Attack of the Killer Soundtrack: Holiday Edition

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It's time for Movie Meltdown's Attack of the Killers soundtrack. The live transmission has begun. And we're into the final hour of hell. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown's Attack of the Killers soundtrack. I'm Brian, your Yuletide host.

And with that I will say happy holidays, or as we say on this show... Happy Life Day. Now, I always enjoy these music-themed episodes, but recently we had so much fun with the Halloween-themed music episode that I thought this was a good chance to put together the end-of-the-year holidays, or Christmas, or whatever. That's why I'm going with Life Day. I don't care about any of this nonsense.

But anyway, a holiday-themed group of songs, specifically with movie tie-ins, or at least our holiday favorites from years past. A few other projects might creep in there as we go along. But I thought we would start off with a traditional song, but from a different place. I have a very different take on Christmas, specifically Christmas movies. You know, I guess Christmas songs are sort of, you know, they just sort of empower you at that time of year.

Whether you like it or not, you may fight it. But if so, this may be the wrong episode for you. But in general, you're sort of overwhelmed with Christmas songs. songs, but I always tie them to movies. No surprise there. But it's not always the movies that everybody else does.

It's not necessarily the traditional ones. I'm usually more of the action route. And oddly enough with my Christmas themed. So with this one I thought we would open the show the way one of my favorite holiday themed movies opens. That would be Lethal Weapon.

And as you watch the credits and sort of easier way into the plot of this Richard Donner classic, you start off with none other than Jingle Bell Rock, performed by Bobby Helms. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring. Snowing and blowing up. Bushels of fun.

Now the jingle hop has begun. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle bells timing, jingle bell time. Dancing and prancing in jingle bell square. In the frost.

Jingle bell time is a swell time. To go gliding in the one horse sleigh. Giddy up, jingle horse, pick up your feet. Jingle up around the clock. Mix and a-mingle in the jingling feet.

That's the Jingle Bell Rock. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle bell chime. In jingle bell time Dancing and prancing in jingle bell square In the frosty air. What a bright time, it's the right time To rock the night away Jingle bell time is a swell time To go glidin' in the one-horse sleigh Giddy-up, jingle horse, pick up your feet Jingle around the clock Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet That's the jingle bell, that's the jingle bell That's the jingle.

Bell rock. Let's do what one shepherd said to the other shepherd. What? Let's get the. Flock out of here.

Ah, Riggs. He had so much promise back then. The depths that he has fallen these days. Anyway, speaking of going dark, my next entry, this is another one that I initially thought of when I came up with this. I was just going with some of my favorite Christmas movies and my favorite ways that they tie in music and sometimes taking... a holiday classic or a very traditional holiday song and working into a very untraditional film or scene.

One of my favorites is the way that they use the traditional Christmas carol idea in Black Christmas. Yes, this is the original Black Christmas. And yeah, it's just so well shot. Again, You can go back. We've done an entire episode on Black Christmas.

And you'll hear me go on about how underrated Bob Clark is as the director. But the way that he uses this scene where the carolers come to the door and she goes to watch them and sort of enjoy this classic holiday setting. And in the next room, someone's being stabbed to death with a big crystal unicorn. It just does this great job of sort of cross-cutting with shots of the, by the way, creepy looking kids. these weird 70s kids standing out there singing, and you get these big close-ups of their faces as they're singing, and you get these shots of the kids, and then it will cut over immediately to shots of the stabbing or blood dripping off of the crystal unicorn. It's just so well put together, and it gives you this very uneasy feeling, a lot of which I think stems from this very traditional song.

So this is just going to be a little snippet of it here. I just wanted to throw some in because it is one of my favorite uses of music in a holiday-themed movie and a creepy one at that. So this is a few snippets of it together because this is actually from the movie, so you'll get nice sounds of the stabbing and the weird creepy guy. So it's a good little mixture of what you get in the film itself. But the song is, O Come All Ye Faithful from St.

Simon's Choir is actually, I guess, those creepy little kids that were out there. So let's hear a little of that. O come and behold him. Born the King of Angels. O come, let us adore him.

O come, let us adore him. O come, let. Us adore him. Christ the Lord. Sing, choirs of angels.

Shh! Shh! Yea, Lord, we praise thee. Agnes. Agnes, it's me, Billy.

It's all right, Agnes. It's all right. Shh. Pretty Agnes. Lord of the.

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Cleaner, fresher, smoother. That's why you can't go wrong if you remember your friends with these colorful Christmas cartons of Lucky Strike. Be happy, go lucky, for Christmas. Gifts this year. Alright, well now I've done a few picks of my own, but again, what I said I liked so much about the Halloween episode we did was I... threw it out there to the group.

I got some of our usual crew together and just had them pick some songs. And if you listen to that episode, it is quite a mixture of music. And I thought, well, what if we did that with Christmas and see what weird conglomeration of music they come up with? So this is just a mixture of a couple of times lately when I've sat down with people, the first of which we're going to go with one that is a recent pick that Bo made. And we'll hear his take, kind of similar to what I was just saying about taking a classic song and working it into a horrific film.

I would say it's the Do You Hear What I Hear from Gremlins. Because that's such a creepy use of a Christmas song, and that was something where my parents rented it for us when we were young, so I'm seeing it at like age five. And just all that, I mean, that was, I mean, that's one of those things that sort of push you know gave her one to push to move to like pg-13 because you know that was pg but she's blowing the one up in the microwave she's stabbing the other with the butcher knife and it's going into um the blender and they're still like attacking her and it's just it's such a perfectly used song i love it now how it's used but just i don't know just something about like christmas music is just kind of odd and off-putting a lot of it when you get right down to it Do you.

Hear what I hear? Do you hear what I hear? Said the night wind to the little lamb. Do you see what I see? Do you see what I see?

Way up in the sky, little lamb. Do you see what I see? A star, a star, dancing in the night. With a tail as big as. A kite With a tail as big as a kite Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy.

Do you hear what I hear? Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy Do you hear what I hear? A song, a song, high above. The tree With a voice as big as the sea with a voice as big as the sea. Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king do.

You know what i know in your palace warm mighty king do. You know what i. A child, a child shivers in the cold Let us bring him silver and gold Let us bring him silver. And gold. Said the king to the people everywhere Listen to what I say Pray for peace, people everywhere.

Listen to what I say The child, the child sleeping in the night He will bring us goodness and light He will. Bring us goodness. I'm speaking of that scene in gremlins. We just showed that to my kids recently, the gremlins. And, um, They didn't find the gremlins as cute, you know, mogwai, the unaltered ones as.

