come down to the garage personally to get the pictures. He's a man of the people, Father Malone. He's not some hyphalutin TV actor.

You know, give him credit. Hey, what station is Fantasy Island up? I think they were on ABC. Of course, of course Fantasy Island was Yeah. Yeah.

Louis gets upset that Banta didn't isn't going to charge or we'd for the pictures. But anyway, Louis insists he's going to do his awful impression for Harvey Lachet, much to the rest of the Cabby's chagrin. The Cabby's appreciate how down to earth Hervey is coming down to the garage and all. Bobby insists that that's the way he's going to be when he hits it big, and we cut to Bobby's fantasy. Let's get into this Father Malone.

Uh, you can't see this, folks, Father Malone. It's as if Father Malone just got a migraine. He just got the look on his face like, oh, we're going to get into this. So we cut to Marios where there's a shot of a TV and the TV announces a performance by the quote famous singer Bobby Wheeler. It's the famous singer Bobby Wheeler.

You know how they introduce people and showbiz. Of course, what transpires is footage of Conaway singing a song from his album. This is an actual song on his solo album called City Boy, while stock audience footage from a big concert is cut in to make it look like he's performed. It's all very unbelievable, and you know, it doesn't look good, doesn't look realistic. And they keep cutting to Marios where the Martian Manhunter is front and center dancing to this.

Did you notice that, No, Carl Lumley, who has been the voice of Martian Manhunter for Justice League on all these years and was just recently on Falcon in the Winter Soldier Isaiah it was his last name, the character who was also given the Super Soldier serum but kept under wraps by the United States government. That Carl Lumley. He's in fucking Marios watching that TV and dancing. By dancing, I mean kind of bouncing up and down. I didn't notice that it was Carl Lumley.

I remember him from the Falcon in the Winter Soldier. He's actually in the new Captain American movie. He's going to be in that as well. Well, you can see him here first, folks. So yeah, there's a crowd of people in Marios.

I should mention that they're all watching this performance and they couldn't be more delighted or more into the performance than they are. To your point, this guy's dancing around herky jerky, everyone's enjoying it. Wait, this was a song that Jeff Conaway was actually putting out m because I thought this was a song that they just did on the show for him for this sequence. It's terrible. This was an actual single put out by the actual person, Jeff Conaway.

But it's terrible shocking. But you have to see the visual of Conaway up there performing. He's head to toe and this silver, sparkling outfit. It's not a jumpsuit because there's a shirt and there's pants, but they're both silver and sparkling and just setting off reflections everywhere. He's quite the sight, very silver.

It looks like something Elvis might have worn. Silver. LeMay, exactly the crowd, as you said, in Marios, they're all clamoring for this performance, except for one bummy looking guy who's face down at the bar, and as he picks up his face it comes out of his stupor and looks at the TV. It's Louie. It's this alternate version of Louie where he has he's gone to seed.

He looks like a hobo. He's got this rumpled hat and jacket. He just looks a mess. Right five o'clock shadow, stumble bum Louis exactly. He's, like I said, he's roused from his stupor by the performance on TV.

And he recognizes Wheeler and another barfly who's actually very mean to Louie through this whole sequence. He tells him. He's like, well, of course it's Jef. Of course it's Bobby Wheeler. This is the seventh time they've run the spec which is interesting in and of itself.

By the way, this guy the sort of cruel barfly. You probably didn't notice this. He had the largest Italian horn around his neck that I've ever seen. This thing was like three inches long. I've never seen a bigger Italian horn than this.

That you notice that? No, But then I grew up over there. Done bottom, Louis starts to drunkenly tell the other patrons he knew Wheeler, he used to work for him. What is kind of stunning about this whole thing, Father Malone, It goes from fantasy to nightmare because through this whole sequence, this song just plays and plays and plays. It's not as if they just kind of cut in and it's one verse and then you have the rest of the scene play out.

This song is running NonStop through the hole, so it's effectively like the four or five minutes for the scene, this song never stops. Well, it's, as Stephen King said, hell is repetition pretty much. Just at that point, the real Bobby Wheeler comes waltzing into Marios. It looks like he's wearing Adam Sandler's Opera Man costume. It's a tuxedo, but he's got like it's like a it's not just a tuxedo.

