80.1: A Little PBR and You'll Be Shaking the Underwear Machine

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian.

This is Roger. Marlena. You're still, you know, more or less a regular crew member. We do have a few additions today just to sort of mix things up and throw a curveball in the middle of this. So, Roger, you introduce the first one.

Special guest star, Joni. Hi! All right. And we also have special guest who has performed our theme song live earlier today, Eddie. Yep.

Who, if you listened a really long time, actually was on with us last year at the Petersville Car Show. It's an anniversary. Yes, it's special, isn't it? Mm-hmm. So, yeah, I was going to see if you wanted to just, you know, perform it live right here in front of the mic, but.

No. No. I already played that one. Not a chance. No beatbox version or anything?

Oh, please, no. Not that that would cheapen the show. I think maybe that would actually earn us points, but. I don't think you can cheapen our show. No, you're right.

Sounds fun. Yeah. If someone please beatbox the Imperial March and send it in to us, because that's what I'm looking for at this point. Do it good, though. I don't want to crap you.

We've got a dude that's working on a remix of it. You were telling me, yeah. If you've got a full version of it, send it over. We'll round out one of the upcoming shows with the entire song. Because you kind of just get a snippet in our little intro there.

We will be glad to roll out the full version of the new fancy remix. Like the club mix. Nice. Straight house. House mix.

Quiver and 12-inch. Wow. Get in play. Okay. Nice house party.

Word. All right. And we're recording in a sauna today. Yeah. It is nice and toasty as it always seems to be.

It's just that moist, like, heat. Oh. Some people know it's the sweat dripping. That's what it is. It picks up on the way.

If you can hear that. Yeah. Well, that sort of ties into our geek activities, because today, at least, you know, three-fifths of us here, we're at the Petersville Car and Bike Show. Yay! So, do we want to relive all the glory of that?

No. There's not. Was there any glory? That's not a plug for Petersville at all. It was fun.

It was quite entertaining. It was really hot outside. Yes, it was ridiculously hot, and then it rained, like, it opened up the floodgates and. Poured for, like, 10, 15 minutes, and then it stopped again, so that was weird. Some of the bands were really good.

I think all I listened to was you. Well, I got distracted. I don't know who it was that was playing, but when Andrew and I were inside, there was a band, and it was a three-piece, and no offense to this guy, because they were pretty good, but The guy on the bass made the worst retard faces I've ever seen in my life. That's what bassists do, though. Was he feeling the rock star?

No, it wasn't even like that. It wasn't even like that. I really wish this was a show that you could visually see this sometimes. But it was, for all of you guys at. The table, it was like. oh nice yeah nice he just looks like a having seizures like like.

A total retard like not even like slang version. Some of those are like. But like a legitimate like a real retard. Yeah some of those are the weird faces bart used to make on the sense. But you know i i kind of hate to say this but If a band doesn't have any more, I don't know what it is.

If a band doesn't have at least a banjo, if not an accordion, I just get bored of them really fast. Really? I don't know why. Accordions are always awesome. I know, right?

Because I know it seems like rare to find people that play accordions, and whenever someone busts it out, it's like, oh, right. Yeah. All right. You better start learning to play the accordion. Or even like a xylophone or a tin whistle.

Right? There's not this in a band I just like lose interest. It's just this phase of going through where I only want to listen to like... polka inspired music or like bluegrass but not really bluegrass more like bluegrass that used to be like a metal band and now they play bluegrass i don't. Know that's just genre i'm really i'm sure it is at this point 357 string band i love nice yeah i've only said them well that's like torres is really good for xylophones and accordions and melodicas weird things and like I was. Listening to Devil Makes Three earlier.

It was like a live CD, and someone was like. Play Slayer! And they actually played the first three chords of Rain and Blood, and I was way excited. 357 does a little medley with Skulls and a bunch of other songs in it. I think they cover some Black Flag.

That's awesome. That's amazing. Yeah, I've been listening to 357 String Band on my Rhapsody account. Rhapsody is awesome, not that I'm getting paid, but when it doesn't crash or delay on iPhone, it's pretty cool to be able to get almost everything that you want. I think we're on Rhapsody.

Really? Plug. Shameless plug. Plug for the Empire. I'll look you up right this time.

And actually, I'll just go ahead and put another shameless plug in there. Feel free to. We're getting ready to go out on an album tour. Um in a week but um that album's actually already available online on um itunes and amazon all that stuff and what is the name of. Your band if i was wondering somehow didn't know who you were.

It's the empires yes yeah that's right i need a little direction every. Now and then you just crashed. You know just go out Pick up our album. Are you available online at certain places or not? Yeah, we got a MySpace, unfortunately.

Yeah, never mind. It's Backspace, TH Empires, and then we've got like a Facebook fan page or whatever. Yeah. I'm trying to get something official up online because I don't like really either format. Yeah, it's...

I don't know. There's not a lot of options. It's hard to do a page all to yourself, and then MySpace is kind of dying. Yeah. It's not popular anymore, so.

No. Well, it was also a mess to start out with. Oh, yeah. It never, like. It came together pretty nice.

I mean, there was a window of, you know, a year and a half or so that, like, everybody was on there, and there weren't all these other options, and it had a lot of, like, cool stuff that you could do on there. So, I mean, there was a time when it was kind of, it had reason to be, you know, at the top of the heap, and then Facebook annihilated it. So, you know, what are you going to do? Well, and now, and I can't freaking stand hearing it. Tweet.

I don't want to hear, oh, tweet this or tweet it. It just sounds so freaking gay I can't stand it. I hate it. I think we were tweeting earlier. I'm tweeting right now.

He's been tweeting as the show goes on. Tweeting in my pants. We warned you about that. That's what I tried. It didn't work.

Well, was there anything else at Beersville that was awesome? No. You showed the Mad Max bike to us. The Mad Max bike. That was pretty awesome.

It was my favorite. Yeah. It was cool. But, yeah, that's pretty much all I've done this week. The only other thing geek-wise I guess I sort of did, I did watch, actually this morning, I attempted to watch several movies and just went to sleep like I usually do.

So the only one I actually watched was earlier today, The Gunfighter was on, which is a Gregory Peck movie from 1950. Gunfighter, I've never heard of it. It's pretty good if you like old westerns, but a modern audience would probably have a lot of problems with it because it's very slow-paced. There's not really action at all. There's no gunfighting at all?

Not much, really. Well, it is built around his reputation, basically. He is this huge, well-known name in the West. So every town he goes to, there's a kid waiting to shoot him. There's old enemies waiting for him.