Cute as I thought they would. But that's beside the point. I was kind of shocked to see, I think, how almost eager the mother is to kill the gremlins. She's ready for it. Oh, yeah.

She hears them and she's got the knife out and she's like, it's on. I'm going to kill these guys. And there's no hesitation. There's almost no fear in her. She's just ready like a killing machine immediately.

She's pretty badass for a mom lady. She's pretty hardcore. I remembered her being so much more maybe scared or terrified by them and then she reacts and then she overcomes and kills them. No, it's right away she knows what's happening and she just flat out kills them. She picks them off like Like the Predator or something.

It says, bam, bam, bam. This is Zach Galligan, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. And that was Greg there, adding his... commentary about his more recent re-watching of the film and trying to pass it on to the next generation, as I think we should. We should scar our children the way that we were scarred as youth. Utes.

Did you say Utes? Okay, so now we're going to check in with our most recent holiday gathering, and I sat everyone down and once again had them choose their songs. So we're just going to check in there from time to time, and I'll probably add a little something as we go along. There's been a few things I've had to clarify and specify after the fact, so I'll check back in from time to time with some extra information on the songs we're about to play. But with that, let's check into our most recent holiday party and see what song choices they come up with.

All right, so we are here. We're doing our songs. We have Ben, our man from Tower of Technobabble here. What is your choice for this holiday festive song-filled episode? I got the email with the homework assignment on it.

You know, a holiday song and a movie. And I don't have many holiday traditions, but I always try to watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. But I always watch the Mystery Science Theater version. It's my favorite version. Because they make everything better.

And in the middle of this episode, and this was from... I think this episode was in their third season around 91. It was. When everything was just working. On that show.

Because those first couple seasons are kind of rough. No, no. This is when it was really good. They hit their stride by a three and four. Like Mike Nelson was writing the jokes and Joel Hogson was saying the jokes.

And you had the definitive Crow and Tom. Everything was just great. And in the middle of this episode was a song that had nothing to do with the actual movie. Crow. decided he wanted to have a brand new Christmas carol, and he called it Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas. I'm familiar with this.

Oh, and it's just the best thing ever, you know? And the funny thing is, they wrote the song because at the time on cable, the movie Roadhouse was being played over and over and over again. It still is today. And I didn't have cable growing up, and I had never seen Roadhouse. So I was watching the song and hearing all the jokes and not really getting it, but just liking the song.

So then years later, when I finally did see the movie Roadhouse– I kept thinking back to this song. I'm like, oh, so that's what that lyric meant when he tears out his throat. It all makes sense now. I love it. Just like in the song.

The whole time I could just see, yeah. But it's such a great song. Santa will be our new regular Saturday night thing. I love it. Nice choice.

Thank you. I think it's kind of hot to be wearing these scarves. Oh, well, the scarves are a must. You can't go caroling without a scarf. Catch your death.

Man, you were like one of those kids I remember in high school that used to sell the most candy bars for the marching band. Yeah, and you'd be president of the swing choir, too. Thanks, Joe Robinson. Thanks, Tom Servo. I'm going to kiss up this guy.

Okay, now, if you'll all look at your sheet music, we can rehearse my new song. You wrote a Christmas song? Hey, there's no tradition like a new tradition. Wait a minute, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas? Yeah, yeah, based on my favorite movie, Roadhouse.

Come on, what the heck does Patrick Swayze have to do with Christmas? Hey, you keep Christmas in your way and let me keep it in mine, okay? Come on, sir, it seems like a nice enough sentiment. We can give it a shot. All right, okay, okay.

12-8 time, key of A-flat major. Cambod, shoot him the tune. Okay, you'll just have to stay with me, everybody, okay? All your parts are written out. Let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas by Crow T.

Robot. Paul, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas? Right. Hit it, Cam-bot. Oh, oh, I start.

I get it. I'm sorry. Okay, pick it up. Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in. We'll gather at the roadhouse with our next of kin.

Not bad. And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing. We'll decorate a bar stool and gather round and sing. Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year. Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear.

Hold it, hold it. Can I stop it? I don't know if I think this is an appropriate sentiment anymore for Christmas. Hey, what, like a good action sequence don't belong at Christmas? Well, no, it's just that I've never heard of an action sequence in a Christmas carol before.

Well, then grab hold of your socks and read on, Joe Robinson. Okay, pick it up from measure 20, Canbot. Lovely intro, though, very tasteful. Thank you. It's my way or the highway that's Christmas at my bar.

I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car. I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till. I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will. Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas one and all. And this can be the haziest...

How long before it becomes a standard? I think you've got to come with me. Come on. Ah, so yes, the classic that is a Patrick Swayze Christmas. That is a nice choice from Ben, and what's funny is he immediately, like after we recorded that, the next day he sent me a link, and it was so awesome that I thought I should also share this with you.

What he sent over was a version that he had found, because that was the classic version as done on Mystery Science Theater 3000. But since then, it's become such a classic that he found a version that is done by a professional choir, and it was all supervised by Joel Hodgson himself. So here is the choir version of A Patrick Swayze Christmas. Thank you to Ben for sending this over to share with all of you. Joy to the world, America!

Open up your heart and. Let the Patrick Swayze Christmas Inn gather at their own house with our next of kin. Next of kin. Santa can be our regular Saturday, I think. Decorate up our stool and gather round and sing.

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year. Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear. It's my way or the highway, this Christmas. At my bar. You'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car.

Touch my car! What a word that Santa has been stealing from the till. I think that that bright jolly old elf better make out his will. Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas. One and all.

This will be the haziest. Pain don't hurt. This will be the laziest. Nice until it's time not to be nice. This will be the sweetest Christmas.

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Sounds better. All right, Fred, what do you have for us? Oh, I'm torn. That's tough. It doesn't have to be the definitive one.

It can just be A1. Just choose one. The one that really sort of, I guess, has the most resonance for me. I want to pick the Grinch song because I love the Grinch song, but I can't. They're all Ravenscroft.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just such a fabulous song. It was on my list of attainable goals, things that I could actually conceivably get done to learn those lyrics. I still haven't done it.

But can you say they're great? Because that kind of covers it, really. Yeah, you just remember the basics, you know. But I'm going to have to go with Frosty the Snowman. Because it's the one that, like, when I really felt like I understood Hamlet and the invasion of the body snatchers, it all went back to my feelings about Frosty the Snowman.

And there are a lot of tie-ins, obvious tie-ins, from Hamlet to Frosty the Snowman. Sure, we don't have to go down this road again. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that this too-too's solid flesh would thaw, melt, resolve.

