WonderProm

Hey, this is Tiffany, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. It's showtime. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power.

We provide more cooling in the containment chamber. To your stations, we have a rebound. Given the right look, the right boyfriend, any girl can be this year's prom queen. Horrible TV right there on my TV Horrible TV right there on my TV Shocking me right out of my brain Shocking me right out of my brain Watch Horrible TV right there on my TV Horrible TV right there on my. TV What's up?

Welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian. I'm Misty. And we're coming to you live via digital recording from the outskirts of Wonderfest. Wonderfest.

Wonderfest. You're back. Again. Again. Not in the bowling alley parking lot this time because apparently that is no longer an option.

What's up with that, man? I remember last year they moved stuff around and changed things inside and it was confusing. But this year, I almost pulled in that parking lot. And then there's like Big concrete barricades in the way. I'm like, dudes, what are you doing?

This is where I park every year. I think they're called Jersey barricades. Does Jersey approve of that? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that's what they're called. Looks like a big piece of concrete to me.

Yeah, I don't like it. All I know is they're changing things in the world. And it's confusing. I don't like change. That's not how the world works in my broken little brain.

I don't like it. But either way, Wonderfest, we are back. And awesome as always. Models? Mini models?

Lots of models. Monsters? Lots of kaiju? Not little cute ones? No.

We were looking for them last year. I don't know. They've cut back on the little cute ones for some reason. Yeah, more models, less cute import stuff. I think because it's easier to get that stuff.

I think that was our theory last year, too. Because now you can Teemu all your shit. Yeah. When we used to do this, you know, 20 years ago, it was like, nobody had that kind of stuff. But now, I feel like, You can eBay anything you want and get it from around the world.

And I'm waiting for a shipment right now. Which, by the way, they don't ship things the same out in the world. They take their time. I blame Germany. Because every time something goes to Germany or is coming from Germany, because the good shit you get from Germany, as I found out, all the contraband that I'm ordering is coming from Germany.

And it goes there and they go, oh, it's boxed up. Here's your number. Did you get one of those German mail order brides? Okay, I've seen one lately that I'm considering. Okay.

And she talks about being German a lot. Anyway, I'll show you her videos later. But they get there and they're like, okay, it's here. It's going to be shipped. And then it sits for like a week.

And then the next time they're like, hey, it's backed up and going somewhere. It's a week later. Like, guys, do you not know how mail works? You're supposed to get stuff to me as soon as possible. I want to play with my toys.

Yeah. They're slow is what I'm saying. I want my toys faster. I got free little monsters. That was pretty exciting.

You did get free monsters. We always like monsters. I like free things. Free things is always cool. Free things are my favorite things.

You got a pen. I got a pen and another pen and a sticker and a drink coaster and a fridge magnet. If you knew what Space 1999 was, you'd be super excited. Model Base Alpha. I don't fucking know.

They got a YouTube channel. I do know what it is, but as I told you in there, I was like, I didn't watch it. I just had a hand-me-down toy or a toy that somebody threw in the trash or I got it at a yard sale. I don't know what it was, but that big white ship that's the only thing most dorks probably know about that show. There's a big white ship.

It had all these beams and shit on it. It's a very distinct looking ship, so I'll give them credit. The ship was cool. That's all I remember about the show. I never watched it, but I like free shit, so.

Free shit's always cool. I know. That's why I miss going to the health fair. I would get so much free shit. I'm pretty sure this post-it that I took all my Fear Street notes on came from a health fair.

I asked you when we set this up. I was like, so are we working around a fair of some sort? Men's fair, women's fair, health fair. They changed what kind of hospital it was. They changed it from like Norton's to Baptist or vice versa or whatever.

And the new one doesn't care about health fairs. So we don't have health fairs anymore. They don't care about your health is what we're learning. It's not fair. Jerks.

Alright, I'm going to run out of post-its and pens that don't work. And they don't sell that stuff. You can only get them free. I know. That's how I get things.

That's why I'm excited to have a new pen from Space 1999. Model Base Alpha. Thanks for the free pen. I need a post-it next time. Next year.

You have to not write anything until next year and then you can get some post-its. I wonder who invented those. Janine Garofalo. That's my vote. I thought it was Mira Sorvino.

Yeah, but Janine actually knew who it was because she's smart. I don't know. It's been a long time since I watched that movie. That movie is awesome though, I gotta say. And who doesn't love some Lisa Kudrow?

When I was young, like young, young, people used to tell me I looked like Lisa Kudrow and I never saw it. There's no downside to that though. Lisa Kudrow. I saw her the other day. Actually, she's on that dumb commercial and it's her and Kourtney and I'm just like, ugh, Kourtney.

Ooh, Lisa. Lisa still looks good. Courtney looks like she ducked her the hell out of herself. But did she get rid of those bangs? Let's hope so.

At least even she makes fun of the bangs. So she's aware of how bad those bangs were. Those bangs were fucking awful. In the movie, she makes fun of those bangs. So at least in universe and in our universe, those bangs are terrible.

The worst. But Lisa, super cute. So we looked at toys and all. Who cares? More importantly, we need to get to, have you watched anything?

Normally I get stuck with horror, but this time I figured we're not getting to the horror until the second half of this. So we can talk about whatever crap we've seen. I don't know if you've seen anything, but I have watched some stuff that wasn't horror for once. I watched two things and a show. I watched two movies.

I think. Yes, I did. Do you know what they are? I wrote it down. On my note, because I never take fucking notes, but the Fear Street movie made me take notes.