It's basically built on it. It's kind of that same... story they've been using for years that they came back to with, like, The Unforgiven and all these other Westerns where it's, like, you know, the older guy that wants to get out of the life, but it's too late. Yeah, it follows you wherever you go. Yeah, so it's one of those, but there really isn't a whole lot of gunfights. There's not really a showdown.

There's, you know, people... Sounds terrible. People pull a gun here and there, but no, it's more of, like, a character study, really. And that's the selling point. Gregory Peck is pretty awesome, and he's got, like, a really cool scene at the end.

So it's... If you like old Westerns, it's worth watching, but... It's pretty much all I've watched this week. Anyone else? Our geek activity kind of like....

That's a good segue of the Mad Max bike. We actually watched the original Mad Max the other day. The other day meaning, like, Tuesday? Tuesday, yeah. And, you know, it's always great.

I know I've talked about it before when I watched it, but it's just always, it's a classic. Yeah. It's freaking awesome. And I wanted one of those T-shirts that just has a picture of the V8 from the V8 Interceptor, and it. Says, kick her in the gut.

Barry. You know? Nice. Cross the V8s. But, yeah.

The first one is so weird comparatively. Because it's still such a... little independent australian movie yeah like yeah you're lucky to figure out what they're saying half the time and it's shot on such a low budget compared to when you go watch the road warrior it's like a huge amount of money thrown at it so it's. And some things don't make sense like is it is is it post-apocalyptic at that point it never got if that's when the world kind of crashed. Because it seemed like, well, there's still... Maybe that's part of the mystery.

Yeah. There's still, like, cops, like, an establishment. Yes. Before, I think, Humongous got his irradiation or whatever. Oh, look, Humongous.

He's awesome. I wish he was my dad. Right? No. Oh, hell no.

But then we watched... American Werewolf in London. Yes. Which is always another classic. It's good.

And that was pretty much it. We watched Elephant Lane, too. Yeah, that's right. And I think I grew more chest hair. A little bit.

I think I did, too. Oh, interesting. And then, which isn't really geeky, we went to a wedding we just got back from earlier today, which was awesome, which you made the cake for. Yes. Shameless plug.

Shameless plug, hey. If you're offering to make wedding cakes, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there. Yes. Or birthday cakes, bar mitzvahs. Divorces.

Divorces, yeah. Do people get cakes for divorces? Sometimes. Sure. If you're really excited about it.

Yeah. Finally. Like it's a mutual, all right, finally. Tired of you. I think it's more or less the women getting cakes, being like, yeah.

Well, yeah, this is true. Celebrating themselves. Follow one. Pretty much. So that was our.

A few naked people. Geeky activity. Some wet orgies going on there. Oh, okay. Sorry.

Okay. That was it. All righty. Any activities, Eddie? No, no activity over the past week.

At all? At all. That's bad. Even I sat down and watched a movie. Any good commercials you saw?

You've been driving? Oh, I did watch a few of the old Avengers series towards the beginning of the week. Awesome. Well, I sampled a little Kathy Gale and some Emma Peel and then the other chick. I don't know.

Nobody knows. The George Lassen view. Nobody knows. Well, if nothing else, even if you didn't do anything, you vicariously know someone who's doing something super cool right now. Right now.

This is insane. Right now. Go ahead and tell them what happened just a few moments ago. Okay. Well, a little background on who this person is.

It's one of my buddies that I've been doing quite a bit of work for lately, and he's got a sock company. It's really cool, like art socks. Oh, nice. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. What's the name of the company?

The name of the company is Ashidashi. It's spelled A-S-H-I-D-A-S-H-I. Nice. And you can find them at ashidashi.com. Plug.

Plug. Nice. We've lost track of the plug. We're actually drinking Coke products and Miller Highline. And Miller Highline.

Get some sponsorships. Seriously. I have a generic water, but yeah. I get no sponsorship. Yeah, they're really cool socks.

He spends a lot of time on the road, though. He's actually in Brooklyn. Right now um we shot for his catalog on friday and then i immediately left that shoot to go up to rockford illinois to play a show which is like basically wisconsin yeah and then drove straight from rockford here um i did stay at the holiday inn or whatever but anyway getting off track here um we do that a lot so yeah i got a text like right before we started recording and apparently he's um Just chilling with Natalie Portman right now. That is what her name is. I hate this guy.

Right? God, I really want to listen to the Natalie Portman rap. I know. Please. Oh, it's awful.

That's the exact thing I thought when you said her name. I know. I mean, I know she's been in, like, amazing movies, and she's just hot in general, but, like, damn, the rap. Seriously. We need to get her on the phone and have her rap to us.

In my mind, that's what she's known for. She's the greatest rapper. That's when her hair was shaved from the... From Vendetta? Yes.

Wasn't she wearing, like, a. horn thing at one point like a viking horn or was it like a helmet yeah or something god i think we have to watch i think in the video somebody was. Yeah maybe andy sandberg was like behind her. I think he normally just wears that around the house he's not he's not so. There's no way we can like coax an interview like of course we're trying to like tell him that. We want to talk i know it's not live but she's currently since we're talking about what she's wearing crimped blonde hair and she's in pajamas She's out walking her dog.

In pajamas. That's awesome. She's an artist. She can do that. So two degrees of separation.

I mean, I judge people at the grocery store when they're wearing... Pajamas, but Natalie Portman. Yeah, if I saw Natalie Portman at the grocery. I bet they cost like $ 900. Funny, you should be wearing pajamas right now.

I am a entrepreneur and producer of socks. Cool socks. I'll sell you some socks. That's how he's working it. I will design you some socks.

I don't think she's dating anyway. Get a signature series off of her. I'd wear them. I want to see your socks. I actually, I carry some with me.

Yeah. I got some, I got some stock for, for photo shoots and they kind of like, they're starting to dwindle, but I've still got a decent selection in the trunk. Going door to door. If you can get me the ones that Natalie wore, that's really what I'm looking for. That's kind of creepy.

That's weird. That is a little weird. And you're surprised by this? Yeah. Can you make a sock puppet, like monkey?

Cuddle with it. Yes. It would be like the... You're on to my plan. The vendors, the vending machines in Japan.

Oh, yes. Sell schoolgirls. Get underwear. Use underwear. Socks with a wrist of your word.

Pop star or whatever. The price is depending on if they are used or how heavily used or what time of the month it is. They're more expensive. And the reality of that is so messed up. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, no joke. It's all real. Yeah. It's all real.

