John Waters Roadtrip

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Someone will pay for this! Someone will pay with our life for this grossly offensive act! What's up? Welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian.

I'm Marlena. And we're coming to you live via digital recording from the outskirts of Days of the Dead Culture Shock. It's their own subsection, subgenre, genre fest. And it's awesome. Well, Anna, what's the most exciting thing you've come across today?

And you're holding it in your hand. I know your answer. I got these gruesome greeting cards. They're from the Tops Company, circa 1992. And they are awesome, except they're all glued together, which is unfortunate.

That's because they were glued together in the 80s. In the 90s. Are you sure? Since 92. That's still a long time.

It's still a good 20 years. It's a long time for glue to turn into some sort of cement. I don't understand why they were ever glued together in the first place. Why would they have. Been glued together in the first place?

It just seems unnecessary. Just to mess with kids. I think so. But I want to open them, and they're stuck. It makes so much more.

Because they are so innocuous on the outside. Like, I've been missing you more and more, and there's something really subversive on the inside, and I can't see what it says, and it's driving me insane. So these are not officially associated with the... garbage pail kids but they're very in the spirit of garbage pail kids i think. I i never thought i'd say this but i think i enjoy these more than garbage pail kids because garbage pail kids are just like in your face these are like these are very lure you into a false sense of security yeah and then poop on. You nice the front of them is usually a very cutesy little picture that's like Most of them are like weird sappy stuff.

I mean, this one has two pigs on it and it says, and it's a nice little cutesy drawing of two pigs and the boy pig says, you are so lovely, darling, that I want to give you the moon. And then you open it up and he's showing her his ass. That's the kind of humor we're talking about here. You're sugar and spice and everything nice. Am I flesh eating weasels like you too?

That's the inside punchline on that one. So many. Sweetie, if I could give you the moon to live on, you freak. I'm okay with that one. That one actually doesn't make sense.

I feel like they're missing a word there. It does seem grammatically wrong, but I like the spirit of him calling her a freak. And then, darling, all I want is your hand and mine forever. And it's like this nice.... Sort of cross-stitchy.

Yeah. And then it says the rest of you I can live without and it's like a deranged hunchback holding a severed hand. Like a dead I don't know like our crumb-esque looking girl in the alley behind him. It's amazing. It can't be crumb-esque she doesn't have a giant ass or thighs.

Well she doesn't have a body. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if you would bother drawing a girl. But like the art is different and it looks like All of it looks like it was done by somebody important or famous or something, but I don't really know. I feel like one of them said something about the art.

One card out of all. The scratch and stink one. Yeah, they do have how many? One in four or something like that. It has a special scratch and sniff, although they specifically say scratch and stink option.

It says one scratch and stink every pack, but I don't think I have a scratch and stink in every pack. I feel like it lied to me. You got ripped off. No, maybe it does. I really like to open them because my curiosity is peaked.

She can't focus on anything else, people. It's pretty sad. I think you're good looking, witty, intelligent, and you have your whole life ahead of you. What could this possibly say on the inside? I need to know.

Burn in hell. Baby, I've got you under my skin. And it's like this cheesy man. It's Bono, isn't it? I don't know.

It looks like Steven Seagal. Oh, man. It's like a mixture of Bono and Steven Seagal. It's a nightmare. And maybe like MacGyver or something.

I don't know. But I just need to know. Like, welcome home, my dear friend. While you were gone, the sun stopped shining, the wind stopped blowing, dot, dot, dot. Like, what does it possibly say?

I need to know. Yeah, it's killing me. It's just going to implode. I know. But aside from your random haul of collectible cards here, what is the real reason this brought you here?

John Waters. And were you not sitting next to him just a few short moments? I sat next to him. My arm touched his arm. And how excited are you?

I was really excited. But when I get really excited, I get tired. You're very special. That's how I process excitement. Very special.

So, yes, John Waters was awesome. Mm-hmm. We got our special little moment to hang out with him. Poster signed. Poster signed.

Picture. Special limited edition artwork. Yep. Yeah, it was really fun. Not very many people have liked it on Instagram, though.

So far. What's wrong with them? It's only been five minutes, but. That could be part of it. You know.

I feel like it should be liked by hundreds of people. Oh, it's been a while. Have you any new stories of your adventures in Marlena Land? You know... so many things happen. So many things that I forget.

I don't know. It's like, how do I narrow it down to just one story? And it's like, I feel like they're not that funny. You would have, a lot of them are just like, you would have had to have been there. Take us there.

Describe it. That's creepy. Please don't ever talk like that ever again. Or all the time. Like, See, I don't even know if this is going to be funny to just talk about it.

Like, last week, my friends and I, it was my friend's birthday, and we decided to walk from the bar that we were at back to our house, and they were both kind of drunk, and I was not. So we had to, like, climb over the snow mountain, and then there was a car coming, and I told them to hide. I didn't tell them to hide. I said, get out of the street, and they hid. They, like, ran and, like, dived behind this random minivan.

And then one of them peed her pants because she was laughing so hard. And I was like, I did not fucking tell you to hide. Why did you hide? It was a car. It wasn't like a kidnapping van or something.

Like, I don't know. Which is usually following you around. Yeah, probably. These are the people you hang out with. No, I just, not really.

I just, there's something about me that attracts strange stalkers. No normal people ever want to be my friends, just like weirdos. That's what I'm doing here. Yeah. I really feel like I'm letting you down on the stories, but I mean, funny things have happened for sure, but they just get filed away, you know?

Got a lot of other important things I have to remember. Shenanigans. Oh, Lord. I'm pretty low on the list right now. I mean, I'll think of it when I'm not supposed to be talking about them.

That's the way it always happens. You said you could handle the other half of this episode. I don't ever have anything useful. That's why I create random, like, specific things that we have to talk about or people we have to talk to. Because I've realized in the regular world, I have nothing to say.

