115: Silk Stalkings in Space

Falling Program is a proud member of the Palava family of podcasts. Check out all the shows over at palava.com. That's P-A-L-A-V-A dot com. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised.

Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. Provide more cooling in the containment chamber. To your citizens, we're moving up. Infrared alert. Infrared alert.

Infrared alert. Infrared alert. What's up? Welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian.

I'm Greg. And once again, we're doing a little broken up version of the family this week. People have lots of things to do. A lot of lives. Pinning any of them down is impossible. and Misty just can't stand to see us for two weeks in a row.

So, you know, we're going to see her next week. We don't want to ruin things this week. So she said, what'd she say? I don't want to hang out with those losers again. Is that what it was?

I think that's every week. Okay. So yeah, we, we thought we would throw a, a movie viewing party up for ourselves here. So we'll kick things off with the geek week. Um, I myself, and this is sort of, uh, I guess been going on for at least a couple of months, maybe when I saw the very first one, but I kind of got into it a little more in the last few weeks.

I've been watching Shameless. Oh. I don't know how familiar you are with it. Not watched it, but I know of it. Yeah, they kind of run the promos on stuff online, and I think maybe it's even crossed over on legitimate channels.

Not too many promos, because most of them they can't show on regular. It is on Showtime, so... Yeah, I kind of was interested going in just because it's a TV show, but it bothered to get William H. Macy, which seems very removed from normal television. And even that first promo I saw for it, I was like, this is not...

I mean, this is a very unusual family as far as sitcom families, which this is far from a sitcom. It's not at all. But, I mean, you don't used to regular network channel family shows anymore. Even for the more racy ones, this one goes. Far beyond that.

So, yeah, I ended up seeing the very first one, I think, before it even premiered. They did, like, a sneak preview after something and was really impressed with it and then kind of just lost when it was on into the last few weeks and then have been trying to catch up because they're rerunning some of them. And they're coming to the end of the season, and it's just a great show. Like, it really is just amazing how well written it is. All the performances and a good portion of them are kids, which usually that's trouble.

I mean, I think it's six. Kids in this family or something like it. At least I still can't. I'm trying to figure out what at least one of the other ones. But I think there's, you know, five or six younger.

Like there's a good five or so that are probably under 18. So it's yeah, it's a ton of little kids acting. And yet that's where most of the foul language comes from. And in some, well, in a lot of cases, the sex as well. So it's a racy show.

Yeah. It's a, yeah, it's, it's, there's a lot of, um, weird stuff going on and most of them are underage. So it's, it's, Why do you like Knott's? Because it's ten times better written than anything else on television. And it's realistic.

That's what I was going to say. It's a very unusual family for television. Truth is, probably a good portion of the families out in the world are really close to this. Granted, this isn't like your squeaky clean two and a half kids in a dog in the yard kind of family. This is your welfare family.

This is the Family with six kids, living in one house, fighting constantly, dad's getting hauled away by the police, like Cops that was on earlier when you came in. Or a realistic version of My Name is Earl. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty close to that. If that was done a little more straight, I mean, granted, it's certainly got its moments of humor. It realizes how ridiculous some of these situations are and definitely gets a laugh out of it when it's needed.

But it's still, for the most part, a drama and... kind of like sad at times how like realistic it is and just what's going on in these families and what these kids have to deal with. So, I mean, it's, it's really impressive on that level. And in my usual way of liking things, there's always that extra little incentive. I've also developed a vicious crush on Emmy Rossum is the female lead. Would I know her from anything?

Well, I found that out because that's about the only, well, one of the other things I've watched in the last few weeks. I went in and she's the oldest of the kids, basically. She's the older one that's taking care of all the little kids. Basically, because dad is William H. Macy and a fucking drunk and is the worst father ever.

So, yeah, she's basically taking care of this entire family. So, yeah, then I'm sitting here that first episode. I'm just like, man, she is really good. Like just acting wise in general, she's really good. And we're trying to figure out what she's from.

And she's been in a couple other things. She's been in decent stuff on TV. But then I went back and looked at her filmography. And she's the lead in the more recent version of Phantom of the Opera that they made. Oh, really?

Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like, damn it, I was always kind of on the fence with that one anyway because I like the story. I even like the music involved in that version as much as I don't like musicals. That's one of the few that I think they did something interesting with.

And so I was like, all right, that kind of pushes it over the edge. I'm going to have to watch it. So I did end up watching that. I won't go too far into that because I would be up for watching that for an episode. I don't know that anybody else would be on board, but I ended up having a very different reaction than I expected.

I went in with a lot of weird preconceived notions. It kind of shattered all of them. Wow. And I'm not even like. I don't know.

I still don't know 100% what I think of it. So I think it would be interesting to discuss. So I might leave that one alone. But that's probably the most high-profile thing is she is the, I mean, she's Christine. She's the female lead in that entire movie.

So that was several years ago, too. So for her to be thrown a project that huge when she was still pretty young, that's impressive, too. Good for her. Yeah, definitely. She's impressive as an actress.

And there's something just ridiculously hot about her. But no, I have to say that because it's, it's, it's not like, because that's the thing. They do little promos and she's all fixed up or I'll see her at award shows and then stuff. And like, she looks hot, like normal girls do on the show. She's like, so like normal girl.

Like she is so stripped down, no makeup. Usually we're in a wife beater. I mean, it's like the most unglamorous version of a girl ever. And somehow she's hotter like that. Like there's something, I don't understand it, but god damn she's hot on that show.

What's that say about you? It does. Like the more I looked at it. Well, actually it doesn't surprise me because if I look back at all the girls I've liked, starting from, you know, As a very young child, they weren't really girly girls. It was, you know, my early ones were tomboy kind of girls on TV.

You know, the one that was always out playing baseball. And I'm like, she's cool. I like that girl. And then as time's gone on, they've just been like very unconventional girls. You know, they've always been girl next door kind of girls.

You know, they've never been the big glamorous girly girl. It's always been very normal girls. So it doesn't really surprise me. I always, I think. I know what you're getting at, because they're always the ones where there's something wrong with them.

Well, this one, she definitely fits the bill. Not personally, no offense to Emmy, but as a character, oh my God, there's 400 things wrong with her every day of the week. Not necessarily the actress, but the person, I can't talk tonight, the character they're playing. Yes. If there's something wrong with them, you know, a flaw, they're more attractive.

It's like that Juliette Lewis thing where sometimes, you know, she's... Not when she's completely fucked up. And not when she's... But when she's just a kind of... When she's just a little quirky.

She's just too quirky most of the time. But there's times where she plays roles where she's just off of normal. That's when she's her most attractive. Yeah. Well, this one, I mean, yeah, she works across the board.

I mean, it's fine if you fix her up because I've seen plenty of pictures of her where I'm. Like, damn, she's gorgeous. But it's funny how much it works when she's just completely stripped down, total unglamorous. It works a little better. You know, Mellencamp's ex-wife, the model, I forget it. erwin is that her name that's what i was trying to think i think it is i worked at.

A bookstore once and of course she's an extremely beautiful woman this was in bloomington indiana and one morning sleeping morning she um this was a bookstore that had a lot of magazines and art magazines and jewelry. And just arts and crafts kind of stuff weird stuff magazine. Specifically. It was the largest distributor of magazines in Indiana. But anyway, she came in.

I had no idea it was her. Hair in a ponytail, no makeup on, sweatpants and a t-shirt on. And I didn't know it was her. And I was like, this is a beautiful woman. This is a.

And then I found out who it was. And she was actually more beautiful dressed down than she was dressed up. And then. And then, you know, come to find out, yeah, of course, she's a knockout. And then on top of that, she was one of the nicest customers we'd ever had.

That's because it was a college town full of douchebags. Right. You're right. It is full of douchebags. And I'm not saying this as, you know, yay for her or sort of anything like that, but I was...

Very impressed with how down to earth, and that she was willing to go out herself in sweatpants and a t-shirt. I'm sure married to him and her having her own people, probably. I mean, she could have very easily sent someone. I also worked there a few years later. I worked at a restaurant that they would come and we would put them kind of in a corner.

It was in a little lounge area and they would eat. She would eat and he would just sit and smoke. And she would be done up nice, but... Nothing like when she was in her sweatpants. I'm telling you, there's something to that.

And I'm not saying I like sweatpants, but, you know, dressed down. Dressed down, yeah. I think it's one of those, and maybe it's just the type of guy that you have to be to appreciate that. Or maybe I think there's also something to... If you look good at that level, you're always going to look good.

Where there's women who can fix themselves up, and they do clean up nice, but really in the real world. You're just like, I have no interest in that. Whereas if you see somebody completely stripped down like that, and you're still just completely in love with them, then that's it. It's like don't waste your time anywhere else. That's where you need to be.

Now that we're talking about beauty instead of movies, but you know. Hey, this is entertainment related. There you go. Unless, of course, you can get me to actually come over here. I'll give her a call.

And I think your Irwin girl, they're not together anymore. So if you can get a hold of her. I can't imagine. Was it Meg Ryan that he's with now? Is it?

Oh, God. I think he's with Meg Ryan. That's a major step down. Especially on this show. She will get no love.

Right. I like her probably a little more than anybody, and that's not saying much. She was cute as hell in Top Gun. Wow. That's going back a ways.

That's going back a ways. She was drunk most of that movie, I think. Or at least she acted like it. She wasn't in it very often. Yeah, that too.

Very small, not a screen time. So yeah, I've watched quite a few episodes of Shameless in the last few weeks. So if you haven't seen it, if you have access to that channel, or at some point, I'm assuming they'll put them all on Netflix or something, it's definitely worth watching. It's pretty impressively put together. What have you done?

What have I done? You can put a big I watch Netflix across my brain, across my forehead. I came to Netflix... Fairly recently, I suppose, because I hadn't seen it and I keep my eyes out for stuff, but The Thing was on Netflix. Like the remake?