You are that committed. Godzilla, minus one, plus one. Extra one. Whatever has fucking math in it. More importantly, was it in color?

Yeah. Because there's also a super deluxe black and white version. Well, I figure since we had the Netflix anyways, because again, Fear Street. Fear Street. Had to get it just so you could be angry.

Yeah, dude. But I figure, why as well watch all the shit that's on Netflix before I cancel it, because it's only got it for this. Might as well. That's what at least two of my watchings came from was from the Netflix because of Fear Street. So yeah, we watched the new...

Is it really the new Godzilla movie anymore? I mean, it was a year or so ago. I'm like way behind. Again, the other one came out at the same time and it was not in the same universe. That's what I was saying though.

Adam Wingar wins. I have no idea who that is. He's the director and I love that he gets to make those. I said it on a recent episode. I was like, dude, it's the super big budget wins.

It's the studio wins. It's the... The ones that made the bad Godzilla reboot in America several years ago. The one with Matthew Broderick? No, not that one.

That was bad. The one after that one. I don't remember that one. That had that dude from Quicksilver, dude. Aaron.

Aaron Taylor Joy. I don't think that's him. That's the chick. But he's kind of like. Aaron Taylor Joy.

Aaron Taylor Johnson. Same difference. Aaron Johnson Taylor. He's not near as hot, but he's kind of hot. I don't know.

Craven-wise, he's all ripped these days. How did Kick-Ass actually become. Actual kick ass. So yeah, the first one of those had him in it. And then every movie they keep resetting and putting new people in it because the people don't matter.

And that's what I'm trying to explain to Adam Wingard and he's not listening when I'm talking to his movie. I'm like, quit showing me people talking and get the monsters fighting. And then luckily he gets the monsters fighting and it's awesome. The one with Godzilla and King Kong? Yes.

The last two. The ones that he's done both have Kong and Godzilla. I haven't seen either one. And sometimes they're versing. sometimes they're friends and now they're friends and they it's. It's it's i'm that way with people i work with exactly.

But it's ridiculous but i'm like it's you get to make a godzilla movie it's like they gave you millions of dollars to play with godzilla and king kong toys dude you are you are super cool for getting to do that so i don't think those movies are good but they're fun when they stop talking and they show monsters and it's ridiculous and I'm glad that he gets to make them but the alternate version was the Toho got to make the real version which is the one you watched and I think it's awesome. At least we watched the one that didn't have subtitles we watched the one where they did dubbing Which Boyfriend said he preferred the one that had like the actual... He would. He likes reading. But then I'm like, you're going to miss something because...

That's what I always say. I know it makes me sound like an illiterate American because I'm an illiterate American. But the movie I'm going to talk about later, I specifically was checking beforehand to see if it was dubbed because then I wanted to watch it. Because it looked cool, but I was like, do I feel like reading? Never.

Never. And I do feel like, again, as a movie geek, like I'm watching the screen. I want to watch the movie. If I'm reading shit down here, I ain't seeing what's going on up there. I like reading.

I just don't want to do both at the same time. Yeah, you're book reading, but that's different than trying to watch a screen and read at the same time. Because you get two things, and I'm not a good multitasker. Yeah, sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not. But if I actually want to see what's going on, then reading's not the thing for me.

Again, I want to focus. I want to immerse myself in the goings-on on the screen, and I can't do that when I'm busy trying to Run my finger along the bottom. What's that say? Trying to keep up because my reading skills ain't so good. I'm good at reading.

I know the big words. But still. I got us down the mountain. By then they moved on to the next ones. I was just confused.

Because I don't know a lot of. I've never seen. Aside from like the shitty Matthew Broderick Godzilla from many, many years ago. I mean. I don't think I've actually seen an entire Godzilla movie.

That one doesn't really tie into anything else. No, I'm just saying. I don't know anything canon wise. I'm like, why the fuck is Godzilla just floating in the water? Because radiation i blame america we nuked people and then messed up their whole shit and then godzilla was born.

So it's the fact that he just would float upright like i'm like is he standing on something what's godzilla doing is he like is what's why is he got like little like skis. Under there i don't know his ankles he's godzilla he can. Do I'm like, the water's deep. How does he just float? I don't understand.

Because he's Godzilla. Okay, that's what I had my boyfriend try to explain it to. Me, too. I like that Jay gets it. He's just like, yeah, it's Godzilla.

He can float. He can do whatever he wants. He's Godzilla. I'm like, is that canon? Is it like the Godzilla mythos so that he can just float?

It's canon that Godzilla does what Godzilla wants. Sometimes he has a baby. You need to go back and see some Godzuki action. I don't know about that. But he's adorable.

Is he? It's ridiculous, but it's adorable. Is it the cute one? I've seen two different baby Godzilla. It's the cute one in the bowl of smoke rings.

It's adorable. Oh, come on. You know you want to see that one. I don't know. The movie's ridiculous, but they continued.

It goes through stages. There's different areas of Godzilla, literally, and some of them are more serious. Some of them are extra silly. I feel like you can't go wrong either way. Even when they take themselves seriously, it's fun, but when it's just WWE in big costumes, it's also pretty awesome.

Because there's definitely, I think it's the megalon that they get, like they hold one guy down while the other one jumps in and hits him with an elbow. It's a total wrestling move. I'm like, it's the funniest thing ever. Does one of them have a giant chair at some point? You might as well.