I have no actual conversational skills outside of talking about geeky things. I tried to watch a movie last night. It was called Submarine. From what I could tell, it's pretty funny. But I've only watched, like, the first ten minutes, maybe.

Maybe seven. I fell asleep. What did your dog think about it? They had their heads under the blankets the whole time, so they didn't... Nope.

I did wake up, like, with the heating blanket cord wrapped around my neck. Almost died. Do you think your dogs are secretly trying to murder you? Yeah, probably. If they could, they would.

If they had opposable thumbs... They'd come up with a better plot. Probably. I often tell mine that. That's the only reason they keep me around, is I can open the food bin.

That's true. I like to think that... I asked my roommate, I was like, do you think the dogs love me? He's like, I mean, well, you feed them. Sometimes.

And I was like, yeah, but do you think they love me? He's like, no. Nice. Nice. Mine are way too excited to have me around.

They still don't calm down. Yeah. I mean, they attack and claw the hell out of me, but they do it with love. Yeah. I mean, my dogs are the same way, but I don't know.

I don't know if he was saying that to be mean or if he was just saying that. Because sometimes he just says like, I don't remember last night I was driving him home from work and I said something about, I was like, oh my God, look at my face. And And Jessica was like, well, it's just like your face. And he's like, yeah, I mean, that's how your face always looks. I was like, I have makeup running all down my face.

I was like, I look like a monster. He's like, that's just how you always look. And I was like, thanks. He's like, no, I'm not saying like you have a terrible face or anything. You're just not writing these cards you just bought.

I know, right? Your face. Let me tell you about your face. It's not like the worst face. And then you open it up.

There's this guy that comes into my work. His name is... I don't want to say his name. Make him a code name. He has a code name.

Make him an extra different code name. See, here's the thing. To tell the story, I have to say his actual name. I don't know about this. Okay.

Well, he walks like he's about to poop his pants. Like he has this weird walk. And I'm only making fun of this guy because he's super annoying. I don't mean like, oh, he's so helpless and like. I don't think he is.

He's just weird and he's fucking annoying. There's a lot of people like that in the world. But he walks like he's about to shit his pants. So he's earned the nickname Diarrhea Dan. But his real name is worse than Diarrhea Dan.

It's like, God, I don't want to say it. So I'll give him like a fake name. Let's just say it's like Kip Kitterton. Kip Kitterton. That's pretty bad, yeah.

That is, like, pretty close to what his name actually is. But it's just like, God damn. When I found out what his name was, I was like, God, that's so much worse than diarrhea, Dan. Neither's good, I'll tell you. I mean, like, I'm not knocking a name that has alliteration.

I think that's fun. I mean, I have alliteration in my name. But two Ks, it's just the worst. Like, Kip Kinkle, he was so ashamed of his name that he, like, shot people to deal with. It's always worked for Clark Kent.

Yeah, but that's two C's. One of them's not. Yeah, but they're... I don't know how to spell. Just stop it.

This looks like a job for the alphabet. Remember that conversation we had earlier about how people are always really surprised when they find out that I'm actually kind of smart? I think you put on a good snow job. I do. I do.

I believe I said your specialness covers it up. You're very special. Once I was out with a friend and then her friend and she asked me like what I was in school for. And I told her and she didn't even like know what it was. But she's like, I never like, she's like, wow, I never knew you were like smart.

Yeah. She's like, you just, like, don't seem smart. I'm like, I was, like, really mad. Because, I mean, like, I know I'm, like, goofy and everything like that, but I get really, like, very competitive. I'm, like, very academically competitive.

That made me very mad. There's a difference in book smarts. And then there's, like, street smarts. Are there goofy smarts? I don't know.

Well, I mean, when I was, like, younger, I used to be, like, and I get like this sometimes, too, but I used to be one of those assholes that's, like. Well, actually, according to Proust, blah, blah, blah. You know, and I realized, like, nobody. Comic book guy, but only for literature. Yeah, well, like, nobody cares.

Yeah, that's kind of what you learn. That's a really good way to, like, alienate yourself, you know? And it's just, like, I have a really good repertoire with all my professors because, like, I'm the funny person. You know, like, I mean. You're certainly funny.

Yeah. Well, I think I've found that even in the geek circles, you know, that we run in. Because to me, it's like that's, because I will see people at, I'm not saying at conventions, but I go to a lot of conventions. But anywhere that I am that's very geek-centric, you know, any of your random comic book shops and, you know, places that geeks hang out, there is a weird, like, know-it-all mentality that a lot of people have and a one-upsmanship that a lot of people have. And I think that's the dividing line to me.

It's like, people that are self-aware enough to, A, realize most people do not care what it is that you're going into right now or what you're trying to correct them about. I'm like, they don't care. So just don't waste your breath. Like, you're not doing anybody any good. You're just frustrated and they're annoyed by you.

So it's like, I feel like that in general is something, you know, and just that level of self-aware that, like, you're not being obnoxious to other people is what separates the, like, cool geeks from... From the annoying geeks of the world. So I, again, I, it's, it's not even that it's not even like trying to like one up people or correct them. It's just like, it's like, I love what I do and I love what I study, but if I'm like hanging out with my friends, like I don't really want to have a conversation about like, I don't know, genetics or like communism or some, anything like, no, like let's talk about like, some cartoon you watched or like. I did that yesterday as we got into a very detailed discussion about Thundar the Barbarian.

And there was a recognition between, there were like three of us and we were all sort of, we were guys obviously because it's hard to find a girl geek that's that hardcore about Thundar. But yeah, and everyone was roughly around the same age. So we just tapped into this like childhood cartoon Saturday morning vein and it was like this, This weird little bond was just, yeah, it was, I liked those moments. But again, we were all involved in the conversation. We all knew what the other person was talking about.

We were all sort of like adding things to that. Oh yeah, remember they did this? So it's different than the like wanting to nitpick and argue over everything. I think there's a very specific, and again, that's just, I have no problem talking about the things that I like. In fact, I prefer that.