This is the. John Carpenter? John Carpenter, 1981, The Thing, yeah. That's all I need to hear, because, yeah, I. If you want to go ahead, but I'm just, I don't pick favorite movies.

But that could very easily be in the top 10 of most awesome fucking movies ever. Well, I show you, and it's been a while since I've seen it, probably over 10 years, and I loved it. It's one of the best suspense movies, you know, of all time. And you have to lump it in with the, to me, the stranded in space sci-fi movies, because that's really what they are. They're...

There's some place that nobody's going to help them. The elements, they have no way out. They're stuck. It's just one of those isolation situations, like that type of screenplay, which, I mean, really, you can set those anywhere. Anywhere.

Space definitely is the easiest because you can very easily be cut off from everyone. But, yeah, it's... And as I was turning it on, my wife's never seen it. She's not that kind of a movie-goer. And she'll watch television.

She'll be working on a computer and look up while I'm... little Greg's watching her films on Netflix. And, um, and I said, you know, this one's, she said, well, why do you like this necessarily? And this is as it was coming on. I said, well, first of all, the cast is fantastic in this movie. Um, and the setting, I just really enjoyed the setting.

Um, And, you know, the special effects were great. When I was a kid. They're still good. Like, that's the thing. I mean, I can go back and look at a lot of stuff in the 80s and look at how bad the special effects are.

And I adjust for time. I realize I don't even get very harsh as far as being a critic of that because I know things were very different then. And truthfully, I kind of like those practical effects better most of the time. Right. But that one still stands out.

Like, it's rare that there's anything in that that's not like, wow, that still looks fucking amazing. Right. How many years later? And, you know, I even said to her, I said, well, this is, she said, well, this is going to be pretty gory. You know, we have to edit just in case the children walk out and get a drink of water or.

Something late at night. And she said, she said, is this one, is this one real gory or a lot of nasty deaths? And I said, you know, it's, and I don't know why I even said it. I said, it's a lot more cerebral and less, and less gore. And then as I get into it, I was like, oh my God.

This really is horrific. It's hit and miss. It's like it's key scenes. It's like the kids could walk out for a good 40 minute stretch and be fine. But you hit those like.

Two scenes along the way, it's like, yeah, you're screwed. Or the, you know, what is it, the Norwegians? Is that who they are? Yeah, the Norwegians. You know, the doctor that they come across.

If the kids walk out at that point, holy God, that's traumatic to see. This is probably about the time I watched it. So this explains everything. Yeah. I watched it very young and loved it then, too.

Oh, no, it's a fantastic movie. And again, to me, the pace of the whole thing is just fantastic. I just had a ball of a time. I wanted to start it over right when I was done. Yeah, I mean, it is one of the few that just is still amazing.

Like, it holds up. It's funny, the only thing that really dates it is that computer thing. watching him on that watching him play chess on that is so laughable now it's like that and the giant headphones the dude's wearing yeah yeah it's like other than the little technological things like it is still just fucking flawless as a movie it really. Is right right yeah yeah Yeah, it's a good movie. I don't even know what else to say about it other than if you haven't seen it, you have to see it. If you haven't seen it, I feel bad for you.

If you have seen it, go watch it again because it's that damn good. And again, there's that whole thing of the people that, oh my gosh, you haven't seen that. Well, to me, that's not... How dare you not have seen that? You've got to go watch it now.

I'm so excited for you. You haven't seen this yet. I kind of get that. It's a little of both. It's like, oh my god, how have you not?

But then usually I try to keep myself from being that super movie geek elite. Oh my god, how have you not seen that? Because then I think about all the stuff that I haven't seen. I've seen a lot of stuff, but you're never done. There's still so much stuff, especially old Hollywood, that I feel bad about.

As much as I love old Hollywood stuff, there's still... tons of stuff that i just haven't touched it's just i've scratched the surface on the more popular things that i've seen but there's just tons of stuff that right yeah so i i try not to be that way for that very reason because i'm just like i know there's plenty of stuff i should have already seen and haven't there's more movies. I haven't seen than i definitely. And you'll never be done that's that's kind of why i like the movie geek thing you're never done you can watch movies every day of your life you're never going to get through them all there's just too many They're constantly cranking out new ones. There's too many old ones you'll never track down.

You're never done. So, yeah, I try not to get that way for that reason. But go watch the thing or re-watch it, especially if you haven't. I mean, I feel like Netflix should sponsor us. I talk with them so much.

But, yeah, I was so tickled to run across that on my queue. So what was her final take? Did she watch it sort of. In its entirety? Yeah, it was pretty late when I started it, and she's not one for gore.

She'll take violence, you know, Reservoir Dogs, that's not going to bother her. You know. That's always a fine line for me. And again, maybe because I watch too much of it, I don't even think I... I hardly even notice violence anymore.

I'm so numb to it because I watch nothing but horror movies. That's the funny thing is on my suggestions list is the only thing that will come up is kids' movies, documentaries, and gritty, violent dramas or gritty, violent horror. Everything is gritty and violent. Yeah. I get those too.

And I'm like, am I that bad? You know, am I that, they're everything. I'm like, I like comedies too, but everything has to have some violence. Gritty violence to it. And I never, you know, I guess that's what I like.

I don't suppose i don't argue with netflix i don't try to but that's what comes up i suppose. It knows you better than you know yourself i guess so is that it for you yeah i did i did i've never gotten to watch other than a few random episodes um arrested development yeah And so I've watched a few of those this past week, and I've been having a good time with that. It's another one of those that was almost too good for normal television. And that's probably why it was almost getting canceled for like three years straight. I can't believe it made it three years.

I think, if I'm not mistaken, it got three seasons out, but it barely, like from season one. barely eeked its way out to the next season two more times. David Cross is hilarious. He always makes me laugh no matter what he does. And, you know, Jason Bateman is such a putz, but he's good. He's so likable.

And they cast him in that perfect role. It's like this guy has to be likable or you're going to completely write him off. You're like, why are you dealing with these crazy people? Just move away. Take your kid and get the hell away from him.

But you have to like him. Yeah, the whole show kind of hangs on that. Not to go too long into Geekly, but that was a fun one to delve deeper into. Yeah, it's worth watching. And I was hit and miss.

It's like, again, and maybe that's why it didn't last as long. I don't think I started, and I think after it got all the attention, I tried to watch it because I liked the whole cast. I mean, Portia de. Rossi is awesome on that. Another reason I wish she would turn up in more stuff because she's so good in that.

So, I mean, there's all these other people in the cast that are amazing, and it's like it took even me a while to get to it. So, I mean, TV shows just don't have. A shot anymore. Unless you make huge numbers. That first week, you know, you're lucky to make it to the end of a season, so...

Meanwhile, they're begging to put more two-and-a-half men out. Oh, God. They really are. It's so sad. It's so...

I can't... I couldn't watch John Cryer for five minutes. Oh, man. I barely liked him. I.

There are a few movies I can even tolerate him in from like the 80s when he was quote unquote likable. Right. He, I mean, has anybody liked him since then? I guess. People still watch that show.

I mean, it's the number one ranked show in this country, which makes me sad. So I just wonder who the hell these people are and what they see. In him, in Charlie Sheen, in that show. In that kid. The kid's part of the show.

The whole thing is just an atrocity. I don't know why it is continued on. People love it. People are begging it for it. I know.

I don't get it. Okay. All right. So we'll escape from that. Now, we were just originally going to roll into today's movie.

But as I... When. I suggested watching this today, he was like, oh, yeah, I need to watch that little Red Riding Hood thing you guys were talking about. I was like, well, I can set you up with that. So.

It has now gotten so much attention around the Meltdown compound here. The rest of the kids are going to have to see it one by one. The 42-meter movie Meltdown compound. With gun towers and sniper rifles. Protected against all the people we pissed off.

Attack dogs, you know. So, yeah, I was like, so I'm thinking eventually everybody's going to have to watch it. But today, you know, we've got you here. So I think we're going to do a little, a miniature break here. and come back with your reaction to this, the, the Christina Ricci short film, little red riding hood. It's a little bonus for this episode.

We're going to get what Greg thinks about it and then roll. Into the full movie. So we will be back shortly with his, um, thoughts on that one. Okay. You come around here.

Shall we make your demands? With your own two hands, well, tell me now, what are you. Trying to do? We are about to witness the takeoff of the first manned rocket to outer space. We pick up the count.

Seven, six, five, four, three, two. One, zero. We're off to visit the planet that has reached the Lord of the Stars. Venus is loaded with candy. Woo!

And I've seen the promise on Mars, to show the fun fears among Saturn, when you're thirsty and sure it's a spot. And Jupiter's really jumping, so pop on this waterman's box, but the. Best of them all are the planets, where all of these dreams. Are at hand. And that is the spot we all head for, our theater refreshment plan.

Hello, this is Peter Mayhew, listening to Movie Mountain. Down. Once there was a girl who went to take some bread and milk to her granny. That was it? That was it.

All right, we're back for our little bonus sofa theater feature here, right? You know, sometimes they run a short film before the main feature, and that's what we have just done. Again, we are talking about the Little Red Riding Hood short film, directed by, I believe, David Kaplan is who I'm going to blame for this, and yeah, stars Christina Ricci. I'm trying not to go into it because I gave you a full. Rundown of my thoughts last week.

So, yeah, Greg, you have not seen it. What was your take on this? It was a joke that Mr. Kaplan played on whoever watched it, is what it is. It's nothing like any Red Riding Hood story I've ever seen.

Nope. I think it might be a must-watch. Kind of. I wish we got some sort of kickbacks from iTunes because it's available there, but I don't feel comfortable telling people to spend anywhere from $ 3 to. $ 5 to watch this. But in a way, I feel like everybody needs to see it, so I'm torn, really.