He's kind of a snow golem, isn't he? Yeah. But I just remember actually imagining the lyrics. And there are some weird things in the lyrics. There's some sort of traffic cop incident.

I don't know what that's all about. Frosty. But the whole idea is they build a snowman. Yeah. Put a hat on him.

He comes to life. It just spooked me, as many things did, the idea that he'd be back again next year. And like every other kid in the world, I knew that no two snowflakes are alike. So next year they're going to go out and they're going to build another snowman and look into his face. Dead eyes.

Just dead coal eyes. And they've got the hat. And all they have to do is think twice for a second. And they're like, oh, no. I mean, Frosty's gone, isn't he?

Oh, God. We've been believing all this. But now that when it comes to the moment, they're going to go, no, this isn't Frosty. This is Lumpy the Snowman. Somebody who knows who this is.

Who knows? We're gonna put the hat on this he might be a nice guy sure. He's right that jimmy durrani has a lot to answer for this is. Terrifying but he's or it's like invasion of the body snatchers even if he says hi hello happy birthday whatever the fuck he says um what if he just doesn't seem the same you know it. Well, we replace ourselves every seven years.

Yeah. You know, so. Well, and that's the whole theme. It doesn't matter that Frosty's body is different. His soul is still the same.

I don't know. His frosty, frosty soul. Okay. But we've changed. You know, that's the thing, is we've changed.

We're all different people now since last year, and it's cold out here, and maybe we should just move on, you know? Frosty the Snowman is like the song that resonates the most. And that's what happens in Hamlet. Hamlet is all about people being replaced from the very beginning until they're digging up the old bones to bury the new dead. And it's about actors whose job is to replace other people.

And his whole crisis is that his uncle has replaced his father and they're brothers, so they look alike. And even the first thing that happens... It's like the changing of the guard. So in the dark, these two military guys, one comes and takes the place of the other, and it's just this disturbing fantasy. It's just like The Lion King when you think about it.

Circle of Life. I'm sure they ripped up that story. Alright, so there's Fred's very elaborate reasoning for his choice. Again, there's sort of a weird area there, whether it's a classic TV special versus a film. We usually try to stick more to the film soundtracks.

We'll make some exceptions this episode. We also reserve the right to play whatever the hell we want. But this one I thought instead of going with the very traditional TV version that we've always seen, I actually went back because I'd heard about the fact that that wasn't the original one. And I know the song had come out much earlier. And then the one that we see every year on Christmas came later as an animated special.

But there is actually a 1954 short film that was the first version of Frosty the Snowman, at least as it was done in an animated style. It's almost just like one of the first music videos because it's basically just them taking the song and creating a film to go with it. And it's similar in ways to the animated special that we've all seen a million times but it's a very different visual style it's also more of a a jazzy version of the song sort of acapella and um i don't know it is one that that caught on in its own way it was done sort of independently and then got picked up and was shown i know wgn played it for years as sort of an annual thing that they did So you may have seen it, but if not, go, it's on YouTube, go check it out.

It's interesting to see how it was originally conceived in 1954 in this short film version. So this is the song that accompanies that. This is Frosty the Snowman. Frosty! Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy.

Soul With a corncob pipe and a button nose And two eyes. Made out of coal Frosty the Snowman is a fairy tale they say He was made of snow but the children know How he came to life one day. There must have been some magic in that old. Silk hat they found. For when they placed it on.

His head, he began to dance around. Oh, Frosty, the snowman was alive as he could be. And the children say he could laugh and play just the same. As you and me. Hey, look at Frosty go.

Whee! He's alive as he can be. Fra-di-dum-dum, fra-di-dum-dum, happy. And gay is he. Dum-di-di-do, ding-bum.

Dum-di-di-do, ding-bum. Frosty the snowman knew the sun was hot that day. So he said, let's run and have some fun before I melt away. So down to the village with a broomstick in his hand. Running here and there all around the square saying.

Catch me if you can, ha-ha! He led them down the streets of town right. To the traffic cop. And he only paused a moment when he heard him holler, stop! Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday.

Frosty the Snowman had. To hurry, hurry on his way. But he waved goodbye saying, don't you cry, I'll be back again someday. Thumpity, thumpity, thump, thump. I'll be back again someday.

Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle. Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle. Look at Frosty go. And also, there's just a memorable thing from when I was in third grade There was a kid who was like a child preacher. Nobody liked him because he would preach at you and stuff.

To hate that while you're in grade school. Maybe his parents were sort of churchy and thought it was cute to get him to do that. And so we went around trying to be cute until everybody just didn't like him. But one day my best friend was like, hey. John is in the bathroom singing Frosty the Snowman.

Just all these kids. Heard the kid in the bathroom singing Frosty the Snowman, and he just kept going. I was like, is this ever going to end? Do we have classwork? Do we have to go back?

It's just a moment I remember from childhood that seemed to go on forever. Well, that's my song. And now it's time for a holiday rant. All right, do you want to hear what pisses me off about Frosty? Yeah.

Not specifically the song, but the show, the animated special that we all watched year after year. And nobody else ever brought this up. And I'm like, it's so ridiculous. It can't just be me, but you've got this whole little group of kids, and they're all hanging out there, and woo-hoo, we're out of school, let's build a snowman. And they're all outside, and they've got their coats, and their scarves, and their hats, and mittens, and boots, and shorts.

Mm-hmm. I'm not making it up. Why has no one else ever noticed they're all fucking wearing shorts? What the hell? The rabbit's not wearing clothes.

That rabbit's not even wearing pants. But like, every one of them is wearing shorts. Are these guys, are their mouths stitched up? Yeah, because they were talking shit and that rabbit wasn't putting up with it. And it's a different version of a rabbit.

You know, they all kind of look like hobbits. Now that I look at it. It's Wrinkling Bass. Wrinkling Bass. I don't know.

Is that a red flag for everyone? What the hell is wrong with this show? It's just me. Well, this chick doesn't even have a jacket on. Well, she's an idiot.

But at least the rest of them have scarves, hats, earmuffs. The one kid's got a scarf bigger than he is, but he's still wearing shorts. I don't know. That's always pissed me off a lot. The other thing I think is really funny is at the end, and we have this big happy ending, and Frosty lives, and he goes with Santa.

Spoiler alert. He goes off with Santa, and he takes her home, and yay. He leaves the little girl. Did his ass melt in the greenhouse? He melts, but he comes back, and it's a big Hollywood ending bullshit.

But, okay, he takes her home. He leaves her on the roof. This is a little girl stuck by herself on a snow-covered icy roof. So two seconds later, she was on the ground with her neck broken, right? That's what you're telling me?