It's a little frilly and he has like a cape with red on the underside of it. That it's totally opera man. Yeah. I didn't make that connection. I just thought he was trying to be stylish, seventies stylish.

But now the connection is evident. Yeah, watch it again, it's totally this again. No, the barflies go nuts when Wheeler walks in and Louis tells them drunkenly, he'll prove that he knows Bobby, but no one believes from this cruel guy with the Italian horn is just He dismisses him out right. Bobby takes Louis aside and tells him he'll cost them a buck to tell people that he knows Louie. Oh, sweet revenge twice now, sweet revenge.

My fantasies, they all involve everyone here. It all involves torturing Louie. Louie pays up. This is like his last dollar. He's got to retrieve it from his sock.

It's rolled up and it's one dollar that he has left to his name, and he gives it to Wheeler, who promptly insists that he's never saw this guy before, and he proceeds to buy drinks. Bobby buys drinks for the rest of the bar, leaving the bum Louie on the outside looking in. Louis drinks a leftover beer as city Boy continues to play end of fantasy. Everybody. The only thing that I found a little chilling about this little a little is through all of this, through Louie insisting that he knows Bobby and like the sadness of his situation.

There's no laughter, there's no canned laughter, there's no indication that we should find this funny in the least. I found it actually rather depressing to see Louis in this state and to see how cruelly, no matter how much of a monster he might have been in the regular timeline, let's say, they're so cruel to him, father Malone, and it's so sad. That was my takeaway. What was your takeaway? Hp Over?

On my show Midnight Viewing, we do horror anthologies, and this segment of this episode, which this is an anthology by the way, Yeah, this particular segment really reminded me of Night Gallery, because this is Bobby's fantasy, right, in effect, his version of heaven. His version of heaven is Louise's hell, which is a metaphysical conundrum that this show does not deserve to bring up, at least not this episode. It's a little heavy for such a light sitcom. I don't know. There was something about it that didn't sit well with me, and I was rather chilled by it.

So, yeah, I think just because it's two in a row, now where the someone's greatest fantasy is about punching down on Louie. And I know Louis sucks. You know, if you had to deal with Louie, it would be awful. But if somebody said to me or you or whoever, what is your greatest fantasy? If that character's fantasy is just revenge and petty revenge at that, these fantasies are making me, like our characters less.

They should strike this entire both episodes. It's very petty. Their notion of fantasy is a very negative pointed situation. I was making a Banta like for his limited fantasy. At least it's like him making something of himself, like you know.

We cut back to the garage and Jim shuffles in, and then the Cavvies of course ask him about his fantasy, and we cut to Jim's fantasy. He's in his can department, the one that we loved with all the doors on one side of the apartment, the one where his horse Gary died, and he's laying there just doing whatever Jim does, and all of a sudden his windows fly open and a giant flying saucer comes down to his apartment through the wind. It doesn't well, it's we're meant to think it's terrible effects. It's basically just. God, it's a couple of flocks with some shit glued onto it that they just lowered down outside with some like smoke pouring out of it and blinking lights.

They didn't even bother to get search lights and stuff to blast in through the windows and give us some idea that this might be real in any way, shape or form. It's just, Hey, we're sitting on a set watching another set get lowered down. We're meant to believe that this is an alien coming to visit Jim, and this creepy, disembodied voice announces that they're aliens and they want Jim to come back with them to their world. They say they've been watching Jim and know him well. They love him for who he is and understand him.

By the way side, note, you know who did the voice of the alien? Was it Elaine? No? No, it wasn't and I don't know and that was a guess. It was Danny DeVito.

Oh nice. Yeah. They put like a flange or something on his voice to make it a little disembodied. They lay this thing on him. They say they love him, they know all these good qualities that he has, and they want him to come back to their home planet.