But what's funny is I still picture people like dropping quarters in. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. That's not how it works. But in my mind, it's funnier that way.

No, they take credit cards. Yeah, no. That's no fun at all. You put quarters in and they're all. black uh shield that's over it yeah drops down. For a second oh god how serious would you be if it gets caught on the ring and it doesn't fall it's like you're out there shaking the underwear machine and then it starts raining panties huge pants.

Yeah even worse a cop comes along you get busted with your arm jammed up the underwear machine i swear i paid for these they didn't jump yeah they're supposed to jump God help us. Anyways. Anyway. Marlena? Yeah, what was your geek activity?

Well, I did a lot of bike riding as usual. That's pretty geek. Good. I was like four miles away from my house and my seat broke. My spring.

Like I have a cruiser, like a Schwinn cruiser. And the spring broke. So the seat was like at a 45 degree angle at least. Awesome. So I had to ride back like.

Loped to one side? With one ash cheek considerably higher than the other. I bet that was good to pedal. You've got a pimpling on your pedal. It hurt my back so bad.

I felt like someone had donkey punched me in the spine or something. I don't think that's how that works, but all right. Maybe that's not the correct term. Somebody missed in their donkey punch. Dirty.

I don't know. Anyway, yesterday I watched The Iron Giant, which was really. It was a really cool movie. Had you never seen it? I'd never seen it before.

Really? Do you know who does the voice of the Iron Giant? I do. Vin Diesel. Yes, he does.

Okay, I knew it was someone, and I was trying to figure it out. I'm so excited about that. Me too. Yeah, but I was trying to watch it with a four-year-old who was, like, insisting on he being buried under the couch cushions and sat on it. Bear me under the couch cushions, Andrews.

Don't lie. This is reverse. You were under the couch cushions. He was like, shut up. I'm trying to watch Iron Giants.

God. But it was a really good movie. I mean, I really liked it. Like modern cartoons that are set in a different time. Yeah.

And that one was kind of set in the 50s, which was really cool. Well, that was, you know, how I'm always complaining that Americans don't have any balls when it comes to cartoons. They should be for kids only. And that one was considerably more adult themed. Yeah, like when he chloroformed that kid.

Yeah, exactly. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. And then when the Iron Giant starts, like, gets mad because he thinks he's dead, he just turns into that death machine.

Yeah. That was so awesome. Awesome. It was a pretty good movie. Yeah, it was a pretty good movie.

And then after that, I watched The Serpent and the Rainbow. Which is pretty good, actually. Yeah, it's really good. It's a zombie movie, but not in a traditional way. It's actually very traditional.

Yeah, it's a voodoo zombie movie. It's the original zombie movie. I mean, yeah. Cool. Yeah, it's more like a...

The scientific kind of zombie movie. Well, it's loosely based on a true story. Go ahead. Yeah, there were no flesh-eating zombies. There were some mean voodoo people, but no flesh-eating zombies.

In this movie, which is kind of weird. That's my kind of zombie. One's not going to eat them. That's one of the higher spikes on the Wes Craven career, because... it was like surrounded by really all, cause that was right after deadly friend. And right before, I believe shocker.

So I'm like, he's so back and forth in his, uh, his movie choices sometimes. But I've been on the hunt to find Pontypool since you brought it up last week. What's Pontypool? Oh yeah, no, that's right. Yeah.

We actually have one among the crew, so we'll probably be watching it. Well, it's actually on demand because, uh, i don't know why but i forgot to put it on the netflix queue so last night i was like this has to be on demand somehow and it is so i'll probably be watching that within the next few days well. I love serving the rainbow because it's voodoo is like it's interesting and it's creepy because of how real voodoo is yeah and i think you know of course with anything it's like The more belief stuff gets, the more power it actually can have. So I don't know. I mean, from whatever.

I've seen on the History Channel and, you know, watching this movie, I don't know if, you know, zombie powder really is real. Yeah. But, you know, this is kind of one of the creepiest and coolest ways of going about it. Like, I saw Serving the Rainbow when I was way too young. And, oh, boy, did it give me freaking nightmares.

Like the little. Midget dead woman with the snake coming out of her mouth. Yeah, definitely. I don't want to ruin it because definitely we should watch it. And I've got it.

Oh, do you? Yeah. No, I think I read something. And, I mean, I don't know if I read it on the Internet, which means I'm not sure if I read it, like, in a book or in a magazine or something like that. But there are, like, they have developed neurotoxins in Haiti that will do that.

Put someone to sleep and make. You believe they're dead. Bared alive. Oh, God. It's the worst thing ever to be buried alive.

Because you can't, like, Beatrix Kittle your way out. Right. The reality is you're freaking screwed. I would try that. I got so claustrophobic watching that.

Oh, yeah. It was ridiculous. Actually, I had a replay of that same level of claustrophobia. Some of my friends got a diving, like an old diving helmet. Mm-hmm.

That's got, like, the little windows. Got the metal ones. Yeah. Oh, like the old, like, low one. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Like 20,000 leagues. Yeah, awesome. And I put it on, and I was either high or drunk at the time, I'm sure. Or both.

Or both. I can't imagine these things. And... Never. Like, it was one of the scariest things.

And there was this, like, screw poking in the side of my neck. What? This is our public service announcement. Kids, don't drink and get high and put a diving helmet on. Stay away from the diving helmets.

Make sure you have a partner. The more you know. So yeah that's serving the rainbow i definitely would suggest if you're into voodoo at all or good west craven west craven west craven movies uh and i think uh bill pullman was actually really good in that he. Was yeah that was early in his career. He was so adorable and i mean i don't really think about him in that way so.

I still think he should be present A jet-flying president. That's all I want, really. That would be pretty sweet. All right, so does that wrap up the Geek Week here? Yes.

Oh, but we did, we watched some Riddick. Yes, he forced me to watch Riddick. I'm not going to lie, I wasn't that into it at first because my dad's real into it, and I was. Like, I don't know. But I like Pitch Black, so we watched that, and I was like, okay.

I don't like Pitch Black. They're a good time. I'll fight always for Riddick. I watched the animated one. Which one was that one?

Dark Fury. I liked that one. The animation was good. Peter Chong of Aeon Flux. I do like the old Aeon Flux.

Yes. Those were awesome. So, Vin Diesel, I love you. Anyway. I hope he hears that.

I hope he does, too. I hope I take that out. I like his voice. I like men with, like, deep voices. Not like Christian Bale deep.

That's kind of fake deep. Too much. Yeah. Swear to me. I'm doing a fake voice right now.