They pick up a mountain. I mean, they do pick up trees and hit each other with them, so it's pretty much the same thing. I want a giant building-sized folding chair. It's pro wrestling rules, man. That's how kaiju works. so yeah they're always fun come on now that.

Was pretty good what else did I watch should I stick with what we watched on Netflix or the other movie that we watched first whatever you want since we had the Netflix I figured I'd get caught up on things that I had not yet watched on the Netflix don't know why I keep saying it so much you can censor it out if you want I mean as long as they send us a check they're not going to I assume everyone will. Send me a check eventually keep waiting It's funny how I'm not getting those checks. Here's five bucks. Don't ever mention our name again. Yeah, really?

I'll take that at this point. Midnight Mass. I think I'm the last person in the world to have watched Midnight Mass. I don't think I've seen it, so you must not be. It's a TV show.

It's another one of those Mike Flanagan's shows. I like him. I just don't get around to most of his because he keeps doing really long series and stuff. This is only seven episodes. I know, but that's a lot.

I'm trying to get through Like, usually I have to pick, like, one show and try to get through it. And then when I finish that one, I got to figure out what's the next thing. So, I just started another one semi-recently. So, I'll get to it eventually, maybe, if I'm lucky. How's it go?

Let's got vampires that aren't ever referred to as vampires. Sometimes, for legal reasons, they have to refer to them as something else. They're referred to as, well, because it's a religious thing, hence mass. Gross. I know, right?

Religion. Oh, but this guy, and he goes off, and he's an old guy, and he goes to do the pilgrimage to the Holy Land, and then there's a cave, and then an angel attacks him. It's a fucking vampire, dude. It's a vampire. Is this like Dracula 2000?

Is this like a Judas Angel? I don't know. I didn't see that. You probably did, and you blocked it out, because it's not good. It's fucking tall.

There's no hair on it. It's just a skin creature with giant... Obviously vampire wings. Where you're getting the imagination to call this a fucking angel. I guess because when it attacked him there was like the light made like a halo around his head.

He's an angel straight from heaven. Oh my god. He's a fucking vampire. Anyways, so he's got his church and it's a whole thing and then there's miracles that are happening and I don't know. Which the biggest miracle that I would have been happy for was this one chick was pregnant.

But apparently when she drank the blood, it made her not pregnant. And I was just like, that's a good trick. Wait a minute. The day after vampire? Exactly.

I'll take it. The plan B. The plan B vampire. Plan B vampire. Thank you.

That's the morning after plan. Going to go get bit by a vampire. I'll be back in an hour. So if you want to get breakfast, hang around. He was just putting the blood in the communion one.

Oh, man. So they were just, I'll tell everybody what's getting. Whatever works. Yeah. I keep trying to tell people to stop having children.

Yeah, I do too. They don't listen. I know. What the fuck? I keep having babies.

On purpose. Ugh. But yeah, it was good. I liked it. Yeah.

Two thumbs up. I can switch up. I don't normally... Again, I normally get stuck talking horror because, you know, I like horror. But I like to mix it up every once in a while.

Sometimes I'll get to be like, it's the weekend. Trying to relax. I don't need heavy right now. And I don't really... like most comedies, but I'm like, is there a comedy that looks like it doesn't suck? No.

There is. Uh-oh. I'm assuming you haven't seen. Everything's brand new, surprisingly. Usually I watch stuff that's like 35 years old, but everything I watched this last couple of weeks has been brand new.

As of 2025, The Summer of 69. Sounds familiar. It has Chloe Fineman in it. I don't know who that is. She's from SNL, which you don't watch currently.

No, I don't. So, it's past the Mike Myers years. It's of the current timeline. She's still on there right now. She's super cute.

So, it is one of those, like, I saw it and it wasn't even rated R. And I was like, based on the premise, I'm like, okay, I kind of need to see just for the... I think it's interesting when we get to these movies that are, like, based on things that are, like, in theory, if they actually happen to you in real life, this would be super dark and fucked up. But. We're going to make it a PG-13 movie and everything's going to be kind of okay for kids.

So, you know how when you hire yourself a stripper. All the time. To teach yourself how to get some action. I didn't know there was an option. Well, this girl did.

So, this girl is super nerdy. By the way, super cute. What is her name? I wrote it down. Sam Morelos.

I don't know. She was on that 90s show. I hadn't seen her before. But she's adorably dorky. So she's a high school senior, super dorky, and is like totally in love with this dude.

He's super pretty. And she's like, he's been with this girl forever. So she's never had a chance. And then they break up right at the end of senior year. She's like, oh, this is my chance.

This is my chance. Except I'm a super dork. What am I going to do? So she accidentally wanders into a strip club in the middle of the day wearing a school girl outfit. How do you accidentally wander in?

Maybe he thought she was working the stage because she was dressed in a Catholic schoolgirl type of outfit. So maybe he thought she was next on stage or something. But yeah, she just wanders in. The guy at the door wasn't doing his job. She wanders in as a high school girl and sees Chloe Fineman doing her business on stage.

And she's like, ooh, everybody's into her. She must know how to do this. So she hires her with her because she's a streamer. Because every kid Does that now and is popular and has millions of viewers and fans and backers and whatnot. I don't have these things.

I don't know. But supposedly in this fictional world, that's how things work. So she has a bunch of money that she's earned from her online gaming streaming deal. So she gives her all this money to teach her how to win this dude over. And essentially the ultimate goal, 69.