And then a portal opens, Jim climbs in says something like, you guys look really weird, and then he takes off and that's the end of his fantasy. Now one more side note on this very personal side note on this episode. On this vignette, a seven year old HP saw this scene when it was originally broadcast fought him alone. Now, I was not watching Taxi at this point. I missed the beginning of this episode, so I did not know that this was the Cabby's fantasies, that this was not really happening.

So a seven year old me watched Jim get sucked into a UFO and I thought, this really happened on the show. I was surprised the following week when Jim was back, like I thought, that's what happened on this show. Of course, he just gets taken away by aliens. That was kind kind of freaked me out as a kid. I liked that even though Jim comes back and then all resets in your mind from then on Taxi.

In the Taxi universe, aliens are a definite thing. I just thought it was kind of freaky because there was really very little audience feedback. There was all canned laughter, but a lot of this is played without laughter as the aliens are talking about how much they loved Jim and how meaningful his existence is to them. It's beautiful on the one hand that these aliens love him for who he is, but it's very creepy and scary a little bit to a seven year old kid watching this. So I still have a little shadow of that impression that I had watching it some forty some odd years ago.

I can't shake that even now. It's weird. We're back to the garage and now a tuxedoed Herve villashe enters. Hey, it's tattoo everybody. He introduces himself to Banta and then Banta introduces him around.

He gives Banta, gives him the pictures back, and of course Louis does his bad impression. Herve tolerates it politely but then confides in Alex that it stinks. End of part one. That's the end of the first episode, everybody. My favorite part of the two part episode is the female narrator who comes on and says there's going to be more fantasies in the next episode.

In the second episode, after a quick recap of the previous episode, we're back to the garage. Now it's Alex's turn to reveal his fantasy. And now this is where it gets creepy. This gets gets downright creepy. Fa them alone because well.

You know why it's creepy because it's his fantasy. Well, but it's his is the only one that gets sexual. That's what's creepy for me watching this, because Bantas is about his intelligence. Oh no, no, no, I don't have a problem with somebody. If you look, if somebody said to me, hey, what's your fantasy, HB, there's a good chance, if you ask me on a good day, that it's going to be a sexual one in nature.

So I don't blame him for that. I blame him for the clumsy, fucking setup to get there. And then his greatest fantasy ends up being a fucking vaudeville joke. Well we'll get to that. But you don't think it's creepy that they're all sitting there hanging on his every word as he's talking about a schoolboy sexual fantasy.

In front of the whole garage. That's profoundly creepy. I love that. That's great. I thought it was very creepy.

So Alex admits to the assembled cabbies that he finds it really difficult fantasize for maybe he's too pragmatic. He just can't. Something always gets in the way of him coming up with these fantasies. He's tried by a man who can only feel when he's falling out of an airplane. So it's like the uh Neil Diamond behind the Music with Will Ferrow where he killed a hitchhiker to get an erections exactly.

He says he's tried, but something always goes wrong somehow. Now we cut to his fantasy. He's driving a cab at night and he picks up a radiant, gorgeous Priscilla Barnes. Who is Priscilla Barnes? Anybody know Priscilla Barnes.

Of course, she was brought in as one of the replacements for Suzanne Summers on Gree's company. Yeah, when she got in the cabin, he said, where are you going? I expected her to sit take her to the Regal Beagle in Santa Monica. California place. She was also in.

She was in mal Rats. She had a little cameo there. She starts coming on to Alex almost immediately, and it seems like it's going pretty well, but then he hits his first snag where she admits to Alex that she's married, and then we cut back to the garage. Alex snaps out of his fantasy. The cabby's this is again, this is creepy.

The cabbys are encouraging him to give it another shot. They're effectively saying, you know what, you're not trying hard enough to come up with this wet dream. Let us help you come up with something sexual that will satisfy you. Alex. You don't find that completely creepy.

Father alone, I find the entire set of absolutely ridiculous. It is just this notion that he can't fantasize what is happening here on Taxi HP. It now feels like we got time to kill y'all and we all want to go on vacation. What do we do here? This particular fantasy is a bit of a reach, which is saying something because they're all pretty bad.

