186: Convention Insanity

Hi. I masturbated back in the day. And I figure I owe you some cash for that. Yeah. I feel bad because.

Don't open the episode with that. We're opening the episode. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. It's showtime, folks.

Enjoy the show. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. Is there a history of insanity in your family? Hi, welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Misty.

I don't know if anybody else has ever started it. That's pretty good. And you are? I'm Jay. I'm Randy.

We've roped Randy into it. So, yes, this is Movie Meltdown. We are coming to you live via digital recording from the floor of Fright Night Film Fest slash Fandom Fest. And it's kind of out of control at the moment. That was the funny thing, because you got, like, Vernon Wells.

And, like, of all the people here, I think he's the only one I might, like, wander by and, like, thank. Because at least he's iconic. Yeah. You know? I mean, he's a working actor.

You know, he's not making, like, millions of dollars. But. He's an icon, at least for a couple of roles. Yeah. And, you know, and he's actually, this might mean something to him, where he's walking dead douchebags, you know, trying to, like, milk more from the swollen teat.

Fuck him, you know? Yeah, he wore assless chaps in the road work. Yeah, he saw his butt. Yeah. That's helpful.

Yeah. That should be worth something. Get extra credits for asscheeks. Yeah. I don't know.

The 40 minute wait to see anybody. The only person I wait like that for is my fucking dentist. And I'm not really happy about that. And they don't even give you magazines here. Yeah.

You know? It just mirrors this guy across from us who's kind of like a... Like Mickey Six had like a brother. I would have said like Danzig if you left him in the dryer. Yeah.

I feel like Nikki Sixx. Maybe if Nikki Sixx and Danzig had a song. That was frightening, actually. That's because I can't think of any audio for Nikki Sixx. There goes Gloves.

He always fucking wears Gloves. Gloves! Oh, Gloves, yeah. Oh, that's Kane Hodder, right? Gloves.

Well, that's that whole badass. I could commit a crime and get away with it. I assume that's what I take away. No, I just figured his other job now, he's a hand model. He's like, I don't want to mess up my friend's mother.

Well, that's it. My hands are my life. I can't mess those up. He's a hand model? What?

Boyfriend. What? You can picture a big close-up ad with him like we're in a watch or something. Like, I'll take that. Look how awesome that hand looks.

I'm kind of lost. Spider-Man has your color hair. Let's go beat his ass. Still, he's intruding on something I think you've trademarked. It's like, let's see if you really stick.

Her in the balls. Can you talk about how ridiculously adorable that Rose girl was? I don't know her last name. Rose Sienna. But apparently, she was on the show.

I don't know when she was on the show. I wasn't there. January, I believe. Anyway, she came by earlier, and I swear to God, she is the most ridiculously adorable thing I've ever seen in my entire life. She has this voice that's just like a cartoon animal. but in the most adorable of ways.

In my head, she is a Disney princess, and I'm pretty sure butterflies and birds and mice help her get dressed in the morning. She sings little songs about it, and I think Maybe she poops rainbows or something. I'm not really sure, but she was ridiculous. What? The point to make there, the point to make is.

That she saw somebody walk by with one of these murdered teddy bears in a box. I thought they were selling it as a display model to try and gather interest, because I have one of the mutated teddy bears, but these. Are crime scene teddy bears. She went over to save the teddy bear, and she's like, asked the girl walking around carrying this display case, what. Happened to your teddy bear?

Like all lost and feeling the pain of the world. She wasn't joking. She wasn't being cool and ironic about it. She was really worried about what happened to the teddy bear. And that's, again, usually things that good in the world make me.

Want to destroy things. But something about Rose is pretty awesome. She's adorable. Oh, my God. Yeah, I want her to narrate everything in my life.

She has the cutest voice. I want her to have a running commentary of everything that's going on. But in my head, she would use that voice to say bad words. I can't imagine her saying bad words in real life. After I met her, I was imagining her screaming at people in traffic.

You just sort of sit there and go, I wonder. Of course, it might just be. I like the look of awe and shock on her face. Almost everything you said was just hilarious. It made me feel like more of an awful person than I already am.

Yeah, as Randy was saying the things Randy usually says, it was somehow mortifying this poor girl. Oh, that's where I saw that guy from. The guy down there is the guy from Kroger. Where? He's way down there.

He's got kind of a beard. I was like, where the hell have I seen that guy? I was like, I know I don't get out much. I only go to work. Oh, yeah, I saw him earlier.

Yeah, I was like, dude, the guy's from Kroger. Okay, yeah, now I know who he is. I'm trying to think of people in my life. Okay, I go to work, and I go to Kroger. It might have been somebody from UPS.

Work, Kroger, conventions. That's all we do. I was like, no, it's not convention. Always waiting for Jay to tear off after somebody and beat their ass for money that they owe him. It's potential.

Sabini's not here. How much does he owe you? Three dollars. How does Sabini owe you three dollars? He can't count.

He can't count? That's all. I think he probably can. That's my guess. He's a scam artist.

I didn't realize until after. I left his booth. But yeah, Rose, wherever you are, if you're listening, which I doubt you are, ridiculously cute. Thank you. Rose, if you're listening, what was, was it Scott?

Scooter? Scooter. Okay, I was close. I abbreviated. Scooter, get her off the podcast and get her off to do something constructive.

No, no. Like working with injured children or something. She needs to be on our show every week. The only thing that can balance the evil that is the rest of Movie Meltdown. That's why he needs the gloves, so he can carry four beers at once.

Oh. Yeah. That's piss water. He's got like fucking lips in his shoes. I mean, okay, you're supposed to be a tough guy, but do you have to wear like four inch lips?

I mean, I'm a short guy. I don't need four-inch lips. You have to pretend to be a serial killer, I guess. Sorry, that hits a little close to home. Oh, she's there.

She's waving at us. Oh, my God. She should come say hello. You know, we need some theme music. Okay, begin the Rose theme.

Music right now. We were just discussing you in particular, so we're cueing the Rose theme music. Are you singing it? Yeah. Hi, guys.

Oh, my God. This is a momentous moment. I just got asked for my first autograph ever, and you're recording this moment like three minutes later. This is history in the making. This is history in the making.

20 years from now. 20 years from now when that girl is dressed like you, she'll listen back to this episode. It'll all come together. Oh, that makes sense. If she's dressed like me today, this is my sister's dress that she left at my house by mistake.

So I don't know how she'll find one and recreate it, but she can. Ask my sister. You just punched her and took her dress, didn't you? This is awesome. We've got Randy on the show now.

It's an accident. He just didn't run away fast enough. So this works, even with all this noise? Yeah, I don't like all the noise, but I deal with it. People, it's crazy here.

There's like a thousand people? Yeah, I think. Probably more. Probably more. Why are you not here?

Why are you listening to this? You should be here live with us. They can still listen to it. They can still listen. Don't encourage them not to listen.

No, please listen. We might be on the show again on Tuesdays. not pretty good. That's the plan. Were you talking about me as a Disney character? Yes.

No. No. That's okay. That's not. I totally was.

Oh, that's awesome. That's not exactly, like, a bad thing. As long as I'm not Jafar, like, the parrot, that would be bad. Gilbert Gottfried. Gilbert Gottfried.

You were the first one I thought of. Jafar and right to you. My favorite Disney movie is Little Mermaid. What are yours? Bambi.

Bambi is the saddest one. See, there he goes. I hate deer. I'm not trying to make you cry. I love the beginning when she gets killed, the mother gets killed.

That's my favorite part. I was attacked by a deer when I was five years old. at a petting zoo. Holy shit. He had it on tape. You can put it on your show.

It was filmed. It's hilarious. I'm, like, five. I'm, like, walking around, and out of nowhere, like, this deer just knocks me to the ground and starts, like, stampeding me to death. Of course, the camera falls.

Did that fuck up Chris's before you? Yeah, it failed. You know, we were. Going to sue, you know, but we didn't. You didn't press charges on the deal.

I think that if you try to sue a petting zoo, they tell your child, for every dollar you get, we'll shoot an animal. Right. Yeah, I would have been fine with it. I wanted my justice. Forever and ever.

You wanted to personally go out and take it out. One of my movies I want to make is The Deer Hunter 2. Right. And it's like a horror movie where I'm... the slasher character and the deer are like these teenage deer and they're going to summer camp and they're like. They're all horny they're trouble making you've got the first furry horror movie right there.

Exactly will they be horned but i want christopher walken to play me. Well who doesn't. You can't make it. Soon deer hunter 2 no one's done it i like it that's There's a market for that. Can I be in it?

What could I be? A bunny rabbit? Yeah, I'm going to be the rabbit. Rabbits are my favorite animal. Right, that is my favorite.

I love bunnies. How did I know that? It doesn't make sense that I really like bunnies. It's perfect. How much exposure have you had to bunnies?

That's what I want to know. Are they idealized bunnies or are they really running around on your back? I have this friend and she brings her bunny in which we will refer to for the remainder of this. Anecdote, is that fucking bunny. Okay.

Right? She put it on her bed with the dog, and the dog would, like, interact with the bunny, except the dog wasn't, like, geared to interact with the bunny, and the bunny would run around, and bunnies shit. And they shit opportunistically, viciously, and continuously. You know? They've got cute boobs that are, like, really round and.

Right. Well, she's like... I went and visited this friend. She's like, come on. We were up in her room. with her, you know, like, giant king bed.

She's watching TV, and her husband's there, and the bunny's running around shitting on everything, and it runs over and, like, bites me. Do you know what bunny teeth are like? They hurt. They're like this. Yeah.

For those. Bunny pipe on the Holy Grail. No, they're like. Bunny pipe on the Holy Grail. They're teeth bite on.

I thought he said bunny pipe on the Holy Grail. I've heard of Monty Python. Are you sure? Yeah, they did Spamalot, too. Yes, it's part of the franchise.