He just sounds like a tranny. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. That's not what you're looking for? What?

Yeah. Oh, Lord. All right. We will take a break and be back with What's the Buzz? As I'm walking out one day in the morning, in the morning so fine.

Well, I jumped the devil from behind, no, not in pain. Say, look to the devil and I jump back. Look to the devil and I jump back. Look to the devil and I jump back. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

The whole family is getting together to show Dad how much he's appreciated. It's so nice to have a man around the house. But here's an extra surprise. Somebody's giving the whole family to the most enjoyable gift of all. Get there?

Take Dad and the family on a pleasure-filled. Outing to the movies at our special Father's Day show Sunday, June 21st. Hey kids, are you ready for Mid-America's largest genre film festival? That's right, it's time for the 6th annual Fright Night Film Fest, coming to you July 30th through August 1st in Louisville, Kentucky. Featuring special guests, director, producer, Oscar winner, and living legend, Roger Corman.

Plus a Dawn of the Dead reunion, a Night of the Creeps reunion, the Girls of the Nightmare on Elm Street films, plus a. 25th anniversary Fright Night reunion. All that plus the Georgetown drive-in experience, live music, and more horror merchandise than you'll know what to do with. And even an appearance from the Movie Meltdown Gang. So come on out and join us July 30th through August 1st.

For more details on the show, update your guest list, or to get your tickets, go to FrightNightFilmFest.com. Fright Night Film Fest is my favorite film festival, hands down. PopSyndicate.com. Your one stop for all your unhealthy obsessions. Breaking news and in-depth reviews on all of your favorite movies, music, TV shows, podcasts, comics, books.

PopSyndicate.com. Hello, this is Sonny. Landon, welcoming you. To Movie Meltdown. This is a chopper!

I said, oh man, what you want me this morning, this morning so bad? I said, oh man, what you want me this morning, this morning so bad? He said, oh, make your dirty old soul mine. I had a pretty cool switchblade thing. Carry around all the time.

One of my buddies was trying to get rid. Of it. He's like, do you want this? it's like hell yeah sure all right okay yeah. Free deadly weapon i got it out to phoenix and like realized that i was flying back and i was like yeah sorry you can't come with me just one of the kids that i was staying with out there i was like. You want this and they were like It's just continually being passed around now.

The next day he was like. Do you want this in his grandmother's life? I guess. Yeah. At some point it's actually going to get used.

Yeah. You know, after I watched Blue Velvet, I was obsessed with finding a switchblade stiletto. They are impossible to find. You can't find them anywhere. I believe.

Did I have a switchblade stiletto on Blue Velvet? Yeah. I don't remember that. You could probably generate one pretty easily. That'd be fucking sweet.

They have the stripper shoes with the screws in the bottom. No, like a knife, it comes out like a, like most switchblades come out. This one, it just like. Goes out straight. I thought those were like angel knives.

They're called switchblades, stilettos, whatever. They probably have different names. I think they're my shoes. That would be awesome. Which I've seen in movies, too.

That would be awesome. I think that's in Roadhouse, actually. It's sad. That's true, actually. I'm just going to remove the heels on all of my shoes and replace it with a kitchen knife, like a cut-co knife.

That would be awesome. Good luck at the airport, by the way. The Russian chicks go. Uh-huh. Got one.

Yeah. Who? The Russian chicks. From Russia with Love. Oh.

Amazing. Nice. Not the Bond girl, but the... Boy, I can't remember her name. A lot of vagina.

A lot of vagina. She's my favorite. Okay, all right. Madame Twatala. Speaking of getting sidetracked, let's go.

All right, we are back with What's the Buzz? Tell me what's happening, what's the buzz? Tell me what's happening, what's the buzz? is gonna be a buzzkill buzz um aren't they always kind of actually the first one's pretty fun i think we'll we'll get a little enjoyment out of that because um the first one is basically just um Returning to last week's top story, which is making fun of Megan Fox. Oh, gosh. Nice.

I just wanted to go ahead and round that out because we had so much fun with it last time. Playing on the thumbs. So, yeah, she got axed last week. So as of this week, one week later, they've already replaced her. And the new lucky girl is a Victoria's Secret model named Rosie Huntington Whitley.

Shut up. I thought they were replacing her with six thumbs or six fingers. She was up for the role, but obviously she probably had a real price tag involved. Because, I mean, she's been in, like, the last two or three bits. I mean, she was just in Clash of the Titans.

She was just in Prince of Persia. I don't remember this girl. Gemma? The one we were just talking about last week? No, but I don't remember her from it.

Oh, okay. Apparently she was born with six fingers. And she's awesome because of that. I have chiggers. But...

She had them removed, though. They were floppy and useless. Yeah. But no, I'm assuming they got this chick for like nothing because this is the best part. And I think this is my favorite like slap in the face to girl because, yeah, she has no acting experience whatsoever.

Her IMDb page consists entirely of appearances on the Victoria's Secret fashion show and an episode of Britain's Next Top Model as herself. Word. So, yeah. She'll be better than Megan Fox. Yeah, that sort of puts it in context as to what exactly Michael Bay thought of her acting skills.

Let's be honest. I mean, I think Shia is kind of cute and all, but like... How in the real world would this guy, this regular doofus, land smoking hot Victoria's Secret? Because he knows giant robots. Yeah, I guess.

It's the only reason, basically. Hey, baby, do you like robots? She's kind of tray with trash anyway. Yeah, she kind of is. But I have used that line before.

And it doesn't work, mind you. It doesn't? No. It worked for me. Do you want to see my giant robot?

I did once use, do you want to come back to my place and see my probe droid? But never mind. Very nice. Sadly, that's all true. I think my buddy had tried, I got a six pack.

And some Italian horror movies. That's good. And it worked several times. Yeah. Oh, wow.

You found the right girl. That's all good. Yeah. I'd probably be like, okay. Let's go.

Yeah, exactly. I'd probably be down for any Italian horror movie, but it'd probably depend on what type of beer would be the deciding factor for me. Is it old style, or is it like... franz's. Pbr maybe for pbr i'd follow you home. I was gonna say you're being a beer snob but then you went with pbr so.

I don't really know i have a beer snob but i like pbr pbr is actually good i will not drink bud light and i will not drink biller light or course light but i will drink pbr it is good it has flavor for a cheap beer especially i'm not a big fan of old style which is kind of in the same category yes definitely. Lone Star. Alcoholics. No, it's an occupational hazard. Right?

