91.1: Pure Gold from the Butts of Hollywood

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. We're not going. To be opening for anybody until our lead singer gets over his stage fright.

I don't have stage fright yet. Yeah, then why'd you pass out on stage at Bing's party before the first song? That was one show, man. Yeah, that was our only show and you dropped like a dead deer on us. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown.

I am Brian. I am Misty. I'm Jay. I'm Marlena. Yay for us.

Alright supposedly uh Roger and Joni are off at a wedding this week or so his phone call this morning said oh that's what they said yeah I know they said they were going to do that they may just be you know skipping town or hiding they might be underneath their couch right now I don't know their fort they made a fort you never can tell with us two he's in the middle of a nerf battle probably that's actually a good possibility he's. Been down he's calling reinforcements. I can't be at the show this week. I'm under a fire. I'm pretty sure she could totally take him.

Oh, yeah. We all know that. Come on. All right. I guess we can move on into this week's geek activities.

This week, the main movie I watched that we can discuss, I guess, I did watch, and I will preface it by saying I'm not going to go on and on about what we probably normally would under this circumstance. I watched The Runaways. How was it? And I'm not going to go on and on about girl because we do every week. She's got a stupid face.

Okay, we had that comment last week and you weren't even here. Are we talking about the same person? Yes. I was like, okay, maybe we're safe this week. Misty's not here.

And like two seconds in, Joni goes, I don't like that girl's face. I was like, damn it. We can't go a week without it. I knew there was a reason I liked Joni. So, yeah, I won't even go into her much more than I will say, this is probably the most functional she's ever been in a movie.

Now, that's not saying much, because then you realize, well, what's the normal thing she does in all of her roles? She stands there, she doesn't say a lot, she looks all broody, and so I'm like, okay, well, she's playing Joan Jett, who doesn't really say that much, always looks pissed, which you can equate to brooding, and yeah, it sort of lends itself to being Joan Jett, so... That and you slap the hair on her because she has very signature hair, especially 70s and 80s. So once you've got that, you know, you put on some leather pants, you're kind of Joan J. You don't really have to do a ton, so...

Really, I mean, they give the much showier role to Dakota Fanning, and for good reason, because she does a hell of a lot with it. She actually is impressive in it, and she's kind of... I mean, her and their producer is amazing. That guy is. That's because Dakota Fanning's an actress.

She is, and she... I mean, that's the thing. She totally owns that role. I mean, because the girl's got a hell of a lot more drama going on, so, I mean, Joan's just kind of, like, pissed off and wants to be a rock star, and she turns out being a rock star. I mean, there's not as much. going on in her situation.

She's just, she's very disconnected. And they, it's funny that she actually was signed on. She's like, I think executive producer. And I think she had, you know, story, you know, approval. On a lot of this.

So she was actually the only one really connected to it. I heard Joan Jett made Kristen Stewart cry at some point during that movie. That's pretty funny. One more reason I like Joan Jett. That could just be something I heard or made up in my own head.

But I don't know, that totally hurt. Sounds good. She didn't cry. Doesn't seem too far fetched to me. But Joey seems not ready to cry.

She needs to cheer the fuck up. I mean, come on. If you were Kristen Stewart and you were constantly torn and your heart was constantly torn between Jacob and Edward, wouldn't you want to be? Wouldn't you be on the verge of tears always? You have a downy face when you're constantly on the verge of tears.

God, I fucking hate her. Again, I've seen several of hers recently, and this is, again, probably the most useful she's been. That's not saying a lot. And Jacob's way hotter than Edward, by the way. Yeah.

Oh, for sure. Well, duh. Duh. But, yeah, I really ended up liking it. It doesn't do much more than I expected, really.

I mean, it does just set out to tell the little story of the forming of this group, and, I mean, they didn't last a whole lot. And then they kind of skip over the last couple years by the time— Cherie disappears from it. They don't even cover the rest of the time that Joan's still sort of running the band the last couple of years. So it just kind of takes that little start from when they start up. And I think it's pretty well done for what it is.

I think visually it's impressive. The rest of the girls completely disappear into the background. Again, I think we decided at least one of them didn't sign off for it. They kind of show the drummer a little bit. I'm still just completely not sold with Scout.

I'm sorry. She's just not impressive and um she by the end of it she just makes lita ford look like a bitch i can picture lita ford which maybe that's all true i don't know. But she wasn't signed on for it though was she i. Don't know her name's not attached to anything so i don't know if you want anything to do with this probably not but which maybe is why joan was like go. Ahead act like a bitch is this gonna lead the way for a gogos movie.

Probably because i'd watch a go-go's. Movie i think they had some pretty uh some scandalous times too. Sex drugs and rock and roll for go-go's. You wouldn't think that from the go-go's they seem pretty clean cut but not the uh stories i've heard about them not at all not at. All when uh what's her name's is the dominatrix now so which one jane uh i can't remember her name you.

Want the little pixie hair yeah the bass player yeah the bass player she. Seems she's the cutest she does. So she's entertaining can you imagine her like yelling at. You kind of like actually she seems like she'd be. Into that.

You know you want it don't lie so yeah that was pretty much it on that one it's i think it's worth watching if you like that kind of stuff again i i got past girls so um That's your only main hurdle. Everybody else in it is actually pretty good. The producer and decoder are the reason to watch it, really. Otherwise, I kind of watched a couple other things, but they're all sort of in preparation for the next upcoming show. I won't go into them now.

That's about all I've done this week. Should we start off with the ones we watched together and then work our way through what we did individually? Yeah, sure. All right, we watched Pandora on. Which we just mentioned last week.

It was good. I liked it. I liked all the movies that it ripped off. I did, too. I thought it was excellent.

It seemed like it was a mass of every other movie. It had Aliens. It had The Descent. It had. What else was in there?

Geez, a little bit of Event Horizon. Yeah. Oh, man. Pretty much any space movie, really. Anything that's in space that's got creatures that are trying to kill people.

Spaceballs? Eh, well, no, not like Spaceballs. Okay, well, not every Spaceballs. But Spaceballs is ripping off other movies that it rips off. Yes.

So there you go. What I like about this movie is pretty much that it has space madness. Yes. We're making space madness throughout the entire thing. I was ashamed of myself for recognizing an actor from the Twilight.

Movie in it. Oh, yeah. Had Cam Gigandet or whatever the fuck his name is. Gigandy, Gigandy. James from the original Twilight movie, which I was ashamed of myself for not only knowing, but God, I was just.

As well you should be. When you were talking about. When we were talking about that earlier, I realized for the first time that I'm definitely Team Jacob. I would hope so. Yeah.

I mean, you know, the conversation we were having... previous to the recording i mean sissy girly vampire he could kill things for you yeah big tough werewolf i'm gonna i. Don't even think he can kill deer he just looks like he'd. Cry but he looks better with a shirt off so are you talking about jacob or jacob. I always talk about edward oh edward what's. He gonna do just stand there and like be sparkly can i.

Pick somebody else that's how he blinds his prey isn't there a bride of frankenstein i can hook up with. Team why the fuck am i watching this movie oh my god when will it be. Over what else did we watch we watched Oh, watch Daybreaker. That's a movie that pissed me off. Eh, it was okay.

It was better than John Carpenter's Vampires. Yeah, but I slept through that. In the theater. I love that movie. What the hell's up with Willem Dafoe's stupid facial hair?

I don't know. And his stupid, cliche one-liners. We're supposed to be funny, but we're just lame. I love me a good barbecue. Dude, shut the fuck up.

Yeah, his one-liners were about as good as Stallone's one-liners or Schwarzenegger's one-liners in their earlier career. Wow. They were just cheesy, lame. And you're like, really? He said that?

Who the fuck wrote this? Stick around. Stick around. Yeah, stupid crap like that. But this movie pissed me off because it seemed like it had a pretty good concept.

I like the idea of vampires take over. There's not that many. People are dying out. There's not that many people left. They can't...

I was upset with the fact that, I'm like, seriously, you can't come up with a blood substitute? The Japanese are fucking smart. They're going to fix this shit. Yeah. How come the Japanese couldn't come up with it?

Leave it to the Americans. We've got to come up with a blood substitute. There are other people that come up with that shit. I'll tell you, the Japanese still couldn't figure that out before us. Us.

Misty had also pointed out, she was like, why weren't they smart enough to just start breeding humans? I mean, we breed cows for meat. Same thing with pigs, chickens, and everything else. No, we're just going to gather them all up and just drain them all out. Duh.

I'm stupid. Does that mean vampires are just idiots? I guess so. That's what it means. They can't come up with a good food solution.

Even I could fucking solve this problem. Yeah. But I thought it was interesting how, like, if they didn't, if they went for a certain period of time without blood, they started to turn more and more into these creatures. Feral beasts. Yeah.

Yeah. A lot more, um, the bad wings, but for those who haven't seen the movie, then don't listen to this part. Uh, the, the, the solution. Yeah. The solution.