And there's that thing about I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay. Is that from it? That's Monty Python, yes. You've got a little bonus points. Gosh, I'm truly trying to get in the club here, people.

What is the plot of Star Wars? Tell me the story. What's going on? Let's hear it. This would be gross who's never seen Star Wars.

This is always a fun game. Okay. There's, like, this guy, and he's going to go to another planet, and there's a princess he has to save, and he has a dad that's, like, an evil guy, and then there's, like, a little midget man who's, like, a dwarf that's, like, really wise, and he, like, helps him out, and they shoot things, and somebody's called Obi-Kenobi, and at the end he saves the princess. And I've seen Meatballs. What's that name in the movie?

Spaceballs? Spaceballs! One of my ex-boyfriends made me watch that. And at the end of the movie, he was laughing all the time. I was like, what's up with this?

He's like, well, you know, Star Wars. I'm like, I haven't seen Star Wars. So it didn't make any sense to me the whole time. I forgot it. Was that close?

Now tell me the plot of Meatballs. Oh my gosh, I don't remember. I don't even think there's meatballs in... Oh, there's a... And there's a song about meatballs, but on top of.

All covered with cheese. Thank you, Misty. That could be a great movie, Meatballs. It could be about a band. Isn't there.

Oh, no, that's Meat Loaf. There is a. A band called Meat Loaf. There it is. All right.

Oh, I love Bill Murray. We just saw him on TV yesterday. By the way, there's this amazing video that everyone should YouTube. I'm not kidding. It's, like, the top ten.

Moments that were candid, like, they were just improv moments. And they're, like, the most famous scenes of these epic movies. So, for example... I'm walking here, you know? Robert De Niro.

That cab went through all the signs. That was Robert De Niro. It was. What did I say? Dustin Hoffman.

Oh, I meant Robert. No, I meant Dustin Hoffman. She's referring to Midnight Cowboy. I'm going to be so embarrassed one day. Like, when I...

Okay. Yeah, hopefully. So, yeah. I'm walking here. The taxi cab.

Just, like, did not read the filming signs. It just went through, and that's what he improvised. Then, okay, well, just watch the studio. Find it on YouTube. It's really good.

It is really good. And, like, singing in the rain. What movie is that from? Sing like in the rain. Yeah, that was all improvised.

I'm looking at you, kid. Who's that? Robert De Niro. Casablanca. Oh, God.

Okay, whatever. Just watch the movie. I haven't seen that either. Watch a whole. Bunch of movies.

I need to watch a whole bunch of movies. All of them with Robert De Niro. Maybe we should have. People write, since I haven't seen that many movies, their top ten movies that Rose should watch. And I'll watch all of them someday.

This could be interesting, and people will probably be very mean and put horrible things on it. Please don't put the happening. I did not like the happening. I did not like Antichrist. I did not like happening in the woods.

Everyone's going to be upset about that. So no Wahlberg as a teacher and no genital mutilation. No genital mutilation. Thank you. Thanks for clearing that up.

Well, that takes three off my list already. But I will see Troll 2 if you request it. I kind of want to. I think you just want to. Well, I like doing extreme things.

Like, I don't like spicy food. Like, I think Chipotle is spicy with no sauces on it. Like, just the chicken is spicy for me. But someone was like, this is the hottest. This was in Louisville at this restaurant called the City Station in Northern Commons.

They were like, this is the hottest hot sauce in the world. And I tried it because I was like, if you're going to do it, go all. The way, right? You understand. Yeah, go big or go home.

So I watched the words. I heard steam coming out of your head. I called for milk because my dad lives in China. And I had just read an article in China that said, like, it's spicy. Water is the worst thing you can do.

It just spreads it. You have to have milk. So I was like, no. And then we drank so much milk that the next day we had to bring a gallon of milk. To the restaurant and be like thanks for.

The milk actually coming from your mouth at this point as you're yelling for milk that would have been like a cartoon. Like a cartoon like looney tunes style. She's disney she's looney tunes she kind of encompasses all cartoons. I am a cartoon i'm not right oh thank. You there's some cartoon character you sound like though it's either like Olive oil?

No. Thank you. No. It's not olive oil. It's terrible.

It's like, it's the squeaky one. Somebody's short. How about the mouse in the Space Jam? Or like, there's like, is there a mouse? Oh, dear God.

First of all, don't watch Space Jam. I've seen Space Jam. Can you unsee that one somehow? Hey, I was like eight, like, or whatever, however old I was. Bill Murray's also in that movie.

Bill Murray's in that? He plays one of the characters. No, all I remember is Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley and some alien creatures that aren't mice. I said mice. They're not mice.

I just realized that. Someone pointed out recently, it was funny, that Bill Murray was known to be a comedian, and now he's a dramatic actor, and he's actually good. And then Robert De Niro's a dramatic actor who's trying to be a comedy. Actor, and he's just awful. Yeah, it's sort of ruined his career.

Moment of silence, everyone. In remembrance of Robert De Niro as a fine actor. Five minutes. Better be there when we get back. Up steps to the floor, I share a teenage dream.

Boys living their soul, I never want they see. A walk in the park can become a bad dream. People are staring and following me. This is my only escape from it all. Watching a film or a face on a wall.

Bye. Bye. Italian Robert De Niro's waiting Talking Italian Robert De Niro's waiting Talking Italian. Popcorn hungry, we have it. Kettle from the popper.

There are other treats for you, too, such as fresh candies and ice cream. Visit the refreshment center now. Enjoy a delicious snack and ice cold Coca-Cola. Okay, Carol, now you take these notes and then we're about ready to begin. Okay, sure.

What are you two doing here? We don't record until tomorrow. We're making a new promo for All Games Considered, since you were dragging your feet getting one written. Hey, she's right, though. It's been too long, and a lot has happened since the last promo.

Yeah, like winning the gold NE for Best Gaming Podcast for 2009. You mean the one you try to work into the conversation every other episode? Hey, now, now, there's more than that. There's the new format. You mean the main show every two weeks and the assortment of other features in the meantime?

Right, like games you may never have heard of, the review in new shows. Don't forget the RPG buffet. And on the main show, we have more time to focus on gaming topics. Like board and card games. And RPGs.

And the people who play them from the old school to the newest of the new. But no changeling. Hey! Find out more at agcpodcast.info all games considered, because there's more than one true way to play. Don't try to.

Change me, you're wasting your time. Now I've got something much better in mind. We need to get back in time for your. Q & A though. What time is that?

I set an alarm. I kind of. I figured you for the detail guarantees. I'm usually not. There are no butterflies.

I delegate that usually. Oh, at the time and stuff? I think that you are a singularly wonderful human being. Who is easily distractible. Oh, I, like they didn't have ADD when I was little.

You have like super ADD. Oh. Like someone could come in to rob a bank and you'd be like, look at that lamp. I like the color of your shirt. That's a really great, who ever thought money came in bags like that and you would install them until the cops got there.

Yeah, everything would be great. Right. Like everyone would get out and be free and happy and I would never have known they were robbing the bank. Right. Can I ask about this t-shirt?

Yes. Who is John Carpenter, and how was he your babysitter? I don't have to answer that part, right? The babysitter part, yes, but who. Is John Carpenter, I don't know what to do with it.

He's a horror director. He directed Halloween... Power of other films. Okay, I'm getting upset because I think I'm going to be known as the dumb blonde of your show. You are not dumb nor blonde.

Thank you. You're just very special. I grew up in other countries, people, and my father thought TV ratted your brain. It kind of does. Whenever we watched TV, it was always, like, a man for all seasons, or, like, Ben-Hur, so you can't, like, you can't.

Be upset at me for not having watched that many films. Like, imagine being eight watching this stuff, you know? It's a bit intense. You get it, Randy, right? Yeah, but we're not bringing my childhood up.

This is your childhood. We can't handle that much horror. The couch only takes one person at a time. No waiting. I need a psychologist to make them happy.

That's what the show can be for you. Each week will be a session. You'll sit down and go into God knows what. So, you know. Okay, so we did Halloween.

Amongst other things. Did I see that? Yeah. Oh, that was the movie that when he went upstairs, I fast-forwarded it. And then it came down.

Actually, I re-watched it recently, and I was like, this is kind of just, it's not as good. It doesn't hold up. Yeah. Because it's like the only thing they do is like, oh, he's there in the corner, like staring at them. Yeah.

Sean and I. It doesn't actually, it's a slow burn until the end. It's a slow burn, but it still holds up for me. I'm still pretty taken with it that reminds. Me so when I was little the scariest movie okay so we lived in a townhouse it was like five floors but really like thin in space and I was on the last floor my parents were on the first floor and like they were like come downstairs but I waited and it was like this movie started playing and it.

Was called It and It was so scary. Like, I didn't watch the whole thing. So, like, two years ago, a friend and I started watching it, and it's not scary at all. I think it, like, doesn't age well, right? It's like one of those films.

It's scary up to the point when you find out it's just a big spider, and then you're like. It was a spider? Yeah. I don't remember that part. The clown part, very, very, yeah.

Yeah, like, it drags on. At the end. Yeah. Pennywise scarred many children over the years. Yeah, because he can come from anywhere.

It's not like, oh, he has to come through my front door. He could be in my closet right now. He might be. Fair. But he doesn't want me anywhere because now I'm older.

But I still have the youngest organs in his house, so maybe he would want me. He might. I didn't know that he shopped by organ. That's good to know. He does.

He, like, smells the organs. Isn't that what he does? Why can't he just purchase organs? Why does he have to? I don't know, because that's how Stephen King wrote it.

See, Stephen King wrote it. I knew it. There's that place at the mall that sells organs. I mean, you could just go get one of those. You know, having a conversation with you is like playing handball against, like, a wacky, rubbery substance.

You have no idea where it's going to go when you hit it. It's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is that a good thing? That's a good thing.