Are you wanting Fred to change his song? Is that what you're getting at? No, I was doing nothing but complaining about it. He had fond memories, maybe, sort of, or traumatized. But I just.

The thing that I think is really interesting about the concept of snowmen in general is... You know, kids in the olden days, you know, they'd make their little snowman and then they would decorate it with common things found around the house, like coal and carrots and old felt. Hats, which is stuff that nobody has anymore. So to make that classic snowman, you have to go and spend a lot of money getting pieces of coal and a big, abraham lincoln hat you know and that nobody has around anymore so i should sell snowman kits i guess is what i'm getting at you know. No what you're saying is it needs to be updated so now like his nose is a remote control oh that's a pottery barn catalog it's just shit laying around your needs one of those hipster hats yeah that'd be great a couple of broken ipods for eyes because they only last about six months and you do something stupid and they fall.

Apart So I think, yeah, I think we need to update this whole how to build a snowman. Batteries for eyes. Yeah. Snow persons now. Depends on which one you build.

It depends on where you put the iPod. Depends on if you put it in the backyard and how personal you get with it. Alright. Moving on. Marlena, what do you have for us?

I don't know the name of the song. And I don't even really know what they say, but in the grudge, when they all start. Going, Fa-hoo-da-ray, fa-hoo-da-ray. Yeah, whatever. I really like that song.

I don't know why. Fa-hoo-da-ray, fa-hoo-da-ray. Welcome Christmas, come this way. Fahoo foreys, dahoo doreys, welcome Christmas, Christmas day. Welcome, welcome, Fahoo ramus.

Welcome, welcome, dahoo damus. Christmas day is in our grasp. So long as we have hands to clasp. Fahoo forays, dahoo doh rays, welcome Christmas, bring your cheer. Fahoo forays, dahoo doh rays, welcome all who's far and near.

Welcome Christmas, Fahuramus. Welcome Christmas, Fahudamus. Christmas Day will always be just so long as. We have we. Fahufores, Dahudores.

Welcome Christmas, bring your light. Ooh. Welcome Christmas, Bahuramus. Welcome Christmas, Dabu Dabus. I have a fondness for Christmas songs that I have no idea what the fucking words are.

You know, like It's easier that way. Like most of them. You should listen to Latin stuff. Like Come All Ye Faithful. Latin Mass.

I have no idea what they sing that song in. Come All Ye Faithful. Yeah. You're singing it like the Yahoo Nori song. Or the one in Peanuts where their mouths turn into little O's.

Yeah. And they just go. Yeah. I feel like I've mentioned my knees like a lot. 20 dubs tonight.

But I'm around her all the time. But like when she sings, that's what she does with her mouth. And it's like so hilarious. It's so funny. She's Athena's character.

She is. She really is. But what's the other one? There's Come All Ye Faithful. And then what's the other Christmas song that's like along those lines?

Feliz Navidad. I really don't know what they're saying. It's like they're not even speaking our language. It was just in my head. Carol and the Bells is pretty frightening.

Oh, the tidings of comfort and joy. Comfort and joy. I don't know what they say in that fucking song either. You just watched it or you're not going to get any figgy. My favorite thing to do with almost any song ever is to just make up words.

There's a Justin Timberlake song that's on the radio and I swear he says a pocket. Full of soap. He does for you i was like. I was going somewhere with like my friend mark and i was like something something in a pocket full of soap he's like i don't think he says that and i was like yeah he does he's like you know there's a way you can find that out and i was like i don't care he says pocket full of soap is. That the take back the night song because that's amazing to me just that whole.

Concept i think it's the mirror song maybe i don't know i don't But I swear it sounds like he says in a pocket full of soap, and that's just where I'm leaving it at. I just remembered that in college I appeared in a movie. That a guy was making jokes in one scene where we went door to door as Christmas carolers, and we sang Hark the Herald Angels Sing, but he didn't know the real words to the second line, so he made them up, and they were E-Bart-O-A-Cho-Ba-Ha-Na. Fred Incentor's Reconciled. There's a reason they were repressed memories.

It was this kid making a movie for a class in school. He's like, yeah, well, you go be in these Christmas carols. This was before Google, so it would have been hard to find everything that you. Need to know. Oh, yeah, you couldn't find it out.

You'd have to go to the library and look at an encyclopedia. Who's going to do that? Yeah. You know what's kind of sad? I bet plagiarism was way more common back in the day because you could just make shit up and say that it came from a book.

Who's going to fucking check that? It's much easier now because it's called copy and paste. Yeah, but you can check that. Oh, actually, I made up. I probably told the story now. i want a book fair contest when i was a kid but i didn't understand it was supposed to be based on a particular book so when they asked me and what was your book i had to make something up i just had to make up a book and i i was about to say uh jack london but it's like no i don't think you write shit like that i don't know so i just made up some sort of name and uh And I won.

And so then the next. Time they had a book fair thing, I thought, I know how to do this. I won last year. I was the winner. So I made this, like, Addams Family-like recreation of Blackbeard's last battle, and it was the bloodiest thing you'd ever seen.

It was very meticulously put together. And, of course, I didn't win because some girl with a bunch of Barbies in a cardboard box.... Karen Carpenter story. Yes. Actually, it was Little Women.

She won with... Oh, because Barbie's a little woman. I get it. And actually, that project, as I've mentioned, is what I'm going to die of. Oh, the asbestos project.

The asbestos project. Because I read in a book in the library that's how they made dioramas at the Field Museum. Well, yeah, we'll go ahead and plug that now. Just go back to the original recipe. Movie Meltdown, and yeah, Fred dies at the end.

Just listen. You'll understand. That's kicking it old school. That's probably two years. You'll appreciate it.

God. Wow. It's an amazing tale, let me tell you. It really was. That's just a snippet.

Just a snippet. Just a taste. Just a taste. I'm done. All right.

Actually, I do want to mention before we move into Lucy. It's not your. Niece again, is it? No. You're not going to do that again.

You've done that 20 times. I know. Don't tell stories over and over again. She's like the only person I hang out with. I can't help it.

Yeah, I'm going to have to be the cop and stop people from retelling stuff we've already heard. You really should. I have to, like, jump in here and set some limits. Don't steal my thing, man. But, um.

What's that Christmas album that's so awesome that you have? Take your pick. No, it's the most awesome one ever. It's got, like, the Porn Orchard song, the Peter Murphy and Tom Waits. That one's kind of amazing.

That's the best Christmas song ever written in history. It's not even a great album overall. There's a lot of misses on that one, but there's a couple that are really great, and that one is amazing. There's a band called Porn Orchard who imitated... Peter Murphy and Tom Waits and sang this song about them.