So we cut back to his fantasy and he is course corrected. Now she admits that she lied about being so he wouldn't come on to her. There is a really creepy part in this segment, actually, but we'll get to. It well at the very end, you mean, like the whole the climax of it. No, not even the joke, not even the payoff of that.

It's before. I can't wait to hear what you're referring to. But anyway, she they continue to talk and she's back into it. She's coming on to Alex. Alex asks her back to his apartment.

They're so distracted with each other with these amorous thoughts that he gets into a car accident and that breaks the spell again. Back to the garage, back to the drawing board for Alex. Now Bobby now here again Bobby. Now it's almost like Bobby is giving him hypnosis to try and get him into the headspace of how to properly fantasize. He keeps advising Alex, will you know, just let go or you know, anything is possible.

Just so gross, man, so gross. You don't understand that this was this doubled as the wrap around for a porn that was very popular at the time, and. It feels like it. Forty seconds straight, Yeah, it. Does feel like it.

We cut back. Alex and Tawny are now in a fantasy version of Alex's apartment. They're laying by the fire, they're nuzzling, They're getting romantic. Turns out, they make the point of saying, oh, it's a good thing. That was just a minor fender bender, so again having.

To correct anything in his fantasies. They're his at this. I don't know, I don't know, but anyway, they're getting all hot and heavy, and as they're starting to u in happy days parlance, they're necking. They're literally necking. Tawny.

The woman mentionedt me dangerfield joke overall, you know what I mean, Like, you can't even in my fantasies. I'm not even good, you know, like in my fantasies, my wife is now and somebody else. Like that's what this feels like. It's true. It's true.

Tawny mentions how warm and nice Alex is and it reminds her of her favorite uncle when she was little, and he was also. Is going ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, it turns out her uncle was named Alex, and the uncle would take her out for ice cream and oh, it turns out that Alex with a cherry on top of that. It is a vaudeville climax to the joke. But it's so fucking creepy, Like how he would come up with that and his own mind is it boggles me.

It boggles my mind to think how his mind works. That is the finale of his fantasy, that he is nuzzling his long lost niece. Now, what was the The problem with that whole segment is as they're coming to this conclusion where they're going back and forth and she's telling facts about her young life, Rieger has nuzzled up behind her. He basically has a fistful of fistful of hair in each hand and he's basically jammed his nose into her. He's just like sniff and sniffing and sniffing like that didn't bother you.

But like the weirdo fantasy, which means nothing, that is what he's fantasizing about. He needs to be on the scalp of whoever he's gonna fuck. It's really weird. Look, that was plenty creepy. You can't follow this with any sort of logic because it just falls apart, Like, why can't Alex have a normal I mean, he's a man in his forties, right, he hasn't learned how to properly fantasize about a woman by now doesn't make any sense.

This man who a few episodes ago was jumping into boxing rings and jumping out of airplanes and can't find enough thrills, can't fantasize something more than I want to fuck my niece accidentally. Whoops. It suggests some darkness in Alex that maybe should go unexplored. So now, hey, it's Louis's turn to give up his fantasy. And this was not good.

It's the it's a great ship. It is it's the Great Depression, and Louis is the last rich man in the country. He owns the cab company. The rest of the cabbys are all destitute. They're dressed in rags and tattered clothes, while Louis is a fat cat with a cigar and a chapeau.

And that was that what they call it? Oh, I didn't know that. Louis goes back to his mansion where a neglige wearing Elaine is waiting as his wife. Okay, here's where the episode actually gets good. Can I just say, and you know what, I'm a pig got you got it?

But she she's in the this skin tight thing, this neglige thing. It's amazing. Gorgeous. You were complaining about the ill fitting clothes in the last episode. And this makes more than makes it for ye oh boy doesn't.

And because because Mari Luhnna is a good actress and realizes that this is like a fantasy thing, she's playing what she thinks Louie would want of her, so she doesn't walk at all. She basically just struts everywhere. And it's not only really funny, it's really fucking sexy. Yeah, she tells Louie to reconsider firing you know who. But Louie, this all makes no sense, Louis is what happens here?