Okay. Yeah. It's, it, It's kind of okay. No, it's not. It's stupid.

Okay, well. Are they infected by words? Yeah. No, no. It's like, you know, it's that quick burst of sunlight that chars them, and then they've got to cool down real quick.

And then they come back to life. And then they come back to life. It kind of could start your heart, you know, which, okay. You know, Willem Dafoe stumbles upon this because he's out driving around, and he wrecks and gets thrown through his windshield. He catches on fire, then falls in the lake, and then all of a sudden he's human again.

That's just the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Only surpassed by the fact that they did it. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, oh, now the new cure is if you get. Bit. If a vampire bites somebody.

Who's already been treated. Who's already got on fire. God, it was so stupid. Then he becomes human, too. So it's like if you drink. blood from a vampire that has now been made back to human you become human too so basically they just start feeding on each other and it's like oh okay you know okay we're human now and then all the vampires feed on them and then they become human it's just It's fucking ridiculous.

With any of these kind of movies, it's like you can enter in one new fact, you know, or something. You can add something to the mythology. But by the time you add two or three or four things, it's like you're overcomplicating things. Then at what point do they start to sparkle? Yeah.

Come on. You're just going to fucking rewrite the whole goddamn thing or what? And that's what she got. busted for because she had no she she changed everything about the mythology and that's you know these guys are not quite that bad but i mean yeah it gets a point where it just becomes too convoluted and people are like i don't even care anymore about your crazy rules there's too many. Of them and the fact that it just came out of fucking nowhere it's like they just put all this time with their oh if we catch them on fire and then cool them down they'll be human again where the fuck did this other solution come from yeah. I don't know they just What do you mean?

Where did it come from? Because, I mean, they spent all this time focusing on, okay, this is our cure. No, because he realized that his brother, remember, bit Willem Dafoe and then turned human, that last part. Then he realized what the deal was. So it's like an offshoot of the other version.

That's just fucked up. Which is why he had the, whatever, the main guy bite him, because he knew it would cause him to turn human. And Sam Neill is not a very effective scary vampire. No, he's not. Sam Neill.

He's known as a game show host, but not a head vampire? Really? Come on. I mean, not even a head vampire, but just, you know, one that controls a lot of shit. He's the head of the corporation that's, like, harvesting all the human blood and everything.

He seems about as evil as Elmer Fudd. Yeah. I mean, Sam Neill as, like, a made-for-TV movie cowboy, I could buy. Or a dad, you know, with a quirky son. Especially a dad, yeah.

Mm-hmm. Who doles out stupid advice. God, it pissed me off. Wow. And I fucking hate Ethan Hawke, too.

How can you hate Ethan Hawke? I loved him in Reality Bites, but he just pissed me off in everything else. Yeah, he's in good stuff on occasion, but yeah. He's working his way up to the ranks of Keanu Reeves, I'm telling you. Wow.

Actually, I was thinking he's probably reverting backwards. He'll be on SyFy before long. Woo! Hey, no, you can't do that because then Sean Patrick Flanery won't have any work. That's what I'm saying.

Once he gets totally kicked out of the cycle, they'll be like, who else do we have? I think that's the only things we watched together. On my own, I watched two and a half seasons of Big Wolf on campus in the past two weeks. So Tommy Dawkins, he's the man for me. And I'm hooking you up with your other copy of Nightmare Room.

I'm telling you, I'm going to watch me some Tommy Dawkins. Actually, it won't be Tommy Dawkins unless I'm missing it. I love that show. I love that it rips off pretty much everything ever, and I'm okay with it. Yeah, we called out what was the one last week that Supernatural did the same thing.

Every other week was just them ripping off a movie. But I like that Big Wolf's even more blatant about it because he will make reference to what movie they're ripping off in that episode. They're like, dude, this is just like in... What movie did they rip off? Oh, God, what haven't they ripped off?

I don't even remember. I've watched so many, but they've all kind of blurred together after a while. Third season, he gets better hair, so I'm excited about that. Second season, he had that stupid fucking George Clooney haircut, and I didn't dig that. Caesar do.

Yeah, I didn't like that Caesar do. It was all about the Clooney back in the day. I've always hated the Clooney. I'm guilty of having that haircut. Yeah.

Oh, really? Somebody gave me that haircut. Oh, God. I'm so glad I didn't know you then. I saw it would have been funny.

Yeah, I didn't like it. I had it for like a month and then grew my hair back out. I was like, oh, my gosh. The Caesar do and the little soul patch thing? God.

Those were two different times. You can't mix those two. I've seen a picture of you where you have like, long scraggly like bleached hair yeah. That's my surfer days. I watched bob ross the past two saturdays in a row and he did not sign his paintings which has kind of left me feeling unfulfilled in life so i don't know what the hell's up with that shit's done he ain't been signing his shit i don't like that i would write him an angry letter but i'm pretty sure he's.

Dead so So you think. You're pretty sure? So you think. He was awesome. I love Bob Ross.

If you're out there and you can hear me, dude, sign your shit from now on. Sign your paintings in heaven. He's sharing a house with Elvis right now. He's painting Elvis. On velvet.

Fuck yes. Why don't I own more velvet paintings? I don't know. You have Velvet Kenny. He's awesome.

I used to have a lot of velvet paintings. I only have two. I have the Velvet Kenny Rogers and the Velvet Willie Nelson. I want a Velvet Dolly Parton, so if anybody out there can help me out. Help a sister out, yeah.

She is, in fact, purchasing all these with the knowledge that they're the most bad taste items you could ever come up with. They're awesome. Yeah, but at least I'm making people aware that you're self-aware of the ridiculousness. Oh, I know how bad they are. Okay.

My mom doesn't. Grasp the concept. She doesn't get it. She thinks they're classy. Yeah.

She does. Did I ever tell you my mom bought, from Big Lots, she bought this fountain. It was glass, and it had LED lights that would light up, and it made smoke. Oh, I got to see this. Once she got drunk and knocked it over, and it broke, and she started crying.

She goes, I can't fucking have anything nice. I was like, Mom, stop. It was a $ 15 LED smoke-producing fountain from Big Lots. I wouldn't exactly call that nice. That's the nicest thing that she has, aside from the concrete unicorn.

I mean, she got really offended. She got really offended. I'm not even kidding. She was mad. She's like.

Oh, I'm sorry. I can't afford all the nice things that you have or something stupid like that. I don't know. Ridiculous. That's all I have.

What do you mean, all that I watch? I watch two and a half seasons of Big Wolf on Canvas. I'm just thinking, is that all you watch? Yeah. Another one of those 70-hour blocks of marathon viewing.

I watched it. Oh, great. Because boyfriend's going to bed at 9 o'clock now, so I have to stay. I'm using myself for several hours. That's trouble.

I've been watching it for the past two weeks. Well, it's been so hot that I have to go into work early so that I can get off work early before it starts getting really hot in there and we all die. Which is why we've not watched that much in the past two weeks together as a collective. So I've been getting off at 11 o'clock. In the morning when I'm leaving for work.

Yeah, so I've been coming home and I watched a couple movies if I can't fall asleep. Yeah, you've got a list. Yeah, it's not that big. Oh, pfft. It's not.

More of it's just junk. But I started off watching Black Dynamite because I really wanted to watch it, and I knew she didn't want to watch it. I've heard good things. Oh, my God. It's fucking awesome.

I feel like blaxploitation. And who doesn't? Me. Well, yeah, you. But it's great.

It's filmed like an old... Like, there's times when you're watching it, you're going, am I really watching an old movie, or am I watching an actual, like. you know, up-to-date movie, but it's, it's filmed. It's so cheesy. It's, it's awesome. It's got, uh, uh, Michael Jai, Jai White, I think.

Yeah. Uh, the same guy who plays Al Simmons in Spawn. Guy's awesome. He's ripped to shreds, kicks the hell out of everybody, kicks everybody's ass in that damn film, shoots people. Makes love to like 200 women.

Wow. How long is this movie? Uh, It's fucking long. No, it's not boring. It's just shit's going on constantly.

Who else was in it? You had told me that I forgot. Was it Arsenio Hall? Arsenio Hall was in it? Oh, yeah.

There's a lot of people that was in it that I didn't realize was in it because I was just sitting there eating lunch watching it. Or we're still alive. Yeah, I was just going, wow, this is awesome. It's so horribly awesome. But, yeah, I thought it was an awesome movie.

If you haven't seen it and you like that kind of stuff, go out and watch it. get it because it's funny uh the second movie i watched was the red baron uh i have i've been bitching earlier in earlier episodes about wanting a really good world war one uh flying film yeah uh there you go yeah you got fly boys which just kind of sucked i mean it just sucked it's fucking stupid so if you like Flyboys, eh, good for you. If you don't, then whatever. The Red Baron's right up there with the Blue Max and a couple other good World War I movies. But more importantly, it's got Till Schweiger in it. It's got Till Schweiger in it.

But yeah, maybe it's not 100% historically accurate. I've heard people kind of bitch about. It a little bit. Most movies aren't. But yeah, everybody's going to bitch about something.