This is a singular conversational experience. I can't believe this is going to be recorded for my first time. Oh, pass it on for all. So my dad's love, not much TV, has made me an interesting person somehow. It gave your pond death.

Oh, so the dumb blonde act is deep. Thank you. Oh. About him being a babysitter. That's what I was going to say.

If you've ever met that guy, Fred... Yeah. Deadhead Fred? Dead right Fred? No, like Fred on our show, Fred.

Oh, Fred. I know Fred. Fred's awesome. Fred is awesome. And when he was younger, he grew up in the town where John went to college.

And his parents. Were teachers at the school, and Fred's parents were teachers at the school. And they were like. Well, we'd like to hang out, but there's no way to. Watch the kids.

Oh, John will watch the kids for you. Because he's a great babysitter. Because he has a large, sick mind. Yeah, and that's why Fred's like he is. Wow.

John Carpenter messed him. Up a lot. Who would be a worse babysitter? I think Lars von Trier would be a worse babysitter. You may have a point.

No. You'd be a terrible... You'd. Be, like, your parents would come home and you'd have, like, a knife to your wrist and they're like, I got him this time, you know? Like, you'd be, like, melancholy-o, like.

That was really sad. He's a cheery guy, that Lars. You took the brass ring. I can't even come up with anybody once you put Von Trier on the top shelf. Michael Haneke is also pretty.

Yeah, he's another cheery character. Cash, and also Funny Games, and Teacher. And also that other movie about two sisters that are like terrible. What was it? It was Bergman.

That was pretty sad, too. But that was bad, The Piano Teacher. Not bad, like bad, like bad, bad, like sad. I got some point watching Bergman. I've seen more.

Depressing movies about incest. Wait, your movie's kind of about that. Your movie's kind of a depressing movie about. Spoiler alert! Goddamn!

That's like. We softened it. We've already done a show about this. Yeah. I don't think we mentioned that.

Well, that's like the tenth layer. Well, through Glass Darkly was kind of a semi-influence because I was kind of into that when I was writing the movie. But not really. Yeah. I feel like we're blocking people from coming up to your table.

Yeah, nobody cares, really. We came here three times. Randy came here from Baltimore. Why would you say that? We came here from LA.

I can't talk sense into you people. And you can't discuss sexual dysfunction dynamic movies until you've seen The Skin I Live In. Oh, the Spanish one. I want to see that. Is that really messed up?

It's magnificent. I like it. I like that director. Yeah i hope i said that right we went to a uh a q a with the nominations for the golden globe porn. Awards he was there.

Yeah you went for angelina. You went for angelina I went through the other four directors. Oh, and that guy from Separation was there. Separate, they won the Oscar for best film, which. I want to see.

But at the end, there's like 500 people in there. And I'm not big on celebrities. I just was like, hey, I could see Angelina. I want to see Angelina. It's great.

It was so fun. Yeah. So there's like 500 people in there. And every question, these other people are such well-established directors. And this is her first film.

And everyone's, um, Miss Angelina, like, uh, like, every question, it was like a 20-year-old boy. One guy didn't even know, like, what he was going to ask before. He was just like, what do I know? He was like, yeah, um, Angelina. Um, so your movie, uh, you directed it, and, uh, you're so awesome, Angelina, I love you.

Yeah, Tomb Raider, Tomb, Tomb Raider? Okay, I got it. Tomb Raider, yeah. I know it's Tomb something. Laura Croft, is that the same movie?

Yes. Okay, I haven't seen that. I've not seen that. It's good. But I have eyes, like I see billboards and things.

I still think the CGI Lara Croft from the video games is hotter than. Angelina Jolie in this. As Lara Croft yeah those just didn't work on so many levels. I think you're on a slippery slope when you start talking about like which video game character is best to spend. No we're at a convention I think you'll get that argument like at every other table which video game and they'll.

Say a different thing yeah I just liked her accent. Better yeah that's true yeah the video games the newest one's really hot the new Lara Croft I don't know what system it's for but they like They toned her down a little bit. I could control her on a video game, you know? So, here goes. That's what you're looking for.

Come out of the TV. Come out of the TV. And that happened, right? Yeah. That never happened.

That might be like that in the future. I feel like cooking shows, that would be awesome. Like, you're watching them and at the end, like, press button, $ 20. 99, you get the meal. Like, it comes out.

That would be awesome. Why $ 20. 99? That was expensive. Whatever.

Inflation. It's a gourmet. Right, inflation. You know, you never know. I want Giada to make us, I want Giada De Laurentiis to make me dinner.

I saw her at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market. Isn't she so, oh my God. She was awesome because I'm Italian, right? So I asked, she's Italian. What are you?

Okay. She's Spanish, Thai, Italian. My dad, my dad's Italian-American, but from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And my mother's from Italy. It was actually kind of like the godfather.

Like, he went home, like, and met this little Italian girl who didn't speak any English. And I was like watching The Godfather for the first time two years ago. I was like, wow, because he kind of looks like my dad, Al Pacino. Wow, this is so amazing. Boom!

The car blows up right at that moment. I was so upset. Daddy! And you speak Italian. Yes, I speak Italian the way I speak English.

Oh, God. Oh, my God. Say something so cute. I said, I love all the people from Movie Meltdown. Plus Randy.

Oh, wow. And I'm over here trying to think if I could surreptitiously get the guy with the pig mask. To sneak up behind you. I wouldn't have done anything. It would have been him.

I was just sitting here. I've been like doing nothing. But he's got, his view is like down here where his nostrils are. So he can't see me. But I've been over here frantically doing the eyebrow for nothing.

You know what would be hilarious? If someone from like the 1600s was like time transported here. Like to this place. They would die. What is this?

Like I wish you had a video camera. Because like everyone should see this. Like the people that are walking by. They're weirdos. No, I mean they're intense.

I like intensity. Whatever you're intense about, that's good. Really? Anything? Follow that logic, girl.

I mean, they really care about you. Thanks for an interesting night on the Saturday drunk tank. They're passionate. I'm passionate about it. Passionate can be a step back, all right.

That's a little more. In control, I suppose. Or not. That would. Make a really good movie.

Like someone from the 1600s gets transported to a zombie movie. Set or something. I'm pretty sure they would just have a heart attack and die. That would be terrible. It would blow their mind and they would have some sort of aneurysm.

I feel like we have the six most normal outfits here. We're dorks, is what you're saying. It's okay. We're counter-cultural within the sub-culture of the counter-culture. We're fighting back against the counter-culture.

But Misty has an awesome purse. It has a watermelon with a sad face on it as a keychain. Because you got this. That's her interpretation that it's a sad watermelon. That's still up to Depay.

The mouth would be. It's even crying. It's not crying. It's juicy. Oh, yeah.

That way it does because it's got that. those are just those are just accidental scene line up it's not sad but the blatant. Worry in his eyes you need to like know what time you need to. Go back up I put a timer. On oh good your parents will. Have a fit you know like and now director's Good or Daddy.

And now, here's your parents. Yeah, they go back. They're like, I don't know, we told him not to make movies. The birth was a long and painful process. They'll start there.

Hopefully he'll come back. Before they reach 26 years. Yeah. We'll kill a little time until he gets here. So when he's a kid, he'll listen to this story.

They'll tell the dear story, but that's already on this show first. So you guys have got like. Exclusive. I should just put that on YouTube because I know it would be a big hit. It would become viral, so that would be the only way I could promote my movie.

That's how you spread the word. So speaking of things that should be on YouTube, Misty's squirrel. We have talked previously about the squirrel, but I think we promised pictures. There's got to be. Some kind of novelty.

You've got to get it when it's humping. Your arm or something. No, why does it have to always go across? It has to be the lowest common denominator. You can't see the look of horror in Misty's eyes right now.

That's what you're missing. This is her child. Like, what's wrong with you? Eli's been vastly covered there. I'm just throwing out ideas.

I'm an idea man. Not a good idea man. I like my idea about this thing. It's really hard to get a little bed that size. There's the famous YouTube.

One of the squirrel on the jet skis, right? That's a classic. So you gotta think of something Who made a. Jet ski this big? It's a little motorized boat Oh, like the things at the fair.

It's pretty hilarious. You've been to fairs! Yay! It's something I've done! You're not a total chef Can you speak Italian?

I've been taking flowers for like 16 years. Like a chastity belt and a big wire fence around me. And flowers And butterflies Yay, butterflies! You have a bunch of flowers Is that a butterfly? It's a moth, more accurately.

It's kind of like a butterfly. Thank you. She's from the land of. Butterflies and bunnies. Yes, she is.

Butterflies and bunnies. The Greek symbol for the psyche is the butterfly. It explains a lot, doesn't it? Something wrapped up. I'm just sitting here.

I'm just glad we got to know you guys before you had bathroom guards. You haven't seen that. We've been sitting here watching. The guy that walks with the Norman guy? Someday you'll have one of those people.

Both of you. Can it be, like. I'm not going to have a bathroom attendant. Can it be him? Can he be my bathroom attendant?

I'll have a bathroom attendant, you know? Just to hand you the paper towels. Have you ever had a bathroom attendant? I mean, you know, you feel it. I went to, like, a scummy club in Baltimore and we had a bathroom attendant.

It was the saddest thing because he had, like, this alchemy shelf of, like, 500 different things and it was clearly marketed to, like, we will try to help you get laid. You're right. Right, like all the sprays. I was like, watch, it was a Reverend Horton heat show at a rock venue, and they had this guy. Yeah, I know.

That would get Jay. You know, it's a rockabilly show, and this guy's sitting there, this old feller with like 61 different bottles, and I'm like, sorry, I brought my own. You brought your own, and you got like all the stuff. I was actually referring to my woman. Oh.

Well, nobody else there has one of those. Oh, man. Local gringos like a party with five heads of hay Jumpin' in the dumpster with head bails Local gringos like a party and they. Like it when it. Burns And when they drink tequila, they fight for the worms.