I don't like having to talk about things In the real world. I guess I just like to compartmentalize things. So it's just like I have one sphere where people talk about school stuff and important issues and stuff in the world and all that jazz. And then when I'm hanging out with my friends, we want to talk about Broad City. See, I just boycotted the first half of that.

Cereals. Like I don't talk to people in the real world pretty much at all most of the time. And then I'll find my geek crew out there and we just, we're knee deep in it and we're all on the same playing field. We all know we're willing and everybody enjoys it. So I'm okay with that.

It's just when the two people mix is when you have problems. The only thing I've watched lately is Broad City, by the way. That's all I've ever watched anywhere because it's so good. So good. Which one is this one?

You've never seen Broad City? I know the title, and it gets mixed up with the 400 other TV shows that everybody goes on about. No, it does not. Broad City is a story roughly based on my life, minus the drug use. I'm not into that.

I have that, too. It's called The Goldbergs, and it's awesome. Basically, it's about two girls who run around New York getting into trouble. Some, literally some of the things that have happened to them have happened to me and my best friend. And you've probably told the story on this show.

Probably. Like the last episode that I saw, like the main girl, I guess, got stuck in a hole. This does sound like you and Winnie the Pooh. And they didn't have their cell phones because they were like, no, we're going to boycott our cell phones for the day. But then they came upon this random group of soccer-playing boys, and they're like, we don't need our cell phones.

What are we, like, teenage girls? Boys! We're just like, very, very, you know, that's something that would happen in my life. Now, who stars in this other than you? On the TV version?

I don't know. Lana and Abby. I thought maybe it had like a person of interest and not that Caviezel guy. No, I don't know who that is. Well, yep.

Mine is the Goldbergs and it's awesome. So you should watch that. Is the Goldbergs about Jewish people? They have the name Goldberg and we'll leave it at that. That's pretty much all I know on that end because they really don't go into that.

I'm just saying that because Abby and Ilana are both Jewish and like I mean, I'm not a practicing Jew, obviously, but, like, my family heritage is Jewish, and so is my best friend, so it's like... I think that's why we're funny. I think there's truth in that. I think you're funny because you're special. Special.

I mean, like, Seinfeld says, is it racist if you like it? If I like the race, does that make it racist? Yeah, exactly. I mean, like... you know. Technically i think that's kramer just to not get the wrong character in trouble okay sorry well jerry makes that comment but wasn't he talking about kramer because he had a thing for asian women yeah.

As we all know that that couldn't. Even be true because yeah we know kramer is not racist at all i haven't heard anything i don't know. What you're talking about oh yeah um So on the same day that our friends like ran and hid, for some reason we thought it would be really hilarious to have a seance. I don't know why. Special.

But I don't remember what happened. It was late. But I think we like made secret wishes and then like prayed to, I don't know. Who do you pray to during a seance? You sure you're not eight years old?

Based on all these stories, I'm pretty sure you're eight years old. Funny about it. It's great. Nothing that cool has happened. I went to New Orleans.

That's not cool. That is cool. We actually, we didn't have any money so we just walked around all day and like took pictures and stuff. Made it seem like we were having a better time than we were. But really we were like hungry and our feet hurt.

We were like We were like, oh, I'm so ready to go back home. But we'd, like, post pictures and be like, having a great time, guys. Thanks. Oh, the lies. Internet, interpersonal communication.

But it's one of those things, like, it's one of those things where, like, your memory of a place is better than the place was. You know, and I've been to New Orleans, like, several times. And, like, I do love it there. But it was just, it was rainy and we were poor. So, like.

We weren't staying in the quarter, so we had to, like, travel really far to get to the... I mean, it's not, like, the French Quarter. It's the only cool part of New Orleans. But we didn't even have money to take, like, a cemetery tour, which my friends really wanted to do. But for, like...

It's, like, 20 bucks. Fuck that. I don't know. I think that's usually how that goes, though. It's, like...

And, again, I think that... Maybe that didn't happen until we invented the camera. Do you think your memories of stuff were as, like. Cheesy and happy as they were, like, hundreds of years ago. Well, I kind of think hundreds of years ago, people's, the average person's life was all about struggle, and people didn't have vacations.

Or things like that. You're lucky to not die, so. So that's, like, a moot point, but. Like, coincidentally, around the time when we invent the camera, like, even going back to, like, really old photos, it's always, like, people all, like, gathering together and taking cheesy shots and, like, group photos. Are you talking about, like, first photos?

Yeah. If you go back, even really old black and white photos of people at events, it's not really very different from the photos we're taking now. We're just doing it with way more small and technical pieces of machinery. But I feel like the photos still have that same spirit of, woohoo, look what we're doing. I don't know that that existed until we invented the camera to try to preserve a moment, even if that moment's not exactly happening like that.

Well, I mean, photos are always manufactured. I mean, unless it's, like, totally candid and no one knows that it's there. Like, a photo is a manufactured glimpse into a moment. It's you preserving a moment. But the moment starts with you going, say cheese!

And everybody goes, hey, post bullshit. I feel like that really, you know, that didn't happen until, like, the 50s or when people started owning. Maybe the 40s because people still had, like, film cameras. Slides and things like that in the 40s. But, I mean, not until people got their own cameras.

Because, like, the first photos people really only took very, very... Sometimes when you were dead. Yeah. I mean, the reason that a lot of, like, memento mori photos exist is because that's the only time you... It's your first and last photo.

Yeah. It's the only thing your family has to remember you by. So, photos were like an event. It wasn't just like... while I'm bored let's take a photo it was like a big deal like a photographer had to come to town and be paid like a lot that's. Why put together this contraption light powder there's a whole different world than the selfies we take today but I still feel like there's a.