I thought you were saying it was an actual Peter Murphy, Tom Waits. It's fictionalized. It's blowing my mind. They both do a pretty good version of it. It's a good imitation.

It really is. But it's like this holiday season is what it's called. And they're like. The lyric is this holiday season is all the more reason to die. It's awesome.

It's like the most amazing song ever. Everyone go find that right now because it rules. All right. Well, this is where we're going to stray a little bit because we can't. It's our option.

It's the holidays. We reserve the right to do whatever the hell we want. So this is not specifically from a soundtrack, but I thought because Marlena was so taken with it, we would share it with you guys in its entirety. We did actually work it into a Christmas episode on the original recipe show several, several years ago. So it's one that a lot of people may not even have heard on the show.

And Marlena, it's been so long, Marlena wasn't even on the show then. So that's how far back we're going. So I figured it'd been many years. We can work it back in. And yeah, this is Porn Orchard with this holiday season.

Enjoy, I guess. Well, the carpet has been drinking. Yes, the can opener has been drinking. Oh, I see the typewriter has been drinking. Oh, the doorbell.

Has been drinking. Well, I'll be Peter Murphy. Come on in. Hello, Tom. How's it going?

Uh, you know, the usual. I'll tell you, this lawsuit thing against that drag queen in Georgia is really taking forever. What brings you over here, Pete? Well, Tom, through the night I've been tortured by fever dreams of a lovely and ethereal woman child perpetually beyond my taunted reach, driving me to the very brink of madness. Hmm, jeez.

Well, I hope she's stacked. Say, Pete, I'd offer you a drink, but I'd down the whole thing myself already. Then, Tom, for lack of spirits, let us toast this cold and empty Noel with a song. That's not a bad idea. Oh, give me a noose I can hang from the tree.

I need no excuse to end my misery. This holiday season is all the more reason to die. Oh, pull up a stool and an ear to a fool. Once found some solace in the season of Yule. This holiday season is all for more reason to cry.

I put on my mittens One green and one red And I walk alone Where they bury the dead The snow falls as I grieve. It's a gothic death rock Christmas. Eve The bottle is empty The sleigh has. A flat The stripper in. My bed is ugly and fat Her tassels are tangled and what's worse my jingle won't jangle This time of.

The year makes me sick to my guts All this good cheer is. A pain in the nuts. When it's your career to be down in the dumps, tidings of comfort and joy really suck. I feel like St. Nicholas is pulling my leg.

This thing we call Christmas is a sorry black plague. This holiday season. Is all the more reason all the more reason to die all the more reason to. Die all the more. That guy's name is Benjamin.

That is his professional name, the one that does Tom Waits. And he's kind of got an amazing voice, I have to say. It's different than Tom, but it equally is. What the hell, and how did you get into singing? I mean, he does a really good Tom Waits impression.

But he's doing a Tom Waits version of that, and it's quite entertaining. My boss tried to argue with me that Tom Waits wasn't that popular the other day, but he just doesn't know what he's talking about. It's okay. I think it depends on the circle that you're hanging out. Yeah.

I do know they've done a questionnaire to the general public who would be the least likely musician to sell out, and Tom Waits is at the top of that list. I mean, Dylan sold it. Yeah. And he wasn't going to do any of that stuff until. How do you define selling out?

Does Tom Waits have the option of selling out? I mean. Most people are like. Um, no, I don't think he's right for us. I mean, he's in like Hollywood movies.

Well, that might. affect the likelihood could be I don't know what the factors. Of probability are he's probably up for it he's just like Pringles he doesn't care he'll do whatever but like they won't give him the check and he's just sitting in his. Driveway doing it let's do that again these. Dudes won't give me a fucking check I don't know keep singing about coke and nobody gives me coke and a fucking smile I don't get nothing I mean like sing. Pringles again Pringles.

Crazy duck wheel chips. Ringo. Kenny. Just wait, that's a different show. Never mind.

Make it up. Tom Waits. Just make it up. But, I mean, like, defy telling out, though. Like, I like Tom Waits, but, like, he's already part of a major record label, and he's in, like, Hollywood movies all the time.

So, like, What is, I mean, he's not doing commercials? Like, that's the definitive? Well, there's a distinction that potheads used to make between commercial music and commercial music. That's what I'm saying. Like, is that what it is?

They're like, oh, you're so commercial, and I mean, like, you're legitimately in commercials. That's what selling out is like. That's all it takes, really. Like, that is, like, the lie. They used to actually do that with the pot itself.

They would have, like, Colombian pot, and they'd, is it Colombian? Is it? Commercial Colombian. And I think what that meant was, it's not Colombian, but we're going to sell it as Colombian because it's more expensive that way. And Pothead's just accepted this term and went, oh, okay.

It's commercial Colombian. Are these real Cuban cigars? Eh, I'm sure they are. I guess it's kind of like, is it fresh? It's fresh frozen.

I don't know what it meant. Nobody ever thought about it. I think it helps Tom's, you know, street cred that most of the movies he does make don't really do that well. He ends up in the weirdest movies sometimes. Like, even stuff that seems like, that's probably going to be a hit.

No, no, somehow. Just his involvement, like, is just somehow. I'm going to remake Short Cuts with just him and Lily Tomlin. I could get on board with that. Everybody else should be fired from that project.

Because they're the only ones who felt like characters like Raymond carver stories and they were they were just perfect for it and i remember the night we saw that movie uh it almost made us like get in a fight we were just so mad at the fucking movie we're just we left and we were just in bad moods. And lucy yeah. Okay, I struggled with this assignment because, frankly, I feel like you're opening old wounds. That's the best part about these shows. Yeah.

So a year ago, you took my favorite holiday song. That's not my fault. I just had that story ready. You just happened to like it. That sounds like your fault to me.

Yeah. So, Baby, It's Cold Outside is no longer my favorite Christmas song. I ruined it. Sorry about that. When it was pointed out to me that it was rapey.

It's very rapey. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Very rapey. It wasn't really a Christmas song either.

Yeah. It's later on Christmas time. It was a holiday song. Well, it originated in a movie called, I think, Holiday Inn. Yes.

About a guy with a really bad business plan to have a hotel that was only open on holidays. And it was originally sung by Ethel Merman and Ricardo Montalban. Really? Yeah. It had nothing to do with Christmas, but it mentions snow, and so it became associated with that.

Sometimes that's all it takes. Yeah. So, now I don't really have anything. We've listened to comics. Told there needed to be a movie tie-in.