All right. So, yeah, we brought in our new Victoria's Secret model. So from that casting to another new casting, Dimension Films has announced that they have a new female lead in line for the upcoming Scream 4. Screen four i thought this is gonna be like solid fourth one yeah wasn't there yeah it's sad that nobody knows the difference at this point no sadly they stopped. At three so as much as we all were hoping they were.

Like banging on it's a trilogy It's not a trilogy when there's more than three assholes. Trying to give it up. Well, they've changed it up because now they put out a teaser poster this week that says, I believe, new decade, new rules. So now they can start an entire new trilogy with a whole new set of rules. Why don't they just make a different movie?

Because you can't bank off the money that's already in a title. You need title recognition. That suit is so stupid now. I like that freaking face. That's what I was going to say.

In this world where it's become scary movie, that suit, it was awesome, that first movie. It changed horror movies, but now it's a joke. I mean, it's become a joke. I just imagine one of the Wayans brothers wearing it. Yeah.

What's up? And I'm not even going to do the voice. Because my mom does that. Please don't. And I can choke her to death every time she does.

Please. So, yeah, to me, that's the hardest part in selling this project at this point is the fact that it's so played out. And, you know, even if you try to change it up and go a different way with it, I don't know, but. It's not like Jason or Freddy where, you know, they got played out, but still, you know, they had good looks. Like, Freddy was always a good look.

Jason was always an awesome look. Well, the Scream, the suit worked, but it was like a novelty, you know? It's like it's not something you can keep dragging out forever. Especially after you've seen a smoking pot. Yeah.

Once again, Scary Movie has ruined the Scream franchise, so they need to just realize that. Recognize. So, the new cast is at least famous by her family. The new female lead, I guess the one that will become the new Sidney... is Emma Roberts. Oh, okay.

So the, yeah, the sort of a child star now. She's been Nancy Drew in Hotel for Dogs, and she was unfabulous. So, I mean, she's had quite a little run of shows as a kid, but I guess she's, like, 19 now, so she's trying to, like, break on through and be an adult star. This, I'm sure, will be good for her career. It will get her out in the world.

How is she related to the Roberts? Is she, like, Eric Roberts' daughter? She's Eric's daughter. So, yeah, she's Julie's deece. Okay.

I killed it. Problem solved. They're everywhere themselves. So yeah, we're relating to the fabulous Roberts clan, but I don't know if it's going to solve anything. I think they're also supposedly bringing in Hayden Panatera...

How the fuck do you say it? Hayden Panatera. There you go. Who is he? Cheerleader.

Cheerleader. Heroes. Oh, that chick, yeah. That chick that's selling you shampoo on the TV all the time. Oh, it's proactive, isn't it?

That's what she is. I think she did... Didn't she do shampoo, too? She does proactive. She did Neutrogena.

She's done everything. Adorable. She is... She's right here. What do you think?

I can't hate her. She has curly, bouncy hair. She is cute. She's going to look 17 forever, though. That's pretty much her selling point at this point.

The internet is overrun with pictures of her because of that. Amber had a cell phone. Don't let them lie to you all. I do have Kristen Bell on my cell phone. Hopefully she's not going to be there all coked out, no panties, stumbling.

That's my cell phone that has pictures of Hayden. Painted to it. That's true, actually. Actually i i downloaded that picture to save it as your picture when you call i'm serious. Okay weird not really sure what that means but all right i don't know So, yeah, they do still have everybody pretty much coming back.

Even Neve Campbell is coming back. But they're bringing in a new, you know, female lead. So does that mean Neve's not going to do so well this time around? It's probably going to be her daughter, maybe. I bet it's Neve Campbell's daughter.

Maybe. But, I mean, they've got, they've still got. Courtney Cox coming in. Yeah, Courtney Cox and David Arquette are both still signed on. What about that tall, weird guy that, like.

He was in Hackers. Matthew Lillard. Yeah, I like Matthew Lillard. He has a bad tooth to gum. He's been dead a long time.

Did he die? Yeah, he's been dead since the first one. Yeah. Did you just tune into those movies? Yeah, his best friend killed him.

It's been a long time. Oh, yeah. Whatever happened to that guy that was like a poor man's Johnny Depp? That's Skeet. Skeet.

Skeet. Is he coming back? He died in a long time. Where are you? Well, yeah, they both died in the first movie.

Yeah, they were both in the first movie. Because they stabbed each other too deep. Yeah. Yeah. That was awesome.

I'm dying here, man. I'm dying here. Oh, God. Fuck. Anyway.

That part's awesome. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I haven't seen any of the Scream. Oh, no. All right, now we're going to go watch Scream.

Oh, shit. I was thinking that possibly Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich were actually dead. In real life. Well, Steve Ulrich might be. Career-wise.

Career-wise, yes. Yes, they are. I know Brad Renfrow is. Oh, I feel. Oh, yeah, he did die.

I forgot about that. Bodhi. Yeah, anyway. So, yeah, but everybody's on, like, even, again, surprising, like, Wes Craven, I can see, because he kind of, once again, he always kind of needs to redeem himself. I mean, every time you turn around, he's back on, you know, the low end of the director scale again.

So, I can see that one, but they even have Kevin Williamson coming back to write it, which, to me, he was way more instrumental in sort of the, you know, revolutionary screenplay and what they did that sort of changed everything in the horror game. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's cool that they're both coming back, but again, it's just so played out. I don't know what to do. Let's just call it Yelp.

Just like, yeah, reboot it or something. I don't know. Well, that's what they think they're doing, but it's hard to reboot when everybody from the last movie is in this one. Yeah, seriously. I forget 10 years ago.

Yeah. Actually, we as a country have such a short attention span, we did. Yeah. We did about three years after that. All right, so.

Quentin Tarantino's third movie as official director full-length was Jackie Brown, the adaption of the 1992 Elmore Leonard novel Rum Punch. And the characters portrayed in it that were Robert De Niro and Samuel L. Jackson in the movie also appear in Leonard's 1978 novel. novel, The Switch. So now, with Tarantino's approval and with Elmore Leonard as executive producer, The Switch is also being adapted as a movie, which makes it effectively a prequel to Jackie Brown. Is it going to be Tarantino?

He's approved of it at this point. There is no director, so... To me, it would be interesting if they brought Tarantino back in to play with these characters again. But it actually takes place earlier in their lives, so it will be a younger version, so they're going to be different actors. But it would still be interesting if they brought Tarantino in to take these same two characters.

But he's got so many things he's talking about doing, I don't know that he'll actually have time to do this. All that damn coke, he needs to focus. Well, that too. So, I don't know. At this point, my question for you guys is, who's going to play young De Niro and young Samuel L.