But for me, visually, I thought it was fine. Fucking awesome the planes were awesome uh the dog fight scenes were great um it was just a great movie i thought uh it was filmed in germany in english which was kind of weird i think at the time it was like one of the most expensive films made in europe and it was also. The lowest grossing film in europe because. I think when it uh when they had come out it came out like in the middle of the week or something like that and nobody went to see it along with the fact that many Germans are still kind of leery about any kind of national heroes. I think they officially try to pretend those years didn't happen.

Yeah, but the thing they've got to understand is there were a lot of Jewish pilots, Jewish-German pilots. In World War I that fought. So, I mean, it's not, hey, you don't have to. Turn your back on everything. Yeah.

It's a big gray area that nobody knows how to deal with. Yeah, it does. But, I mean, if you like World War I stuff, if you love The Red Baron, it's pretty cool. I liked it. I definitely recommend it.

The other movie that I watched, too, got on a kick. We saw the trailer for it. It looked ridiculous. And I figured, well, I'll eat lunch and watch this movie. And if I fall asleep, it's no big deal.

But if I don't, you know, it's pretty cool. I watched Power Kids, which is a Thai movie. Kind of along the lines of Three Ninjas, which I normally wouldn't watch. But I figured, hell, if I fall asleep, it's no big deal. But it follows the lives of these kids whose parents have sent them to a Muay Thai camp in Bangkok.

One of the kids in there gets ill. He has to have a heart transplant. So, yeah, so the kids, yeah, fun for everyone. It's supposed to be a kid's movie, which is really weird. So the heart that the kid's going to get from this other hospital, there's a diplomat, U.S. diplomat that's going in there to get a routine checkup done.

The hospital gets taken over by terrorists. I hate when that happens. So this heart, they have this heart that's only got a four-hour shelf life that needs to be brought to this other hospital to be put in this little boy. Well, the kids decide they're going to take matters into their own hands. They're going to go get that damn heart for their friend.

All right. So they go and literally. It's... You can't even get water out of the refrigerator by yourself. Yeah, and these kids are like, they're probably like anywhere from range age like 10 to like maybe 14.

These kids fucking kick ass. I think it's done by the same director and writers who did The Protector. uh, and the guys who did a lot of the movies with, uh, Tony Shaw. So if you like the protector and unlock and stuff like that, these kids, it's like almost the same moves, but with little kids and there's like five of them attacking people, like guys at one time, you know, you can come flying out of nowhere. It's not true Muay Thai. So don't go off thinking, Hey, I want to learn Muay Thai.

Cause it's not, it's just, it's, it's, it's stuff for the camera, but still it's interesting. But yeah, for a kid's movie, it's bloody. Uh, Violent. It's violent as hell. A lot of cursing in it.

And I don't think there's any way this movie could be made in the United States because these. Kids constantly get in trouble and their teacher beats the hell. Out of them all the time. Kids need these days. They get caned.

I mean, he whips the crap out of them. And even the ending scene, which I know I've heard a lot of some people that have seen this have been kind of questionable on the ending scene. They're like, what the hell happened? It's like the little boy gets his heart. And everything's happy and everything like that.

But then for some reason, he ends up getting everybody else in trouble. So the master ends up whipping the little kid. The heart transplant? He's like, I'm going to do this for your own good. And he just sits there and whips the little kid.

And it's like, aw, it's such a happy ending. The kids are getting whipped. Now I'm going to poke your incision too. Ow, quit it. It's one of those, I guess, you know, In the U.S. where you're not allowed to even lay a hand on your kid, you know, and still some other countries and stuff like that.

It's okay to beat the fuck out of them. You can still beat the crap out of your kids. I think that's what's wrong with this country is now you can't lay a hand on your kid. It used to be I got the crap. Beat out of me when I was a kid.

Yeah, but you needed it. Yeah, I did. I was a bad kid. I really was. If I wasn't getting into dad's tools or setting the yard on fire or running into stuff or, you know, just, oh, geez.

I was just constantly... a pain in the ass. I still are. Yeah, I still am. That's why she has to beat you sometimes. I do.

Somebody has to put him in his place. She's not. Yeah, I know. Send help. You can't say anything.

I know I deserve it, you know. Run it at the mouth. Run it at the mouth like I do sometimes. You get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich. I know it's for my own good.

You only hurt the ones you love. You only beat the fuck out of the ones you love. So, I mean, that's pretty much it for me. I didn't do anything else. There's more, but she won't let you talk about it.

Yeah, she won't. You're done now. Stop talking. What about you, Marlene? Okay, well, I attempted to watch lots of movies, all kinds of movies.

I tried to watch Pandorum, fell asleep immediately. I tried to watch Donnie Darko last night, I fell asleep immediately. Now you're on my way of conversion of watching film. One thing about Pandorum, real quick, I'm sorry. I was so excited because it had like this one clip that was like 30 seconds, but it had Norman Reedus in it for 30 seconds.

And I knew it was him because he said fuck like every five seconds. Norman Reedus, you know, the other brother, the less attractive brother from boondock saints. Yeah. The formerly less attractive. Yeah.

I was like, it's gotta be that guy from boondock. He's saying fucking awful lot. I recognize that fuck anywhere. Go ahead. Sorry.

I recognize that fuck anywhere. Nice. Oh yeah. Yeah. Um, uh, Misty, you're going to hate me for this, but I can't help it.

It's funny. It's where that's what she said came from. Every night I kind of like fall asleep to episodes of The Office. Oh, I hate that show. I hate Steve Carell.

So funny, but I don't really get to watch the whole episode. I just kind of turn it on Netflix and fall asleep. It's good for them. I did watch 500 Days of Summer, which, oh my God, that movie is so cute. But, spoiler alert, the ending will make you want to die.

That's why I've avoided it so far. Because I like both parties involved, but I am not in the mood to watch that. Oh, my God. It is so funny, though. It's like the cutest, most adorable and funny movie ever.

Because Zooey Deschanel is just like. You just want to... choke her she's so. Cute really i don't think i've ever wanted to choke anybody because they've been so cute. I have it happens a lot wow we were trying to win her over last week to be on the show i don't know if that's gonna do you're just so. Yeah and i mean in addition to watching 500 days of summer i've been watching her music like the she and him music videos on youtube she's cute At first, in the Cotton commercial, I thought her voice was just weird.

But you get used to it. You're like, oh, I like this. She's one of the few people that's been able to cross over. And, yeah. And usually everybody has a problem with one or the other or both going on.

But on a related note, I was like, you know, I never really listened or watched any videos of Scarlett Johansson doing Tom Waits. Oh, my God. I wish I had. That was fucking awful. I don't know who was like, Scarlett, you're so beautiful.

You're such a talented actress. He must obviously be a fantastic singer. Of course. Whoever suggested that to her, they were fucking wrong. I mean, yeah, Tom Waits, not a lot of girls can sing Tom Waits songs.

Not a lot of guys can sing Tom Waits songs. Not a lot of people can do Tom Waits songs. Nobody other than Tom Waits can do Tom Waits songs. Far as I'm concerned. I mean, he's pretty, like, raspy and gruff and stuff like that, but, like.

Is she trying to do the raspy voice, too? Sort of. She kind of just has that anyway. It's just like. It's like...

The worst thing I've ever heard in my life. I would rather have my MP3 player filled up with that ice cream song truck, and that'd be the only thing I'd listen to for the rest of my life. But that song was awesome. It's catchy. Damn it.

I totally had her booked for another show. There goes our Scarlett Johansson gig. It was pretty terrible. But I've found myself quoting 500 Days of Summer already, which is a bad sign. Yeah, because that means everyone around you is going to be sick of it.

I know. They're having no clue what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. Or a little of both. I hate that movie I've never seen.

Yeah. I found myself saying to someone yesterday, Summer, Sid stabbed Nancy seven times with a kitchen knife. I know we fight, but I hardly think I'm Sid Vicious. And they were just like, what the fuck? What is wrong with you?

And I'm just like, oh. Many, many things. Have you ever seen the short they did? The, like, short film where they were doing, like, Sid and Nancy? I'm pretty sure it was those two.

I think it was. They were doing those roles, but they reversed the roles. So she was. That's what she said. She said, no, I'm Sid.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure they actually shot a short film, like, just one little scene out of... Basically out of the movie that it's... them doing this whole scene but they reverse the roles and they're fucking good like she is pretty good but actually i was more impressed with him being nancy it was fucking impressive one more reason i was like dude they just need to go ahead i mean they're already putting him in every damn movie now but i'm like you know what He's a good actor. Fuck it. I don't care.

I mean, that movie had just like He's an architect or he's going to be an architect or something like that. And then they go to Ikea and it's just like, oh. Architecture, Ikea. Who is this actor we were talking about? Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

I've been in love with him since I was like 11. Ah, okay. He's a kid. From Third Rock. Yeah, he'll forever be the kid from Third Rock and the Sun.