Little element to that I mean I think I think photos are always manufactured you know I mean photos of people if you're aware if you're aware that the photo is being taken then you're going to behave accordingly. So I mean, that's half the reason we came here today, was just to go sit next to John Waters and take our picture. Be like, hey, look, this one time I met John Waters. It was awesome. It's not like you were hungry, like you were, and you were mad because you couldn't get your card to part.

But later, you'll look at that photo and be like, that day I met John Waters. Was so awesome. I wasn't hungry when I met John Waters. We'd just gotten back from Congress. Talk about earlier when you were like, this sucks.

I'm hungry. And then we couldn't find a place to eat. We're going to forget all of that nonsense when we wandered down the street and your phone was fighting with you and it wouldn't tell you any place to get food. Well, I mean, I think that just depends. Some people, like, preserve memories of the good things about events and other people don't.

I think it's just perspective. I don't necessarily think that photography plays a big role in that. It's just, I don't know, how you choose to remember something. Yeah. But I think we didn't have a way to specifically pinpoint a moment like that before then.

I guess diaries maybe were the closest thing people had to like, I want to remember everything about this moment kind of thing. But up until we had a way to physically, visually capture it, it then gives you that little window, literally, of like, oh yeah, this is where I was and this is who was there and this is what, you know. It then triggers all these weird memories of what else you were doing at the day. I mean, I don't know. kind of feel like life up until the last i mean post in the post-modern era like life is varied and i mean not interesting for everybody but it's like it's not that monotonous like some people have very monotonous lives but in general most people don't you know like if there was something worth remembering when your great-grandparents were alive those things were like few and far between you know like because life was rough yeah not even we're.

Just kind of spoiled now not even that. It's just your your daily life was pretty much the same day to day you know like monday through friday you did the same thing and you know you were you lived like a very routine life and now it's like i mean with travel and globalization and the internet and all these factors like I never do the same thing two days in a row even though my life is like booked like full of the same things that I have to do every day you know like I can go to Target on Monday and then I can go to TJ Maxx on Tuesday living the crazy life this. Is how your life works where am I going to go buy stuff. Today yeah exactly um so I think just People have more to remember than they did.

I mean, if you had a dance or a ball or a wedding or a funeral or any major life event, you didn't have those every day. You remembered it pretty well because the memory of that was really the only entertainment you had. But do you think it made it more impressive? Like it made more of an impression on you because... It was such a big deal to you.

Whereas now, because we do so much stuff, they start to lose their shine. Well, I think studies have shown that our attention spans are fading just because they're overstimulated. I mean, it's just like a constant. You're like constantly bombarded with sensory, like different sensory experiences. And, you know, it shortens your memory and it shortens your attention span.

So I feel like people need photographs and. blogs and live journal and shit to remember stuff because honestly like i have an excellent memory you. Know but you couldn't remember any stories of anything that happened. To you i have an excellent memory for certain things but other things i don't like ask me what i did yesterday and i'm i remember that i went to work but and i can remember it all at a later date like it's not like i forget it's just that recalling it is difficult for me just because there's so much I. Mean, we are. I've said that many times in the last few years as you've watched, like, even just watch, like, it's bad enough, I guess, that we sit in front of the television as much as we do as a nation, as a world.

But, like, even look at the images on the television. Like, in the 50s, it was just leave it to Bieber and that was it. And now, like, you switch channels and half the time there's a window in the top and a person here throwing information at you and they're showing images in the window and there's a ticker running by the bottom and there's a logo over here and like we're even within the image we're looking at we're bombarded with four or five other things going on plus you have a window to everything that's going on, like all the horrors of the world, where we used to just be confined to our neighborhood. If it didn't happen there, maybe in a couple of weeks you'd hear about it in the newspaper.

But we're now immediately bombarded with information from around the globe. Well, it's not just the immediate... news it's just news isn't censored like it used to be like world war ii is thought of as a good war because it was heavily censored everything that you were allowed to learn about the war was approved yeah but now it's i mean with social media it's pretty much anyone can say whatever they want and it's really scary because well every asshole has an opinion every got this show every asshole can publish their article online and you know, it's like, it's disturbing how many people think like Huffington post is news or, you know, it's like, it's not, it's not news. I mean, it might be, it might be like a small amount of information, but it's not fact checked.

It does. It's not, it has no weight. It's not valid. You know, like, I think it's, I think it is the amount of information though. I think, and that's what I've questioned in the last couple of years is like, I don't know that the human mind is equipped to handle that much stuff that is now being thrown at us.

And maybe that is what is taking its toll on it is that we're losing our ability to remember things or like we can't focus on anything for any amount of time. Like it may little by little be really doing damages that we don't even realize in the moment. But if you look ahead 20, 30 years and see what our brains and our society has turned into. Yeah. It might be very different.

It's going to be an interesting ride in this new world. I mean, there's always a push and a pull to everything, you know? So, I mean, we can get so burned out on technology in 10 years, like everyone's back to watching fucking marionette shows instead of television. Who knows? Hey, I'm working on mine right now.

I know. But you never, everyone just assumes that there's like an onward trajectory of of civilization. Like we start at one point and we're going to like continuously advance technologically and socially. And that's not always the case. Sometimes there's a collapse in the middle and it will take a couple hundred years to rebuild.

Sometimes there's a collapse. And then sometimes people are just like, I don't, this isn't just, I'm not saying that, you know, technology is going to phase itself out. I don't think that's likely. But I. Mean, if you think about, the way we eat, you know, the way we process food and things like that.

No, but I mean, we were, we thought we'd solved hunger. We thought we'd solved like, I don't know. I mean, now you can. All the world's problems. Instead, we opened up this new Pandora's box of like how to destroy humans so much faster and more efficiently than before.

So, I mean, I think people realize that things are really bad. sometimes and then they reroute or find a different way to get the same like solution i don't know i don't really know what i'm trying to say i'm just rambling on. That cheery note let's take a break. See the houses. Look at the trees swaying In the cool breeze. Oh, what a lovely street.