Fruit flies showed me the beginning of life. Cutting up wines with. A dull butter knife. Local gringos like a party with five of us. Jumping in the dumpster with Pepe Ole.

Local gringos like a party and they like their women firm. And when they drink tequila, they fight. For the worms. The most terrifying form of evil is that which lurks within the human mind. This is Asylum.

The incurably insane. Asylum. The ultimate in horror. Asylum. The prison of madness.

Where few enter and none return. Asylum. Filled with stark, raving terror. From Robert Block, author of Psycho. See Asylum.

You have nothing to lose but your mind. Asylum. From Cinerama Releasing. Rated PG. Parental guidance suggested.

Hush-a-bye, don't you cry. Go to sleep, you little baby. When you wake, you shall have cake and all the pretty little horses. Black sandals, dappling grapes, all the pretty little horses. When mama loves, daddy loves, only love the little baby.

When you wake, you shell of cake, all the pretty little horses. Black sandals, dappling rays, all the pretty little horses. We're here with Christine Klee. I was going to get into the early stuff, and from what I had seen, you were one of the girls that was into horses when you were young. I was, yes.

I horseback rode pretty much my. Whole life, since I was six. Just since we're in horse country at this point, I suppose. I didn't know if you make it here for any of the racing or any of that kind of stuff. I have never made it down here to see the horses or the races, but I would love to.

Believe me, like, if I, even if I could stay now, I'd, you know, like to drive around and see some of the nice farms around here. Yeah, there's a ridiculous amount of horse farms, depending on where you go. Probably, like, everyone down here, like, hates horses because it's all over the place. But meanwhile, like, I'm, well, I'm from the east, you know, northeast. It's a pretty big horse country there as well, I.

Guess, but. Got a lot of breeders in New York, too. Yeah, yeah. So I guess which, because. You were sort of into that, going into that almost, you know, professionally at some point, which came first, the love for that or acting, or did one take from the other?

You know, probably, I definitely was. Horseback riding first, but then I didn't really, I definitely horses first, and then as I was around, like, I started to act more professionally in off-Broadway stuff, in like theater stuff in New York. And that was difficult to balance with horseback riding because both of them were weekend activities. So they had to, yeah. I guess at that point, did you already have an interest in the shooting, in that getting into the directing somewhere down the line?

Did you already kind of see that you were interested in that as well? I actually have to say that I always wanted to be an actor, and I always wanted to be on stage, and I never really did think about directing. I thought about... I directed... I would.

Direct myself and my friends in theater, in, like, little skits and stuff, but... Oh, and I directed theater in college. But after that, I really... I was interested. In co-creating things and collaborating, but I never...

I never really. was one of those kids that ran around with a camera, which maybe that means I'm not. Going to be a great director, but I don't know. As you got into it, did you have a specific. Because you did a lot of theater, and you were pretty well versed in the theater end of it. I guess what steered you towards film?

What drew me towards film is not ever making a paycheck in theater. So after I realized that there was not going to be any hope for me being in a really well-known musical in New York City, and I couldn't make equity wages, I decided to get into film and TV. No, I mean, it's just a natural progression. I think. My first love is still theater.

I know I've talked to a lot of people that have sort of found their own in the indie scene, and I didn't know if... I always kind of question, because some of them seem like they're specifically geared. Towards the indie scene versus studio stuff. Did you have a path that you wanted to go, or is it just finding work? Some people have a very specific set mindset that they want to do indie films and steer with that.

Yeah, that's actually a really interesting question that I don't think anybody's ever asked me before. I definitely, in my mind... had the idea that I would do independent film. I never even watched TV and I never wanted to do TV. I didn't even know anything about TV shows. I also did not expect to become involved in the horror genre.

I'm always honest about this, but I never watched horror movies. I never watched a lot of movies. I always went to see live theater, live music, or I went to, you know, museums. I didn't even own a television, so... Or my parents did, but it was in their bedroom, so....

I never imagined myself. I was definitely, yes, much more involved from the theater going into an independent film. That seemed like the natural progression. And instead, I got cast in Rob Zombie's Halloween the minute I went into Hollywood, so. I got thrown right into the ringer.

Yeah, because in that year, you're in, like, Halloween and then Peter and Vandy, which is, like, the polar opposite. Very much so the polar opposite. And I think ever since Halloween, I've still probably done much more indie film or European co-productions, more like than I have done big studio films. Not that, believe me, I would love to do another big studio film. Yeah.

And it'll happen soon, you know, but. Definitely indie film has been more my path. We've had Jess Wexler on the show a couple of times. I love Jess. Everybody loves her.

We kind of adopted her as a cast member. I don't know if she liked it. I'm working with Joe Swanberg on my next movie. He and Jess were both members of Mumblecore. Now that I'm in NYU as a director, I hear much more about all the Mumblecore and all the indie actresses and Everybody only wants to work with the indie actresses, and I'm not really a part of the indie actor scene or a part of the studio scene.

I'm somewhere that falls in between everything. But now, this movie I'm shooting this summer with Zach Parkers directing it, it's called Proxy. It'll be cool because the other actors are very indie scene actors, so hopefully. It'll... be a crossover movie for both of us them into horror me into indie. Yeah well again i mean i guess just to do a little on halloween and rob zombie is such an interesting character i guess how is he as a director i know i've had i think as a visual director he's amazing but some of his quite i don't know i have issues with some of the choices he makes i didn't know what working with him was like on a shoot.

Oh i mean i personally would never question a director's uh, vision or a director's, uh, choices on a set. So I, I wouldn't even like, I mean, unless they were like awful and I really noticed that, but I mean, no, he, I would never, I, I never questioned his choices and I think he's amazing director. I do. Um, working with him is very, it's, it's a great experience because he's, It's a very comforting, very comfortable set where people are allowed. To kind of blossom as actors.

I feel like we were allowed to improvise. He wanted us to be the best we could be. So if that meant changing a line or making something sound more natural, he was. Very open to that. And he's a very calm kind of presence.

On set. So it feels like you're in really good hands. Well, not having or watching TV much, I guess, had you even seen the original run of Halloween? I had not seen it until I got cast in this Halloween. And then I actually started watching it and still didn't finish watching it because I didn't want to be influenced.

By the original characters. So, of course, since then I've watched it and watched many other horror movies for the first time since then. You've been corrupted, basically. I mean, I had watched The Shining and Nightmare on Elm Street totally messed me up when I was a kid. So I had watched that at a friend's house on a sleepover and then had nightmares forever and couldn't tell my parents because I wasn't allowed to watch movies like that.

So... But did you know what you were getting into? Once you're kind of in that horror world, the fans are very, you know, receiving, and you kind of have that fan base. So I guess going in, you didn't know you were getting into it? I had no idea.

No, I had no, absolutely no idea. Even still today, sometimes I'm amazed and very grateful for the fans that have, like, honestly made me be able to work and to. Continue to work because... People. Do notice that, and people know that that's a really big deal when they're making their movies.

I had no idea, and it couldn't have been more lucky for me, and I'm very grateful. I did want to hit just a couple others. I just watched Chillerama. You as Eva Braun is pretty amazing. Just anybody that refers to Hitler as Boo Bear.

It's quite an undertaking. Right. Well, we had so much fun on that shoot. Adam Green really wrote a very fantastic script that was very funny and Joel David Moore did a great performance and so I think that just came together as a really. Everybody just did a great job.

It's just fun, yeah. And historically accurate. It's a documentary, right? Sure, it's a documentary. Because Ava Brown was a slut who slept with all the soldiers.

I mean, it is kind of accurate that Hitler was impotent, right? As we all do kind of believe. A little power trip, yeah. Compensating in some other way. That's why he was...

So fucked up. At what point did you realize you kind of wanted to focus more on directing. And get into that? Well, I can say this. I was on the set of a movie named called Bella Kiss, which I played the lead in.

And I. Loved that character. And I think the movie is going to end up being really great. It comes out theatrically in Germany this fall. However, the way that the production was handled was so awful.

And I'm saying this honestly now because I. Never talk badly about anybody. But the way that this was handled was unbelievable. And I was on that set and I just thought, you. Know, this is a thesis film for these students.

They're getting all these actors for nothing. And they're treating us so badly. And I thought, you know what, that's it. Like, I'm going to direct movies and I'm going to treat my actors amazing. And I'm going to just like, I can do this.

Like, I can do this better than them. Okay, now, granted, now having directed, I don't think I can do it better. But, because I know now how hard it is. And that's a very arrogant way to come at it as. However, I will always treat people on my sets differently. a hundred million times better than they did, and I stand by that.

It's driven, and it at least gives you something to work towards. Yeah, it's probably good. Yeah. And I guess just getting into that one, I mean, what inspired. This new movie, As Human as Animal?

What, I guess, brought that. And by the way, let me just clarify also. I had thought about going to school for directing and directing stuff before that set. I mean, it's not like that was the first time I thought about directing. There are so many stories I want to tell.

My whole life, I mean, I've always been writing. It was just that was what pushed it to the edge. So let me clarify. The last straw. But so what inspired As Human as Animal?

Well, it was an exercise actually that we were given in school. But I don't know. I just came up with this idea over the summer. They had already told us what to think about. And I was in London and I just thought about.

For some reason it just came to me. I don't even know how it came to me. This image of a man sitting on a porch eating a steak. And I imagine it kind of being shot in Once Upon a Time in the West style, with that really Western close-ups on this guy's face. And you pull out, and there's his dead wife, and he's eating a steak next to her.

And the sound of the flies was overwhelming. So that was where my idea came from. I'm glad I was able to execute it. Visually, it's really good. You already, I think, have a really good grasp on just style and even just putting shots together.