But now he's actually going to be, he's like the go-to guy for indie film in the last like five years. Yeah. He was in Brick. He was really funny in Brick. He's in, like, every indie movie they made.

Yeah, awesome. And Matthew Gray Goobler was in it. You know, like the. Your other obsession? Yeah, the skinny men that I, like, love in, like, pretend land, but in real life, I'm just like, ugh, get away from me.

I was just thinking, this doesn't match your... I know, it's weird. I realize this now, because every time I, like, I'm watching a movie, I'm like, aw, it's some, like, nerdy Don Knotts guy. And then in reality, I'm like, ugh. you have issues i think this just means i'm perpetually doomed to need two boyfriends. For the rest of my life i guess if you can set that up i mean there's certainly a market out there for that sort of.

Lifestyle but well they don't have to know about. Each other See, the thing is, sometimes they're okay with that. Sometimes they want to be involved. Ew, that's gross. I'm going to pass.

Oh, Lord. Anything else? No. All right. I guess we will take a break and be back with What's the Book?

What's the Book? Put money in your pocket and your top hat on your head And a hot meal on your table and a blanket on your bed Well today is great, this guy is tomorrow's tears We'll have to wait till yesterday's here Well I'm going to New York City, I've been cleaving on a train And if you want to stay behind and wait till I get back again. But today is a great disguise. Tomorrow is too young. We'll have to wait till yesterday is here.

If you. Want to go where the rainbow is. You'll have to say goodbye. All our dreams. Come true.

Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to. The lobby to get ourselves a treat. Machismo, the story of seven back Mexicans afraid of nothing but the shame of fear, fighting for their honor, faced with a wall of hate and death, struggling for their lives against the bigotry of a town and the woman who might betray them against the 40 savage Americans who vowed to destroy them.

Machismo. The guts to live like a man. Not since The Wild Bunch have you seen this kind of adventure. Don't miss it. Machismo.

Rated R. Choosing a family movie is tough. It seems like all Hollywood can do is make mindless drivel that rots kids' brains. Who wants to see a movie like. What my dad watched when he was a kid.

Those films are so boring and the special effects are horrible. The movies he grew up with are. Sometimes a big surprise. I at times feel uncomfortable watching movies I loved when I was younger with my own kids because I forgot how much cursing, sex, and violence they showed back then. All we want to do is watch a fun movie that we all like.

That's why we created Family Movie Night, a podcast where we review movies from an adult perspective. And from a kid's perspective. So you can find movies for your whole family to enjoy. We review new movies. Old childhood favorites.

Cult and foreign films. And Godzilla. So check out Family Movie Night on the web at fmnpodcast.com. Or find us on iTunes. Bye.

We are family. We are family. This is Roger Corman and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. Music Lay your head where my. Heart used to.

Be Hold the earth above me Lay down and breathe God, I swear that you love me Come closer, don't be shy Stand beneath the rainy sky. He's the one time for Halloween. I just, Busted out some old 80s shit. People were like, what the hell is wrong with that kid? Because even then, 80s wasn't really big because it was still like early 90s.

So everybody was like, eh. And then you're just wearing stuff that's out. Yeah, that's out. That's not cool. That's not retro yet.

I was wearing. Jams and I had a bandana tied around my knee and mismatched socks. You were so cool. I'm wearing my new Selena Gomez socks today. Oh, my Lord.

Police synchronicity. You can't go wrong with that. Where did you get those? Why don't I have a pair of them? I was mad.

They only had one. I didn't say I was going to put them on my feet. Wow. You set me up for that. I mean, shit.

I don't know if it could be repeated. I was too excited about my own sauce. I don't think it needs to be repeated. Yeah, I don't think you want anything to. Do with that.

You don't want the visuals. I didn't even finish the joke, but you don't need to. Alrighty. Alright, we are back with What's the Buzz? Tell me what's happening, what's the buzz?

Tell me what's happening, what's the buzz? Tell me what's happening, what's the buzz? That was us coming back all right yay what is the buzz what is happening. Uh well the main several as they they were listing them off and i saw a grand theme through several of them here so i decided to just lump them into one big story because we're gonna have the same complaint about all of them so okay yeah we'll start with the the first one here is um Back in January, there was a big auction to determine the future rights to the popular Terminator franchise. And we now know the first new movie to be covered in the new deal following Terminator Salvation is Hanover House has entered the venture to produce a 70 million 3D animated feature called Terminator 3000.

We've cartooned. Yeah, it's basically going to be a 3D CGI animated Terminator movie. It's going to be lame. Yeah. Well, and here's the part.

I mean, you could almost do a cool, once again, I don't like the idea of a CGI animated. You could do a cool animated Terminator movie, especially like set the whole thing in that future world. That would be awesome. Something they probably wouldn't bother to do a full length movie of anymore. You know, a normal theatrical run.

They could do a cool straight to DVD animated movie. But yeah, this one they're going to specifically try to keep it at a PG level. That totally, like, takes all... You know, it was built on an R-rated idea, so you. Can't...

Hey, this is about as good as Highlander, the cartoon. Yeah, you can't back it off and try to make it safe for kids again. Yeah! I don't know. That's just... and again, it's the, it's the CGI part that really creeps me out because you can do, okay, I'll give you, you could do the exoskeleton and it would look kind of cool in CGI, but everything else around it is going to look like crap.

So, yeah, well, it's probably because it's cheaper, easier. Oh, it is. And then you don't have to pay cartoonists. Yeah. It's a dying art.

Just like Christian belly yellow people. Yeah. You can just bring him in. He'll do that anyway. You're animating that all wrong.

And then he'll smack. Hmm. So, yeah, that will just go right into, let's see, Constantine Films, the production company responsible for the Resident Evil franchise and Paul W.S. Anderson's upcoming 3D adaptation of The Three Musketeers has announced plans to take over another classic franchise. Three Musketeers in 3D?

God, why didn't somebody tell me about this? I think we did, actually. Jesus. Who cares? Three Musketeers.

Oh, well, this is not much better, especially in this format. They will produce a 3d CGI animated adventure version of Tarzan. Okay. Tarzan doesn't work in CGI animation. I mean, the whole thing is a very like real world.

You need it to be green landscapes and vines and like actual physical rocks and trees. What the hell? It's all pointless if it's just animated. Yeah. Well, it's kind of like, you know, it's one of those things, it's like, what kid gives a fuck about Tarzan?

Nobody. Like, maybe in the, like, you know, maybe in the 30s and the 40s when you didn't have, like, really super, super, superheroes that were mutated by, you know, fucking x-rays and shit like that. You know, that would have been cool. You had, like, Doc Savage. You had Tarzan.

You had the Shadow. You had just, like, you know. People that fell into that kind of, you know, action star. They were action guys, but they weren't, like, you know, superhuman, you know, shit like that. It's like, what kid cares about Tarzan?

None of them. None. And if they do, they're probably crazy. But, really... Yeah, the same thing.

3D animated Tarzan? Yeah. Makes no sense. Makes absolutely no sense. We already had, you know, the biggest money-making company in the world backed a version of Tarzan, and even that one didn't go over.

I mean, Disney put out a Tarzan. Who cared about that? Nobody. Even Disney. I mean, Disney can bring in everybody, but that was one of their misses.

People were like, oh, well, never mind. It's Tarzan. Yeah, I mean, kids don't really seem to care about Tarzan. Not even Phil Collins could make people care about that movie. Oh, that's sad, because everyone loves Phil Collins.

So, yeah, I don't know. To me, I mean, once again, even the hand-drawn animated version didn't really come off right. So how is CGI going to save it? It's not. That's my complaint on all these.

It's going to be a big waste of money. And it's going to get even more... annoying right now. This one is the one that kills me because this one is just kind of crossing the line. In addition to the non-Looney Tunes characters this year, like Yogi Bear, that Warner Brothers is developing, they're big fun. Misty, you love that one.

Fucking hate that trailer. I watched it and it pissed me off. I could go on and on. Why are you going to get big name stars to do the voices if you're going to change your voices so much that you can't tell who the fuck they are? Who?

They got Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake. But you couldn't even tell it was them. You can't tell it's them. They've jacked their voices up to a point where you have no fucking... It could be a random guy down the street for all you know.

Can't tell it's them which is what makes no sense it's like if you're gonna mess it up so that you don't recognize their voice why not just pay a random actor to you know a voice. Actor like i said because you don't get the name you know dan ackroyd justin timberlake you get people go oh i'd like to see justin timberlake in a movie i want to see him as a bear you know you know what movie. I love justin timberlake in black snake moan. I love that movie. Me too.

Every time I go dancing, it depends on how much I've had to drink, but Wednesday, I saw Scott Burham. You remember him? I actually liked him. Once again, that makes no sense because he's kind of a pussy in that movie. That's what he gets called out for the whole thing.

Yeah, I know. That's what I like, though. But you don't. You just complain that men aren't manly men. I didn't say.