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It's outrageous. It's John Waters' Desperate Living, starring Hollywood sex goddess Liz Renee. Oh, that support feels heavenly. Susan Lo as androgynous Mole McHenry. If you don't.

Give me a sex change, I'll cut off your Peter and throw it on me myself. And Mink Stoll as hysterical outpatient Peggy Gravel. Get out of here, you stinking piece of flesh. Yes, they've all had a lot of desperate living. Find him, feel him, fuck him, forget him.

Is that your new motto? I'm a man, Muffy. A man trapped in a woman's body. Follow the dead end road to Mortville, USA. Around you, it's a village of idiots.

Caesar and fucker! Mortville, the bad taste town. Dinner's served. I'm really not that hungry. Are you infectious, honey?

I don't know. Must a lot of it taste funny. Staring to the world, too desperate to play by the rules. It isn't very pretty what a town without pity can do. Desperate Living, featuring Edith Massey, the egg lady, as Queen Carlotta.

Hi, stupid! Hi, ugly! Don't miss this rabid feast of cinema decadence from the creator of Pink Flamingos, John Waters' Desperate Living. It isn't very pretty. Coming soon from Saliva Films.

All right. Well, I did watch a few things last week. One is a little different, and then we've got sort of a double feature unofficially. The first one was a documentary called The Internet's Own Boy. Have you heard about this?

No. It's really interesting. This kid's super genius and was figuring out the internet a decade before most people. Oh, so before Al Gore invented it. Yeah, they have the inventor of the internet in this movie.

It's not Al Gore. I never thought that it was. Yeah, neither did I. But I do like that they actually do publicly, like, look, here's the actual guy who really invented the internet. And, like, at that point, they were, like, several people trying to do something similar in these different little pockets.

And he's like, no, you can't have it be a sectioned little thing. Like, if it's going to work, it has to be the worldwide. Like, he's the one telling them, no, everything has to work together or the whole thing's going to fall apart. So that guy's pretty awesome that he's worked in there, too. But, like, even he saw how, like, impressive this kid was.

Like he was inventing Wikipedia for his friends, like before, you know, years before it actually got made. Like he came up with the concept and had a running version of it beforehand. So this kid's super smart anyway. So you see him as like a boy genius, more or less coming up in the world and the different stuff he starts designing and the things that he starts doing. And then he starts doing some things that kind of piss people off.

It's arguable how right and wrong they are. But then the people he's doing it to are also kind of wrong. And then the government gets involved. And so it will probably infuriate people for one reason or another. But it's pretty well put together.

I think by the end, it slows down massively. And we come to a very specific conclusion. But I still feel like we don't know why he did, especially towards the end, why he does what he does. And I feel like it would have been more useful to kind of figure out or somebody along the way to try to figure out what was going on towards the end there. But regardless, it's really interesting who he was and what he was able to do.

I'm looking at pictures of Jennifer Lawrence as Joy, the inventor of the Miracle Mop and the twisty turban. Does it tell how she had a meltdown? Jennifer Lawrence had a meltdown. On the set. Because her old pal was yelling at her again from what some sources say.

It's not easy being a single mom, J-Law. But yeah, supposedly she and David O. Russell got in a yelling match, which that's not unusual from what we hear. But somehow everybody still ends up loving him in the long run. Well, maybe not George Clooney, but a lot of the other people have come around and are still like actually friends with him and like working with him again.

So. He's a strange one, that David O. Russell. I'm not sure what his filmmaking technique is exactly. You know, I just want there to be a really important movie made about my life one day.

That's all I want. Who are you casting? I don't know. I mean, it could be posthumously, because I don't really care about being famous, but it would be really cool if someone made a movie about my life. I can't wait until they get that scene where your friends are hiding in the bushes.

I know, right? Maybe it will involve time travel. Cause that was the rest of the stuff I watched. There was, and I didn't really realize it. I just sort of went, Oh, I want to see this.

And I heard this was pretty good. And I got home and was like, Oh, these are like massive time travel movies. So, um, the first one actually, David on the show a month or two ago was going on about, um, how good a lot of the DC animated stuff was. And that even the ones I'd seen are really good. And, really well written and not at all for kids, especially since a lot of them are rated PG 13 now.

So like, they're definitely trying to go a different way. And this was the, I think technically it's under the justice league banner more or less, but it's the flashpoint paradox. It's really well done. Like it does a whole, like basically you kind of see flash at the beginning and then sort of post credits, he wakes up and like the whole world is different. And, people are there that weren't there and people are gone or don't know him that he used to be friends with.

And like, everything is different. And especially all the superheroes that we know in this world are massively different. Some of which are now like, if you start to see an alternate universe where, okay, what if you had that much power, but you weren't such a good guy? Like what if you decided to, I don't know, try to take over the world and just like, so then you've got a couple of them sort of warring with each other to, world domination like when you have that much power you can see how easily it would be corrupted and you just become an evil dictator like most other people with power in the world so that's really interesting we also get a different take on Batman that's really well done like everything about it is just massively well written all the animation looks great acting is good so it's like everything involved is pretty.

Cool So do you think Joy Mangano, or however you pronounce her last name, invented the whole gobble hanger? Or do you think she just, like, marketed it under her name? Is this the twisty mop lady? Yeah, well, she also has, like, the roly-poly jewelry organizer thing, and. I don't really know this weird woman.

She's, like, a whole line of stuff at Target. She, like, is huge on the Home Shopping Network. I mean. I've gladly not been one. She did....

She did something else that was, like, really, really popular. I don't remember what it was. It's like pre. I. Don't know.

So anyway, I have good things to say about Flashpoint Paradox. Followed by Predestination, which just recently, again, I don't know how much of a theatrical run it had. It definitely hit Blu-ray recently. I just heard good things about the plot. It's actually like a Robert Heinlein short story.