This is bizarre. I thought maybe Jim Jim ends up being his his his butler and he has to fire Jim and I don't know, something weird, But Elaine sends in this mystery character who is going to be fired, and it's Lassie the dog. She is credited as Lassie, one of them, one of the Lassies, but very it has to be said, very well trained because Louie. Louis basically insists, like she tells, Louie tells this dog that she's not cutting it anymore. She's not popular, She's not as popular as Benji or Snoopy, and she for that reason, she's got to go.

Now. Like I said, there's some great like the dog begs not to be fired. It does tricks and it's a marvel. I love a good dog trick. But Louis ends up firing the dog and it leaves and Louise fantasy is over.

That's literally it for Louise fantasy. You remember in the Great Depression when Lassie was no longer cutting it because Benji was more popular. Benji was huge. We forget that now. I know.

I'm saying his fantasy takes place in nineteen thirty two. Man. Yeah, Well, from one perspective, Louise fantasy kind of makes sense because Louie it's all about Louis being powerful, right, being the most powerful man in the country. But I don't know they felt the need to bring in a trained dog, like bring in one of the actual Lassies. It all is unless somebody said, hey, you.

Know, what's the revival going on at the time, with ABC trying to get Lassie back as a series. Maybe you know what I. Mean, that would make the most sense. I can't tell you if that's the case, but it was all very confusing as a viewer. Finally, it's time for Elaine's fantasy, and as we mentioned up top, it's the best of the bunch.

It's a low bar to get over, but it is pretty good. Surprisingly, though Fallo Malone, it does not involve Tom selleck I was convinced that it should involve her mystery cab Fair, remember the one that got away. I'm glad he's not here because he's pretty. So for her fantasy, we cut. The garage is empty except for the Cabby's and they're all bored.

They don't want to play cards, and all of a sudden, for no reason at all, A Lane starts to sing the Lullaby of Broadway, which is from which is from what movie? What famous movie? Faugh them alone, the gold Diggers of nineteen thirty three. Our listeners may not be aware you've done a YouTube video on that very movie, have you not? Oh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I showed it. I have forgotten I had done it, actually, but yes, gold Diggers Are thirty three. It is not my favorite movie of that period, but it's probably the most famous period, well the most famous movie from that period of musical. So Elaine breaks into the song and it is Mary lou Henner singing the song. It's all done very Broadway style.

The scene eventually, in fact, blossoms into a full on Broadway style production where they're all singing and dancing with Elane, including Jim and Louie come out. Eventually they walk behind the phone pillar and they do this little special effect where they emerge on the other side and they're all wearing tuxedos and canes and top hats and all that kind of stuff. There's color lighting all around framing the whole garage, almost like Christmas lights that are tracking and moving as they're singing the song. And then from up above mister Mackenzie's office, Elaine comes down and what is Elaine wearing? Bottom alone fucking textedo man without pants and and it's open in the front so we get cleavage as well.

It's a dream come true, is what it is here at the end of this episode. It is a fantasy borrow. Finally, it's it's our fantasy. It's it's the male fantasy of what what should go on? But what what's what's what's wonderful about this?

Is? Now we actually do have like that. This is this is a fantasy kind of in the purest sense, where it's not about her winning something or getting something or achieving something. It's literally just her musing to herself how fun it would be to sing this song with all of her friends. And that's what we get.

It's a and it's a wondered behold. I mean, they're all some of them aren't trained dancers, and it's obviously, but that's part of the charm. I've even in the Lovies book, Christopher Lloyd talks about how much fun he had doing this because of his character he could just kind of schlep his way through it and it would work because it's Jim. Yeah. And it does, and it works beautifully.

There's choreography, there's canned applause at various points. That is all very broadway, the kapper of it all. My favorite part during it is as they're winding up and they all start interacting more and they have to pick her up and turn her and set her down and stuff. You can hear Marrilu Hener shouting the directions to them, you can you pick me up all right, pay me careful, okay, turn me around, okay, let me down. It's great because it's almost like versimilitude for the for her fantasy, because it's as if she's in this fantasy, but she still has to make sure that everybody else can hold up their end of the fantasy.