That I want to have sex with Justin Timberlake in that movie. I said I liked him in that movie. As far as an actor? As far as an actor. Okay, that's different.

Justin Timberlake disgusts me. He has a stupid nose. I don't like his face. I just don't like his face. I don't like his cornrows that he had.

I don't like his curly blonde hair. I could get past most of that if it wasn't for his nose. I don't like that when he sings, I can't tell if it's a girl or a guy singing. I'm okay with that. Sexy back, but bringing sexy back song.

I thought it was a girl forever. I do too. Whatever. He's a, he's a master beatboxer. That's all.

I swear. When we went and saw him in concert, that's all he did. He did like a 20 minute beatbox. It was phenomenal. It was scary.

I didn't go to this concert. It was scary. I didn't go to this concert. It was Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera. Win, win right there.

Come on. That makes more sense. But, um, No, anytime I'm dancing, and it depends on. What I'm dancing to, but I think at least two times I would be like, whoa, black stick moment. Wow.

And how does that specifically tie to him? It doesn't. And then you hit the floor. It doesn't. And then you threw up on somebody's shoes.

Okay, we've all seen these actions. No, I didn't throw up on anybody's shoes. I dropped my drink on someone's shoes. And then some girl tries to honk you. And threw up in a trash can, okay?

I remember that one. She really liked it. Again? Yeah, it always happens. She was, like, grabbing my butt, and I'm like.

I don't know what's going on. I will never try to hump you if that makes you feel more comfortable. Jesus. Why does every night out end up with you screaming, I don't know what's going on? Why is this person humping me?

Oh, my God. It does happen every time. I go out. Why don't go out? Yeah, I wouldn't leave the house if I were you.

Yeah. That's why you go out. Yeah. We all have different standards. What the hell were you even talking about?

I forgot. I don't know. It started with Yogi Bear. Okay, Yogi Bear. What else?

Did Yogi Bear hump you? Yes. Yes, he was. It was a trade-off for a picnic basket. Justin Timberlake, and then I said, you know, I really love Justin Timberlake.

Okay, we're going to end it back there. Back around. Back around. Backertize it. Backertize.

Back around. So, yeah, they're already working on, aside from the Yogi Bear, which we won't start again on, which I hadn't even heard, they're working on a Marvin the Martian one, which is wrong, because I really like Marvin, too. I heard the Speedy Gonzalez one. We've already bitched about that one. But those are their supporting characters.

Now they're saying Warner Brothers has announced plans for a movie starring their biggest star. Bugs bunny bugs bunny because we need another fucking bugs. Bunny why space jam why yeah i mean have we learned nothing from you know the last ones were space jam and back in action both of which are horrible and they weren't even like full-on cgi they were just bad animation they've moved into animating badly in the you know from the 80s to the 90s they just got kind of hacky about their animation. Best fucking idea they can come up with ah I don't know. I don't really think people care about.

And that's the other thing. I was like, you can't... Anything they've done that's a new version of the Looney Tunes is bad. You can't make it work anymore. When's the new Tasmanian Devil moving on?

Oh, good God. Fuck all that. You know they will, too. I can get my tattoo of the Tasmanian Devil right next to the number three. I'm going to get a toity bird on me.

I'm actually thinking about getting a Tasmanian devil tattoo just because it would be really funny. It's not funny. No, it wouldn't be funny. It's not funny. Not even in any...

I feel like I. Live a little too close to Kentucky for the irony to be realized and appreciated. It would not at all in any way, shape, or form be appreciated. Hey, big old man, that girl got a Tasmanian devil tattoo. I'm going to go hump her.

I work with a guy that has a Tasmanian devil tattoo. A really bad one. I work with a guy who has a wolf tattoo. Ooh, classy. Yeah, so I don't understand why they haven't learned their lesson, because everybody that made those cartoons so awesome is dead now.

I mean, they just face it. They are. The writers are all gone, the directors are all gone, Mel Blanc is gone. They're not going to be like they were when they were cartoons. They were edgy.

They were. They're cartoons. They were edgy. They dealt with current situations. Cross-dressing.

Yeah, they dealt with some shit that you didn't even want to really delve into. I mean, so much so that there are several cartoons that are completely banned now. They will not show them because they were that, not only on the edge, but sometimes crossing the line. Crossing the line. In the shit they don't need to be talking about.

Yeah, I mean, almost like Tom and Jerry on certain things. But, yeah, yeah. They ain't going to write about that crap nowadays. No. You know, it's just going to be cutesy, you know.

Homogenized bullshit. Yeah. Hey, what can we throw in here to try to, you know, tie it into pop culture and, you know, everybody will love it. And then all the kids will run around and just parrot it. They hear that shit.

Now you're thinking of yourself. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. It just seems like such a bad idea. So, yeah, let's move on.

Stop making bad CGI animation, which they're not, because half the trailers we just looked at earlier today were all bad CGI animation. So I don't know what to do with it. Not watching. All right, on to hooking up with old ladies. Betty White?

Director! Why won't Betty White do some nudity scenes? That's what I'm talking about. I like her. She's awesome and all, but ew.

I'm joking. How come I can't say, you know, why is Betty White humping me? No, that never happens. So director Richard Linklater, who did many good films back in the day, he did the Before Sunset and Dazed and Confused and some of really awesome stuff in the early days, but his biggest hit was probably 2003's School of Rock with Jack Black, which is one of the better roles of Jack Black's, by the way. But now, he's gone downhill since then, sadly.

The two of them are reuniting in a comedy called Burning, which is inspired by the true story of a Texas mortician who develops a friendship with a wealthy widow, played by not Betty White, but Shirley MacLaine. But the name of it's Bernie. Who he then kills and keeps her body in a freezer in an attempt to maintain the illusion that she is still alive. Yeah, it's nothing at all like Weekend at Bernie's. Why would you not change her name or change his name?

Whoever fucking is Bernie, why would you want that? Because, yeah, they're saying it's sort of like Harold and Maude meets Weekend at Bernie's. I'm like, well, if you're already ripping off Weekend at Bernie's, then don't put the name Bernie in there, let alone title it. You've got to throw that little negative homage in there. Yeah, because people are stupid and they don't get it unless you name it Bernie.

It it's bernie like weekend. At bernie's like a dead guy. I remember weekend at bernie's i'm not gonna. Well that's the thing i don't i mean people will call me out for that i'm sure but it's not a bad movie as a comedy there's a lot of good stuff in there if you take out the stupid dead guy jokes That's the least impressive thing in that movie. There's actually some decent comedy in there aside from that.

My mom loves that movie. What happened to the days when you could make fun of dead people? Now you can't even do it. They won't let you make fun of nothing anymore. We're too PC for making fun of dead people.

They make fun of everybody. Somebody will complain. Somebody will cry. Dead people will be up in arms. Yeah.

Dead people are going to get together. Protesting. Dead people's rights. Zombie approach. Yeah, that's different.

That's zombies. Yeah, you can't make fun of them either. There's plenty of movies about zombie rights. Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, that is true.

So, yeah. Would there be a PETA for dead people? People for the ethical treatment of zombies? Pets? I don't know.

Yeah, pets. No, I think that was a video game. A bad video game. Yeah, I don't know. So, yeah, coincidentally this week, Fox Searchlight also picked up the rights to a comedy pitch called Motherfucker.

Sweet. Actually, that kind of sounds funny. I think I saw something about that. It's about a man who falls in love with his girlfriend's mother, who has a similar May-December chemistry to Bernie, although she is even older than the lady in Motherfucker and possibly doesn't end up in the guy's freezer. We'll see.

I don't know. I don't know. I will be impressed if it makes it all the way to being on the poster as Motherfuck. Now, granted, they're putting three stars in there, but still, the society we live in, I will be amazed if it makes it. They're having a shit fit over shit my dad said.

I know. How are they going to let Motherfucker slide through? That's a curse? Word. I can tell it's a curse word.

They're going to lose their mind. Fuck you. God. Shit. Fucking people.

Nicely put. I think that makes our point. What the hell? You're going to fucking sit there and complain about it. And people are sitting there going, my kid might know it's a curse word.

You know what? I bet your little Johnny's heard fuck, shit, damn, ass, and all that other shit in fucking third grade. I did. No matter how many No matter how much my parents sat there and turned the TV off and made me only watch PG movies, I still snuck out over to other friends' houses and watched R-rated movies and fucking porn on Showtime and shit like that. You can't hide it from your kids.

You can't. The more you hide it, the more they're going to want it. Exactly. And it doesn't matter. You can shelter them all you want up until they go to school.

And when they go to school, they're going to hear everything. I got in trouble in fourth grade for telling some kid to fuck off. Fourth grade. You're not going to fucking hide it from them. By that point, I remember every kid was just cursing.

Everything was normal the way that it is now, sadly. I was probably talking this way now. Did your mom wash. Your mouth out with soap? No, but I did call my dad a bastard one time.

That got me in a lot of trouble. I told you not to use the Lifebuoy. Yeah, not the Lifebuoy. No, I never got the soap. Is that why you're so blind now?