I would have been perfectly happy to either mention that or Elf. Now, I think all of my favorite Christmas songs don't. Your theory was that they're all in a movie at some point. So if somebody can. Find me the movie with.

Any of the Esquivel Christmas songs, because that's, like, my favorite Christmas, the Sage Bachelor Pad Christmas. Album, that's amazing. And then the Pearl Bailey song, Five Pound Box of Money, which there's pretty much nothing better than that in the world. Also no movie tie-in. That's all I've got.

I don't know what to tell you on that. Yeah. Do you like any Christmas movie? I think that's the way to start with this. I mean, that's kind of the, like, what. about a movie usually the holiday movies and then there's like a song that you get attached to because it's in that movie that's always how the uh that angle worked for me it's just like oh that's what i tie this christmas song to immediately is because it was in this movie again because i'm a movie geek but i'm just like there's so many songs that are traditional song that i can't hear any other way i can hear it and i immediately think of the movie that it's featured in, that has nothing to do with that song and probably is very non-Christmas oriented in many ways, but that's how I always link to so many Christmas songs.

Gotcha. Well, I thought I was a movie geek, but it's possible that I'm more of a Christmas geek. It's possible that my Christmas geekdom has superseded. My movie geekdom. That's a terrible situation.

Yeah. So anyway, I have the XM radio, so there's like five Christmas stations, so I just listen to those pretty much on repeat. During this entire holiday season. You are one of those Christmas people, aren't you? Yeah, I kind of am.

Or I was until last year, when it all got ruined. Yeah, well, we'll win you over to Life Day. You just wait. Yes, last year also being when you ruined Star Wars for me. Yes!

I'm pretty sure Luke has ruined Star Wars. I take no responsibility for the Star Wars holiday special. Thank you. Aha! She was wrong.

And once again, my theory holds true. They all sort of turn up in movies at some point. And even funnier, I mean, is it not enough that I dashed all of her Christmas hopes and dreams last year? But no, I think it's funny that this year she picks her song and it is from a movie soundtrack. It just came out.

Lucy has chosen a song from the Madea family Christmas soundtrack. Nice choice, Lucy. Madea, I hope you're happy. Luckily, this song is awesome. So this is, as she mentioned, in her dream list of songs she wanted to work in, Five Pound Box of Money by Miss Pearl Bailey.

Hey, Santa Claus, you want to make me happy this year? Listen to me, honey. Give Pearl something that'll be of some use to me, like a... A five-pound box of money. Now, that's a little gift.

It's loaded with. Lots of sentiment. See, whenever I get blue, Santa, I'm going to think of you. But at the same time, I will change to pay my rent, you see. Now, money isn't everything.

There's no two. Ways about it. But while we're here santa dear it's much better with and without it so really i could be real good and not do nothing funny if you do like i asked you start me right on. Christmas night try me try me try me on that money just try me honey. Santa can you hear me You listen.

To everything I'm asking about? Listen, Santa dear, the new year. Oh, it would be so bright and sunny. Just bring me that little simple thing I've been speaking to you about. Maybe a five pound box of money.

That's all. That's all. It would be so heavenly and help me meet both ends. Yes, indeed. What the whole world.

Really needs is that five pound box of tin. How much can it weigh? I ask you, how much? I don't want the whole money tree. What good is that big thing to me?

You keep the branches. You can keep the trunk and the root. Because all that I want is just a little. Bit of the fruit. So if you want to be sure, I'll be your little old honey, honey bunny.

You try to start me off on. Christmas night with a five pound. No, I better increase that. Make it ten pounds. No, I better put it up.

You could beg while I'm begging, because, I mean, I'll catch you next year. You know, people go out. Sometimes you don't see them no more, so bring the money. Santa! Can you hear me?

Fine! Bring me some money! Oh, Santa! Now, what do I want with this dime? Are you kidding?

It's Christmas, and we're all in misery. Santa Claus conquers the Martians! Santa sets up a fantastic automatic toy factory on Mars. The Martian leader battles the wicked Bodar in a desperate effort to save Santa, the wise man of Mars. 900 years old.

The Battle of the Toys, when Martian kids and Earth kids join Santa to battle the bad guys of Mars. For real space age fun. You'll be out of this world when Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Hey guys, it's the repeater from Tower of Technobabble, and we're getting ready to do our next show, and I thought it might be cool for you to look behind the scenes and. See how the magic happens.

In fact, Conduit is getting Towerbot ready. Right now as we speak. That. Religions. Need it.

Science. Got it. Sci-fi. Do you mean sci-fi? Space probes.

Got it. Sports. Screw that. Star Wars. Got it.

Star Wars prequels. Oh, God, no. Superman. Got it. Transformers.

Got it. Troll Hunter. Got it. Twilight. That.

UFOs. Got it. Urban legends. That's weird tales. Got it.

Weirdos. Got it. Tune in at www.toweroftechnobattle.com and see what happens. What do you say when you saw that fucking Freud? Yeah, that's right, shit for brains.

Go ahead, talk about my hype. Make it about something safe, because you're an emotional fucking cripple. Your soul is dog shit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly. All right, then.

Yoko, what do you have? I don't like Christmas or Christmas movies. I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. So I started really thinking, and I came up with two things. Okay, so when I.

Was a kid... I had like the Home Alone movies, right? On like VHS. I'm sorry. Yeah, no.

Here's the thing that's weird about my childhood is there were things I really liked watching and there were things I really hated watching. But I would watch them the same frequency. Like I would watch things I really hated a lot over and over and over. Like I would watch that like live action Winnie the Pooh show, the 100 Acre Woods. And I remember when it would go up, I'm like, I'm so glad it's over.

And I just never put the connection together that I didn't have to watch it. Were you seeking them out or you were just like one of the kids that parked it and was like, whatever's on. I guess. I don't know. It's so strange to me now.

Like when I think about stuff like that. And the Home Alone movies were definitely like that because I really hated them. But I've probably seen them like 17 times. And the one that is particularly repulsive is the sequel. And when you're asking me about a Christmas song, the only thing I could think about was the one that Tim Carey sings in that movie.

Now, you guys probably think I don't remember any. christmas songs in that movie um but i want to i want to take a minute to just think about tim curry and i want to i want to say why why is tim curry more frightening without makeup than with makeup because when he's like a monster or painted like he's not that frightening but when he is completely like human with no makeup he's terrifying and he was in that movie as like a A bellhop guy or something, like some kind of hotel thing. And he's in the shower singing that panther song, the cougar song or whatever. No, wait. Is he singing that or did he walk in on an inflatable man singing that in the shower? What a troubled childhood, guys.