Because she's been told that's what the dude's into. So the whole thing, they keep talking about 69 the whole time. But meanwhile, again, this is the creepy story, but the tone of it is super cool and fun and like almost family friendly. Like Chloe Fineman's a stripper, but she wears a bikini the whole time. Again, they're talking about 69. but it's sort of again like everything is so almost wholesome really it's like the pretty woman scene like.

Yes she's a hooker but this is a heartwarming tale that you know it's all about true love and bullshit like that so yeah it's the milk money You. Ever had a kid go get himself a prostitute and take him to class and do a show and tell? They just make these movies every once in a while. So that was half the reason I went into this. I was like, how do they clean this up that is not R-rated and super just grimy and gross?

And it's not. It's just adorable. And it's actually pretty funny, I gotta say. I laughed out loud in the real world for real several times. Crazy talk.

So, it's a lot of fun. The girl is super dorky, and I buy that part. She is clueless. But she's adorable and she wins you over. And Chloe Fineman acts super cool.

Because she's a stripper. So she must be cool. You know how cool strippers are. I've never met a stripper. That I know of.

That you know of. I worked with one for a while. We made a lot of. I mean, I'm not judging. I'm just saying I don't...

I'm not either. I just... I remember years ago, I sort of... Again, people probably shouldn't tell these kinds of things, but... We found out her other job, like she worked where I was part-time, and then her other job was at the strip.

It was a dog. It was a bicycle with a motor and a dog in a cart that just went by. A dog was spilling the berries. That's also pretty fun. I gotta give him that.

That was cool. But yeah, so this girl was part-time where I was at, but her other job, somebody decided to spill the beans that she was a stripper, so... No judgment, but we did make a lot of pole jokes. Because at some point she injured her knee. I mean, come on.

How do we not make pole jokes when you banged your knee and now she had like a brace on it? Come on, man. It's just easy pickings. Airport. We are near the airport.

So that was one of mine. It was a comedy thing. I didn't hate the world as much because that's the thing. Sometimes I'll be scrolling through and my My usual feed is a lot of horror, and sometimes I'm like, I am already in the darkness. I don't need extra darkness.

Is there something a little more fun? A little more light? And this was both of those things, so I enjoyed it. I watched something that was funny, but I don't think it was supposed to be funny. I get a lot of that, too.

What did we watch? We watched Empire of the Dark. I think Boyfriend sent you the trailer for it, maybe? Oh, yeah. I think he sent it beforehand, and he was going to inflict it upon you that night.

He did. I was, um... I was impressed by its badness. It was awful. Yeah, it looked pretty rough.

A lot of sword fighting going on. For the former cop, sword fighting? That's what we're going with? I might have estimated the budget was $ 4. I'm not even sure it was that high.

Where did this movie come from? I have no idea. I didn't do any research into it. Well, I mean, that's the thing. Anytime I see stuff that I'm not already familiar with, because it's like I have not watched plenty of things, but I'm at least familiar.

I know the title. I know the reputation of some of these dorky things, but that one, I was just like, where the hell did this come from, and how did he find it? From 91 because it looks like it's from like 76 well that's. The thing like it looked dated when he sent me that link so i was like i should have heard of this like it looks like it's been around long enough that i would know what this garbage is but it's. Empire of the dark 1991 a private detective searching for a killer comes across a satanic cult from another dimension monsters called up from hell and murderous ninja assassins i mean that.

All sounds awesome based on what i saw not so awesome i mean that awesome but that's. The same guy wrote direct and starred in this movie why is. That always the case like the worst most ridiculous things are always like one guy that's got this idea and he's gonna make it happen regardless yeah. It was a lot it was i would i would suggest it just so you could watch this guy try to fight these bad guys wearing sweatpants and velcro shoes. Were they monsters or just guys.

They were It looks like they borrowed the costumes of the little demon-y guys from Phantasm a little bit. Alright. But then they were full-size, so you could see their shoes underneath and their pants. Why are you wearing sweatpants, monster? I'm telling you.

They were like ninjas. Ninja monster. And there was some stop-motion monsters. I did see that. Again, that'll win me over every time.

Even bad stop-motion is more awesome than most things that aren't stop-motion. So, I'll get suckered in with stop-motion. Was a lot there was just a lot going on he was a formal former police officer i guess because he then he retired and it's like apparently there was this hot chick who how she was in his league i have no idea because they are just like miles apart this guy let me tell you this guy he should not have been pulling in the hot chicks He was not. There was no. Let me guess, that's also the guy who wrote the movie.

Yes, obviously. What a surprise. I'm like, you made this movie just so you could make out with this hot chick. I mean, I feel like that's like 90% of people that made movies. If not, that's how they use it to win in the dorky actors that aren't getting any hot chicks.

They're like, look, we wrote this scene where you guys make out. And then you could tell they wanted to show this one bridge over and over again. That's where all the budget went, was this one bridge. So even after it collapsed, they kept going back and showing it again. Uncollapsed.

Production value! And boyfriend's like, it's a different bridge. I'm like, no, it's the same fucking bridge. You can see where it wobbles right there. Was this a real world bridge that fell down?

Or was this a special effect miniature? A total special effect. They were on it at some point. You need to watch. Again, me knowing the kind of crap that I watched, yes, I probably should watch this.

You should watch. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see, what was my other one? The gun kept changing.