No, that was from looking at all them naked women. That's what my dad told me. You look at naked women, boy, you'll make you blind. I was like, damn, I must have looked at a lot of them because I sure as hell. Can't fucking see.

It's the price you pay. No, seriously, have you seen his fucking glasses? Actually, like, They're BCDs. They're fucking fish balls. They're like negative 12 and negative 13.

I don't know. I could start forest fires with them fuckers. I could see into the future. All that shit. I can deflect bullets on everything.

Why don't I wear them? Because they fucking weigh my face down. I don't want to wear them. Do they not make contacts that are. No, I've got contact lenses in, but I'm like on probably the last couple of powers of contact lenses I can wear, which is why I've been wearing the same damn lenses for the past couple of years.

My eye doctor's like, well, you only got a couple more to go, and then you're not going to be wearing contacts. I'm like, dude, just give me the same damn contact lenses. I don't care if I can't see. At least I can see several things. You know.

See basic shapes. I can make out basic shapes. Oh, it's a triangle. You know, shit like that, but... No, really.

I mean, come on. This is why he likes me. He can't actually see me. Oh, shut up. I can tell you.

I put my glasses on at night. Hopefully at this point you'll take over the driving, Missy. That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said. No, I can't wear my glasses to work because you get hot and sweaty and the fuckers slide right off your nose. I mean, it's like, really, it's like having a five-pound barbell on your neck.

Except for it's made out of glass, and it slides off. And they're the featherlight lenses. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. The doctor's like, oh, well, we'll get you the new featherlight lenses, and we'll round the corners off so they don't cut your eyes.

Dude, these things fucking weigh a ton. They do, and they're like an inch thick. And these are the featherlights? Come on, really? Give me a break.

Yeah. Like, it's not my fault you have to wear magnifying glass. Yeah, we can send probes to fucking Mars, but you can't give me some glasses that aren't, you know, three inches thick? No, we have not gotten to that point. Did you not get any other technology from the Nazis or Area 51 or anything like that that's like lightweight plastic that I can actually see through?

No. Invisible lead. Yeah, something, something. God, give me something, please. Wow, that was another wild off-tangent.

We specialize in tangents. Go for it, man. The tangent. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I went from cussing about...

Fucking shit, but whatever. Anyways, yeah. No, my point is, if you don't want your kids to watch this stuff, and if you're offended by it, then turn the TV off. Keep them locked in the basement. Keep them locked in the basement.

Keep them locked in the basement, or turn the damn TV off. It's got an on and off button. Move to Amish country. I feel like if you want to shelter your kids, go live in a hole in the forest. Is that what the Amish do?

Live in holes? They're woodchucks? Magical Amish. They grant you three witches if you kiss them. I was like, Amish or hobbits?

Wait a minute. Those two separate ideas. Go join the Amish or. Or join the Shire. I caught an Amish once and all he gave me was furniture.

The fucking lame ass would. Dude, I'm the worst leprechaun ever. You know what? If I caught an Amish person that gave me like Amish fudge, it'd be really awesome. Dude, that would be awesome.

I love Amish fudge. There's a farmer's market that happens every day on Saturday by my house. They have bread and fudge and oh my God. Okay, whatever. Do not accept fudge from strangers.

I'm sorry. There should be a rule there. Unless he's got a magical beard and a corncob pipe and a little straw hat. I trust him. I totally trust him.

Yeah. What are they going to do? That's wrong. They're Amish. They're cool as shit.

Amish. Yeah, Misty's right. They don't have weapons. If they fuck you over, they know they're in deep shit. Amish or not, I don't trust them.

They can't run that fast. They have horses. They got a car. They hide their kids' eyes every time we walk around. Oh my God, don't look at them.

Oh my god, don't make eye contact. The damn heathens. What's the world coming to? I don't want people to shield their children's eyes when I walk by. That's my only goal in life.

They do that. They do. I've never noticed. And that girl, she's got a fish hook in her. I don't pay that much attention to what other people do.

I do and I laugh. Okay, anyways. Where the fuck were we? Anyways. Alex Cross is a police detective and psychologist character who has appeared in many novels by author James Patterson.

Fans best know him as a character played by Morgan Freeman in Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider. Oh, yeah. They're going to continue on with him, but Freeman is now a little older than the character. He's 73, which I didn't realize he was fucking 73. I didn't sleep with his granddaughter.

Well, that's okay. Sleeping with his granddaughter? Yeah. That's okay. That's hot.

What? I'm confused. It's a separate daughter. So, yeah, there are plans for the new version, and the new Alex Cross. Woody Allen shit.

Yeah, exactly. What's he in the Woody Allen Club? That's fine, isn't it? I really don't think. It's as gross for Woody Allen, because he was never connected to that girl.

Nah, but he kind of was. Like, I don't know. It's weird. I won't even go into it. He was around her while she was growing up.

That kind of makes you family. It's creepy, so. Either way. So, yeah, the actor that has now been chosen is Idris Elba, who is best known for playing Stringer Bell in The Wire, which is actually, from what I hear, pretty awesome. I haven't had that channel, and I haven't had time to devote to the seasons and seasons of The Wire, but supposedly it's amazing.

Me neither. And kind of had some controversy when he was cast as the Norse god Heimdall in this next year's Thor. Why is that? I don't know, because people like to get pissy about everything. Anytime, especially if you cast a black guy in any role.

In a Norse role? Yeah, I can see how that could kind of make some people get upset. But at the same time, what world do we live in? We kind of know you're going to have to cast whoever. We know we have to fill the...

We've got to have a black guy, we've got to have this guy. Yeah, but still, even still, that's... I'm not saying it makes sense. Yeah, not being, you know... it makes sense to me why people, why you wouldn't cast him in it. Yes.

I mean, that's like having a black Nazi. I mean, come on, really? What? They didn't have those? Yeah.

I mean, what? Huh? You know, that one doesn't, but I mean, people lost their damn mind when they suggested a black Peter Parker for this next movie. And I'm like, well, now that really shouldn't matter. Yeah.

Yeah. It's Peter Parker. It's not like something, you know, it's not something that's tied to a specific culture or religion. I mean, if that's the point, how come we don't have white African gods? I mean, they'd throw a fit over that, you know?

I mean, come on. Probably would. I can understand where they're coming from, you know, kind of both ways, but still, it makes more sense. I understand why. Yeah, it's one of those, it. doesn't make sense to me but at the same time was i surprised when i heard it no no i was like that's the way they cast movies we know that you.

Said it's gotten so pc now that we've got it well you gotta be. Fair to everybody everybody gets a. Trophy yeah you gotta have something for everybody we'll have to have a few women up there we'll have to have a black guy maybe there'll be an asian norse god who knows but yeah. But i mean computer nerd why do they care you know i mean really i don't Why would they care? Is it to get more people to go see that movie?

Probably. I mean, I'm sure that's their casting reason is because then, you know, a whole bunch of white people in Thor isn't going to bring in the black audience. So we've got to find some way. Who can we cast? But again, wouldn't you cast him like in the human side?

Why would you cast him as a Norse god? But why would you care? Why would black people care about Thor? Thor's hot. No, either way.

No, I'm just saying, why would they care about Thor? Black people do like hot Thor. I'm serious, dude. Chris Hemsworth? They were showing him on TV the other day.

I can say I don't think they went the wrong direction. He does definitely look like, he looks the part. He also looks like he probably will be okay as a leading man, so... From that angle, they didn't go wrong. Yeah, nobody cared about the Asian people.

How come they didn't put an Asian person in Valhalla? What the hell is up with that shit? Because they don't have computers up there. Asians are good for it. They're not Kung Fu.

They're not bitching loud enough, I guess. But either way, I'll still go see Thor. I like Thor. Me too. So yeah, either way.

This guy is actually... And once I saw pictures of him, and we were just looking at him, I don't think that's a bad way to go. To me, I can see him as sort of the younger Morgan Freeman. I think he's kind of got the look, and from what I've seen... is a pretty damn good actor and could almost pull off, you know, that same, I mean, cause that's, that's kind of big shoes to fill. Morgan Freeman's a hell of an actor.

So you couldn't just throw Will Smith in there and be like, okay, pretend like you're Morgan Freeman now. Cause he's going to be Will Smith. And, you know, I think this guy could kind of take on the role and be the character. Not, you know, if you cast any other, or one of the women, Oh, God help us. I think it said something about him being a really serious British theater actor.

He is, yeah. Well, see, that's cool. It's funny that he's on the wire, because, yeah, he's undercover, and he's got to talk street and everything, but when you see him in the real world, he has a British accent, and nobody recognizes him all of a sudden. They're just like, wait, wait, no, that's not you. Mm-hmm.

You're a street guy. You're from the streets. From the streets. With a Z. Or the next movie will be based on Patterson's novel Cross, which appears to be a prequel of sorts, which makes sense since he's going to be massively younger, telling the story of a younger Alex Cross as the rising star in the Washington, D.C. police department where an unknown shooter has gunned down his wife Maria in front of him, and I'm assuming that's probably going to piss him off, so... maybe we'll have a scene with him on his knees with his arms thrown to the sky with.