I can't believe they're charging $ 3. That's just to view it. I think if you want to download it, $ 4. 99. So that's the bargain because you're going to want to show this to other people.

You're going to want to show it to your friends. I And you got into it last week, I guess. Yeah, well, once again, throw out the spoiler alert for this. Go see it if you haven't seen it because it needs to be seen. It's ridiculous.

I'm not going to say it's good, but. For our purposes, it kind of needs to be seen because, again, we've. Built it up quite a bit on this show. Oh, wow. You know, I thought it was bad when I saw the wolf in leotard.

Frolicking. Is frolicking the right word for that? I won't argue that. I think I used something else last week, but frolicking will work. It's definitely interpretive dance.

I don't know what he'd be interpreting. He is a. Like super high end ballet dancer in the real world. Obviously. I mean, it was over my head, whatever it was.

And, and I know he's got talent, but good Lord, um, that was just a waste. And I said, man, I will try not to repeat myself. Um, I liked what they were doing visually with Grandma's house and everything. That was kind of neat. Throwing it off, making it different.

Christina Ricci, as creepy as it is, I can look at her, and even if it's teasingly undressing, that's okay. Which, once again, that's his fault. It's not like he's. Not knowingly doing this. He knows how old she is.

He's asking her to undress for the camera. I mean, it's Even if he doesn't show it to you, he's playing on that. He knows that you are sitting there looking at her like that. You're still thinking that even though you're, God, stop it. Besides, we've all seen Black Snake move.

Yeah, I remember. So, yeah, it's not like, which we decided before, doesn't that totally make it okay? Because now she's 18. Now she's older. Now she's well over 18.

So it makes it totally fine to look at her at any point ever before. Wait, I shouldn't have had those thoughts about Casper, then should I? No. Either way, go on with what you were saying. Yeah, the conversation in the bed, the path that it goes down.

Well, actually, before then, the cat calling her a slut. That's just a glimpse into the window of where we're going. Right. The road we're going. And that's funny.

The cat's very cartoonish in the way it's puppeteered. And the fact that it's a game puppet. And the fact that it's a puppet. They didn't even need that. No.

They could have just put a cat in there. I mean, it's narrated. It's not like he's actually needing to say it. Yeah. No one else is, you know, it's all narrated.

No one else even moves their lips in the movie. Exactly. Have very easily just been a cat. Why he chose to make it a weird puppet. I don't know.

Right. Um, yeah. And then the conversation in bed after the, what big mouth you have, then they go down a road that I was. Not prepared for. Um, and uh yeah it just you know the the wolf is not only a frolicking ballet dancer and grandma killer and pedophile but then likes it that way you know that's that's pretty that's pretty that's some pretty sick stuff that we're dealing with i've not seen that on the internet yet you know and there's.

A lot of weird stuff on the internet but you know what this kind of Because at least those you know what you're getting yourself into. This one, I sat down with a very different thing in my head of where I thought we were going than where it ended up. And then after that, it just kind of pitters off. It's like, that's the climax of the movie. It is.

It's the sad part. I don't understand what they were doing. And what's the very end, the little, was that supposed to be a nail or a wolf's nail or was that a hook? What was she was dragging across her face? I thought it was just a shot from earlier.

I thought it was that shot of his nail when they were still in bed. I thought it was just them inserting that after the fact. Or maybe they were getting it on and we just didn't see that. I don't see it. Did she just want to go to her house?

Because she was being very alluring to him, even after the fact. Even when she knew it was a wolf there, that little scene. She waited for him. She threw the fruit to get his attention. She stayed just out of reach the whole time.

I don't know. Again, what are we saying with what's going on in this? Because it's creepy whatever it is. Pedophiles can blame... their problems on The Little Girls. On Fairy Tales.

I learned all my creepy behavior from Fairy Tales. I can't watch Little Red Riding Hood the same anymore after that one. It's tainted. It's tainted, yeah. In so many ways.

And just the word usage for what they're saying. Yeah, thank you. That was when we became screaming at the monitors. What? What?

And I couldn't stay composed for the rest of it. No, and I couldn't blame you. I was trying to shut up and just sit there because I knew it was coming. It's a joke. It's a gag that they pulled on someone, and that's all there is to it.

All right, we can leave it at that. That was your sofa theater bonus feature there. So, yeah, now we're going to actually go and watch– This week's Sofa Theater feature, Alien Intruder. Which also sounds like a bad porn title. That's what you said earlier.

Alright, I think we see our theme for this week. Good lord. Who's the baddest dude in the galaxy who's slicker than superfly enjoy the casino cooler than captain kirk i'm. Lando calrissian i'm the owner of this found establishment and who might you be. Cut the charm, Lando.

The Black Star Warrior. That's who. Gambler. Smuggler. Scoundrel.

I hate you. Running his cons right under the nose of the Galactic Empire. I've got the cargo. I've got the connections. You.

You've got the ship. Doing business with you is nothing but trouble. The Empire would be all over me like stink on a Wookiee. No offense. Trust me.

With all due respect, I don't think you realize who you're dealing with. He's just one man, Lieutenant. You give him way too much credit. No, gentlemen. He is dangerous.

Calrissian must be destroyed. But when the man tries to shut him down. Next time you hire a pilot to move cargo for you, make sure and hire one that won't dump it at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser. Landau Calrissian? are under arrest. What charge?

Think of something. Lando shuts the man up. Think about this. Don't be a fool, television! And he brings trouble right to their front door.

I got a really bad feeling about this. Don't worry. Works every time. This is nuts, Lando. We're never gonna get out of here alive.

Blast him! That's not gonna work. I thought he said this works every time. Get back to the ship. I got this.

Get between this brother and his woman, and space ain't black enough to hide from him. Vader. Ah, Mr. Calrissian. Won't you join us?

Oh, mama. You got a lot of beautiful girls here, Vader. How about I take that one off your hands? I'll deal with you soon, Calrissian. The Black Star Warrior.

If you want to see him, ask your mama. Are you still looking for that special someone? Have other dating websites let you down? Hi, I'm Craig Fritz Rualdo. host of lovefinder.com telling you to listen to show show at show show.podomatic.com too many websites all in one sentence you betcha but show show is a podcast about movies for people like you who don't know what love is listen to show show every week at show show.podomatic.com or search show show all one word in the. Itunes store.

It's time for Sofa Theater. In the deepest regions of uncharted space. There exists a danger more lethal than any being known on Earth. It turns man against man. It terminates without conscience.

No remorse worse than a machine. Its name, Ariel. Wait a minute, remember the first time we all saw it? For God's sake, man, don't you remember what we all said? That's my fiancée you're talking about.

We're looking for a few good men. Four convicts were selected for our rescue mission. Mancuso, Nick. Navigator, first class. What's he in for?

Mutiny. Peter McClellan, engineer, first grade. Wiped out an entire family on the Autobahn. Demolitions expert. Blew an armored car, five dead.

What kind of time are you doing, DJ? Life. Without parole. A real computer jock. He's as good as they get.

There's a freighter running dark. We're going to go up there. Hook her up until we're home. There's one more thing. The Aphrodite program.

He's talking about virtual reality. Friday nights at 5 o'clock, you all have the weekend off. Our own private programs. You choose your woman, your fantasy. But once underway, the crew has a close encounter with a creature beyond their worst nightmares.

Commander Skyler is interested in more than just the mission. And virtual reality is no longer harmless fun. It ain't supposed to happen this way. Ghosts of prairie dogs tell me to turn around. I'm an intruder and I don't belong here.

Anytime I drive anywhere, There's something still down there waiting to come out. Oh, shit. All right, we are back with this week's real, well, I don't know, that's arguable. The second of this week's Sofa Theater Feature. Right.

The full-length feature uh i guess you want to call it that version. Oh this was grueling you gotta sigh yeah you have to sigh just to say the name of. The movie oh yeah kind of this week's silver theater feature is alien intruder the year yeah go ahead laugh at. It. The year is 1993.

The director is Ricardo Jacques Gale. Gale. I don't know. However you want to pronounce this. Ricardo Jacques Gale.

Okay. I don't know. Sounds good to me. Yeah. The plot, if you.

Want to go. Oh, yeah. I want to hear this. It's There's not much to it. According to IMDb, space-traveling convicts become the victims of their own fantasies when virtual reality is made to go wrong.

Made to go wrong? Made to go wrong? Okay. I love IMDb. Right.

They don't watch these movies. No, I don't think. Or they let just any idiot write it that was sucker enough. To have watched this. Oh, wait, that was it.

Spoiler alert! We don't want to ruin this for you. But before we even get to our version, it's time for. And this story, I have to say, is probably one of my favorite ones from the Waltz story. Mostly because it has nothing to do with the movie.

Fantastic. So yeah, we will hear what Billy Dee thought of making Alien and Trudy. Alien and Trudy, what was that? There was another low budget. All I remember about that whole situation, if that's the one I'm thinking about, was every morning going out to Long Beach, I think it was Long Beach, and We were using a warehouse out there, but every day you had to pass a pig factory, but it was a slaughter factory.

And I remember. The stench was like horrific. But I remember one morning I got up and I said, when they bring those poor little pigs in the truck, I'm going to jump out and. Unlatch the gates and let them all free. That would have been interesting on the news.

Billy Dee Williams, let's lose an entire group of people. It has no bearing on the movie. I will say, though, yeah, if nothing else, it has an odd tie-in to our recent Oscar Mayer party. So, you know, there you go. Oh, wow.

Well, that's, yeah, you got to love Billy Dee Williams. Just for that story alone, you got. To love Billy Dee, so. Alright, Alien Intruder. Alien Intruder.

Where would you like to begin? I think start with 1993. I had to look it up while we were watching it because I wasn't sure when... And, you know, now that I think about it, that was like that era of like that Silk Stalkings. Yeah, it was.