That shot, because I'm a sucker just for very specific shots, and that shot of him sitting down in the chair is perfectly. Framed and set up. It's really good, just the basics of that. Thank you. I'm actually interested to see, if you want to get into feature, just to see what you're looking at.

So that is the next... stage somewhere down the line? Yeah, I mean, I would love to direct a feature. I'm very intimidated by the prospect, but I think if you're not intimidated, like, I used to say, if I'm not nervous before I'm going up on stage, or, I mean, actually it was always stage, because I don't get so nervous. I get more, I don't get stage fright on films, I get other kind of nervous, but like, I was saying, if I don't get nervous before I go on stage, I'm not, I'm doing something wrong. You know what I mean?

Like, then I'm not worried enough about doing a good job. Because I think when you're nervous, you end up doing a better job because, you know, you care about it. So. Do you have... Is it still all, like, schooling-based?

Are you still going through school and stuff at this point? I still have two years left at NYU, um. I'm not going to lie it's really really difficult to balance acting and going to school like directing because you're not only just going to school you're also making movies and you're crewing on other people's projects there's really no time to do to act and I don't ever want to let my acting go so it's been it's been a it's been a balancing a tightrope act I don't know what we call that but. It's a lot to deal with yeah Well, I guess if you've got new projects coming, acting-wise, you want. To tell people about?

Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm about to start shooting Proxy with Zach Parker, and the cast is Alexia Rasmussen, Alexa Havens, Joe Swanberg, and myself play the leads. And it's a really fucked-up movie. I can't even tell you. What it's about, because number one would ruin it, but number two, it's complicated.

So. But all I can say is, like, it's a great script. And Zach is a great director. He directed Scalene. And I know he's going to do a great job with it.

All I'm going to say is I have lots of tattoos in this movie. cut my hair off but I don't know if that's going to happen and I play a real toughy a real fucked up chick so. That'll be fun yeah it's going to be a real script. I mean I'm not that I guess I am fucked up like psychologically probably like I'm really weird fucked up but I'm not like a fucked up person like I'm a pretty like grounded person who just like thinks a little differently you know. And I'm definitely not a fighter. I don't like violence.

You seem very well behaved this weekend. I know. You haven't beaten anybody down that I've seen. Yeah, that's what you think. They're all in my hotel room.

Except for that Diamond Dallas Page guy. I drag them up there. You smack Diamond Dallas Page around sometimes. I do. But he's asking for it.

I do smack him around. You know why? Because he is asking for it. He's running around as if he owns the place. Putting on a show.

All that confidence, you know. And he's mad that in your film he's upstaged. By Brady. By Brady, yes. He is upset that he got upstaged by my dog.

That's what it is. Your dog upstaged him. He's mad about it. He was mad about that on set. He's like, get that dog out of here.

He's a pretty good actor, actually. Brady Kleeb. The new Terminator. They need to reboot that, yeah. The dog Terminator.

The dog Terminator. That'll be good. Uh otherwise is there anything um like should people try to find you online or is there a website for anything coming up you want to tell people about or. Um i would just say please follow me on twitter i don't know why but like my facebook is full so now let's let's try this twitter thing i need more i need more communication on twitter it's at christina cleave uh and um imdb check out my next projects oh and i'm also i would like to promote this i'm I'm doing a charity thing for Bowling for Boobies. It's a.

Man, I'm trying to raise money, but I don't know... We just started this. I don't even know what my website is. It's to raise money for women in L.A. who are dealing with breast cancer. And.

You can find, ah, man, where can you find the link to that? I don't know. Okay, I'll Twitter it. I'll Twitter it. So when I tweet it, you've got to come help out and help support these women that we're trying to raise money for.

Sounds good. All right. Okay. Thank you for talking with me. Okay, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. So messed up, I want you here. In my room, I want you here. Now we're gonna be face to face.

And I'll lay right down in my favorite place. And now I want to be your dog. And now I want to be your dog. And now I want to be your. Dog.

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Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping. Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. You got a friend in me. You got a.

Friend in me When the road looks rough ahead And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed Just remember what. Your old pal said Yeah, you got a friend in me Yeah, you got. A friend in me. Let's talk about your new show that you started watching, Scooter, that you tried to make me watch yesterday called the Ricky Gervais something or other. The Ricky Gervais show, yeah, it's great.

Yeah, but it's like about how they're making fun of their friend. Yeah, they're kind of jerks, they do that. Right? We would never make fun of someone on this show. Just listen to this episode.

Yeah, I get a borderline wondering what you said about me. Before you did that. You need to find your own girl. Content, you know. I like your brush.

And your hair. I'm like, it's so pink and pretty and bright. I like can't stop looking at her brushing her hair. My Selena Gomez hairbrush. I'm kind of badass.

I shaved my head once like four years ago. Would you expect me to do that? Well, you're kind of intense. Oh, me. But did you have a nicely shaped bald head?

Because I hate it when people shave their head and they have weird lumps. You didn't have any weird lumps? No, I don't. My mother. See, someone said that means my mother...

Like, your mother flipped you a lot when you were a baby. Because, like. Well, yeah, because your head's so malleable, right? So if you. You should know.

Yeah, people. Like, there's the cone heads. If you don't flip your baby, they'll have a flat head. You get stuck in the birth canal. You get that sort of...

I thought that was because your parents gave you that. They just press down on your head. Until you become normal again. I have a friend who's a prenatal chiropractor that realigns people's skull plates. Before they're even born?

No, after they come out. Otherwise, it would be kind of hard. She could probably make some extra money. Oh, it's all perfect. Just don't push real hard.

There's no guarantee on this. We were talking about how I shaved my head. Because I was saying, you guys think I'm so sweet, but I shaved my. Head three years ago. What prompted this action?

Lice? Because I'm looking at her beautiful hair. No, what prompted the head shave? No, that's why I was thinking about hair. No, I don't know.

Lots of various things. I felt like, what is a girl? Does she have to. Have long hair? What is a girl?

These are the things that go on in your head. Am I defying my hair? Because people always say, oh, I love your hair. There's a statement against patriarchy. Yeah, something like that.

Are you retrofitting things to make this sound cooler? No, I didn't. And also, your hair holds your past. If you think about it, this part of my hair probably grew in 2010. So I was like, I'm done with my past.

And I just wanted to do it when I was still young and maybe I had a 50-50 chance of looking okay at it. So, yeah, that's what it is. You're just young and wild and impetuous. Carefree. It was better than going to class.

Good word of the day. He's a writer. Yeah, I know. I can tell. He keeps putting subtext on things I wouldn't have put subtext on.

Or may not have been there, really. But I'll go with it. All right. Do you think it's everywhere you go, Brian, in case you have an amazing, candid moment? Anywhere we run into you, we need it, really.

Because last time I didn't have it, there was like an entire show. It's so true. I was so shy the first time I was on. Well, because I didn't expect to be on, and you talked about 400 movies, and I hadn't seen any of them. And then as soon as I went home, I go on the website, and the last movie you just reviewed, I'd seen, and I was like, one in ten people have seen Timers.

I was like, why did we talk about that movie? The other nine were sitting on our show talking about it. Yeah, exactly. Have you seen Timers, Posty? No.

It's actually, it's on Netflix instead. I liked it. It's got Emma Caulfield. She's pretty awesome. She's afraid of bunnies, so it's okay.

She is afraid of bunnies. Because you are a bunny. I like when you have, like, a really high concept sci-fi or whatever horror, and you just make it about the characters kind of living. It's good. It was interesting, because they could have gone a couple different ways with that, and they went a very unconventional way.

Yeah. It had its issues, but it was pretty interesting. He has to pee a lot. That's what I'm going to say. He's walked by four times since I've been here.

Well, the awesome thing is it almost looks like they're holding hands because when they first walked by, the guard's hand was back. You know, and I think there's a guy rule that says you don't walk in sync with another guy unless you're in a boy band. Right. And your shirt's half open. In India, right, they hold hands.

The guys hold hands together. No, it's in Malaysia. Malaysia. I've seen that in Malaysia. Well, that's because elephants will come out of nowhere and snatch you up if someone isn't.

There to hold on. Elephants are mean? Elephants actually, if you want some facts, are the most deadly animal in the zoo. Yes. In a zoo or in the wild?

Well, in the wild, too. But in the zoo, the animals that have killed the most people are clearly the elephants. Because they step on them. There you go. Actually, they'll put their head on you and mush you.

We call that making a people hat. Yes. And when they get angry and they're like, I'm sick of living in a zoo or a circus, they will kill you. They'll go on a rampage. They're pissed off.

It's always cool for the audience that happens to be there that day. On the safe other side with the trainers like banging on the freshly locked door. If you like this, it's gore. You'd be like, it's gore. Who cares?

I've seen this guts flying. If you think about it, like, Alexander the Great riding on elephants, that had to have been one of the coolest battles ever. Can you imagine a bunch of angry elephants destroying things? Can you imagine being on the opposite side of that scene, that coming at you? I'm trying to think.

The battles, don't quote me, I'm ballparking, but it was Hannibal versus the Greeks, I think. And there was one battle where they lured. Never mind, I'm going to drop it. Well, no, in the middle of that she went, not Hannibal, Lex. No, no, no.

No, no. I couldn't focus. They basically lured these guys into a valley and then blocked them all off, and they couldn't move, this whole army. And they had to sit there and watch their friends get slaughtered, because you're all on foot, and you had to sit there and look at your friends about 100 yards off, 200 yards because it's thousands of guys and the guys in the center eventually gave up dug a hole and buried their heads to suffocate for a better death than one at the hands of their enemies yeah he was. He had that in the.

Works and i think it fell apart yeah. Vin Diesel. Vin Dweeble. I don't know if that's a good casting. No, not in my mind.