That what if he's okay with that he's like damn there's. Probably plenty of people i got out. Of this no you know i didn't have prenups well that goes on but usually those guys are paying the gunman before they're like here please take. Care of her that's called a business deal. Yeah.

Nice. Really nice. Oh, I forgot to talk about during my geek week that I've been reading The NeverEnding Story. And I figured out why they call it The NeverEnding Story. Because it feels like it's never going to fucking end.

Hand to God. Hand to God. Oh, so you're loving the book. It was all right until he got there, to which it's not really Fantasia anymore. It's Fantastic.

Fantastic. Fantastica? Fantastica. Sounds like a gay club. It does.

I think I've been there. Maybe that would make it more awesome. I'm down. Let's go. Hey, somebody will be humping you any minute.

Gay or not, they'll still be humping you. It's aggravating. I'm a hump magnet. I'll probably talk about it. I'll finish it by.

Next week and I'll talk more about it. Alright, what else? Was there more, Buzz? Was there more happening? There is more.

Do we want to hear about the John Belushi? Sure. Oh, they're making a John Belushi movie. And it might be that with Zach Gill fucking. That's the thing.

They're making. Yeah, they already did one John Belushi movie, so it's funny that... And I forgot that was Michael Chiklis. He was like such a nobody when they made that. I hadn't...

It had been so long, I forgot that was him. But yeah, now they're... But that was totally... Like, that was sort of... a hard look at his life, and it was unauthorized. So now they've actually got his widow on board.

She's written a biography about John, and now she's coming back and doing, like, the official version that's been okayed by his estate and whatnot. So, yeah, they're talking about who they're going to cast. So, yeah, they are saying Zach Galifianakis. Okay, who is he, and what's he been in? He has a beard.

Who's the guy in Hangover? I was going to say, stuff you've seen, probably nothing. Because it's all pretty... I mean, he's been in stuff for years, but it's not... The big starring...

Yeah, now he's all of a sudden huge, but I don't think. I don't think. You've seen it. I'm hoping Star Wars 2, they're going to get to play a young Dan Aykroyd during whatever Blues Brother reference they're going to make. There you go.

If it's Shia LaBeouf, I'm going to fucking kill somebody. You know it will be. Or Zach. Oh, actually, Zach Efron. He's gotten a little bit prettier.

I can tolerate him now. I don't know if he matches. Yeah, they've got to find somebody that kind of matches Dan Aykroyd. He was not pretty. He wasn't unattractive back in the day.

I know you were down with him, but he wasn't like Zach, pretty boy kind of looks. Dan Aykroyd used to be hot. But he wasn't a pretty boy. I mean, even back in the day, he was just a normal guy, really. And Blues Brothers, he was hot.

First Ghostbusters. Kind of pushing it. Pushing it. I don't know. But yeah, Zach, they're saying is the big contender now because he's such a name, but he's also like 40.

So they're going to be doing the earlier days. So they're saying they don't know if he's going to be able to pull off the young version. Look at that one Jonas guy. That's his name. Jonah Hill?

Jonah Hill, yeah. That's what everybody, that's what they're saying. And that doesn't surprise me, actually. I can kind of see that because he's, again, he's kind of a go-to. Or Josh before he got skinny.

Yeah, Josh? Well, I mean, they did. Did you ever see when they did the Blues Brothers? Oh, yeah. Because they kind of fit, so they did a whole little Blues Brothers thing on the episode, but now he's gotten skinny, so he's ruined it.

Good going. Get fat again. People think you're funny. I think Jonah Hill's making up for that. Yeah, that's what happens.

He's like putting on weight. So I don't know, they might... Steve Urkel, he. Got muscular and then nobody thought he was funny anymore. Joe Piscopo disease.

Was he ever funny? No, not really. My grandparents thought he was fucking hilarious. I love Steve Urkel. So I can.

But in real life? You'd hate that bastard. Exactly. Yeah. What is wrong with me?

Many, many things. Once again, we return to the therapy session. God. I need help. So, yeah, I can see.

Realizing you have a problem. I know. I can see him going with one of the two, again, go-to characters now. It would be either Jonah Hill or Seth Rogen, who's lost a little of the weight. But, again, if you go back early enough, John wasn't that heavy.

It was only later that he started to be getting heavy. So, I don't know. I can see him going either of those. Nice. That's what it will come to.

I do like that they threw Ethan Suplee in there. He's getting way too old, too, but that would have been an interesting way to go. Yeah. All right, let's see. We can round out the buzz here with Reese, because back in the day, it was all.

About some Reese. I don't know. Her kid had an ugly butt. Yeah, well. What?

Sadly, I know what you're talking about, because I've heard you go off on this tangent before. I know what you're talking about. Go ahead. I don't know. Without the actual visual, it doesn't have the same effect.

Well, Google image search Reese Witherspoon kid's butt. I don't know. How would you get about it? I don't know. I don't want to go to jail.

Yeah, why don't you guys all do that at home? I'm not going to do that myself. It's like from Vanity Fair, wasn't it? Yeah, it was everywhere. And it was like a small child, and.

It just was like cottage cheese, and I'm not really sure what the hell was going on, and it was just, yeah, not good. Wasn't it her and Ryan, and they were like holding the kid, and you saw his ass. I don't know. It was like his butt was facing the camera, and I don't know. It was one of those, yeah.

Ryan Felipe used to be attractive, and not a jackass. He was cool back in the day. Yeah. That was my patronizing act. Yeah, doofus.

It confused me for your gay laugh for a second. No, that wasn't the gay laugh. All right, Reese Witherspoon. All right, so we're starting with Walk the Line, starring Reese and Joaquin, and was arguably as much a biopic about June Carter Cash as it was about Johnny, really, when you stop and think about it, and possibly that's why she won the Oscar for that role. Maybe you didn't.

Yes, he didn't because he's crazy. I like him, though. But he's crazy. I wonder how his rap career is going. Well, he has a cleft palate.

Yeah. Still. He's got enough money to get that shit fixed. No. They can never really fully.

Yeah, he can never fully. It's always kind of noticeable. He's going to get a face transplant. I don't know. It doesn't bother me.

Oh, my God. Take the facelift. God, what a movie. That was cinematic genius. Oh, what are you talking about?

It was pure gold from the butts of Hollywood. What are you, nuts? Face off. Who would have thought the two greatest actors in the world would get together in a movie about ripping their faces off? You're on a roll today, sir.

Fucking awesome. You said pure gold from the butts of Hollywood. That's getting close. On Facebook. Yes, it is.

Oh, shit. I saw that movie in the theater. It was awesome. Didn't John Woo direct that? Yes, he did.

It had lots of John Woo doves flying around and two pistols at the same time. People will not let him live that one down. Oh, my God. John Woo, I'm sorry. They mistranslated things to you.

That's why you didn't understand. Who's going to be in this movie? Yeah, yeah. Great American actors, John Woo. The biggest America has.

Oh, okay. Sounds good to me. They kind of were at the time, but it doesn't save things. So. I hate Nick Cade.

Anybody who knows me. Anybody who's my friend on Facebook knows that I hate Nick Cade. And got involved in your bitch fest. I did, dude. Fuck Nick Cade.

Stupid ass. Oh, Lord. So now, Reese. Back to Reese. So now Reese Witherspoon has her eye on playing another singer who rose to fame in the 40s, Peggy Lee.

Oh, I love Peggy Lee. Peggy Lee's pretty, I was listening to her earlier. Do people really care about Peggy Lee? No, but does Hollywood really care what people like? Three of us here know who Peggy.

But we're kind of weirdos, so. We know who Peggy Lee is. But Jay hates Reese Witherspoon. She has a troll face. God, I can't stand it.

I liked her back in the day. I've questioned her projects more than anything else as the years. Have gone on. You want to get shot a whole bunch of times? Yeah, I miss that.

Dude, I thought she was beautiful on freeway, but then after that I was just like, I don't know why. See, I give her shit sometimes about not liking people because of their face, but then I realize I'm the exact same way. I'm just not as vocal about it. I keep it in my head. I keep it in my head.

I'm like, I want to take a brick to that fucking person's head. But yet if I say it out loud, I have anger management issues. Well, you do. I keep it in my head. I think we all do, actually.

That's our breakthrough this week. We all have anger management issues, and Marlena likes people to hump her. That's what we take from this. I don't like it. It just happens, okay?

Leave me alone. I got called out because I yelled at the guy from that one show, that Ghost Hunter show. I was yelling at him on the TV. Did he hear you? No.

Oh, okay. But Jamie watched it. I didn't make you watch it. It was like two seconds of the channel. He was chained to a wall.

I was hoping a ghost would eat him or some shit. That would have been awesome. Yeah. But you know it wasn't going to happen. Well, next time you're at a convention, then you can yell at him, and he will actually hear you.