That's kind of what this was like. Okay, give me Silk Stalkings and Quantum Leap a little bit so you get all the stories. I know. And. I think you hit it right there, though.

I mean, I think somebody sat in a meeting and the pitch was, okay. Silk Stalkings, In space. In space. And that's all they had to say. And some idiot went, all right, make it.

Here's $ 14. Now go make it. I mean, it was like four sets. There was like the factory, the hallway, the bridge. And the sleeping chambers.

And that was it. That was it. And they kept shooting it from every different... Even the other ships. The other ship was the exact same warehouse.

It wasn't a warehouse. It was a spaceship. It was a warehouse that was like... Why do you need a warehouse like this of all this empty space? You know, space should be tight and cramped and there's no room, you know.

No. No. No warehouses in space. That's what we need. Oh, it was.

And, you know, okay. I'm going to stop here and be serious about talking about film. For a minute. Okay. Then we're not talking about this movie anymore.

Right. There were parts of it that weren't horrible. Now, the script... The script is really bad. It was the 12-year-old kid watching Silk Stalkings in.

His room late at night. Bad. You know, and actually, yeah, that's about right. Because, yeah, some of the lines that we noted... I can only see that.

From a 12 year old going that would be so awesome. It's like we were firing guns back and forth and you said let's dance and my retort would be dance on this and then I'd shoot you with a laser. A blue laser. You've only got a gun but I've got a laser. That's a whole other thing.

When you enter into any of these science fiction movies there's sort of that immediate okay what's the technology we're dealing with you know and most of the time it's super space lasers but then sometimes it's sort of retro you get like aliens and they're just firing you know normal machine guns and so once again you just have to kind of put everything in perspective but then right off the bat here it's like guns lasers it's like shotguns yeah it's just A mixture of stuff that there's no real explanation why this guy's got one, this guy's got another, why they both exist in this little world. Right. Why would you be carrying around a regular gun if you've got lasers at your disposal? I mean, it doesn't...

Not only does it not make sense, but at the same time, it doesn't explain why there's. Some reason to force it to make sense. Yeah, it. The science, if you want to call it what they have, is science. Right.

Is, yeah, in question almost every step of the way in this. Right. There is no feeling, the interior scene, well, the whole thing is essentially interior scenes when they're on the ship. There is no feeling, there's no, every movie has some kind of, you have to deal with, you're in space. You know, that's part of the canon.

That's part of something you have to do with a space project. none of that's in here. No, there's no weird, there's anti-gravity. There's no, none of that. There's, you know, there's Coke cans and bottled water, just, just sitting out. Like I said, there's just this open, plenty of open space that if you were trying to save money and build a ship, you would never have that much open space on a spaceship.

And, And apparently they run on steam power. Did you notice that? They were fixing steam lines with PVC. That was my favorite. I was looking around and it was nothing but PVC pipe.

I'm like, wow, they couldn't even borrow somebody's boiler room with real metal piping. They had PVC pipe everywhere. It's just pitiful. Yeah, they didn't have any money for the sets. No, no.

They rented out a couple of warehouses and just shot. It in there. And the thing is, I don't fault people for that. It's like, you know what? I don't have any money either.

But I think this is the thing. I mean, there's a lot of people out there shooting movies on shoestring budgets. The thing is, you've got to realize what you're dealing with going in. It's like, if you don't have that much money... Don't set your story in space.

Right, right. I mean, you learn from, you know, anybody along the way. It's like you look at something like clerks. You know, it's like that guy had no money. That guy went, where am I at all day long?

This stupid convenience store. Hey, I'll just bring the camera in here at night and shoot a movie here. Right. It feels real. You know why?

It's a real convenience store. You know, it's like you look at something like that. And there's plenty of other examples like that. But it's just people who understand their limitations. budget-wise, you know, sets-wise, surroundings, actors. It's like you've got to take all this stuff into account when you're making this movie.

You can write whatever. If you're writing a novel, you can write whatever the hell you want because you don't have to make it take physical form in front of you. But a movie, you need to understand your limitations going in. And I don't know why, especially in this price range. We hit this...

And it may have been this time, but I say that, but there's always been bad versions of low-budget movies like this that they just don't understand that. But they could have low-budgeted it enough. Yeah, a better way. Even with the story. Okay, let's say, hey, we've got the story.

Because the basic idea for the story, even though it was muddy trying to figure out what it was, that this. Whatever it is, is infiltrating and taking over these guys' fantasies and getting them to basically turn the ship over. I guess that's what they're trying to do. Kind of. It doesn't really work out that way.

I know. Is she blowing it up? Is she... She's trying to take out all of our fleet one ship at a time. One ship at a time?

Yeah, four months apart or whatever. So it's a little... But that, again... The idea that she's getting into our fantasies. Basically, I'm sure someone was watching Next Generation and saying, what happens if the holodeck is taken over by an alien intruder?

Basically, that's what you've got here. Basically. Basically. So that'll– you know, the actual fantasy scenes were done pretty well. They were better than these– again, if you look at all of those, like, the sets that they work in and– I mean– The.

50s one, the Western one. The Western one was okay. Casablanca. Casablanca, I don't know. Some of that office, the interior on that office looked very set, like very cheaply built set.

But it was still better than the spaceship. Better than the spaceship, I'll give you that. And it was better than the Alcatraz 2 set, or the new Alcatraz business set. Yeah, once again, and this was just writing-wise, in any futuristic story, I love when everything can be made futuristic. By making it new or space.

Right. That became the joke for me the whole way. It'll be a piece of space cake. Once again, we're not joking. That's a line from the movie.

It'll be a piece of space cake. God, I wish I was making that up. It'll be a piece of cake. Space cake. Oh, God.

Yeah, it's that bad. It's that bad. Say goodbye, dickhead. It's a 12-year-old that watched Silk Stalkings, that likes Star Wars, and saw Next Generation with the holodeck and saw the movie. And shot it himself with his lunch money.

With his Fisher-Price plastic camcorder that I had one of. I need to dig that out and work that. That was pretty impressive for a day, but doesn't mean you need to shoot a feature film on it. I have a major bone to pick about. I mean, I know I'm jumping around and you might have some better ideas.

It's hard. I mean, that's the thing. When I thought about it afterwards, I was just like, there's about a half an hour worth of story here. Like, this could have been an interesting episode on something, but. Man, is it drug out.

I mean, there's not really that much to address in the overall plot. So, yeah, go ahead and jump in wherever you want. They have an android on the ship that they're taking out to rescue in. And this guy stands around. He's in maybe, what, six scenes or so?

My question is... He's an android? Right. Did they really explain that ever? I mean, they make the jokes as they come in, but did they introduce him as that?

When they leave the dock and they're flying off into space, the computer that says that some rescue ship is going out and they give the little status updates. And they say five humanoid or whatever and one android. Or something like that. Something along the line where she mentioned it, but it's so fast. That you can't get it.

And they don't associate that it's this weird guy. I mean, once again, then they start making the jokes about, hey, screw the trash compactor or whatever. I mean, that stuff. And I was like, okay, I guess this guy is some sort of robot. Right.

Again, it's like just bad character introduction slash development. Right off the bat. It doesn't speak. It doesn't involve itself in any way. It doesn't affect the story in any way.

It's just another character that dies. That's it. Which is all they wanted, really. That was kind of a good shot of it dead with the thing protruding from its eye, whatever. But that was it.

I mean, there was no reason to have that guy in that movie at all. No, no. He was probably, like, not even an actor. He was, like, one of the lawyers that helped put this deal together. They were like, look, we'll get you in the movie.

Yeah, but I'm not very good at acting. You won't even have to talk. It's okay. You're a tall dude. We'll find something to.

Do with you. He literally stood there. I mean, it didn't involve anything else other than that. I want to address, and you specifically brought it up right off the bat, so I will give you credit for delivering the line, which was, if you can't afford a good set, go with bad lighting. So that points to you on that one, but the more I watched after that, that's all I noticed is, oh my god, you can't see anything in this.

And it didn't really distract me from the fact that your sets are. Terrible, but. Really? And maybe this is just a really bad copy we're looking at here. Maybe there's some master somewhere that looks beautiful, but in some of these scenes, I'm just like, these people are half-lit at best.

At best. At best. And even then, it's like you're lucky to figure out what's going on and... That's why it's such a shock to the system when they get to the old west. And it's like it's outside.

And it's lit. Right. And it's like you can actually see. So maybe that's why those feel so much better. Because the 50s when it's outside almost entirely.

Right. The west weren't. I mean, they're all just like so much. But you know when they're in the interior of his fantasy on the beach, you can't see. Anything going on in there.

Yeah, it's back to being dark. So they just didn't have a cinematographer whatsoever. They just... Didn't have lighting, guys. I don't know.

But, yeah, there's just a major issue there with lighting that, again, I don't know if there was just not a budget for them to worry about it. They were just, well, whatever. This is what we have. Shoot it. Right.

Or if really it was strategically planned, the set looks bad. Let's keep the lighting low. You know, it was very inconsistent lighting because sometimes it was well lit and sometimes it wasn't. And that was not a device of the camera. That was.

That person doesn't have a light meter. That's basically what it was. That person just does not know what they're doing. And that's pretty early on. I mean, you can work in a lot of pretty low-end stuff and build your way up to that.

I mean, there's a lot of projects out there where you start to learn that kind of stuff. And obviously, they do not have that going. No. Billy Dee. Do we want to talk about Billy Dee?

We can go into the actors individually. I will say right now... that, that is the real crime in this movie is I just, I feel so bad for Billy Dee. Yeah. Because he's a real actor. And even, I mean, of what you're looking at here, he does what he can.

Like he, there's times when I'm like, that's delivered pretty good. And that's, you know, he's, he's still like, he walks in that first scene. I'm like, Matt, there's Billy Dee. He's a badass already. So I mean, though the writing is extremely clumsy.