He had a pistol, and then he had a rifle, and then a pistol, and then a rifle, and then his shirt was ripped. Not ripped, ripped, not ripped, ripped, not ripped, ripped. I'm just like, come on, continuity! So, continuity is where they spent most of their money. Their person on set that was the continuity person was on lunch most of the day.

Apparently, because I was calling. As we were watching, I'm like, ripped, not ripped, ripped, not ripped. He's like, shut up! Trying to watch this movie. It's very detailed in its plot.

Well, just today, I watched, and again, I saw it come up. I think it might have been there last week, and I went, that looks interesting. And then today, I was like, alright, I got enough time. I might be able to watch this. And then I went, wait, are they going to make me read?

And I checked it, and no. So, I then watched Demon City. Which is also on that thing that you might want to watch before you cancel it. Actually, Jay wouldn't. I don't know how much you care.

But basically, it's like you can see bits and pieces of all of things now. Maybe just because I watch so much crap that now nothing can be original because I just see other things. But I'm like, had I never seen John Wick? Or it's like, John Wick, you're thinking it's going to go a little bit crow. Instead, it leans kind of...

Raven. Well, yeah. We saw a. Model inside that was a guy in a black leathery outfit with a white painted face, and he was the Raven. He's very blatantly the Crow.

Yeah, but for legal reasons, he's the Raven. Nevermore. So, this was not so much the Raven. It leaned more towards, like, old boy. Then eventually, I'm like, this is kind of Kill Bill Volume 1.

Like, there's a whole lot of other movies mixed in this. But basically, it takes place in the Japans. All kinds of crazy shit takes place in Japan. That's what I'm saying. That's kind of what won me over.

Because I'll watch anything just for aesthetics. I love the look, the crazy shit that goes on in Japan. I'm always a sucker for just watching Japan. So this is this weird city in Japan. And this guy's a professional killer.

And he's trying to retire because he's got a wife. He's got a little daughter. He wants to spend time with them and get out of the business. So he goes on this last hit, more or less. And then goes home.

And then the new dudes that show up that are going to take over for who he just murdered are just like, OK, we're here now. Thanks for killing everybody. And we're going to kill you. So spoilers. But this is the first thing in the movie.

So I know you're shocked. The family is going to get killed and then he has to get revenge. This has never happened in an action movie before. So the wife gets fridged, as they say. Is there a dog?

No, thankfully. No pets. See, I probably wouldn't have gone there. If I would have seen a dog in the trailer, I'd be like, nope, I'm out. Just a kid.

Who cares if it's a kid? Yeah, fuck that. Yeah, kids I'm not worried about. So the wife gets offed. Kid, dude shoots her through the doorway.

And then they shoot him in the head. Movie's over, right? No. No. Because somehow it just does.

The brain's a weird thing. We don't use like 90% of it. It's fine. So it went through some stuff. And he's like basically a vegetable for 12 years.

They send him to like a military prison or whatever they said. They send him to some sort of weird hospital that he was at forever and just sort of drools on himself and sits there. Good times. And then they come to get him out because I guess he gets paroled even though he's a vegetable. I don't know how this works.

But then they go take him to some apartment thing and they start trying to like clean him up. And like he starts sort of coming out of it. And then one of the dudes finds out he gets out and comes back to kill him. And when he shows up to kill him, he really starts to come out of it. But he's almost zombie like. which is sort of cool.

Basically, he's a demon. Because there's some sort of theory that this demon comes every 50 years or so in this town. and like takes over somebody and they get revenge I don't need to watch it now not at all like the crow well again this is all the first like 15 or 20 minutes like we haven't even gotten to it yet so basically yeah this guy comes back and he's kind of zombie like but he starts getting better at his fighting skills and like he just yeah he just goes on a rampage and beats the hell out of people And goes to get revenge on all these people that killed his family. And then there's an extra twist I won't go into. But if you watch the trailer, it's right in the fucking trailer. So, big twist.

But, yeah. So, it's, yeah. It's a whole lot of those things mixed together. But I do like, he's just, he's all jacked up and dragging himself around sometimes. And then he gets a little better.

And then he gets his ass beat by a whole bunch of people. And then he still just keeps coming and murders everybody. He kills a lot of people. John Wick style. So.

With a pen? Sometimes with a bit, maybe. There's a lot of random things. He has a big, it's just like a blade with a big curve. It's sort of like a hatchet type thing or a cleaver, but it's like this big.

It's like a foot and a half long and it has a point on it. That's his favorite. So he uses that one for most of the jobs. But he'll use anything around. He'll shoot people if he needs to.

He'll stab them. Use a paper cutter. We'll get to that later. But if he had one, yes, he would totally use a paper cutter. So, it's a whole lot of gore.

It's a lot of beating people up. So, I enjoyed it. Again, it's not changing your life, but it's entertaining. And I like seeing people get beat up and bloodied up and lose appendages and whatnot. So, that was fun.

I liked it. Not at all changing your life, which is another thing I'll get to. So. Are we ready to get into the movie? Anything else before we get to the movie?

Nope, I think I'm ready to get into this shit. Alright, let's do it. It's time for Sofa Theater. Coming to you live from Shadyside High. Only two days to go until senior prom and anything could happen.

Gotcha. Megan Rogers, principal's office right now. Miss Granger, this is your time to shine. This is the new Shadyside, the promise of a bright future. This is your chance to fulfill that promise.

I'm trying to win prom queen, but I am never going to find a prom dress. You're so going to win prom queen. You better believe I am. Welcome, class of 88, to your senior prom! Hi.