Whoa, I need a V5. Can I tell you about the last time I was on your show? I was really embarrassed afterwards about something because you asked us, what good movies have you seen lately? And I said that I'd seen this movie called Margaret. which was really good. little obscure, like, R & C cinema house, and I told you about a preview for a film. That looked really scary, and the movie was Michael, this German movie.

You told me after the fact what really was going on in that movie. Yeah, because I went home and looked up what it was about, and I was like, oh my god, I can't believe I talked about this and promoted this film. It does not show that in the preview at all. So, any apologies to anyone who actually went out and listens to me about films and wanted to watch it. You are an authority on films.

It's called Michael. It's a German movie. Like, the preview is so sick. Like, the little trailer. Like, everyone was at the edge of their seats in the theater and gasped.

But it's about, like, this man who finds a young boy, like, locks him in his house for weird purposes. So I would never have talked about that film. But here I am doing it once more. You really love that idea. Don't you?

What? You're saying he knows. Yeah. Because, like, people, yeah, that looked interesting. Because I was trying to be, like, I know the film's.

Doing well in seven. It's like, no, yeah. I'd have to try to be European. Maybe the artsy part. So, that's a plug for Michael.

I still say that the John Travolta one's way scarier. I'm sorry. John Travolta's way scarier than... Oh, Michael! Or John Travolta.

Yeah, you can't compare. That's got to be way more traumatizing. What's the difference between Michael and Phenomenon? They both suck. They both starred John Travolta.

They're both bad John Travolta movies. I've not seen any Travolta, so I have no idea. Randy has nothing to say about this. I loathe John Travolta. No, I loathe him.

I view him as like a stain upon the city, upon the body cinematic. He's a product. I don't like him, and I don't like Tom Cruise. You don't like Scientologist, is what you're really saying. Oh, that too.

Well, yeah. Most people feel that way. Well, okay. I kind of agree, but. Liked him in Carrie.

Liked him in Carrie. Yeah, he was still, yeah, it was okay. I suppose Grease, but I never. Watched it. That was okay, but after that, that's when his star rose.

Yeah, I'm so beautiful. I'm smoking. Look at me. I'm, you know. Not bad.

No stellar performances in the Look Who's Talking series? I mean. You can tell about people. He's so great at that. Just his mom.

Yeah, sure. Like, he's a movie star. Yeah, but... But, like, I don't know. Look at it this way.

Like, Tom Cruise is a tiny little man. We all know that. He's like five. Right. Five, six.

Maybe. Five, one. Four, seven. Right. And shrinking.

Three, two. And as you can tell, I am about maybe 5'7. And to have somebody out there who makes his entire living having people squat around him to make him look better. Oh, he makes them do that? Yeah.

He has a really bad Napoleon complex. Yeah, I know. But to me, that's like being a race trader, except it's a height trader. He's supposed to build up his fellow shore men, but instead. He abandons us, you know, and paints himself another height, and then runs off.

And I'm bitter about that. Because, you know, it. Just informs that whole idea that small people are to be battered around or shot as security guards on your way through to commit the crime. So Danny DeVito is your favorite then? He's pretty proud of it.

He owns it. Except for twins. I could hunt him across a field for being in that one. But again, he's holding his own with Schwarzenegger. So, you know, that takes a lot.

As an afterbirth. Well, yeah. He's like the placenta turned human. Haven't we all kind of thought that at one point about Danny DeVito? And I like the guy, but, I mean, come on.

This just pops in my head. Have you ever seen the movie Virtuosity? Yeah. Because it's the staying alive part. It's like they play that song and then they have Russell Crowe. walking down the street.

Young Russell Crowe. Doing the same thing? Pre-fat Russell Crowe walking down the street. Like when he was still hot. Yeah, when he was, when he was all.

Like when I was going to marry him. Yeah, back when you had a thing for Russell Crowe before he got lame. That, that's a nice, that's a nice movie to possibly discuss because it's like, it's a 90s kind of like, Back when it was like the net, you know? Right. The internet was the net.

I don't remember that. That one without Sean, though, will he be sad because he missed that terrible movie? It seems right up his alley. Yeah. It's one of those terrible movies that's really good.

How have we watched it recently? Virtuosity? Virtuosity. Never heard of it. I've heard of Velocity.

That's also where he got the name for his killer band. 30-odd foot of grunts. That's from the sound mixing of Virtuosity. Russell Crowe is Noah. He's going to be the new Noah.

Unfortunately. With the heart? They're making a fucking movie about Noah. Darren Aronofsky. Yeah.

Oh, I love Darren Aronofsky. Figure that out. It's going to be awesome, I think. Is he going to find two of each animal? And dinosaurs.

And dinosaurs? That would be fun. It would, actually. I hope he's, like, the only person in the movie with the animals. Like, I hope it's, like. hosts like he's already out at sea that came with all these animals.

Then wouldn't all the people also be dead. On the world? Oh, that's right. There'd be other people out there. Their floated and swollen bodies would be floating by.

I wonder if there's a. Story in the Bible after the flood where... Like Noah's brother, I think, or something. His daughters sleep with him. You know, you get him drunk and sleep with him.

I wonder if they'll do that then. Well, if they kill off all the other people in the world, like Rose once. Then the after part, when the waters recede, then it's going to be Noah repopulating the earth with animals. It's just going to be Noah and, well, tonight's a camel. All right, let's go.

Okay, people, that's where we come from now, you know. That was my biology lesson. Hooking up with animals, that's what Rose likes. No, it's because they don't talk about that part, do they? They always pretend he was, like, by himself with.

All these animals. No, it wasn't by himself. He was with seven of his other people. They were the only people that didn't get smoted. Right.

I thought for a second you were like, no, it's because they don't talk. I was like, you and the animals. Well, afterwards they can't talk. Whatever we had going on, they can't talk about it afterwards. One of those situations.

This show is not PG. No, no. Explicit. Explicit. I'm afraid to say bad words in front.

Of her or something. She does not approve. It's okay. I probably will be A to D in looking at something else. I don't care.

Even when cement has sparkly things in it, I look at the floor the whole time. Look at how sparkly. How many boyfriends buy me a. Shiny ring today? Oh, it's so pretty.

It's like blue. It's like a ring with a special ring for your hand. You can move it to your other hand and have two rings. I keep rubbing it out of habit. I rubbed all.

The blue off. I rubbed all the blue, now it's silver. It was like that kind of blue all over. I'm here basically for friends like them because what it comes down to is a listener to one of these things is like I work a blue-collar job so I've got a lot of flat time and you find whatever your interests are and You know, I'm fairly well along in life, so I actually have enough means to come out and see them. You know, it.

Doesn't, like, cripple me financially or anything, so it's like, well, I'll go meet them and see if they can stand me, you know? This is your first time meeting? Oh, no. Oh, okay. No, I've been out before.

Okay, but you guys have, like, bonded. Yeah, you're a family. Yeah, no one's held anyone's hair while they vomited, but, you know, we're just not that intense. But he did bring his dehydrator so the boyfriend could make his own jerky. He made jerky.

My boyfriend made jerky. Are you a. Raw foodist or do you have a dehydrator? No, that's like a side gig that I do that I'm kind of known for is I make jerky. Oh, cool.

So when we did this driving trip, we brought the dehydrator in every friend's house we stopped at. I'd sent them, like, instructions. They all made jerky. And the heavyweight champ would be that man sitting right. There, because Jay's was clearly the best.

Really? Sorry, guys. What did you use? How did you see through it? It was pretty good.

Yeah, the only extra thing I used was ginger and Thai chili paste. Ah, so you added a little fusion, and that made all the difference. Yeah. You could probably sell that. You should go on Shark Tank.

That means there's going to be more of them. Yeah, they're going to be like, how many people have you sold it to? It'll be like, Brandy, Brian, Disney, Scooter, and Rose. But they all live, so I'm pretty sure it's okay. I haven't eaten any.

And three Ghostbusters at a festival. Yeah, she doesn't like Capricorn. That looks really scary, but I will try it. If he honors you with it, it's pretty good. Awesome.

Is it beef? Yeah, it's beef. Thank you. Wow, this is awesome. You're even feeding us.

Beef and snacks. That's what we have. Uh-oh. Hey! Gotta watch these people trying to steal your meat.

That's really good. It turned out good. I never knew that's how you made jerky. Why did you become a jerky? How's that your hobby?

What happened? I work with an asshole. Hi, Ed. Hi, Ed! Ed murders deer by the dozen.

I like Ed already. So Ed's always got jerky and he always brings it into work. And I thought, that's not bad. And then I thought. Deer jerky.

Right. And, you know, I've made some deer, I've made a lot of beef, but it came down to, I think I could probably do a little better. And then I just kept working at it. Basically, you know, you get meat, you marinate it in something... that you really like, and there's certain guidelines to it. You let it sit for a couple of days, and then boom.

So you dehydrate it before you slice it? No. You did it basically show up and be like, I'm better than you in every way. No, really, really good. Even when you think you're good at it, I'm better than you.

No, awesome. See, you have found the subtext of my existence. Please look no deeper. Hey, that's, you know. Because then I brought it into work and I was like, here, why don't you try some of this?

Guys were like, wow, that's great. Or the, oh God, that's too hot. But then he looked at you like with just, you took like the one thing from him. The one thing that was his. No, no, no.

He's the guy who comes into the mark that shows, you know, look, I shot a fox in my backyard. You know, had to leave fried chicken out to get him to come out, you know. Couldn't you have just eaten the fried chicken? It's like Chaney doing whatever that type of hunting is where you just like, they just. I don't have a problem with hunting.

I have a problem with. He brings in videos of guys going on tours to Africa where there's 12 guys, they have automatic weapons, and there's. A lion up on a hill. And they've been drawn out to kill this lion. And, you know, they got this one guy and they're in a, you know, they're.

In a Jeep. They know it's there. They've been leaving food for it to sit there. They drive out there and they aim for it. And the one guy shoots and it gets up and.