Yeah. I don't care if it's, I don't care. It, who it is, they're not going to be able to deliver, deliver clumsy lines. Well, I mean, and you just can't save it. Like even if his delivery is awesome, when the person he's up against is saying something, a stupid, right.

And B he's delivering it. Not so great. Right. It's like, it just, it brings your performance down. Even if you're doing a decent job, which I think again, for this movie, he was doing, you know, top of the line stuff, uh, But it doesn't matter because, I mean, especially by the last half of the movie, he has nothing to do.

He just sits at a screen and he sort of runs around a little bit at the end there. But, I mean, there's a whole middle part of the movie where he just has nothing to do with the story. He just sits there. Yeah. He drinks.

He drinks a lot, which. We decided wasn't malt liquor. No. Then I said it was space malt liquor, so that made it okay. New space malt liquor.

It's new space malt liquor. Was he Schlitz? Is that who he. Pitched for back in the day. Colt 45, that's right.

Ice cold, Colt 45. Not back in the day, he's back on it again. Oh, is he? A whole new ad campaign. I don't pay attention to malt liquor, so sorry.

Actually, while we're on the subject, less than a block away, right at the end of this street, there is a weird little tiny neighborhood store, which feels like it's from the 50s. I didn't even think they made these anymore, but there's one down there that's closed half the time anyway it's pointless that it exists other than the fact that i walk by there every once in a while and in the front window they have a. A billy d. Williams approved it says that like this location is billy d williams approved it's a light up picture of him holding a colt 45 and i i almost feel like i need to go in there and just give them a blank check Too bad they wouldn't get more than about four bucks out of it. But I'm just like, whatever it takes for me to get this light of Billy Dee Williams, I think I need.

We might need a picture of that. Because this sign is awesome. So yeah, he again makes everything cooler. Even that weird little store down the street, he makes cooler just by his presence. He couldn't save this movie.

No, unfortunately. No. And even he kind of knows that. I mean, if you're listening to him talk about it, he's just like, oh, yeah. And in a way, I like talking to people about that kind of stuff because, I mean, it is one of those...

I'm almost as interested to hear what they have to say about the bad movies as the good because, I mean, to me, I just like hearing the stories. And when you talk to normal people, you get that... I mean, you don't always hear these, you know... Bright and shiny. I mean, you go to normal media and all you get are these fluff pieces that are just like, oh, we had the best time making this movie and, you know, everybody got along wonderful. and I kind of like it better when actors are just like oh I want to forget about that movie you know because that's a real person and that's a real story and it's like I'm not just doing it to mess with them I'm like if you ask me about some bad job I had 10 years ago you know what I'll tell you how bad it was it's like you know I think.

Maybe people will. Say, oh, it's different when it's art. But I'm like, well, it's art when it's good. When it's bad, it was just a job. And even the actors will tell you that, you know, this was a paycheck.

I needed to take care of whatever situation I was in. This job came along and I took it. And I don't think even they look at a lot of the stuff that turns out bad as art. I think they realize it's a job more than anybody. And if they can't laugh at it and talk about it, then they're assholes.

That's the other thing. If you can't just, yeah, that was a part of my life and I did it. There's a whole lot, like you said, a whole lot of jobs I took that I didn't like who I was working for. I didn't agree who I was working for. I hated the job I was doing, but I did it because I needed that check.

They're people just like we are. They need those checks. That's kind of why I like... You really get a sense of the people that you're talking to, too. I've talked to several of them now that have actually kind of laughed about it and be like, Oh, you know what?

This is a bad movie, but I had fun doing it. And they'll give you reasons why they actually liked the experience. Even if the movie came out kind of cheesy or, you know, even if it was bad overall, they'll tell you it was bad and they'll tell you why. And I, you know, I think that's kind of equally as interesting going into these kinds of projects in talking about, it's probably more interesting than the movie itself. Oh yeah.

Um, The guy that played Lloyd. Gary Roberts. Gary Roberts, yeah. He looks MC Ganey. They look...

You know who I'm talking about? Which one is Lloyd? Lloyd is. Is he the Western guy? The Western guy.

Okay, yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, in a way, he was not... terrible as a performer. No. Because I actually bought him as a dick.

Like, that's the thing. He's a horrible character, don't get me wrong. I hate him when he's on screen. Right. But I'm watching as it goes on, and I'm like, well, as an actor, he's doing a good job.

He probably did about the best job. He kind of did. I mean, outside of Billy Dee, I mean, he's about all you've got to work with here. And it's sad, because he's obnoxious the whole time, and I hate him, but... He sort of turns in a realistic performance where I'm not buying DJ, you know?

No. He seems fake from the first second he's on screen. And the other, the Peter, the guy with the long hair just doesn't fit, doesn't work. Nothing works with him. Like, the look, the attitude, the, I mean, everything about him just doesn't add up.

Right. None of them go together. None of them belong on this guy. None of them belong on the interest that he has. None of them belong in a prison.

I mean, nothing matches with that guy especially. I don't know. And then Maxwell Caulfield's role, the, I guess, lead character. Our lead character is Maxwell Caulfield, if you're not familiar with him. And good lord, he just seems like an ass, doesn't he?

I'm pretty sure in the real world I've heard some pretty bad stories about him. So, again, maybe it's just carrying over into this movie because, yeah, he just seems, like, pissed off all the time in this. And, again, maybe it's not so much acting. Maybe, like, once again, this wasn't a great project. So maybe that attitude's coming through in the character that he's pissed that he even has to do this movie.

And it's coming through his neck. Right. And he, you know, like the woman who's coming on to him after her shower, you know, he's like, hmm, how dare you try to sleep with me. You know. And he does the same thing with Ariel.

He's like, how dare you, you know. Well, maybe he was more interested in those other guys in prison. He doesn't, yeah. There's other options, you know, maybe we don't know about. But either way, he's being a dick regardless.

Yeah, but it seems completely natural is the thing. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't impress me much in the way of. He's never impressed me as an actor. Right, right.

I don't remember how many things I've seen him in, but all of them. I've not really been impressed. Yeah. Oh, man. Do we want to round out the performances?

I guess old Scoggins? Yeah. I don't get it. And granted, she sort of disappeared now, so we at least have that in our favor. But at this point in time, like, in the 90s, this whole era, like, the end of the 80s, well into the mid-90s, like, people.

Acted like she was a big deal. Like, she was a name. Granted, it was, like, in straight-to-DHS features. silk stockings silk. Stockings and stuff on cable and wasn't she on Lois and Clark wasn't that like the most mainstream I think that was like the closest to like a mainstream well known project that she sort of broke through on but even on there it was just like she was the obnoxious chick on there it's like she was there to balance out the cuteness. Of Lois so you gotta have somebody be a jerk and it was her She has that 1990 look.

She does, really. Her structure to her face, everything about her is... And it's not my cup of tea. I think that's part of it with me. It's like...

And maybe this comes into play, as we mentioned earlier in the episode. Maybe it's just that look. It's like she, to me, looks like somebody who's trying really hard to be attractive. And... there's not and if you stripped it down there wouldn't be much there because I feel like it's like she's kind of got the Monet thing going on it's like if you looked at her I can understand she's got all the trappings of what most quote unquote guys would find attractive but I get up close and I'm just like I don't want any of that just like it becomes a big old mess. Since we're going to talk purely superficially let's talk for the women in this movie okay And you brought it up.

The women from the advertisement of the fantasy women you could be with, none of them. Not one of them was attractive. Well, that's the thing. I mean, they're running through these women. And I'm like, okay, normally I wouldn't be that superficial.

But they're running through fantasy women. Like, this would be, like, every bad Playboy playmate should be up there. Everybody in the most, like, glossy, you know, superficial version of a chick... Should be up there on the screen behind them. Perfect.

Especially perfect. Because they aren't even real. It's a virtual version of a woman. So there would be no imperfections. And...

98% of them are really unattractive. I'm sure that these women... aren't unattractive. I mean, they're not, you know, you strip them down and you take them away from the role that they're playing. I'm sure they're probably not. I don't want to be an asshole and say that they're unattractive, but...

Tell them we're design blames. I'm loving these softballs. No, but what I'm saying is... Again, if your show is supposedly showing perfection, they better be pretty damn good looking. And once again, it's like they're shooting this, I'm assuming, in Hollywood.

I'm like, there's not a shortage of not only attractive women, but very fake, plasticky looking women. You would think, and again, this is probably a budget limitation, but it would be relatively easy to find... What, 12 girls maybe that they flipped through there? They could bring them in and buy them lunch and afford it. So it's not.

Just say, you're going to be in a movie. Even for a second, you're going to be in a movie. And there should be a line of girls in Hollywood waiting. With Billy Dee Williams. Yeah, waiting to do that.

And they still couldn't deliver on that. That's just kind of sad that even that little second of the movie also seemed kind of cheap. Now, here's part two of the superficial portion of the show. The. All of the women who were supposed to be the lesser ones, the fantasy women of the guys, the four fantasy women, but the lesser ones, not as attractive as Ariel... all of them were better looking than her.

Yeah. In my opinion. And spoiler alert once again, what does she do to them all? She kills them all. This becomes her role is to work herself into the fantasy of each of these.

Guys very subtly, if you want to call it that. And then by the next time we reenter this fantasy, she basically takes out each of the women that they were sort of allotted, as part of this deal, they get to pick one of the women off that screen and they insert them in this made-up fantasy that they, I guess, design or at least get to pick the scenario of. And then they get to, you know, do whatever with this specific woman. You only get one woman, you pick her out, that's it. Well, she disposes of them and then takes over as the lead in their fantasies, basically.