Hi. If you make a fool of me, this will be the end of you. It's Shadyside. When's it all going to go wrong? I just saw something in the hallway.

You'll never be prom queen. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Megan, go! They know how it sounds. A whole bunch of people have disappeared.

Where are all the prom queens? We're trapped! How do we get out of here? Wowzers. This is a very special night and someone is ruining.

It! Put the music back on. I'm gonna cut the bitch that did this. You having a good night? It's the end, it's the end of prom night.

It's the end, it's the end, it's the end. You're not gonna be the homecoming queen today. So, now we've moved into the special Super Deluxe Horror Club feature. Because we normally have a whole different feed for the Horror Club. But this, brought to you by Wonderfest.

Because we got here and we were like... Actually, we planned on coming and we were like... What the hell are we going to talk about? We never... We don't watch anything other than those things we already talked about.

So, what the hell are we going to talk about? I was like. Are we going to talk about George Romero? And how. No.

We made it through the whole opening and didn't talk about either wedding. Last year, I had a wedding. We. had a whole every year George Romero made it through the whole intro without it now look what you've done so no we don't have to talk about any of that so instead I was like wait a minute I'm gonna watch this movie I already saw online you complaining about this movie so I'm assuming you watched it so I was like let's just bust it out because we already did the triology now we can round out the quadrology if you believe Fox that that's the thing that they interned The Aliens Quadrology. What? At the time, they had four alien movies, so the box set was the Alien Quadrology.

What's that? What's next? Five? What's five? Quintology?

Sextology? How many did we get to? That's a whole different thing. Oh. Seven?

Octology for eight? Octology sounds pretty cool. So, anyway, we had already done the whole first run of the first three. And I was like, well, we're going to be here. We might as well talk about the next one.

Let's go ahead and get this going. So we are back with this super special horror club sofa theater feature that is Fear Street colon prom queen. Oh, Lord. The year is 2025. The director is Matt Palmer.

And the plot, according to IMDb, When the It Girls competing for prom queen at Shadyside High start to disappear, a gutsy outsider discovers she's in for one hell of a prom night. Spoiler alert. We're going to ruin the hell out of this movie. She's going to ruin it so much you don't even know. We're going to ruin this like they've tried to ruin the entire name of this book series.

Spoilers on her feelings toward this movie and also the movie from here on out. I got big feelings. Go watch this movie if you also scammed this special streaming thing that we're not naming that we've named six times so you could watch this movie and then cancel it. It's not worth it. Just listen to what I say.

Always listen to what you say. Yeah, exactly. That's what you keep telling Jay. I know. Does he ever listen?

Hell no. Seriously, if I had a nickel, I'd be my own sugar daddy at this point. I thought you meant the other way. If I had a nickel every time you listen to me. I'd have a nickel.

If I had a nickel for every time I told him to listen to me and he didn't. Oh, well. You'd be rich. I know. You'd be buying this bowling alley over here.

Why can't I? Charge people to park there. That sounds like a good point. All right. Plus, bowling alley.

He doesn't want to hang out in the bowling alley. I don't want to have to bowl, but I'd hang out there all day. The shoes. Eat nachos and shit. The shoes.

Free shoes. No, not free. They're just fancy. Not if you don't take them back. Oh, man. lose your original shoes.

Yeah, but you buy really crappy shoes and then you go there and you get fancy shoes. And it'll say a number on the back. You'll be super cool if it's got like a 12 on the back. You'll be like, damn, look at it. People will be calling you out from across the room.

They'll be like, look at her feet. Damn. Clown shoes? That's what guys are looking for. Girls with big feet.

Clown feet. Oh my god. Speaking of clowns, where would you like to begin on Prom Queen? I don't know if I should just start randomly, because I have my post-it that I got from the Caretenders Excellence through Senior Advocacy, which I figure would make me sound even older than I already am. This is your retiree paper post-it notes?

Yes, from my free health fair. I don't know if I should start in order or where I was thinking. We start with the bloody crown. That's our entry point into the movie. I was okay with that part.

Yeah. That part was pretty cool. See, mine were afterthoughts. They weren't like while I was watching the movie. I was trying to at least give us a basic beat by beat if we want to hit anything specific, but we can also overview it.

Okay, specifically, I want to start with how the fuck is she a prom candidate? Because she's the outsider. Did she just decide to be a prom queen candidate? No. I thought you had to be elected.

The sad thing is, I don't know how proms work. Me neither. I didn't go to a prom. I'm not really involved in proms, neither back in the day, nor now. But I'm pretty sure you couldn't just be like, hey, you know what?

I want to be a prom queen candidate. I assumed you had to get voted down to like, they do an overall vote to get it down to five or six or whatever their number is. And then from there, you vote again and pick the queen. I don't know how it works. How is the outcast girl just all of a sudden, I'm just, She's just, because we don't get any intro into it.

She's just, hey, there's the list. There she is. She is cute. I'll give her that. Whatever.

Let's see. I had the cast. India Fowler? She's cute. She's cute.

And she kind of, I spent most of my time going, did that girl that used to be on Growing Pains grow up and have a daughter? Tracy Gold? Not Tracy Gold. The young, the annoying one. You know, in every series when they decide these old kids are lame, we got to have a baby.

I don't remember. Which happens in every sitcom. Take your pick. They all do it. I don't remember that one, then.

I might be getting the wrong shows. Tracy Gold's on there. Not Missy Gold. She was on Benson. Is it sad that I know these things?