Starts running the 300 yards to get to them and 12 guys gun it down. That's not. Oh, I've seen the YouTube video. Are you kidding? Yeah, I think it's kind of horrible.

That's called punting. And this is a guy who buys that video off television. He pays the extra money to get it. With the shipping and handling. Ed, you are my least favorite person.

I have never met you, but I hope you know that. Something really wrong. Just stick with the deer, Ed. Stick with the deer. They're the worst.

They're worse than lions. Well, you know what? Maybe it'd be a serial killer if he didn't do this. I shouldn't say this. The lion, you mean?

No, he's not one of the people that went for him. That's terrible. They're not even eating the lion. No. You can.

I've had a lion burger. Well, the Zulu, they have to kill the lion while it's sleeping. Booger, I thought you said booger. I got shipped to you. They have to wait until the lion's sleeping, then they sneak up on it and kill it.

That's it. I don't like this conversation. I'm about to leave. Seriously. I'm saying they don't.

Have an automatic weapon. So, I was at your show with Fred. He was talking about conventions you don't belong at. He was talking about the trucker one that he went to, right? Yeah.

I think that was Greg. That was Greg? I think so. Fred's the one that's sort of languid in his speech. Did you ever wonder?

Yeah, yeah, he sounds just like that. If Fred doesn't show, you can be Fred. I can't be Fred. Just for that day. You can be Randy, but you can't be Fred.

I can't be Fred. Fred is a deep subconscious that I lack and an appreciation of the world. He's very funny. Yes, he is. I like him.

His parents were professors. That's what he said. That's all I remember. Poet Laureate of Kentucky. Wow.

That's pretty special. It is. And me, I had someone, I'm walking through this convention, and they're desperately trying to hawk their stuff, where you're trying to look but not make eye contact, and this desperate. Woman goes, Do you like poetry? And I'm like, I just got here.

You know, and you do the Muppet walk to get away. It's like, I really don't want to buy your poetry right here and now. We just saw the documentary about Elmo. Oh, yeah. Elmo.

Which was pretty interesting. It sounds interesting I just don't want. To watch Elmo does he roll out of bed in the morning and do a few bong bits before he goes. To work no he's like the nicest human being ever now if everyone's wondering why every movie I've seen has been with Scooter it's because. I have no TV and he has Netflix.

So whenever I'm like oh it's time to watch something. I go to Scooter Bronson is on Netflix is it on Netflix instead so we will. See this before what are you. Leaving I'm leaving tomorrow morning at like 7 a.m. Wow.

I got a 12-hour drive. Wow. Eh, well. You're probably the person who came here from the farthest, well, we came here. No, you win.

There probably is someone here from somewhere else, like that obsessed with Buffy, just like here from Tokyo. Actually, the last convention I was at, I met a guy who came from Hawaii to be there. Wow. And it was here. It was in Louisville, and he came from Hawaii.

I wanted to shake him and be like, what are you doing? Go back home. It's way better there. But he was pretty awesome, so. I feel like we should have a competition because I've seen way too many Ghostbusters.

Aren't there supposed to only be four? We should have a competition where we can all line up. And pull which ones are our actual Ghostbusters. We need to have a fight to the death. That's what I'm thinking.

A battle royale. Battle royale of Ghostbusters. It would be awesome to ghost, but there aren't any. I'm going to steal the conversational topic. We're sitting across from an ultimate green screen experience.

Right, right. So they pose you and they take a photo and they try and sell you this photo later. I know that they take that photo back and they put dicks in your mouth. Okay, that's the way my brain works. Like around their house, the people that own this.

Yeah, yeah, you know. Like, I just, that's my view of human, you know, motivation. Yeah, that's pretty much how people operate. That reminds me of why I don't really have a Facebook account anymore. Because a couple years ago for Halloween, I went out with my friend and she was a dominatrix and she had this dildo.

And so I'm smiling like this, like me in my little. Cowgirl outfit or whatever. And she's holding up this. Dildo like this, so it looks like it's going towards my mouth, but I didn't even notice. I'm sorry about all those comments I left on that photo.

On that photo? I didn't know you then. It was just a random picture on Facebook. So that's what I'm going to say. That's why I don't smile.

No, because open mouth is dangerous. Teeth showing. I grew up in the Youth Authority, so yeah. What's that? California Youth Authority?

No. Turn the mic off. That's amazing. Ed is on my bad list and Randy is on the top of my great list. That's pretty much how it's been for a while.

It is pretty awesome, right? I think that Misty gets bigger points for being a squirrel tamer. And Jay for not dying of work every day. Dying of work? Working an industrial machine.

A duster machine? Yeah, I build CNC machines for aerospace technology. Wow, that's kind of awesome. It sounds dangerous. It is.

I'm a welder. You wear a lot of equipment, right? I wear a lot of equipment, and it's really hot in there. We don't have AC. Wow.

So I wear. Long cotton pants, cotton shirt, leather jacket, leather apron, welding hood, and I've got about a 5,000 degree flame in front of my face. And usually it's about 100 degrees outside. Inside the building it could be up to 112. Okay, new hero.

Ta-da! I drink a lot more. No, you're still my hero. I mean this. Yeah.

We gotta go. We do? Darn it. I have a movie. Gotta go.

Sorry, guys. Go. Go. Go to your adoring crowds. This is about it for me right here.

So I'm actually walking away from it right now. We go where the love's at. Don't we all? All right. Well, everyone and Jay.

And Randy are going to start a. Beef jerky business, and you should order online eventually. Yeah, that was really good. It was really good. Then you can stop welding, and that'll be good.

So order. No, I'm serious. It was the best. I go to Trader Joe's, and whenever the lines stay too long, I forget the turkey jerky because. I'm like, I'm hungry.

Like, you've been shopping for an hour. So, yeah, this is really good. I like how I stare at the mic like as if... People will see me there like it's a camera. I'm an actor, not a radio person.

My voice is probably a little weird. It's a little like in the AM. Good morning, everyone! You guys are really awesome, but you're the worst leavers ever. We are.

I don't leave. I don't like leaving. I'm an abandoned magician. You see the escalator? Start walking.

Bye, guys! Bless you all! I'm sad Lisa missed out on that. That was kind of magical in a Julie Andrews on meth way. Yeah.

Sorry. Sorry, Rose. It's a magical experience being around Rose. She kind of reminds. Me of Demi Lovato without that weird butt chin.

And not as much drug use. Yeah. As far as we know. I guess why she's still perky. Who's Demi Lovato?

Are you filling in for Rose at this point? For who? What? You're lost even when you're going the right way You mean the world to me even though you might be crazy And you said we wouldn't make it But look how far we've come. So long my heart was breaking But now we're standing strong The.

Things you say made me fall. Hi, this is Verdon Wells, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. And I have one thing to say... I know where you live, you little fuckers. So listen, or I will come and get you, I will rip off your head, and I will piss down your neck.

So, remember that. It's part of. Your problem, you know, you haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on with the show.

Okay, so we're about to round this out. But as we do, we have a special blast from the past appearance. But I know we have a lot of newer listeners who may not have the movie meltdown history to appreciate this moment. So with that, I ask, do you guys remember Roger? Or Joanie?

If your answer is no, well, I recruited Roger back when the show first started years ago. And he was a weekly regular through pretty much the whole first year and a half or more of the show. Why haven't you heard him lately, you ask? Truthfully, I don't know. One day we were going to record and Roger and his newly recruited girlfriend Joanie were going to sit in and supposed to be there for the episode.

Well, they just didn't show. tried to call, no word from them, messaged them, nothing. So who knows what happened that day. Weird, but that had happened a couple times before, so we just assumed it was another one. Of those incidents. So next week rolls around, I leave a message when we're recording, it comes about, no Roger or Joanie.

So basically, that was it. They just disappeared. Barring maybe a random message on Facebook once or twice, they just went completely M.I.A., That was over a year and a half ago. Just disappeared. So the fact that we happened to be there and were recording right when they walked by, I thought was sort of a serendipitous thing that we should share with you guys.

So when you're here, you are alive. It's no joke. This is the first time we've come in contact with them in over a year and a half. So with that, I bring you the resurgence of Roger and Joey. Disappear.

Disappear. Disappear. Disappear. Disappear. The effect went to pot.

Yeah, it's steampunk Boba Fett. It happens at these places. There's a steampunk chick here with her fucking flip-flops. Again, no commitment. Yeah, if you're going to do it, go all the way.

Don't fucking half-ass on shit. Come on. Don't have your fucking vinyl corset, your mini skirt, your fucking fancy-ass feather hat, and your fucking flip-flops. It's a running theme is to point out the shortcomings of the costumes in every. One of these.

I like doing it. Point out the shortcomings of others. Yes, you do. She's working a car wash with that outfit, though. Safely.

At least me. To pull this fucking belt up. But other than that, you know. See, here's the tranny. I saw him earlier.

He looks pretty damn good, actually. I haven't seen too many corset mom jean combinations today. I saw a couple. That's a magic combination. Okay, yeah.

Air and buns. The nerdy glasses. You know. Not really the hot librarian. Or the.

Although I did see the Star Trek corset. That was. That was impressive. That was something I have yet to see. How exactly is it defined as Star Trek?

Uh, slutty Star Trek. Oh, okay. Well, they're slutty everything. I mean, we. What was our slutty outfit earlier?

Which one? Which one? Yeah, but what was the one we called? Slutty Chucky? Yeah, Slutty Chucky.

See, I didn't get to see Slutty Chucky. I saw Slutty Disco Witch. No, Disco Witch was pretty fun. And I saw Slutty Velma. And is that a slutty Dorothy?

I think so. Hell yeah, it's a slutty Dorothy. All right. And, you know, I went to Harbor Freight, and I picked up one of those actual wrenches that are that fucking heavy, and I guarantee you it weighs more than that girl does. Well, that's a foam rubber wrench.