That's another one of those songs that I had never had any idea what they were saying. I thought they were saying Cool Whip or Cool Jerk or Cougar. I think it. May have been a Cool Whip commercial at one point, which probably further confused. So was he in the shower or was he an inflatable guy?

I think it may have been a Macaulay Culkin hoax type thing that he was doing. Oh, man. I really liked his later movies a lot, but when he was a little kid, I kind of just hated him with everything as another little kid. Yeah. Very specific delivery.

So that's my Christmas song, guys, which is strange. Yeah, I was never really big on the Home Alone movies either. I always thought, I didn't really hate the sappy parts of it. I mean, you don't really get that in a holiday movie. You gotta have the weepy part with the old man next door and all that nonsense, but it was just the goofy slapstick hitting people in the face was.

I don't know. I just thought it was such a dumbed-down holiday classic. But a holiday classic it has become, regardless. But I will give Yoko credit that this is an odd choice for this holiday special, and that's why I like putting these together with everyone choosing whatever their choices are, because everybody sort of remembers things differently and attaches themselves to different things over the years. So.

Yes, it is actually not Tim Curry singing. He's the one that's coming in the room, looking at the person in that room, which is actually Kevin. And Kevin's actually hiding in the shower with an inflatable clown, weirdly enough. And he's dancing around with ropes. And again, it's very ridiculous.

And I guess when you're a kid, maybe it was funny, but it's quite ridiculous. But it's not Tim Curry doing this song. It is, in fact, the Capitals singing. who are singing not any of those other weird things Marlena said, but Cool Jerk, she did work it in there somewhere, is the name of this song. So here is your holiday tie-in classic, Cool Jerk. Cool Jerk.

Cool Jerk Cool Jerk Cool Jerk. We don't care if you really do love you. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.

Now give me a. Little bit of a drum by himself there. Now give me a little bit of bass with those 88s. Are you looking for something else? . . . . . I just don't like Christmas.

Sorry, I don't. I don't celebrate it. I just don't like it. But I do like the Peanuts Christmas. I just really love.

The peanuts in general. And I dig it when, at the end, they're just all dancing to Linus and Lucy. If you guys ever watched them individually dancing. It's very strange. I just wish that every party had that happen.

That's it. I don't know. That soundtrack is phenomenal. I could listen to that on loop forever. It doesn't even register fully that it's Peanuts anymore.

It's just its own thing. It's just a drummer, a bass player... and you know the piano and it's just it's so it's like now a Christmas song requires to have bells and jingling and little sonic snowflakes falling. Sounds like something Dre produced. Yeah and it's just like it's so oh god it's wonderful and the room sounds so echoey in it it's amazing oh my gosh I. Love that album I always think of Snoopy when he's dancing because he dances with his head like completely like towards the ceiling He's got.

That little smile. Snoopy dances like nobody's watching. He does. Sign on, you crazy diamond. Well, I will say, I'll go on record.

In his movies, it's a whole different thing. But I've realized over the years what a... weird fan I am of Tim Curry's musical career and that's hard to claim because nobody else will acknowledge. It not just Paradise Garage but other songs. Well that's one of like it comes on like it's on my phone on me right now and uh like. The Cougar song no like when Paradise Garage I'm like this is an amazing song like it gets grouped in with that whole little group of you know songs that came attached to that movie and that's the only reason he pays attention to it but I'm like that one's amazing but like.

The other one, like, those are really cheesy. Like, I Do the Rock is really cheesy. But, like, you go to his other stuff, like, the stuff that was the album track. I can't remember. They're super serious.

I remember, like, I put that album on my, before, like, iPods were a thing, and it had, like, a different thing. I remember listening to that, and I don't remember what song it is. I can't tell you what it was named. But there was, like, one song on there that was, like, really rocking, and I was super into it. I think it was, like, Really Deep or something.

Yeah, I mean, there's two or three that I legitimately think are amazingly well-written songs. And it's like, you have to disconnect yourself, and you're like, wait, this is Tim Curry? But, like, there's several that are so well done. Yeah, I think he never got any respect because he's very ridiculous, and, like, he had his movie persona, and his, you know, he was so well known in his other worlds that, like, I guess just nobody took him seriously. Well, he's one of those people, he's like a bigger than life actor.

He is. When he tries to play life size, he's. Just horrible i guess why he's terrifying to me when he's like that it is but you know if you see him trying just being a guy in a movie he's helpless but if he's like almost a cartoon. Character like pennywise totally. Believable he can sell that in a way.

Darkness like he's amazing at. A level of like nicholas cage and raising arizona it's like that guy is a cartoon Um, and I remember in. Home Alone, the scene where he, like, smiles and he looks so much like the Grinch. And I remember I waited. I was like, I hope they make a live-action Grinch.

Like, I remember thinking as a kid, I hope they make a live-action Grinch movie and cast Tim Curry. And then they fucking cast Jim Carrey. Got the wrong Carrey. Carrey. Carrey.

Carrey. Not the same. Tim Curry, Jim Carrey. Tim Wise. Close.

I always think of Tim Rice when I think of Tim Curry. Tim Curry and Rice. They should team up and start a cop show. Actually, the last time I saw Tim Curry, he was on an episode of Criminal Minds. He played like a...

A criminal? A killer? A mind. He was like a PETA rapist or something like that. PETA rapist.

And his face is, like, saggy. Peto? Oh, that's even worse. Jeez. I heard Peter.

I thought she. Said Peter Rapist. And I thought it was a new thing the kids said to describe just, like, a rapist on a crime show. See, I assume it's really strange. I assume that's a cop show.

It's the worst cop show ever. A Peter Rapist. A pedo. I heard people for ethical treatment of animals. That's uncool.

American people and I am American, so I'm really just being a pretentious douchebag right now. Pedo rapist. Right, because the English call it pedo. There was this episode of IT Crowd where she was dating a guy named Peterphile. And, like, British people say pedophile.

And I haven't been able. I can't even force myself to say pedophile since then. Like, it's just, like, stuck in my brain. It's just, like, where my mind goes. Pedophile.

Britton, you're warping her mind. I know. I hope you're happy. So true. And also, from watching, like, a lot of Mighty Boosh...

I love that show. I say beeswax. Sometimes I say things and sound like old Greg. And I haven't watched that show in years. But, like.

I said something. About beeswax candles a couple months ago, and it came out, beeswax candles. I don't know why. And I say things like that all the time. And it's just like, it's so weird.