Again, I had to go back and check because I felt like the stuff that they're working in is so now, you know, is so like kind of falls right into what certain people are dealing with today. So it's really weird that all that stuff really was in the original short story and it was published in 1959. And there's a lot of, and again, I almost don't want to spoil any of it because I think this thing is really well put together, but it all kind of, it's better that it all kind of unfolds as you're watching it. So it's, um, Yeah, it's pretty impressive to know that it was actually in the original short story and all this weird stuff that seems like maybe they pulled it in just to be topical is not the case.

It's all in the original short story. And it's also one of those, you know, how time travel movies like at some point you're like, OK, no, the universe would have just collapsed upon itself at this point. Like it gets a couple of layers in of craziness and like you're like, I don't know. This is all this is all just going to implode the universe. This one takes that a couple extra notches.

Like, there's a few things that happen that I have never seen happen in any other science fiction movie. And I've seen a lot of weird time travel movies, but this one takes it to a new level. And I'm impressed with how well it seems to have all the threads poked into the board there so that it actually does sort of work in the end when you want to be a super geek and you go back and go, but wait, in this... No? No?

Okay, it all kind of... Again, it's very well structured, I'm assuming, in the original short story and in this version of it. It was the two brothers that did the Daybreakers that put it together. It looks great. It's really well done.

It's got Ethan Hawke in it. It's got Sarah Snook, who I wasn't all that familiar with, but is really good in it. Again, it's not going to be for everyone, so I don't know. It's a slow build to it. It's a lot of, like, Sort of telling the story, which some people may not get into.

And it's got another little aspect in the middle that may be a turn off for people. I don't care. I think it's really well put together. So, Predestination. That's my other time travel pick for the week.

Interesting. Definitely worth seeing. Watch zero movies about time travel. You're doing it wrong. The only thing I ever watch, like I said, Broad City.

And sometimes I watch Han. Also, we convinced my niece, who just turned five, that she's, like, really obsessed with the show Haunting. It's gotten so bad. I like that she's fallen right in with the creepy ways of you and everyone you know, basically. Yeah, of course.

Why would we want anything to do with her if she didn't? Well, that's true. Yeah. But we convinced her that Broad City was just a new episode of a haunting. Okay.

Now you're messing with this poor child. Which is like, I don't really know that she should have watched Broad City anyway. And maybe she didn't really. She kind of like wandered off. But she was like, I want to watch a haunting.

And we're like, this is a haunting. She's like, it doesn't look like a haunting. We're like, it's a new episode. And she's like, okay. And she's like way smarter than that.

I don't know why she fell for it. I guess she was tired. She was just tired of putting up with you people. All right. Well, if nothing else, we do want to say thank you to Days of the Dead and the people at Culture Shock.

Once again, they have put together a really good festival. We were discussing earlier how well they sort of had a handle on things and seemed like they knew what was going on. And I kept answering my questions when I was like, what room is John in? And what time does that start? So they put up with my questions and people actually knew the answer.

So these were these are good things. So once again, they've run a nice operation here. So for more on the What they have coming up, which actually there is a regular Days of the Dead coming up later this year in this city we're in right now, plus about three other cities at least. So go to daysofthedead.net and find out what cities they will be in and just who will be at that event. It might be somebody awesome like John Waters, if you're lucky, like we were and got to hang out with him today.

I wish I had a place to put all these cards, like other than inside a box. Like I should put them in a frame or something. This is a classy joint you live in. I know. With your tops and salt of cards from the 1990s.

Well, it's really weird because, like, I made my living room look all, like, fancy and stuff recently. And then I was like, God, what am I going to do with all these, like, Bob's Burgers and Garbage Pail Kid comics? I hate crap comics that are, like, on the... on the coffee table like where am I going to put these. Will fit in perfectly with your sign John Waters head poster that you just got classy. Join hey my house is classy it actually like it's weird because for as colorful as I am my house is very neutral like like a gay anthropologist could live.

There well we're now taking applications if you fit the bill I would like to move into Marlena's home. Actually, I already have a wayward boy living in my house, but there was, like, another friend who also needed a job, which I live very close to work, so it's, like, convenient for coworkers to, like, stay at my house. So, like, you know, like, my roommate is my friend, and he works with me and also obviously lives with me, hence the roommate status. But another friend needs a job, and he lives in, like, this weird squat house with some, like, prostitute. And I'm like, hey, I've got a fold-out couch.

And another friend was like, what are you, like a home for wayward boys? Kind of, I was just thinking. Marlena's home for wayward boys. Kind of. Well, I mean, as soon as you start pimping them out, you got this all going.

I know, right? Madame Marlena's got a nice ring to you. No one would want to pay money for these boys. Well, that's a matter of opinion, I suppose. If they did, they wouldn't be wayward.

I'm still trying to figure out what this prostitute he lives with. It's the going rate on this show. I don't know, but he described his house like it's like the house in Fight Club. Speaking of classy joints. Yeah.

That's the way to go. Yep. They're also going to start some sort of weird anarchy movement. She's not, I don't think she's an actual prostitute. Oh, never mind then.

I hate when you have like a popcorn kernel stuck in your throat, but it only happens like. 20 minutes after you stop eating popcorn. The magic of popcorn. It's like, where did it even come from? Mysteries of the universe.

God. Yeah, I think we're going to have to go inside so I can get something to drink. That's the plan. Marley is dying. I think we're going to go back inside, so maybe we'll check in with you later.

Hello, I'm John Waters, and I'm supposed to announce there is no smoking in this theater, which I think is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard of in my life. How can anyone sit through a length of a film, and especially a European film, and not have a cigarette? But don't you wish you had one right now? Mm, mm, mm, mm. And I'm telling you, that smoke anyway.

It gives ushers jobs. And if people didn't smoke, there would be no employment for the youth of today. So once again, no smoking in this theater. Want some music for your ears? Doo-Wop Shop makes it easy to rent for any event, business meeting, or special occasion.