A little bit. Ashley Johnson. Now, because I was going to bring up a picture. Doesn't that kind of, like is that not her? Except India's got a cooler face because she doesn't have this chin.

She's got a weird chin going on. But other than that, she grew up to be really attractive. When she was a kid, she was that creepy looking kid. Let me find. You'll be so creeped out.

Let me find her as a kid. You'll be like, ooh, gross. Kids. That's me in general with kids. It's not going to be like any different than any other kid.

Ooh, gross. Ooh, gross. Kid with curly hair. Gross. Nobody likes kids.

But she grew up and she got to be somewhat cute. But turns out, Indy is cuter. But also, not related. I sat through the whole movie going, she looks so much like her. That has to, she has to at least be her daughter, right?

She's old enough now to have a grown daughter. It could be her. Yeah, I looked it up. Not her. I don't know.

Totally different person. But she looks kind of like her. But yeah, how did she just automatically become on the prom queen candidate list? That doesn't seem practical. Convenience?

Plot? Yeah. At least in the book. I don't know why they're calling it like it's after the book. Because there's no...

There's a prom queen. I guess. That's about the extent of the tie between. guess in case you weren't listening to the original trilogy. Specifically, we've done this with you because you're the aficionado of Fear Street. You're a nerd who reads books first and foremost, but you have let's say a couple of Fear Street books.

I have them all. I have every Fear Street book there is. I figured you would argue with me on that one. Just a few Fear Street books. I got them all.

Even the hard to find ones. People, imagine a shelf full of books. They're all Fear Street. That's what I got. She's got a lot of Fear Street.

I have all the Fear Street. There's no Fear Street that I don't have. So we specifically, last time, even went in because you were going to be the one that would know about Fear Street and you could do the connection between the book or not between the book or whatever. So this time, just so you know. There's no connection.

There's prom queens. That's why she's extra annoyed. And I kind of knew that because I'm pretty sure last time I also had the same stance of, Yeah, I don't read things. What do I care? So I don't have the attachment.

To the books. But at least with the trilogy, there wasn't really, like, specific set of, like, this is this book, this is this book. It's not like Fear Street, you know. Yeah, they just picked years and did their own weird thing, which I kind of appreciate it on its own way. But why not?

If you're going to do Fear Street Prom Queen, at least somewhat follow the book. Because otherwise, you're going to end up with the people like me who are like, what the fuck is this shit? This is not the book, even if in the slightest. Just to jump ahead to the notes, just because I knew this would annoy you more, the executive producer, Lee, I won't mess up her last name, Lee, executive producer, revealed that she wanted the fourth installment to take place in the 1950s and center around Harry Rooker, the milkman from the previous trilogy. But plans changed because it was decided that the film would be more directly based on the Fear Street book series.

But it's not! I knew you would love that. But it's not! I wrote it down specifically for that reason. So, would it have been better had we had a Milkman story?

Because it wasn't... Was the Milkman part of the old series? No. Okay, so they could have done their own thing and then it wouldn't... None.

Of the killers from the trilogy are from any of the books. So that wouldn't have pissed you off as much. As long as you didn't call it fucking Prom Queen. Prom Night, starring the Milkman. No, just like, Fear Street, this other story.

Don't make it a specific... book you know what i mean because it's not gonna fucking work again in theory i do now i know they make books into movies all the time and half the time they don't do what it. Says in the book so i feel like that's the thing with book reading people all the time they always want to go this the book's better because of this and i'm like i don't care i'm not gonna read it anyway so i feel like they should just not like false advertise it exactly that's the issue so do i care if it sticks to the book personally no because i didn't read it But, do I think they should just do their own thing? I do like that there's a series, though. I like the idea. Like, I'm looking at my streaming thing, and I'm like, four of them in a row are Fear Street, Fear Street.

And I was like, this is cool. I want them to keep doing this. I want to have more of this type of thing, where they've created their own weird little universe. They're telling these stories. What's up to the one I addressed about this universe?

Is Fear Street mentioned in this fucking movie? Uh no talk about shady town or whatever it is shady side but do they ever fucking mention fear street i mean no did they live on fear street first of all because how is this popular rich girl living directly across the street from the poor i thought she was from the wrong side of the tracks originally because that's what she said about. Her mom was her mom was from the wrong side of the track so how did she end up living across the street from the super rich girl She's a cop, right? They don't make money. Exactly.

That's why cops are always on the take because they pay them crap. Do they live on Fear Street? Because it's never fucking mentioned. There's no Fear Street. Do they live there?

Do they work there? Is the diner there? Is the thrift shop that they buy their fucking dresses at no Fear Street? We don't fucking know because they never mentioned Fear Street. The only reference to Fear Street in the entire fucking thing is that they have Sarah Fear's name written on the bathroom wall.

That is not a real fucking reference right there. Ugh! Fear Street. Didn't they live on Fear Street in the trilogy, and you also didn't like. That?

Well, they had, like, Fear, but it was spelled different, I think. It was Fear, because it's Fear Families, F-I-E-R, whatever. I don't remember having a problem with that, but they did show the. I feel like you had a problem with a lot of things. I had a problem with the map.

The map didn't match the map that I have. So, what the fuck? It's a poster on the wall, isn't it? Maybe. But, uh, they didn't mention Fear Street.

And Fear Street is... Always in the book, there is some reference, at least a reference, even if it's not taking place directly on Fear Street, that somebody doesn't live there, which, how many fucking people can live on Fear Street? Apparently a lot, because everybody knows somebody who lives on Fear Street. I will say it is. Weird that now that you're mentioning it, that she lives across the street from the super rich family.