Jackson? Big Willie style son for young Samuel L. Jackson. If you had a couple years on him, I wouldn't surprise me. Is it that kid that's in the...

Yeah. Okay. I can see that. What's his name? Jaden.

Jaden, yeah. How young? Are we talking? I don't know. I mean, it's just, I'm assuming it's more like.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like a child. Looks like them in preschool. Yeah.

I'm assuming it's more like in their, like, mid-20s. Okay. De Niro. What about that guy that's in all those, fuck. Rushmore I'm sure what's the guy what's the guy that directed who's the guy that directed Rushmore and Bottle Rocket and Wes Anderson Wes Anderson the guy that's in the Wes Anderson movies I don't remember his name.

He was also the one with glasses. No he's got a mole on his face. Oh he's the one that was in the band what the hell is it. He was in the movie Spun that had John Leguizamo and that guy that guy oh my god I see his face I don't know. He's an odd one.

He's a weird actor. Yeah, he is. He's an odd one. He makes me uncomfortable. That's what you're looking for, really.

Jason Schwartzman. Jason Schwartzman. Schwartzman, okay. Schwartzman. Gotcha.

Trustee. Yeah. It's not the furthest thing from De Niro, I guess. It looks like he got De Niro at. The mall and everything.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I don't know if he has the intensity. He's got weirdness, but... Who's. Missy's love from Star Trek?

Chris Pine? Maybe Chris Pine? Maybe. I could see that. I don't know if he looks like it.

He's got the head, maybe. I don't know if he looks like it, but again, he's pretty hot at this point in the Hollywood scene. I could see them casting him. He's got kind of rough, kind of, you know, fuck off. Yeah, like, seems like he could carry that, right?

I was going to say, where's the Chris Penn microphone? That's right. I always look at that. I just watched that last week. It's pretty good, actually.

It's entertaining. I loved it. It's entertaining. I'm so in love with it anymore. So send us in your thoughts, people listening, if you'd like to.

Who should play younger versions of Samuel? And De Niro. I'm just afraid they're going to give it to, like, Chris Tucker or something. Oh, God, no. That was my favorite part of that movie was when he got shot.

Yeah, seriously. Spoiler alert. But, yeah, that's my favorite part in the movie. Is little Bow Wow still acting? He's probably.

Oh, God. I think he just goes by Bow Wow. Yeah. Wow. Or just wow.

I'm super grown. As he gets older. Probably known as W. W. When he becomes president.

Yeah. Oh, shit. This guy came into my work the other day to change our paper towel dispenser, and he was so fucking annoying. He was like a poor man's Chris Rock. I was like, please stop talking.

I think Chris Rock is his own poor man. I know, but he was just a regular guy who fucking works for a linen company, but he really thought he was... I don't know if he was trying to be Chris Rock or if... It was just like this unfortunate thing that had happened to him. I don't know.

It was awful. His mom told him he made a good price. Yeah. He's like, would you just please change the linens and go other places to hit on your route? Install the fucking towel dispenser and get the fuck out of my place of business.

Wait, wait, I got a funny story. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Back on track. Did he start saying funny things about white people? He did. No, it was actually gay white people.

Oh. And I was like, this guy. Right here, he happens to be a gay white dude and you're insulting him. Why don't you back off, dude? Yeah.

Face Chris Rock. Anyway, sorry. Told you it's me that does that random tangent thing. Yeah, pretty much. We don't have a train of thought anymore.

It's like just this amalgamation. Alright, so I threw this one in just because it allows me to say Antoine Fuqua. Fuqua is awesome. Fuqua. Anyway, Bruce Willis is in early talks to star in The Tomb, which would reunite him with his Tears of Sun director, Antoine Fuqua.

Fuqua. Fuqua. Fuqua. But I like the plot as we roll on here. Willis would star in the Summit Entertainment prison escape drama as the world's foremost authority on structural security. who is framed and imprisoned in one of the prisons he himself designed.

This is such a Hollywood story. Yeah, Jesus. Where else? I mean, I don't know too much about the legal system, but who exactly is in charge of sending who to what prison? Because shouldn't there be a red flag?

Don't send him to his own. To his own? He would cross the desk at some point. I guess. There's, you know. in a pile of paper somewhere and somebody just rubber stamped them all didn't.

They already do this wasn't it called like jailbreak or whatever that show was on fox for. Like five years yeah every episode. Was like the same every episode was like did they get out of jail this time and i'm like no it's been like five fucking years why is this show so long they're not out of jail and then. At one i don't I don't know when they get out and they break back. In to get somebody else out I still like I watched it over and over again like I watched.

All the episodes but every single episode of the prisoner was just like oh we almost got it you get to the end and like i think i just ignored the fact that i've watched any other episodes every time i was like oh he's still stuck in prison it's like. Scooby doo it's like you know what the outcome of every episode is gonna. Be it's like the show called like dying from super aids or something it's like you're waiting every episode from the die from super aids but it just never happens it got. Lost it got so crazy that you were so confused by the time you started the episode from the last episode by the end of the episode you still had no idea. What was going on because you enjoyed the shit out.

Of it Where am I? I don't know, but I love it. I don't know. This just seems like a bad plan for the prison system as far as that's concerned. So what's it called?

The Tomb. The Tomb. Which doesn't even fit, really. I'm sure they've got a stupid reason they call it that. I'm sure they'll say it at one point in the movie, which I love.

And then we all have to scream real loud. This place is like a tomb, man. It sounds like cube. oh yeah cube was awesome was that like the devil's tomb i. Just watched that really months ago yeah oh it's awesome where they it's like a a weird mouse trap it's like the number changing rooms with different death traps in them type thing it's like a rubik's cube yeah that sounds space it's really cool but the second one is really bad because it gets into alternate alternate dimensions i watched a little bit of. The second one yeah i.

Was like either i'm too stoned or yeah i just anymore I just. Wanted to know why there's not a Japanese game show that's exactly like Saw but real because I would watch that. And they would do it. They would do it. They would back it.

They could get like advertisers. Hell yeah. Actually. First running man. Yeah.

Uncensored. Like the show, what was it? MXC or whatever. Yeah. Like I lived over in Israel for a while and we were getting like the uncensored ones.

Nice. Like. In Japanese. Oh, God. Like, there weren't even subtitles or anything.

Nice, nice. And so there wasn't all the MXC, like, commentary. Like, you really need subtitles. Which is awesome. It's all fake anyway.