From PA systems to karaoke machines to just about anything that makes noise, you can rent it from the Doo-Wop Shop. In Louisville, find them either at their Highland store at 1587 Bardstown Road or in the East End at 2915 South Hurstburn Parkway. And look for them online at DooWopShop.com. Doo-Wop Shop. We're serious about music.

Doo-Wop Shop. Hi, my name's Jennifer Lawrence. And you're listening to Movie Meltdown. What's part of your problem? You know, you haven't seen enough movies.

All of life's riddles are answered. In the movies. And now, on with the show. On with the show. Jim Danny to the rescue Jim Danny to the rescue Jim Danny to the rescue Go Jim Danny Go Jim Danny Jim Danny on a mountain top 30,000 feet.

Strong Spider lady on a runaway horse Aha, that's right of course Jim Danny to the rescue Go Jim. Danny Alright, and we're back. Yep, we're back. There's a blizzard happening. We left the convention and a blizzard had happened in like the hour and a half since we've been outside.

The roads are bad. We're driving. Might be the last transmission from us ever because we're probably going to die. How very Blair Witch of you. I feel like I've just been really inspired by Adult Wednesday Addams lately.

When is your web series going to start? That's just not going to happen. I think we all know that. I'm not really good at doing things artistically that I say that I'm going to do. Slacker.

No, I'm just really busy. I really don't think we should try to record and drive. Like, this is just, I mean, it's bad. It's going to require full concentration. On your part.

You just tell them about John Waters. John Waters was really funny as usual. He talked about all the movies that he's done for the most part briefly. It was great. He had like little stories and things like that.

I think my favorite thing that he said tonight though was I went to court over the right to show Bush and now no one even has it anymore. Which is true. And you can blame Sex and the City for that. I blame him for most things. No, it's true.

After there was like an episode where one of them talked about a Brazilian wax or something like that. And then it just kind of became like the standard. I once had to study pubic hair in a class that I took. We watched a bunch of videos. They're mostly like stand-up comedy videos.

So that's where we're going. They're teaching people stand-up comedy as like education. We're learning from Larry the Cable Guy now. No, my professor actually had really good taste. Basically, it was the best class ever created.

We would talk about, like, butt plugs and watch Adam Ant videos all day. And it was very educational. I learned a lot. I got, like, an A + + in that class, actually. I got the best grade in the class.

Which Adam Ant videos were you watching? I just don't remember that. Was he on 120 Minutes? I don't know. He might not have been progressive enough.

We watched Goody Two-Shoes. We also watched clips of, like, Faster Pussycat Kill Kill. And also he played like a bunch of clips of things that kind of copied off of that, like the Spice Girls video and like something else. Oh, I think it was like a Killers video or something like that. And he's like, what do these have in common?

And I was like, they kind of ripped off Russ Meyer. And he was like so impressed with me for like knowing that, that I think if he wasn't married, he would have proposed to me like on the spot, which is fine because I love that man. I've also recently discovered there's a weird Asian movie that is totally, like, they're just doing it again. Like, they've done their own total ripoff version with, like, three girls driving around Japan in a sports car or whatever. I'm not even sure what country it's from, actually.

But it's just a complete and utter Faster Pussycat ripoff. I'm definitely going to watch it. That's all I'm saying. I've had two great moments in my life. The first moment is when I ran into Jared Leto. outside of a Whole Foods, and he looked at me and hung his head in shame because in that moment I was cooler than he was and he knew it.

The second greatest moment of my life is when Tara Satanis said that my personal rendition of her in Faster Pussycat Kill Kill was, how did she, what did she say? Did she say awesome? She said awesome. Something like that. Yeah.

Two greatest moments of my life. Not greatest moments of my life, but two highest achievements of my life. I don't know. Leto has an Oscar now. I know.

That's what makes it even better, because now he's, like, re-famous. He never really stopped being famous, but he was in kind of a lull. I mean, he was in town because he was playing at, like, Expo 5 or something like that with his shitty band. But, yeah, he knew that I was cooler than he was. Like, he no shit hung his head in shame.

And sighed. And just, like, went. And. Why was this? He was waiting for his, like, chauffeur to pick him up.

And this, like, fat guy in, like, an ICP t-shirt got out of a 1998 Dodge Intrepid. And opened the back door for him and said, Your car, Mr. Alito. And he just, like, turned around and looked at me. And was, like, really embarrassed.

And hung his head and sighed. And was like... And then he just got into the Intrepid and rode off into the sunset. I'll never forget that for as long as I live. Also, like, I didn't try to talk to him at all.

I recognized him. He knew that I recognized him. But I wasn't like, oh, my God, Jared Leto. Because everyone in Whole Foods, not everyone in Whole Foods, like half the people in there didn't know who he was. But, like, a few ladies did.

And they're like, Jordan Catalano. And they, like, peed their pants. But I did not. I did not do that. I mean, that is what I would have exclaimed, actually.

Like, it's Jordan Catalano. Dude, are you buying those alfalfa sprouts? I don't know. I just, I wonder if he remembers that. I wonder if he thinks about that a lot.

I always, like, all these, like, insignificant things that have happened in my life. I mean, they're not insignificant to me, obviously. But, like, I know they'd be, like, insignificant to celebrities. Like, the last time we saw John Waters and I had, like, really terrible pneumonia. I'm just like, what if he hates Louisville now because of me and my, like, coughing fit.

My embarrassing coughing fit. I just worry about those things. Like. Oh, I thought it's really funny that John Waters mentioned Night of the Lepus. Because it's like, that's such a random, obscure movie.

But, of course, we covered it. And then.... You know, I told you guys that my grandpa actually built the set for it. My grandpa and also my cousins, like my aunt's ex-husband and her baby daddy. So, yeah.

Really weird. Which is also odd because he mentioned airport, which I was watching last night. We were playing that at the video store. Of all things, airport. I thought that was an odd reference, too.