Right, yeah, I wouldn't trust them a. Yeah, she'd even like she's like, okay, now train and they cut to a dance step that she does with everybody. At the end of it all, Loka comes out looking like Baby New Year. He has two sparklers and a top hat. And that's the grand finale of this whole fantasy.

And as I said, as everybody looks like they're having such a blast with it that you, as a viewer, are taken because it's a nothing. There's nothing of any real lasting value here. There's nothing that's gonna make an impact. But it's so much fun to watch. It's great to see them all because you get the sense that they knew that this was the end of the season and maybe this was part of the wrap up, so they're just having fun with it, and I had fun watching it.

Anyway. That is the final Fantasy. End of Fantasy and end of episode. By the way, my final side note on this episode, father alone, this is only one of two episodes of Taxi to ever forego Bob James's outro music. We usually they cut to the end credits and they play a little variation of Angela.

You don't get this here. What you get is a reprise of La lah Byah of Broadway as they go through the credits. So well, they all can spend the money to record it. God damn it. This is true.

That, by the way, that the other episode that does not feature his outro music is going to happen next season, so look forward to that. So that that is the end of Fantasy Borrow Parts one and two. Now we're going to talk about yellow lights, Father Malone. What does a yellow light mean? Reminder, this is going to be scored on a scale of one to five yellow lights, one being the worst Taxi episode, five being the best Taxi episode, Father Malone.

Our custom is to throw it to you first. So what do you give Fantasy Borrow Parts one and two? I give it here at the end of season three two Season two. Here at the end of season two, two yellow lights for this episode, not in any way for part one. Instead, even with the baffling Alex fantasy, we get skin tight, negligee and then tuxedo.

Therefore two stars or two yellow lights. So it's all about Mary Lou Henner's wardrobe choices for you in this second episode. That's it. That's it, and that's fair. She looks great.

I too, gave it to yellow lights. It's a very thin premise to hang a two part episode on, and most of the vignettes, as I said, are terrible, but Elaine's sequence redeems it to a degree, and it's certainly worth the extra yellow light. So I give it two. You give it too as well. So that's gonna do it for this episode of Night Mister Walters, and in fact, that's going to do it for this season of Night Mister Walters, at least for the time being.

Father Malone, where can the folks find you? When you're not clocked into the garage? You can find me over at midnight viewing. That is the twice a week show what I do with the weirding Way Media Network. I also do a if you can get and I've got a Patreon show Patreon dot com slash Father Malone where you can hear everything I do early in commercial free.

But we also do a Patreon only show called Cable Box Theater that HP here and I do. We take a look at the filmed Broadway productions that they would show on HBO and Showtime in the late seventies and early eighties when there wasn't enough programming to go around, not even musicals like regular old drama. As is my wants, I would encourage all the listeners to check out the Weekly Roundup from Father Malone. Father Malone produces a lot of content, so his Patreon is a great, great buy for all the content you get and all the exclusive content you get, it's a great deal. But I love the Weekly Roundup.

It's a great capsule view of the week things coming out, new movies, new things on streaming, and Father Malone gives his take on all this stuff and it's a great, great thing to look forward to every week. I look forward to. It, so check that out. Yes, it's a lot of fun and I think everyone should check it out. So for myself, you can also find me here and there on the weirding Way Network.

I do a I've sort of taken over the Noise Junkies Show podcast. It's some music podcasts, as you might guess from the name, having fun with that. I'm also an occasional guest on the Culture Cast with Christashu and I also have a band campsite hpmusicplace dot bandcamp dot com. And as I've mentioned previously, I have a new album I've just produced and put out on that platform, very happy. It's called Wired and Waiting.

Please check that out. It's if you like eighties soundtrack type music of bad action movies, things of that nature. Check it out. There's some other stuff on there, but very proud of it. Please give it a listen.

It's free after all. Anyway, Thanks again for listening. Please feel free to subscribe to this podcast, write a review, or rate us. We'd love to hear from you in any way you see fit so for myself and for Father Malone. Thanks again for listening this whole season of season two, and we look forward to more fun in Shenanigans with season three.

Look for that soon. Otherwise, take care, We'll talk to you soon. Ni