Yeah. Lord. So, what all kinds of hardcore stuff were they up to? You know, there's nudity, probably. Oh, yeah.

In the show, like, you know. Yeah. Were they just beating people? I didn't really understand. You have to drink a gallon of your own.

While they wore the Velcro suit, they missed and broke their neck. Oh, awesome. People died? I don't know. I'm just assuming.

Tiny Japanese schoolgirls came out and cheerleaded. Which is very popular. I'd watch that. I could watch that every day. This all seems awesome to me.

Every day of my life. Oh, Lord. Anyway. We'll get away from that. And this isn't any better.

This just makes no sense to me and is worn out as well. This is the buzzkill. So a few years back, it was reported that comic strip creator Scott Adams had sold the right to adapt his popular office worker character Dilbert as a feature film. Popular how many years ago? I mean, really, when the hell has Dilbert been like.

Cubicle humor is only so funny. I mean, Office Space was already made. There's a lot of cubicles. And it was awesome. There's a lot of cubicles that are empty.

And the office... well that's that's the thing i have two of them yeah yeah we need more of. This i mean drew carrey wasn't he just like a wannabe dilbert. That's what i thought i always thought that was just sort of their live action version of dilbert was when they made the drew carrey show which was good so yeah they brought in director ken who did he's just not that into you that's just not selling this any better. Get out i totally have that book and watch that movie sorry. Guys That's it.

You're off the show. I don't have the book, though. I mean, I was dating a guy and he just wasn't that into me. I needed a fucking book to figure this out. I don't think the book fixes those problems.

What's wrong with that? I've just come to assume that it's going to be like that. I get over it. There's no book for me. Well, deliberate humor to me is just like, you have to work in that office environment, and it's super dry, and it's super condensed down to this is only going to be funny a little bit to these type of people.

Yeah i don't think you can paste. Yeah totally i don't think you can market that to the masses in a way that they would think it's funny at all i mean. The closest thing you could would be the office which is already around so i don't know what exactly but that's the thing that they brought in this this director and who has done 12 episodes of the office so i mean are we just going to be dragging out i mean Oh, God help us. Yeah. So, I don't know.

It's like, what exactly are they going to do with this that hasn't already been done in other office comedies? And the only thing that makes even less sense is the fact that there is a talking dog in this comic strip. Well, we just got Marmaduke. I know. So are they going to do a CGI version of Dogbert?

Probably. Are we really going to have to live through that? Why was there ever a dog in the office anyway? I don't know. Why does a dog wear glasses?

Doesn't he wear glasses? Isn't he also the devil? The dog? I could be wrong. Maybe it's just an episode or a strip where he was the devil.

I guess it just depends on what office you're in. Maybe some cool office. My favorite liquor store back home had three pet cats that used to hang out. I love stores that have pets. I love stores that have pets, but then there are some people who have really absurd phobias of cats and dogs and stuff like that.

It's so funny. Sorry. I did it again. Tangents. Tangent train.

That's how we roll. Jump on board. So Dilbert, the movie, is going to suck, basically. I don't know what to do with that. Is there any way to email him?

Just tell him no. Hollywood? No. Attention, Hollywood. No.

Please stop making stupid movies. The end. Send that money to some starving children. Me. Or just sponsor our show.

Thank you. Please do. Hollywood, sponsor our show with your ridiculously wasted money. Thank you. We're sponsored by Hollywood.

That's all I'm looking for. Why not have this Ziggy movie? I think we talked about this last week. Because you've got Marmaduke. Okay, Garfield is a comic... strip that garfield.

And friends was awesome the old cartoon was awesome the movie have you seen the new show that's on the cgi one that's where we were watching every day it is. Horrible no wonder children are growing up retarded yeah. Seriously pretty much it's just like okay marmaduke came out you know that looked brilliant uh because we already had like Beethoven or whatever. Beethoven was okay. And that was at least fun.

He didn't talk. No, exactly. He wasn't CG either. Yeah. He was a dog.

Imagine that. But the comic strip movie thing that's going on, it's like the family circus, no, should not be. Because it's the same thing. I hate the family circus. It never makes me laugh.

I'm not a parent, and I understand it's for parents, but still, it's stupid. It's like, come on. Yes, yes it is. When are they going to stop? I'd be okay with a Ziggy movie.

If it was like cartoon, like But a whole movie? Maybe like a short at the end of Toy Story. Would he kill himself at the end of it? Because it seems like he always just wants to die. He does have a downer life.

He's very despotic, yeah. A very downer life. Oh my god, yes. Awesome. Oh, no.

Okay, on all that, we'll just leave it. On, like, three out of those four. On most of them, yes. Which one is the one that you're, like, greenlighting out of this? Oh, the Quentin Tarantino.

Oh, okay. Yeah. We like that idea. I forgot that we mentioned that because so many other things happen. There's a lot of horrible, horrible things that they do every week, and we talk about them because that's our thing.

Wow. That's what we do. So. If nothing else, we will round out the first part here. And I thought, if nothing else, we should pay tribute to an awesome dude that passed on.

I didn't even notice this until today. Gary Coleman or Dennis Hopper are both. Gary Coleman's dead? Gary Coleman did not really have an illustrious movie career. Yeah, but I mean, he was Gary Coleman.

Gary Coleman died? What was this? On the Right Track was pretty cool, but I'm the only one that remembers that movie. I'm sad for Dennis Hopper. I was like, no.

Dennis Hopper died a long time ago. No, it was last weekend. See okay it was like two days ago. Because i was like thinking i was out. Of the loop and just he was really sick like the pictures yeah pictures came out and he was like a living skeleton so you knew he was getting close yeah we saw pictures.

Of him back in march he had like a big yeah he was in bad shape well i'm glad that he got his star all right before he died. Yeah he was a great King Koopa. Funny that I we watched that this week yeah last week I own that movie personally it's. Awesome and he's awesome in it which that brought me to yeah I said that the other day I was like you know I would watch Dennis Hopper in anything anything he's in some horrible horrible movies Waterworld was good and he's likeable yeah the fourth crow movie is terrible but he's fucking entertaining in it like Waterworld He's hilarious in Waterworld. I will watch that all the damn time.

So yeah, that's the best thing you can say about him is that he, aside from being an amazing actor and he was a groundbreaking director, he really did sort of change movies at that point when he started directing. And was a painter and a photographer and, I mean, you name it, he really was a hell of a guy anyway. They said most of his personal wealth was just from him, like, selling his paintings and stuff. Yeah, I mean, I actually went... I've never seen him.