It's like John Waters is in our brain. I know he's in mine a lot. Sometimes, okay, I don't know, does everybody do this? Like, sometimes my conscience has, like, John Waters' voice. That might just be you.

It's not always. It's just, like, in situations where it's, like, applicable, you know? Like. The other day when I was at the store, one of the people asked me how I was doing. She's like, do you need any help?

And I'm like, no thanks. And I didn't say it to her because I would have been too embarrassed. But as she walked away, I'm like, I'm just bi-curious. Like B-U-I, not like B-I. And I thought that was so hilarious because in my mind, I said it in a John Waters voice.

In my mind, it was John Waters living through me. Which I don't think he would say anything like that dumb and like punny in the first place. But like his humor is on another level. But in my mind that was like, I mean, just something like a thin pencil mustache creep person would say. And I was like really proud of myself because it was totally hilarious.

Also, it was probably the way I drew out like, bye, curious. We've, I mean... Actually, like, my friends and I have just been on a roll with that lately. Like, not even, like, my friend Kristen doesn't even under, I don't think she knows who John Waters is at all, which is weird that I'm friends with her. But, like, we were having dinner, and I told her I spent a lot of money on tights this month.

She's like, it's because you're on a tight budget. She, like, witch-gackled, did this, like, dance and clicked her heels, and it was, like, so weird. But it was amazing. Wait, you're friends with Broomhilda now? Yeah, some would argue that she is Brunhilde.

I don't know. Wow, the snow is really bad. I feel like I'm traveling through space. Well, I just have to say, and we were having this discussion as we were sitting there, because there was some other guy doing, I guess we'll call it stand-up. No offense to him.

But it's just funny how well people develop their sense of delivery and style, because that guy was still He's pretty rough. But, like, to follow that up with John Waters, who's just been, like, this character, this persona for so long that he just, like... Because it's not, like... He wasn't doing jokes so much. He was just telling stories.

But he did have a very specific structure to the point he even got off track at one point, but then, like, dropped right back into it. So it's, like, he had a basic setup of what he was doing, but, like, it was never forced. He's just so... natural in the way that he delivers his stories and all his like his fun little like cause he's got some pretty good again not really jokes but like he's come up with some very witty parts that he's added into these stories and like the way that he does this stuff I don't know we've seen him twice now and he's like he's just so impressive at the way that he lays out his performance. Yeah the guy before him it just made me realize like You can't force comedy. You can't force it.

You can't just write a funny joke and then be funny. That's not how it works. I don't know. But John Waters is just a good storyteller more than anything. He just has funny stories.

Also, that sound in the background is not me farting. It's the windshield wipers. I just realized that really does sound like farts. John Waters is just a good storyteller. His delivery is perfect.

It's almost like he's really good at making it sound like he's talking specifically to you. It's not just like, one thing I hate is when, and I mean, again, John Waters is what he does is not stand up, but like when stand up, people are like, Hey, do I have anybody in the crowd that loves peanut butter? You know? And it's just like, fuck off, dude. I really, that's where you're going with this.

Like kill yourself. I don't know. I don't feel that harshly about it, but you know what I mean? Well, and he, Like, even that guy had some really rough transitions. And, like, to me, that's a big sign of, like, somebody still kind of finding their legs as a comedian.

Like, just being able to just flow from one story to the other and have it seem like you are just having a conversation with the person. And that guy was just like, yeah, so anyway, I'm dating this girl. And, like, it's still really, like, segments jammed together where you don't get that with somebody who knows how to tell a story. Yeah. I mean. also like I don't know if you do it right like I don't even think transitions are that important because like the way my brain works it's just non-sequitur thoughts you know like talking about one thing now I'm talking about something else because like in my mind it connected to it but it's not always like verbalized it's not always like I don't always say like oh let me tell you this story about my cat which reminds me of my friend Brittany who this one time Went to the mall.

I don't have a friend named Brittany, but you know what I mean? Like, I'm connecting the dots in my head and I'm not telling people that they're connected. But then, like, that's part of what's funny when I tell stories, you know? Because it's just, like, I jump from one... I mean, I don't...

I think... I like to think that it's funny and endearing. Most people probably find it annoying. No one's ever told me to my face. Hopefully they don't because I don't care.

I'm not going to change. But. I don't know. I just feel like the first guy was imitating other people's thing and he was just not very good at it. He was just following what he thinks that funny comedians do.

It was bad. It's bad news bears. It's definitely a blueprint of here's what a comedy set is like and he didn't really know how to do it. But John did and John's awesome so... If you ever get the chance to go see him live and do one of his spoken word performances or comedy or whatever we're calling that thing that he does, it's awesome.

So thank you for him for coming out and doing it for us. And thank you to Days of the Dead for bringing them out because they're awesome. Go to daysofthedead.net to see what they've got coming up in several cities around the country and tell them you heard about them on Movie Meltdown. Anything else you need to tell people? No.

No, I would like to wrap it up because people are breaking and it's making me very nervous. Okay, bye. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next time. Same Geek Feed.

Thanks for listening. Do it right! Do it right! Do it right! Do it right!

Bend over, let me. See you shake a tail feather. Bend over, let me see you shake a tail feather. Bend over, let me see you shake a tail feather. Here we go loopy loop.

Shake it up, baby. Here we go loop the life. And oh, let me see you shake a tail, brother. And oh, let me see you shake a tail, brother. Come on, baby.

Come on. Come on, baby. Come on. Come on, baby. Come on.

Come on, baby. This card here says, let me tell you about your face. Right. Actually, it says dad. Here's a heartfelt wish from all of us.

Please stop clipping your toenails at the dinner table. This is a scratch and sniff. I learned my lesson with these scratch and sniff cards. Not doing it. Not falling for that, Tops.

You're easily suckered in. You'll be scratching them at home, don't lie. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by the Auditude Studios, with opening music performed by the Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!