I know it is. I know shit, Sherlock. I'm just saying, I went there, and the actual thing weighed more than her. Oh, yeah, that's pretty fucking heavy. And she's like 14 pounds.

Yeah. A lot of Spider-Men here. Yeah. Mohawk Spider-Man. It's a little odd seeing guys in tights.

I just want. If you're going to commit a crime around me, I'm going to support you if some guy in tights runs up to stop it. I just want you to know that. Because they're not doing any great service to society with their tiny packages on display. You know so they're balancing things out by fighting crime yeah.

If you're gonna be a crime fighter stuff that shit you know. Green Lantern we saw up in Chicago. Oh that was all kinds of package nobody needed to see that. Yeah it was very well endowed yeah. And standing next to children yeah please put that away yeah point that thing somewhere else.

Did you give a shout out to Scooter and Rose's film that's screening here. It'll be too late for anybody to see it here. Right. But, in general, I would think, yeah, if you, you know, you should have already listened to their episode. But, if not, go find It's in the Blood.

I believe there's a website that corresponds with it. It has Lance Hendrickson. It's pretty awesome. And, you know, Rose, for God's sake. And Sean, who's awesome.

It's scooter-directed, so it's definitely, yeah, go find. It. Wow. You are alive. I'm sure that I might see you guys today.

This is a momentous occasion we've captured here. Do you want to reintroduce yourself? Hi, I'm Jodi. This is long-lost Roger. And I need to wave again.

And still waving at the mic. That's good to know. Yeah, how's it going? It's going. This would be Randy, by the way.

Hi. Nice to meet you, Randy. Nice to meet you. Tony. Nice to meet you.

Oh, wow. How's it going? It's an epic return to the show. Good to you, good to you. Are you all here the whole weekend?

Yeah, we've got the table. We're loitering around all weekend. I just bumped into St. Haig when he came out of the bathroom. I was like, I want to see St.

Haig, so I was waiting by his booth and he wasn't there. So I was like, you know what? I want a Rice Krispie treat. So I went up and was waiting in line for a Rice Krispie treat, which was right in front of the bathroom. And he comes out and I turn around and I was like, why?

He's like, St. Haig smiled at me. He smiled at me. And then walked away. I was like, boom.

Saints gave me the. I'm glad the. Rice Krispie Treat came into play, because otherwise I was like, why are you going in the men's room? I'm lucky for Sid Haig. Get out of my way.

I really hope Sid Haig washes hands. If you were by the bathroom, I'm surprised you didn't see Norman Reedus because he's. Gone by like a bajillion guys. He's got a small bladder. We figured he had irritable bowel syndrome.

Maybe he had to poop a lot. So between him and Shaw Patrick Flannery, they've just been. Running back and forth all day. Yeah, Shaw Patrick Flannery's like the bodyguard. Nice.

Do they hold the pool? Or do they. Have to deny the holdage? I can cover the pool. No, what they do is.

They block off the urinals on both sides. Oh, nice. So nobody can get to the uncomfortable spot. You wait until Norman goes. Should we wave it down to Sid again?

No, it's, uh, over on the other end. We figured if Sid was out there and you all were trying to get in. Ooh, you get to watch all the freaks get in. Oh, no! They're not freaks.

Special, special people. Getting his pictures. Hadn't he died yet? This shows the age gap. Her younger brother has no idea who Sid Haig is, which isn't that far of a stretch, mind you.

But. When you're here, you need to know these things. Yeah. Otherwise, you could be pummeled to death by us. We talked to a girl who had never even heard of boondock saints.

Or John Carpenter. Or John Carpenter. She's like, who is John Carpenter? Why was he somebody's babysitter? She was adorable.

Luckily, we love her otherwise. Yeah, yeah. Is there a reason why you're here? She's adorable. She's an actress.

She's in the movie. But apparently she's never watched movies. Oh, she's one of the ones that acts in movies but never watches a movie that they act in. She is adorable. She's like a Disney princess.

I'm pretty sure, like. birds dress her in the morning. We're trying to corrupt her. We're trying to give her the worst movies ever to watch and try to bring her back to her level. To kind of shatter that innocence. Yeah, you need to just kind of break through a little bit.

It kind of makes me mad when people hold on to that a lot, lot longer than I did. Yeah. Which wasn't that. Long at all. It's ruined.

It's like, how are you still living in this day and age? Do you have any screen interviews with anybody here? that you had there? We did. We did talk to the Vernon Wells, the guy from Road Warrior. Yeah, awesome.

He was pretty awesome. He was entertaining. I always feel bad kind of when you go down the aisles of the kid who was the child in child's play. What about poor Luke. Perry sitting over there by his lawn?

Nobody's coming around. You just want to stand by them. You just want to be there with them so they don't feel so alone. Because I think that that would be kind of a shot to their ego, at least a little bit, when you're here at a con and nobody knows or cares who you are. You just have to sit at the table with them.

It might be better outside with a cup. It's a hop, skip, and a jump from being. And ignored at your table the sucking dick behind the dumpster. Exactly. It's just a small choice, actually.

It's just a little choice. It's a lifestyle choice we all make. We just came from a small little steampunk venue where they sell glasses and pouches. And we both fell in love with a chick who's completely bald except for a big long strand of hair. I know.

And we're like, we are. In love with her. It's like, baby, just go back and tell them we're both in love with her and run off laughing. Like, giggling at her. Well, I think I need to run off because they're going to close this place in like 30 minutes or less, and I probably have to see if there's something I'm actually going to waste money on.

Nice. So you can sign off. Signing off? Fuck, I don't know. There goes Randy.

All right. Sir. Good to meet you. I'll be back. Just the people watching right here, I think you can have at least a 12-hour show.

I think we're midway into it right now. And there's probably so much gold, you can't or don't. Want to cut out anything. But you need the smell of it. You need the smell-o-meter so that people can really, as the day progresses, you get the sense of, Yes.

You don't need that. No, you really don't. You lose without the visual sometimes. You really experience the horror, you know. Like the big dude with the pirate do-rag wearing a bloody dress.

You just don't get that. Even if you say it, you can't visualize it as beautifully as it's being represented right here. In front of our eyes. It's not the same. It's not the same.

Look, this guy's a cop. See, if he had a hat, he could be Rick Grimes from Walking Dead. There you go. See, if I was an on-duty cop, I would wear the hat and just go, Rick Grimes, Walking Dead. Walking Dead.

Just move along. And just muscle people all the time. What do you want to go next? I don't know. I got to see Norman Reedus.

Did you peek in the door? He's lost a lot of weight. Really? Since The Walking Dead? Yeah.

From the last time we saw him? The last time we saw him. Yeah. He's dropped a lot of weight. He's looking.

Sean Patrick Flannery's lost. A lot of weight, too. Really? Yeah. Both of them.

They both look good. Yeah. His face still doesn't move, though. It's still made of wood. I think it's more like a Play-Doh or like a Silly Putty.

Silly Putty, maybe. I want to put a newspaper across it and see if it, like, just stays on. I want to push it and see if it stays that way. Okay, well, moving right down, I think we're off. We're going to continue... perusing and enjoying the smells.

The fine bouquet that there is here. Oh, yes. The nice smell. So you all have a good rest of the show and weekend. Alright, we're rounding it out with Roger and Joni here.

We talked about watching Shark Tank the other day. Because it's a classic. Reliving the wonder of Sharknado. If I could give you a rundown on all the movies we've watched recently, it'd be insane. But we went, this is Joni's choice, we went on an 80s sci-fi movie marathon as far as Conan, Beastmaster, Yor, Ator, Kor.

And then I went to. You're in the fantasy realm now. Yeah. Ritsonja. Ritsonja, which is basically.

Sonja, really? Sonja. It's freaking Conan 2. Yeah, it's awesome. Have a good one.

All right. Good to see you guys today. Good to see you guys live. Good to see you live. I think with that, we better round it out.

The return of Roger and Joni. I don't know what to do with that. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed.

Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye. Bye. I'm so sorry.

Please forgive me. Who do I pray to to straighten out this problem? Straighten out this problem. Straighten out my mind. Straighten out this crooked tongue.

My mind is wandered. From the straight and narrow. My mind is wandered from. The block you see. My mind is wandered.

Man just said so My mind has wandered I heard it on TV And the clock has wandered Away from me Now facilitate reality Insanity Let's strive for mediocrity Insanity Let's make believer. All the same Now that's the way. Let's sanitize our little brains. Insanity I'd love. To take you home with me.

And talk you into bed I'd love to see what makes I am a virus, are you the cure? I am morally, I'm morally impure I am a disease and I am unclean I'm not part of God's wet oil machine Christian nations, assimilate me Take me in your arms. Set me free. I am part of a degenerate elite. Dragging our society into the.

Street, yeah. Do you think you're better than me? Do you want to kill me or befriend me? The alcoholic bastard ran his finger at me. And his voice was.

Down his gin and tonics I'm preaching about the evils of narcotics and the evils of sex and. The wages of sin while. He eventually bundles his next of kin cause the mind is wandered from the flock you see and the flock has wandered away from me. The white folks think they're at the top ask any proud white male in a million years of evolution he could get away. With it.

I'd love to take you home with me I'd love to tuck you in I wish. I could protect you of our sins. I'd love to hear you scream tonight. I'd love to hear you cry. I've been checking for the madness and it's.

Raining from the sky. Insanity Let's strive for mediocrity Insanity Let's. Make believe we're all the same Now that's what we need. Let's sanitize our little brains Insanity I'd love to take. You home with me And tuck you in the bed I'd love to see what makes you tick Inside your pretty head I wish that I could keep you In a precious Chinese box On Sundays I would pray for you So it would never stop I'd love to.

Thank you. What? We're having two conversations, radio. This is not working at all. They don't know how.

To listen to two separate conversations. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by the Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by the Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!