I should have. I should have beat the hell out of him. I should have punched him in the neck when I had the chance. You can take him. You know what?

I'm going to walk away. You can take him. What's his name again? I hate that guy. I don't know.

Stupid hair? That's how you refer to him. You know what show I do like? A Haunting. I love that show.

Never seen it. Amazing. Oh, wow. We're on Peggy Lee. Peggy Lee.

So, Peggy Lee. Peggy Lee was a jazz singer who rose from obscurity from her small town in North Dakota to have a string of hits in the 40s, including Fever, which now everybody in the free world has covered, Big Spender, Ma Na Na, and Golden Earrings. I love San Susi. That's one of my favorite songs. Which one?

San Susi. How's it go? San Susi. Oh, San Susi. Don't even sing.

No. I was just seeing if she'd go for it no it's a tried to tell me I was evil tried to trample on my soul never heard that song tried to make me. Think that they were righteous but the I don't know what. She says we'll find out because we'll just go out with that song alright so yeah she actually appeared in movies at the time and did some voice work on Lady and the Tramp which is awesome in it's own right so the Disney one yeah She provided some of the voices in Disney's Lady and the Tramp. Oh, cool.

Maybe she was a Siamese cat. Back when Disney films were cool. Mm-hmm. So, yeah. Peggy Lee actually continued performing well into the 90s, sometimes in a wheelchair.

So I don't know if they're going to carry it all the way to. That's fucking dedication right there. That's a hardcore singer right there. You wheel yourself out on stage. Shit.

You know, that's... That's hardcore. And, you know, you got to give it to the fans who still keep coming out, even in a wheelchair. You don't need to stand to sing. Fuck it.

Let's go. So she eventually, in 2002, died from complications of diabetes and a heart attack. So I don't know if they're going to follow up with that. So Reese is reportedly the driving force behind this biopic and will secure the rights with Fox. She's shooting for another Oscar?

Is that what it is? I guess, but this kind of worried me because they're attaching to write it is Nora Ephron, who does kind of lightweight. She's like Julie and Julia kind of stuff, which is not really hard-hitting biopic material. So who knows? Maybe she'll do it differently this time, but we'll have to see.

Is that it? We will at least throw in one of the interviews I recently did. And at least you guys can, you were there to witness the person, because I have to go into my basic observation. This week's interview is with William Ragsdale. God damn, he looked good.

As we walked past the table that first time, I was like, holy shit, he hasn't aged. It's kind of frightening. Yeah, I mean, like not, I mean, usually I'll call these people, and I don't even call them out, because you get old. That's what happens. I mean, shit, you see these people, and it's been, 20 years since they've been in the movie you liked.

So, I mean, they're going to look older. Like Rusty. I'm kind of used to that. Yeah, I'm used to seeing them and it's just, it's different, but it's okay. That's cool.

That's life. That's how shit goes. I don't really even call them out for that. What I'll call William out for is for not aging. holy shit like how is that possible deal with the devil i think it might be because i think he looks equally as young as he did he might be. A dracula i saw death becomes her i know how that shit happens.

Well it might i mean he was he was in fright nights i mean maybe by the end of that he actually got bit and now he's a dracula he is. We didn't see him in the sun so we didn't see him sparkle all i can think of is. Rackham rack willie what. Racula some crackheads. That there's this stupid thing on youtube they would give him vodka and like feed him and make him say crazy shit his name is rackham rack willie he died recently very sad oh but he was i'm not even gonna say it just just go to youtube and look count racula or something it's very short it only takes a second but it's funny this.

Is why they'll let So, yeah, we luckily ran into William there, and he was actually very cool and sat down to do an interview with us. So let's see what William has to say about his career. And, of course, I did have to ask him about the mannequin sequel. Oh, wow. I could not.

We were here with William Rexdale. Was there a specific event that got you into performing early on? Yes. How long do you have, son? All right.

I grew up in a small town in Arkansas, and one of the things that they had there that not all small towns have was a community theater that the community would put on plays and all that stuff. And I was very fortunate because it was really well-supported and creative, and so that's what sort of got me into acting when I was 10 or 11. How did it end up going towards film down the line? Well, I sort of looked into making a living as an actor and film and TV is sort of where you have to do it. So I went to school in California for an acting school and met some agents and producers and people through that and then just ended up getting into it.

I was looking back, I'd kind of forgotten about the Mannequin movie. Is it one that you, did you know what you were getting into? I mean, being a sequel, did you know what you were getting involved in? I had a rough idea of it yeah I had you know I knew what the basic story it was sort of the same thing well now let's redo this again or do it again you know but yeah with even less sort of room to vary but yeah whatever it was fun because I studied Shakespeare and stuff in acting school so it was sort of a chance to do like a little costume drama only for a portion of the film but I enjoyed that It. Was Christy Swanson.

That was kind of early in her career. Very early. She was great. She was great. She's just a complete natural actor and just gorgeous on screen.

She's so likable. Yeah. Looking back at some of her stuff, it's hard not to like her. Yeah, yeah. She was great in Buffy, too.

She was just wonderful. And never gets any credit for it. No, no. Now the show is a blipstick. Yeah.

Yeah. When you went on to Herman's Head, I guess they pitched the sort of gimmick of the show early on. What did you think of that, the way that they had it set up as a project? I liked it. I thought it was really original, and the way they shot it was original.

We actually shot both... the stuff that went on in the office and the stuff inside the head at the same time. So it was actually two sets going at the same time, which had its challenges, but worked really well for the audience. And I enjoyed it. I think it was one of those, I mean, you guys had such good characters, really. It almost developed its way out of that set piece.

It almost didn't need to have that. As time went on, you guys, the characters within the office were so well-developed, it seemed like. Yeah, I think that it was always, the challenge was always to figure out what to show, who to show, and for how long, and. All of that. But yeah, it was good.

Yeah, especially at Fox at that time, there was a lot of hit and miss stuff. And you guys had a good group of writers, I think. Yeah, great writers. They all went on to Seinfeld and a number of good shows. Did you have any new projects you wanted to tell people about?

I'm working on a show now on FX called Justified, which is... It takes place in Kentucky, and it's a really good show, and it's been well-received, and we got picked up for a second season, so hopefully we'll be back for more. Very cool. Thank you for talking to us. He was pretty up close, as he was from far away.

That's the thing. You just saw him that first day. The next day, I was actually sitting there like, a foot away from him and I'm like damn he still looks like even this close and and it doesn't look like you know bad surgery close he just looks like he hasn't aged he's got like prince disease or something where you look good it's not due to surgery you just didn't fucking age Well, good for him. More power to him, because that's awesome. And he's actually co-starring, as he said, co-starring the FX drama Justified.

So I didn't realize. I've been trying to get around to watching that. It stars Timothy Oliphant, who we will not say is that other guy this week, because Roger's not here. Roger gets confused about Timothy Oliphant. I like Timothy Oliphant.

So yeah, supposedly that's a pretty damn good show, and William is on there every week, so check it out. And we will return to the other half of that because immediately after that, I turned around and was sitting equally as close to Amanda Burst. Marcy Darcy. I also had a special reaction to her. What I said was that it was because I got to talk to Roger Corman, as we all know, but I was like, is it kind of sad that I was almost as excited to talk to Marcy Darcy?

She was awesome. So we'll get to that one in a couple weeks here, so. Otherwise, I guess that will wrap up part one here. Which song are we going out on, Marlena? San Susi.

All right. So, we will invite you. Just have Marlena sing it out. If I knew the whole thing, I would. Just Google the lyrics.

Yeah. Okay. You don't have to, really. It's a really good song. Otherwise, we will invite you to come back and join us for this week's Sofa Theater feature, Fright.

Yay. Come back and join us. But gold. My stupid phone won't let me post Facebook updates unless there's a picture attached. It's stupid.

Reese Witherspoon's baby's butt. San Susi San Susi They got no room here for someone like me. Oh, the mountain starts to giggle when the springtime waters. Wiggle down the mountainside. I can hear the fishes swishing just as loud as I am wishing when I hit the tide.

Go, go, go, go. Go, go, go, go. I see, see, I see, see, see. They got no room here for someone. Like me Go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go Tried to tell me I was evil.

Tried to trample on my soul Tried to make me think that they were righteous But the. Cloth of a lie. Was whole Go home, go, go Go home. Go, go San Sisi San Sisi. They got no room here for someone like me.

Ah, the earth, it starts its walking cause it knows that love is walking and it ain't no dream. No, you ain't no dream. Suns who see, you ain't no dream. Go, go, go, go. Go, go, go.

Fill your sails with all the laughing and talking that used to be. Go, go, go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go.

Go, go, go. But we warn you, he'll bear watching. Bellamy's gangsters are all set for a hijacking job. Now they're into it. But will they escape?

See for yourself in The Fatal Spark, next week's shuddering chapter of The Green Archer. This show is a production. Of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro. with opening music performed by the Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.