You know, that was the most interesting part of the movie. I went into it and it failed. I was not thrilled with the fact that it took that turn. Because I think as I was having so much fun in the early part, because it was so cheesy, I was kind of having fun with the sets and the bad dialogue, and it was kind of fun. Well, then it takes that turn, and it's like, at that point it's not... as fun anymore.

It's not funny because the sets aren't as cheesy, and the dialogue's not quite as bad. But it's just a bad movie. But it's just, yeah, that's the thing. It also doesn't get better. I mean, it's slightly better than that mess of the beginning, but it's not a good movie either.

So at that point, you lose all the fun that was in the first half, and you're just kind of left with mediocre at best. But then, as you say that, I could at least appreciate... the parts of it that were better at that point. And then when you get out of those fantasies, like, you do it once, and then, like, 15 minutes later, you're back in them again. And once you leave them that second time, the movie, like, steadily goes downhill. And that's saying something.

And it's supposed to be the fast-paced... point of the movie where all the actions happen and it's just like okay get this. Over with yeah it was grueling that last half and i and. That's saying something the reason the path that i was going down with the fact that it was the better portion of the movie the turn it could have taken is instead of showing that she had disposed of them like the the girl on the beach um that could have turned into a great horror movie at that point where she was taking these women out in the fantasy. That could have been cool to watch. Um, we didn't really get that.

No, it shows you, you know, a bullet, a stray bullet hits one of them. And one girl's just dead on the beach. And I, You know, the whole tie the guy up scene in bed. That was silk stocking. That was silk stocking.

That was massively silk stocking. That was just dumb. That was Brent Hugh Diaries. Yes, it was. Since we're doing early 90s here, yeah, let's go ahead and throw in all the bad sex references of bad sex cable projects.

It could have then been ratcheted up horror movie, and then you could have done the same thing on the ship. And made it almost a she's now someone after them. That could have been– it wasn't technical enough to be psychological. And that's what it was going for is, ooh, this thing is getting us. Or even a Freddy Krueger, we can't escape her.

Yeah. I mean, it could have gone a couple of different ways there, and it didn't do either. Uh-uh. And the way that it goes is the least interesting. Hey, put it this way.

That 12 year old boy after the tied up scene in the bedroom, he wasn't interested anyway. At that point he took a nap and then the screenwriter went in and. Went, what do I do with this? Like, I don't care. I got off.

That's all that matters. All right, let me finish writing something here. So yeah, it really tailed off and. And not soon enough. Like I was just like, Oh please.

By the end I was like, This last scene is kind of dumb, but please let the credits roll so we can be done with this. It was about two hours, and it could have been an hour and a half. A half an hour. I'm telling you. At least an hour-long show, so it would have been about 46 minutes.

Once you throw commercials in. It could have been one of those, and I don't think it would have been any less. I think you could have easily told this story that same way. taken out a good portion of that filler in the last half of it, and hopefully turned it into a better wrap-up, too, where maybe either one, I mean, she could have turned into some physical manifestation and they would have had to deal with her, or she could have actually really gotten into the heads of one of them and not just been like genie whispering in their ear as they jump around, but actually made them crazy. Because, I mean, in the end, that's. What this becomes.

This is a story about space madness and only it's this creature this they refer to more as a virus but it's a virus that comes with DNA from an alien or something weird like that so I mean basically it's it's What's the cheapest way we can have an alien movie and not have an alien in it? I mean, it's called Alien Intruder, and, I mean, you don't ever really see an alien. The closest scary thing you see is Tracy Scoggins. I mean, they found, like, a loophole in, well, we, you know, once again, budget limitations. It's like they probably wrote it specifically because at the end, do we have to have a big giant monster that we fight?

No, because we can't afford one. Mm-hmm. So instead, let's find this way to make it all in their minds. And then they fight each other because it's crazy space madness. Well, you know, he even uses, Billy Dee even uses that cop-out as far as saving money is he says that the ships were made identically.

So that they can use the same set. Nice. They were smart. No, they weren't smart, but they tried to be smart. They tried to be smart.

It didn't pan out for them so much. Yeah, I kept thinking that we were going to get some kind of. Her becoming, revealing that she's an alien, but no, that never happened. Yeah, I mean, again, there's a lot of other movies that tried to do something, and the wrap-up becomes something like that. The set-up isn't the same as this at all, but in the end, a lot of sci-fi movies kind of go that route, and it turns around, and you're dealing with a much bigger life form, usually physically, because then that can be your grand finale, is a big monster-type creature to kill, and yeah, there's no battle.

But that takes some kind of special effects. Special effects and budget and. I guess the biggest special effects in this were either the orange spaceships floating around... Which I was trying to decide, were those made out of Legos? I think they were made.

Out of Legos. And then. The blue lasers. Which, the ones in the prison? Right.

Those were pretty fancy. Oh, the red lasers on the bars? The bars, yeah. There were the blue lasers on the gun, but then when they were in prison, they had laser bars. Right.

I don't even know how to describe those exactly. They were red lines. They were cutting edge of 1993 technology, I suppose, because. Yeah. You know, it really puts in perspective.

I was. I was graduating high school in 1993, and it doesn't seem like the world was like that. It doesn't seem like it was that long ago, really, in my mind. And I can't believe they put this out in 1993. And again, I think it's all budget, because I can find new movies older.

Than that that look better than this. Oh, yeah. And it's because they just had more budget to work with and had more skilled people behind it that... know how to make stuff look right, and know how. To hide it when they can't make it. I mean, when they realize that it's 1980, and we don't have the technology to do this, how do we work around that?

And there's just smarter ways to do that, and they just didn't know how to do it, I'm assuming, in this. There are student films, one of those 48-hour festivals, there are student films that have No budgets and pull better stuff off. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Which, again, I mean, you don't want to totally trash them.

They try. They try. They just– you just need to realize going in you don't have the goods there, you know? Yeah. Write something that you can manage.

Yeah. Write something that you're in one– if you don't have a budget– Like I said, with Clerks, they filmed from a car, a rooftop, outside of the store and inside of the store. I mean, that was basically the movie. And I mean, you can do, now especially, I mean, you look at something like Moon. Moon is like nothing budget compared.

To major studio releases. Right. And it looks amazing. Now, granted, it's a very different technological world now. But still, I mean, just to compare, it's like, Once again, that's somebody who knows how to work the system, knows how to work around what they can't do.

And again, a lot of that is set in one place. Very limited number of actors. It's like they realize what the budget they're going in, who they can call favors in on to make it look good. It's like they worked away to make it look good. Did you have a nice weekend, Van Cuso?

You changed the course. That's right. I'm supposed to be your navigator. Why the hell didn't you tell me first? You're on a need-to-know basis, Mancuso.

Or did you forget? Okay, one of the only other things that seemed really just laughable, and it was into these, I guess, as we look back, the more interesting segments, but... Okay, so you get. What? The weekend to go into these fantasies.

Right, right. And I think we even made some of these comments, but I just really wanted to go into it. Why are you wasting your time with all this other stuff? Really? You've got a fantasy world where you can do everything and you're going to go in and like...

Again, these are guys in prison. Mm-hmm. In the real world, they're A, guys. B, guys that just got out of prison. All you're going to want to do is fuck.

Right. I mean, let's be realistic. All these guys would want to do is, I mean, and they're giving them a woman. They're basically saying, this is all you're going to do. Go go to town, have fun.

And we go in and we see scenes of him. Running on the beach and working out on some sort of equipment. I'm like, really? Your fantasy is to work out on some sort of piece of equipment. And while the girl that walks by half naked, you give attitude to.

When she approaches him, he gives her attitude and walks away from her. And then when Ariel's on top of him... He keeps saying no, no, no. Is he gay? I don't know.

Then it wouldn't be his fantasy. Yeah, I mean, then it's their fault for not researching what it was. But if so, he was playing along because didn't he have to pick somebody? Wasn't there another disc with guys on it? I mean, they should open this.

Up to everybody. Especially if they're getting guys from prison. I'm pretty sure. We're probably going to run into that scenario. Let's just go ahead and cater to everyone.

Yeah. But not even that. Like, okay, even if you take the girls out of it, I'm just like. I could understand, I guess, if it was after a while, you know? And they were up there a couple of months, but still, I think for these guys, they're pretty dumb.

They would not get tired of sex right off the bat. No. If you're talking. Years and years, eventually you'd bore with that, and you'd want to move off, and maybe you would do other stuff. But, I mean, yeah, he's devoting so much of his old West time to gunfights.

Right. I mean. Really? Now, the steak thing, I can understand that he might want a good steak cooked for him, but yeah. That's all very, you know, self-indulgent.

And riding a Harley with a... Again, riding a Harley, eh. Again, it seems like a real quick setup, but I mean, we see nothing but him riding around and trashing a small town and getting into fights with people. It's like, really? This is your fantasy?

Right. I don't know. It just seems so.... Yeah, well, what's the whole thing with the Casablanca fantasy? That's such a waste of time.

They're drinking, and he has that squirrely guy asking him. You got to give me the documentary. Yeah. None of it goes anywhere. I'm just like, this is your fantasy?

Right. To rip off a 10 million times better movie. Right. And steal lines kind of directly from it. And they do steal.

And they do. Right. And characters and outfits. I mean, everything about it, it's not like, I mean, first, when they first get to it, I'm like, okay, he's just doing like a noir kind of thing. Right.

There's plenty of movies that have that look. But as it goes into, like, once he leaves the office, I'm like, no, this is straight up Casablanca. Yeah, no, it's fully intends to be. But again, I mean, like, once again, these guys all seem too dumb to do that. Like, I think Casablanca's awesome.

Maybe eventually I'd get around to wandering through Casablanca, but I don't know. Not that I'm any better than these guys, but it just seems fake is what it is. You know, I'm just like, it seems very forced. And especially for these characters, it just did not fit them that they would be spending so much time on these little side stories and extra plot lines and random side characters. And again, I guess it's a movie we've got to allow for some sort of scene to take place.