Bolos. Yeah, but I think anybody who knows you is just like, that's Marla. No one questions it, but I mean, like, if I were to introduce new people into. My life, they'd probably be like, what the hell is wrong with you? It takes us all a little while to be like, I don't know.

There's a period of adjustment. It all makes sense in time. Hands out a pamphlet. Yeah. Christmas.

Yeah, you do reach an age where you have to come with instructions. Like when a car gets so messed up, if somebody wants to borrow your car, you have to tell them a bunch of stuff. Yeah, let me write it down. You need to do that. Well, it's like opening up a VCR and there's instructions.

Yeah. Yeah. So what's your Christmas song, Brian? I don't know. Do you want me to pick one?

Yeah. Again, I choose my Christmas movies and music a little different. And even, as I said, if the songs are traditional, I immediately draw from a different place. So I think this episode we should go out much like they go out in one of my favorite Christmas movies. Die Hard.

Because that's immediately what I think of with Christmas movies is that. Not Lethal Weapon? That's my other one. Those are my two go-tos for Christmas movies. I'm not going.

To add Getaway to that. But, you know, it's Die Hard, Lethal Weapon. These are my Christmas movies. Gremlins. Gremlins is also good.

Yeah, that's a good one. We've also got that one, too. Well, in the original Home Alone. Klaus Kinski originated the role. It was called Das kindereste Interzimmer mit keinem Alter Leute.

It was a German expressionist. Later, the Home Alone was based on that early German. I thought you were making a joke. And then I realized it wasn't a joke. It was facts.

He mixed stuff up. Actually, I got my father to translate. I asked him, Years ago, because he taught German, what's the most complicated way you could say home alone in German? And it was, das kinder ist in der Zimmer mit kind, with no old people. And I can't remember the last time.

The child is home with no old people. Because people used to come into the art gallery and ask if the inflatable scream figure was the kid from Home Alone. And I started telling them yes because it was. The original Home Alone. That's beautiful.

Yeah. Wow. That's funny. Who knew that Macaulay Culkin was pulling from such a deep, deep source? Michael Jackson.

He knew. Oh, that's so much worse now. That's alleged. That has never been proven. He got acquitted twice.

I'm going to defend the King of Pop. I will, always. I love Michael Jackson. Do you guys remember when he died? You couldn't forget because it was all over everything forever.

I convinced somebody. I like to lie to people. I convinced somebody with a little certainty. That did not know Michael Jackson was dead and I was in shock, feigned shock. She was near tears, so she didn't know that Michael had died.

I prefer Jackson 5-0. I love Michael just all forms of how he transcended. It became like a, extraterrestrial being like. I i just i was not so into that part i. Just man i just i don't know dude.

Dangerous he's from that same like planet that david bowie and tim curry are from like that that might be true actually yeah like i just can see that love those weird people i. Just i loved how that the second he died everyone was suddenly like like years of hate america in the world hating michael jackson. Everyone mostly america he was. A cultural hero or like whatever like He still toured throughout the rest of the world. We don't know what you got until it's gone.

Right? Right. That's what it should be called, the Michael Jackson story. You don't know what you got. Until it's gone.

Don't stop until you get enough. That's my favorite Michael Jackson story. Yeah, when I go home, the sign for Indiana, it usually says Lincoln's Boyhood Home. It should say Lincoln's Boyhood Home. Michael jackson's boy indiana stop the scariest place i know they should put like a michael jackson like straight up like a music park in gary indiana.

They should just there needs to be something it looks like afghanistan there's random fires everywhere yeah fires everywhere. Just need to have like a big michael jackson statue like that robocop when they're gonna. Put you know i remember once i think it was the speed museum they were There's, like, a famous statue of Michael Jackson and his monkey. Oh, yes. It was gold.

No, no, no, no. It was painted. I remember this artist. I know who you're talking about. And is it, like, he, like, laying, like, reclined, and he has the chimp, and it's, like, painted.

It looks like the statue of Athena. It's that guy, Jeff. What's his name? I can't remember. I can see it in my brain.

I think it came to the Speed Art Museum. Is it the guy that's a balloon animal? Yeah, Coombs. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that's right.

So that came here? I think so, yeah. Balloon animals. All right. I can't say I'm a fan, but.

Balloon animals? No, I love balloon animals. It's the song I find myself singing. What are you not a fan of? That artist.

He's not really that famous. That's the one that just like, when I'm tired and dumb, I just find myself going, oh, balloons. It's a very head trauma-like song. Yeah, and it's really hard to sit. We had this conversation.

Have we had this conversation about the backup? Yeah. They tried to make it just insufferable, so they released the record, and they released it anyway. I'm Elvis. I can do whatever I want.

I mean, Elvis didn't want it. No, Elvis didn't want it released. It's hard, but it doesn't matter. Elvis was like, they want me to sing this song. I think this song is garbage.

I think enough things are blue. I want you to just make the silliest noises you possibly can, so the recording of it will be completely unlistenable, and they'll be like, no, that was a terrible idea. You were right, Elvis. And so they came up with that, like, da-da-da-da-da, and he was like, yes, that's perfect. You nailed it.

This is awful. And they were like, we love it. Bring it on. And it became, like, his most identifiable Christmas hit. Nice.

So, yeah. Christmas songs. Alright, well and that rounds things out here at the old Attack of the Killer soundtrack holiday special. But as I said, I think we need to go out the way Die Hard goes out. With let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Welcome to the party, pal! So as the cops roll up to clean up this mess of the building I've just blown up, I will say once again, thank you for joining us for this little holiday adventure here. And if nothing else, you know, you have a happy holiday of your choice or enjoy Life Day. And in this season, I will remind you, get a life and we'll provide the holiday soundtrack. Thank you for listening.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful But the fire is so delightful And since we've no place to go ¶ Let. It snow, let it. Snow, let it snow ¶ ¶ It doesn't show signs of stopping ¶ ¶ And I brought some corn for popping ¶ ¶ The lights are turned way down low ¶ ¶ Let. It snow, let it snow, let it snow. ¶ ¶ Let me finally kiss goodnight ¶ ¶ Oh, I hate going out in the storm ¶ ¶ But if you really hold me tight ¶ All the way home I'll be. Warm.

The fire is slowly dying, and my dear, we're still goodbying. But as long as you love me so, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. When we finally kiss goodnight, how I hate going out. In the storm. But if you really hold me tight, all the.

Way home I'll be warm. The fire is slowly dying, and my dear, we're still goodbying. But as long as you love me so, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Angel agrees. Hey!

What's your choice, Angel? Hark the herald angels sing. Hark the herald angels sing. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by The Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, Email producer at moviemeltdown.com.