Neither have I. I drove up and saw, like, a photography exhibit that he had that I think was in Cincinnati or somewhere, and it was really cool. It was very different and, you know, stuff that you wouldn't see from somebody else. Once again, he was always, like, just really original in the way that he, you know, as weird as he was, he's a weird guy, don't get me wrong, but... He was amazing and fascinating.

God, he was crazy at Blue Velvet. 74. And he has a seven-year-old daughter. Yep, yep. And once again, he's a fascinating guy.

Strong swimmers. And didn't Art Link. Let her die? Yeah, that was earlier in the week, yep. Okay, but Gary Coleman, what the hell happened?

Did he have cancer of his butt? He's had problems his whole life. Obviously, his health issues have always been in question, but Yeah, he fell, like, earlier in the week and hit his head, and then he was in the hospital and having other problems and whatever. If I died from falling and hitting my head, I would have been dead, like. That's true.

But then who among us wouldn't be dead at this point? Oh, well, that sucks. You know, I saw Gary Coleman. He was on an episode of Drake and Josh on Nickelodeon. Oh, really?

I like that show. Drake's kind of hot. Was he still a security guard? Yes. Oh.

That kid's got spunk. He's going places. I don't know about that. Josh is thin now. Yeah.

He looks kind of weird. Yeah. I'm not used to seeing him like that. His face is still kind of big. Yeah.

But his body is like really teeny. Yeah. Peter Jackson. Yeah. That's weird.

Or like, what's his face from Superbad? He looks weird now. I'm sorry. He got big again. Did he?

No, he's not thin now. He's in that new movie that's coming out. Yeah, but he's not like he used to be. No, he is big. He used to be pretty.

He's bigger. He's bigger. Okay. Because he looked weird when he lost all that. I think he's just been eating like bags of marshmallows.

Good. Because he looked freaking weird when he lost all that weight. I don't know what was up with that. Because, well, yeah, wasn't his face the same size? I like wanting to pinch his cheeks and be like, you need to eat something.

Oh, look at you all small. You're just not funny when you're not fat. That's usually what they find out. Yeah. When you're the comic lead, you better not lose weight or you lose your job.

They're so funny. Shit. That's why you got laid. Get that weight back on. Man, really.

All right. They can see it, and that's all that matters. I'm sorry, everybody. Moving on. So if nothing else, we'll round up the first half of the show here.

And yeah, I was trying to find something cool and Dennis Hopper related to play. And I think I'd forgotten that he was actually in a song with the Gorillaz. Yes. And he does like a big spoken word thing. It's really cool.

And, yeah, I went back to find out when, and it's, yeah, this was from, you know, 2004. So he would have been 68. 68 and hanging out with, you know, rock stars of the day. So, I mean, how cool. You know that he's a cool old dude.

That's awesome. Yeah, that's how cool he was. I'll have to listen to the show and hear it. Yeah, this would be fire coming out of a monkey's head, which is very Gorillaz, obviously. Wasn't he, like, a beat poet, though?

Again, he did a little of everything. So this is actually a very good mixture because it's very much his more artistic side mixed in with their music. So yeah, it's actually a good conglomeration of the both of them. Did Dennis Hopper ever have an album like. it just hasn't come out yet oh i'm sure now they were released telly fucking zavala yeah i have that on vinyl you. Know i was really disappointed that uh i couldn't find paradise garage i kind of like really wanted to listen to that.

I have it on cd yeah i know i know i got an. Anthony hopkins spoken word wow um it was just a single track called when you wish upon a star like from pinocchio yeah no no no was it real weird and like when you wish yeah there was like there are a lot of like uh never-ending story like kind of sound. Effects oh really yes and um Like an entire female chorus. Oh my god. Interesting.

This sounds very interesting. It was really creepy. Yeah. Weird. I saw Chris Walken doing Poker Face.

Really? Did Chris Walken do anything at all? He's always entertaining. And he was like reading the lyrics like he didn't even practice. He was like face.

Poker face. That's going to be sad when he goes. I want to do it. Like they do with Texas Baby. I'll probably kill myself.

Yeah. It was really good. That is sad. I don't think he'll die though. I hope not.

Anyway. All right. We will wrap up the first half here and invite you to come back and join us for this week's Sofa Theater feature. Hard beeps. Hard beeps.

Do you have time to go get some Francis Conner? I mentioned it earlier now. Of course you can. What do you want? Francis Conner, delicious beer.

She's bigger. I just wanted food. Beer is food. Beer sounds delicious. Yeah.

What? I said beer sounds delicious. Beer. Beer. Beer.

Okay, so. How about we divide in teams? Beer, food. Go food. Do we get cheerleaders for this?

I think four of us are on team beer. One of us is on team food. Fine then. Let's do this. Alright, well let's do this fast.

Alright. Come back and join us. Thank you, please. Once upon a time at the foot of a great mountain, there. Was a town where the people known as happy folk lived. their very existence a mystery to the rest of the.

World, obscured as it was by great clouds. Here they played out their peaceful lives, innocent of the litany of excess. And violence that was growing in the world below. To live in harmony with the spirit of the mountain called monkey was enough. Then one day.

Strange folk arrived in the town. They came in camouflage, hidden behind. Dark glasses, and no one noticed them. They only saw shadows. You see, without the truth of the eyes, the happy folk were blind.

Falling out of airplanes and hiding out in holes, waiting for the sunset to come, people going home. Jump that broom behind them and shoot them in the head Now everybody's dancing for Dance of the Dead For Dance of the Dead For Dance of. The Dead. In time, the strange folk found their way into the higher reaches of the mountain, and it was there that they found the caves of unimaginable sincerity and beauty. By chance, they stumbled upon the place where all good souls.

Come to rest. The strange folk, they coveted the jewels in these caves above all things, and soon they began to mine the mountain, its rich scene fueling the chaos of their own world. Meanwhile, down in the town, the happy folk slept restlessly, their dreams invaded by shadowy figures digging. Away at their souls. Every day, people would wake and stare at the mountain, Why was it bringing darkness into their lives?

And as the strange folk climbed deeper and deeper into the. Mountain, holes began to appear, bringing with them a cold and bitter wind that chilled the very soul of the monkey. For the first time, the happy folk felt fearful, for they knew that soon the monkey would stir from its deep sleep. Then there came a sound. Distant first, it grew into a castrophony so immense that it could be heard far away in space.

There were no screams. There was no time. The mountain-cold monkey had spoken. There was only fire. And then, nothing.

What kind of beer do you like? Heineken. Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, with opening music performed by The Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.