But it just all feels really fake to me. Yeah, it's, well, you know, when you have a kid that was 12 years old and watching Silk Stocking is right at it. I'm convinced that that's what happened. If you're going to get into fantasies, let's make them a fantasy. Although, you could have established with one line, if you wanted to go down that line of, we've been on the ship for three months, you could say, well, the first month, all I did was fuck.

Yeah. Okay. Say that. Get it out of the way. In better developed characters, I think you would do that.

And they're like, well, okay, this is a fantasy. I really can't explore this. Where would you. again, if we're going to steal from the holodeck idea, that, I mean, if anybody made use of that little twist in a plot line, I mean, you go back to the Star Trek world, and specifically that TV series, it spent so many episodes inside that, and sort of exploring what you could do with a plot that takes place in a fake situation, or what happens to these characters when they're in this situation, and and where they do end up going. And those characters all seem well-developed enough that I buy that eventually, you know, granted, they probably did the same thing. Riker's kind of an idiot, too.

In the beginning, I'm sure all he did was fuck. But eventually, you know, the other characters and more well-developed characters come along, and I'm sure, you know, I buy those stories. It's like those characters... feel real in exploring those worlds. I mean, specifically, Picard goes into a film noir world, and he does all that stuff. So, again, I buy it with him.

I don't with these guys. You don't with those guys. Well, didn't Data do the one where he was Sherlock Holmes? And he wanted one so difficult that he couldn't solve it. Boy, I'm geeking it out now.

But again, I think that's somebody using that to their advantage. That's somebody realizing that this really is unlimited in the way that you can take the story and how much you can explore things, like, you know, just very deep, you know. I mean, most of what, especially Next Generation, really got into that weird, like, Exploring the characters and the motivations behind them, especially Data. Data had that big humanity thing. He had the whole Pinocchio scenario going on.

So everything was about finding out how to be real and what made you a person. So they used that to sort of delve into all these different avenues. This movie does not. Yet this movie is epic. After that.

You know they watched it. You can't pretend like they didn't. That's the sad part. You're like. That's a TV show.

Granted a TV show that had a budget. And good writers. And good writers. And a good concept. And good actors.

It's way better than it will ever be. But. Again you can see what. They're trying to do on the TV show and what they just painfully miss. At in this movie.

Yeah, this is a miss the entire time. Pretty much. From the opening, just the music as the credits are going, it just sounds cheesy. It sounds like it wants to be sci-fi music in a sci-fi movie, and they're trying really hard to be sci-fi movie music, and it's just painfully cheesy, and it doesn't get any less cheesy when... conway's on the. Screen jeff conway i know jeff conway opens this movie but he.

Plays crazy so well because he's really crazy exactly i mean that's that was that was probably the best casting they did yeah in the entire movie i guess. Okay maybe billy d billy d was a big. Gift yes for this i mean i'm sure billy d is what sold this movie i'm sure they had him attached and then went okay, now we can get a little bit of money, and now we can get other actors on board, and yes, I'm pretty sure. But Conaway, I didn't want any more from his storyline. No.

I was frustrated and bored with it early on. I was like, I really don't care what's wrong. With these guys. And it's like 10 minutes tough. Yeah.

But he definitely was the best part. Of that, unfortunately. That segment, I mean, yeah. Unfortunately. I mean, the rest of it was.

Just bad special effects and bad pretend falling down because I just got shot. Right, right. But yeah, I'm not going to say that that part worked, but he worked in that part. Yeah, I mean, again, doing the best with what little you're given. Right.

He can do crazy just fine. He can do. Crazy just fine. No, I was, yeah, he did a fine job. Much better than Maxwell Caulfield.

Although he did play a dick pretty well. Once again, not sure that's acting. You know, again, I've mentioned this on other shows before, and it's one of those things where I want a character in the movie, especially my protagonist, the guy that's going to make it out, I want to like that person. I want to identify with that person. I want something.

They don't have to be a good person. They don't have to be You know, they can be an asshole, but there's got to be something about them. There was no humility to that character. There was no, you know, nothing that I could identify with. And the one that I honestly identified with was Lloyd more than any of them.

He at least was a real person. I mean, he was a low end of the totem pole, low end of the gene pool. Yeah. I mean, it was kind of like Biff. Yeah.

You know, you don't like Biff. He's an asshole, but... But there's a lot of guys out there just like Biff. Yeah, and you'll put up with him. And if Biff died, you know, you'd be pretty sad.

Probably. For a little while. Not sad, but. Only now, because I'm attached to that character. Right.

But in the real world, he would be kind of a jackass. No, I'm talking about in the movie. In the movie, yeah, I guess. Because when this guy is the sacrifice when he's killed off, I'm like, oh, that was kind of like the one guy I liked. Yeah, that was pretty much it.

You know, you're hoping for that twist of the dick lead actor gets killed off, and the one actor that you didn't like in the. Beginning, but maybe... Has to save the day. Yeah, you know, maybe, you know... No.

Unfortunately, no. They didn't give me that either. I don't like top billing guy getting out all the time. Sometimes they have to mix it up, Yeah, I mean, I guess with anything, even if you don't identify with that specific character, in any scenario, they almost need to give you a character that you can at least have the perspective of, that gives you somebody that you're supposed to see the story through their eyes, and it's like, I don't want to see it through any of these people, you know? No.

There really isn't. I mean, the closest thing to a likable character is Billy Dee. And by the end, he becomes crazy too. So it's like you're left with nothing. And really, that's what it feels like.

In the end, you're left with nothing. Just like, ugh. Yeah, it just becomes. Just kill him off and blow the ship up. Yeah, let's hurry up and jettison your Lego ship out into space so we can start the credits.

It looked like, and this was before it, but it looked like the. Cardboard and plastic box that Buzz Lightyear comes in. There you go. In Toy Story. It really did.

It's because he was out looking for the G sector. Yeah. Do we want to go into the G sector? Brian and I figured out during the G sector that they're actually talking about the G spot. And you can play a.

Drinking game to the anytime the G sector is mentioned. And it could be used for a euphemism for the G-spot, you drink. Once again. But you'd be drunk fast. It's that one little segment.

It's like the number of times they say what they're saying, and then the fact that right at the beginning we made that smart-ass comment... And I couldn't listen to anything they said after that because it all becomes about that. The G sector is a myth. Well, we're going out there in the middle of it to go searching for it. You'll never find it.

I mean, it's like everything about it just became ten times funnier than anything they actually put thought into. Men get lost on the way to the G sector. It's just so much better. Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes you got to MST this bitch up. Yeah. That was probably the most enjoyable moment of the evening. Kind of, yeah. It sort of was.

So it was about a minute and a half's worth of lines straight where every single one of them could have been guys sitting around a poker table talking about. I can't find the G-spot. I can't find the G-spot. Oh, yep. I'm pretty sure that's the case with all these guys.

Again, the 12-year-old boy. Yep, pretty much. It all comes back to that skunk-ass polecat. A skunk-ass polecat. Yeah, that once again is a line.

The redundant. I was like, yeah, isn't that redundant? They didn't really think that line through at all, did they? No, I did want to mention one thing. The explosion that was a pretty good pyrotechnics explosion, but then...

Well, that was at the gas station that exploded. Yeah, the 50s one? The 50s gas station. That was the best. There was a decent one earlier on.

There was a couple of decent explosions, especially for this budget. But the one in the 50s world, that was impressive. But then at the very end of it, there was like this little... Fireworks. The little cones.

It's like the cones firework that spark at the edge of it. It emits shower of sparks. Is that what you're talking about? That's exactly what I'm talking about. Light the volcano and step back because it will emit a shower of sparks.

And that's exactly what that was. It can't have been any. I've seen those too many times because they shove a hundred of those. In every case of fireworks that you buy. Yeah.

And that's what, I mean, it was like this great pyrotechnics explosion, you know. Even with a guy being hurled from it. Yep. That's one of the better stunts, dude. And then this little...

That one was still way better than the ones at the prison escape. You could see the big flamethrower mounted onto the floor as the fire would shoot up out of it. I'm like, this prison was equipped with flamethrowers? Yeah, on the ceiling. That just shoot up into the air?

Yeah, and it was so bad you could even see the pilot portion of the flamethrower before. It's got a little spark and now, ooh, that one's going to go, that one's going to go. And because he's getting close to it. Right. But apparently new Alcatraz is...

Space Sucker Jazz! Right. He's fitted with roofs that have flamethrowers. As all buildings will have in the future. Oh.

Yeah. I feel for humility. You're right. You are a hard-working man, and this movie is so beneath you, it's not even funny. You know what would have sold it if he would have had a Lando cape?

What's... Yeah. Yeah. What I was going to say, what's funny is so many of his movies, they steal that photo. Because one of the other ones on his list, I actually have a version of.

And it's like a bad 70s exploitation kind of movie. And it's just a picture of him on the front from the movie. But on the back, it's him in the blue Lando game. And I was just like, that is not from this movie. You are cheating.

You can see Lobot in the back. Lobot is not in this movie. This $ 1. 50 DVD is not that Lobot. They should have just gone ahead and named that Android Lobot.

That would have been awesome. They should have just followed him around all the time. That's pretty much what he did is follow him around all the time. He talked about as much as Lobot. Wow.

That's... Alien and Turner. It would be one of those late night, you know, what's this? Oh, fuck it, I'll watch it. It's got Billy Dee in it.

And I would have, I mean, this is, yeah, I'm sure I would have watched this on VHS at some point back in the day. Somehow I missed it then. Really, that was even on the end of that. I mean, this feels like an 80s straight-through VHS movie. And, yeah, it still plays like that, only it was 93, which kind of makes it a little more sad.

Could they have had it in the can and just held on to it? Maybe. I mean, it's that bad. It is. There's so many issues with this movie.

All right. Is there anything else that we can make fun of? I mean, I feel like I want to say something good, but. There's not a lot, really. There's not a lot.

I mean, I usually, more than most people, try to find the best and even the worst of movies, but. Oh, the Ariel character is just a waste. I'm not even talking about the actress. Yeah, she just. There is no. character to her right granted in initially she's a virtual reality program but as it goes on she's not but they never give her any real character there's no identity to her right and she like even as a virtual reality character has nothing but quippy one-liners to say and everybody and it's just yeah she's just annoying that's what she is.

Yeah That's why they were all blowing that ship up. They were just enjoying it. They just want to get away from her. I can't escape, so how about if I die? Leave me alone.

Then, right? Another thing I groaned at is when Lloyd was talking to DJ, and DJ was figuring out that it was a virus on the ship, and Lloyd was concerned that he was getting some kind of VD from his fantasy world. That, again, is something a high school kid would have come up with. But even a high school kid would know that when you use a computer, you don't type the same two keys over and over again. The DJ was doing his...

He was like hitting the F and the L. Just over and over. And that was him. That's how you break into a navigation system that's got a virus. In new space, I guess.

In new space. FL, FL, FL, FL. Well, the thing is, again, in complaining about the pacing, the last half of this movie is just people typing. You go through Billy Dee typing for a long time and sitting in front of a screen and then... Once he kind of takes a step out of the picture, DJ comes in and he sits in front of a screen and types for 10, 15 minutes.

It's just, yeah. And even in the beginning, the captain of the Holly, is that what it was called? I guess. He's typing on a keyboard that is vertical. Vertical.

He's typing against it, and it's new. And, you know, that probably was, you know, technology. Normally, you know, your computer was connected like your Apple IIe, you know, where. Like, it's all one machine. But this, it was actually separate, and you could mount it on the wall and type on it.

It was new and fancy. How amazing would that be if all of a sudden you had the iPad II? Yeah. How big would that be? Futuristic.

What movie were we talking about last week? Oh, in Red Riding Hood, we were talking about last week. They had iPods, didn't they? Well, that's because Apple sponsored that movie. They were like, I don't care what you're set in.

You're working in some product shops. Oh, man. She's like, isn't there a Wolf app on this somewhere? Wolf Destroy. I had to pay $ 1.

99, but it was worth it. Let's throw angry birds at the wolf. Oh, and while we're making fun of DJ, which, great, that was a minute or so ago, but I have to call him out for, in his dream sequence, I mean, he's dorky enough in the real world, but when he gets into his dream sequence... His hair suddenly looks like vanilla ice. And he's riding around on a motorcycle, so suddenly I'm like, are we in Cool as Ice?

Did I switch movies all of a sudden? You know, it was. It was cut up around. It was. Yeah.

And then he, like, he made it higher and it stuck kind of up in that. It was totally cool as ice. He just didn't have that bitchin' motorcycle suit. He had, like, a Letterman jacket. He was still kind of a dork, even in the 50s.

And, you know, if it's your fantasy, don't get your ass kicked. That was Tracy Scoggins' fault. Oh, that was Scoggins' fault. She messed it all up. That skank.

I think we should go out on that. Okay. Tracy Scoggins is a skank. I don't know anything about Tracy Scoggins, but she's a skank. I don't like her.

I'm sorry. I can't help it. There's just something about her that just has always. Right. Brian groaned when her name came up.

Because I hadn't watched the trailer in a long time. I remembered then that I'd seen her in the trailer and had that reaction then. But that was a long time ago when I first watched the trailer. Yeah. And then I remembered and went, ugh.

Yeah. All right. So, go check out Alien. Check it out. Go buy yourself a copy.

I don't know if it's in print. Let us know how you guys feel about it. You're right. If you're a Billy Dee completist. Yeah, this is definitely the end of the list.

Or a Maxwell Caulfield completist. You're a glutton for punishment there. God. All right. We will take a break and be back with the rest of the show.

It's hump day, boys. Hump diggity dog day. We are sliding on down to the weekend. You boys keep learning about that damn G-Sector, and old Mr. Pecker gonna pack his bags and go on home.

Okay. You're back. Sector's uncharted, Lloyd. There's some electromagnetic probes out there. Every one of them's come back blank.

What are you saying? There's nothing there? According to our definition. But we're going in there to rescue somebody. Yeah.

Great. Right smack in the middle of it. Dead space, gentlemen. Holy Jesus Christ. I can't believe I'm sitting here playing poker with a bunch of Alice's.

No one's ever made it out of there, man. There are two rules to remember if you want to have a good time. Rule number one, never run out of Colt. 45. Rule number two, never forget rule number one.

You want to know why you should keep plenty of Colt. 45 on hand? You never know when friends might show up. I don't claim you can have a better time with Colt. 45 than without it.

But why take chances? The power of Colt. 45. It's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies.

All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on with the show. It takes a turn. Is that it? No.

This one takes no turns. This one was swallowing downhill right off the bat. I was going to go straight down a straight and narrow towards suck. Oh, poor Billy. This one is just flounders.

Yeah. It's like. Okay, if it maintained the consistent bad the entire time, that's fine, but it turned into like... It's fun bad. That's the thing.

Those first 20 minutes are fun. I'm just like, oh, this movie's awesome. It's so cheesy and bad and ridiculous. The guy with the big gun and the escape from the prison. By the time you get out of those hologram dream sequences, it's just.

It's almost like they were born with it. Yeah. And they just like, yeah, we just got to get through this. We just got to finish. Whatever.

Fuck it. Just finish it. Everybody seems bored with it. Yeah, we're still talking about the movie. We can't get away from it.

So, all right, we're back. And we're back. Oh, okay, kids, get out your secret decoder pins. Set your pins to V2. Here is the message.

It's me playing with my secret decoder pin. But you're not making the noise. I don't know. This is the worst fanfare I've ever had. I know.

It is time for Movie Meltdown's Secret Circle reveal of the next who knows how many features given where we're going next week. Next week we will be heading to the much anticipated next Horror Hound. Yay. Where I'm sure we will be pestering several celebrities and probably running into other podcasters and listeners and it should be interesting to No telling what will come of all this. Misty might get hauled to jail for trying to touch Sean Patrick Flannery's face.

Probably. She's already said she wants to. Right. I don't know if she'll follow through on it. Right.

And Jay might already be there after, like, just asking feldman a lot of crazy. Questions right from what i hear. He's pretty excited to see feldman i'm not even sure why i don't know that he even likes feldman he just gets excited and he's got the crazy fake feldman sightings that have got him extra excited so. His girlfriend's got the other cory on her. Leg yeah and i've told her to go up and taunt him with it so Some trouble will ensue, I am sure.

Now, is this the event that Randy gets his mace? See, now, I thought it would be fun if he took it up there. Originally, I think Jay didn't think about it, and he was just going to give it to him there. But I'm assuming he's flying there. Flying there, right.

So, yeah. He can't take that. I don't think that's going to go over so well with him. But he could let him see the mace. Yeah, I guess he could show it and then bring it back home.

That seems like a tease, but we're kind of sadistic. We might do that. Here's your mace. I wonder if they'll let him bring it in the room. I see people bring a lot of fake weaponry.

I don't know if they'll realize that that one will actually kill people. If he dresses up, he probably could save it. Yeah, if he goes as an ogre or something, they won't even notice that he could actually annihilate half of that person. Yeah, he could wipe out some. I mean, it's an impressive.

Video of jay bashing in that. Coconut it's just yeah it like liquefied the thing it's just yeah it's it's hardcore i. Had to show that to my wife it was i was so impressed by. It so oh so yeah that will be probably a couple of episodes there i'm assuming we're gonna get a good amount out of that hopefully so since we're making the trip up there we're going to get something useful out of it if i can help it so that will be Coming at you the next couple of times. We're still deciding.

If nothing else, I'm assuming at least we know we want to hopefully work in, as far as movie discussions, we all want to see Sucker Punch. Desperately. Some of us even have special crushes on the lead. Not even the guys. Right.

Last week, a certain. Female cast member said she has a girl crush on our female lead of this movie. You know, it's hard not to have a crush. Kind of, yeah. I mean, I assumed that you and I would probably, but even hearing her, I was like, well, yeah, I can see that too.

You can't fight it. She's just that damn cute. And she's cute, and like we talked about, there's something odd about her as well. Yeah, and she's not like obnoxious cute. She's not like... overtly cutesy she's also like cute and I'm gonna kick your ass at any given moment so I mean it all sort of works in a perfect way to make you like this girl so yeah we're hoping that comes out next weekend as well so we're gonna try to work in a viewing of that if we can squeeze it in there somewhere between heading up there and coming back and Misty not killing people for seeing them for two days in a row so we'll see if we can get all this worked out I make no guarantees laughing.

So with that, we will. Once again remind you, last week we kicked off our deal with Tweaked Audio. So, once again, we set you guys up. We're giving you the deal. Go to tweakedaudio.com and use the discount code MELTDOWN and get 33% off and free shipping.

Tweaked Audio. Anything else to pass along? No. I don't think so. Me either.

I'm worn out by this movie. Yeah. And it's late. It sucked the life out of me. So.

Other ways that. does it. We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening. Yeah, that was pretty shitty.

It really was. It really was. Something about Opening the windows and doors I know How. To move quietly Creep across creaky wooden floors I know Where to find precious things In all your carpets and drawers Slipping the clippers. Slipping the clippers.

Through the talisman wires. The sense of isolation In spite, in spite, in spite. Hey! Hey! Hey!

You know I am. Here I like you. Lying awake Your bated breath charging. The air I like. The touch and the smell Of all the pretty dresses.

You wear. Intruder's happy in the dark Intruder come Intruder come and leave Leave this mark Leave this mark Leave this mark. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Ho! This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, with opening music performed by The Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.