It doesn't really make any sense, since we know she has no dad, her mom's a cop, like she shouldn't be living in a super fancy house, but the other side of the street That is definitely a super fancy house because we end up in there later, so. Yeah, that's a little weird. I'll give you that one. They don't live. What?

Why? No. Boyfriend tried to break it down for me. He's like, well, they have these older houses. They sometimes break them into smaller apartments.

Like they do on like. Could be. Mansion Row in New Albany. They have these places. Like big fancy houses that.

And they'd get broken down into apartments. That's a lot of the weird Highland stuff. They used to be really big, nice houses, and now nobody takes care of them, but we've broken it into four apartments. So that was Boyfriend's explanation, was that maybe this house over here still has the entire fanciness. They can afford the entire house.

They can only afford a quarter of the house over here. So whatever. Sometimes that happens. He's very logical, that Boyfriend of yours. Oh, no.

I had to explain. I had to tell him this movie took place in the 80s. If I have to tell somebody that this movie is taking place in the 80s, then you are not doing the 80s correctly. I mean, if they're not on their phones all day long, shouldn't you know right there? Like, that should be a dead giveaway.

What kid isn't on their phone all the time? None of these chicks look like the 80s. None of them. I mean... No.

Melissa had kind of big hair, but that's just because it was curly. Which one was she? The cute one. I thought she was cute. I like Melissa.

She's the one that had the change of heart that wasn't a jerk. Oh, yeah. I kind of liked her. Except for her name was Melissa. Yeah, that's not good.

But otherwise, she was cute. I liked her. And I was like, hmm, she's probably still going to die. Oh, yeah. And then like a minute later, she got an accident.

But, or a cleaver of some sort. Yep. Also kind of like that demon city. It was one of those big cleaver things. Yep.

So, yeah. Let's see. Where were we after that? Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It's like, okay, I read the books. There's never been so much amount of profanity. I was also a child in the 80s. And we did not cuss as much. It just seemed like it was so fucking forced.

I mean, I cuss now. I cuss more than a fucking sailor. You do cuss a lot. But. But mine fits.

I will say, I remember us commenting about that on the trilogy, the original run. And then in this one, too, I was like, it's weird. It's almost like they're making up for her. Because they're not... Like, for being a throwback 80s slasher movie, they're not going the, and girls are going to get naked every five minutes.

So it's like they're not fully committing at that point, so they're like, well, we got to make up for it. We have to earn that R rating. Yeah, we got to be, everybody's got to say fuck for no good reason. The guy delivering flowers, fuck if I know. I was like, it was just like random sometimes.

I was like, okay, again, I'm okay with profanity, but you got to work it in right, dude. It's not forced. It felt like we were going to earn that R rating. I think that's what it was. It's like, we don't want to make these poor girls get naked, so instead we're just going to say fuck a lot.

Fucking shit. Oh my god. If you notice, that's the first thing. I'm like, fuck shit. And it was just like, it was...

Oh my god, dude. It was just, it felt forced and unnecessary. I did notice that, I will say. As someone who isn't as annoyed by most of the other things as you are, I still notice that. So, I did notice.

I think that was kind of, and that was my reasoning. It was like, I feel like they're trying to get their cred. Like, they want to be like, we're not for dumb kids. We say fuck a lot. A lot.

Yeah, okay. And there's gore, I'll give you. I'm okay with the gore. And all i'm okay to do it's fear street but i feel like that's the other one it's like they can't do those all three i don't know why like i don't know if netflix just doesn't want to get into hardcore nudity or what but like. Or their kids because i can't remember well but that's never stopped the 80s movies like The kids playing them, usually they're 25 anyway, so they just have the 25-year-olds play 16-year-olds and get naked.

Who cares? So, that's how producers roll, I hate to tell you. Actually, they probably don't care if they're 18. Now they do, in the post-MeToo world, but back in the day, I bet they didn't give a shit. So.

Why do we have to change the mascot so often? In the books, it was a Shadyside Tigers. Shadyside Tigers in every fucking book. In the one from the 90s, it was Shadyside fucking witches. Okay.

And then it was the Shadyside wolves. What the fuck are you talking about? I went to New Albany High School my entire fucking high school career. It's been the bulldogs from beginning to end as far as I know. Why?

I mean, especially when they're all those that are... Well, the witches is questionable. But they're all normal. If they're animals, there's not really a reason. When they get into weird... people versions of stuff that's why people have changed over the years but other than that like when does somebody change a mascot like i don't know of any high schools that unless it was an offensive terminology which yes i there's one that i used to live across from that now is a different thing but it's.

A bird now shady side tigers it's not that fucking complicated. So they shouldn't change it from tigers or if it was originally wolves you can get away with wolves Witches, I feel like, is going to rub people the wrong way. They were just leaning too heavy into the, we're going to make this movie about Sarah Fier. It's going to have witches. Let's see.

What's next on my list? Again, not enough Aquanet. The entire prom, if we're already at the prom, just in general, there might have been some background characters who had the 80s hair. I was, at 88, I was 8. in 88 I was 8 years old so I did not go I was not full on hair you wished you had that hair I was never that cool I was fucking rowdy I do have a picture of me that my aunt I don't know if you ever you probably saw it it was probably in that collage that my grandma gave you probably well my hair was like curled and teased and like big and I was like 7 or 8 so it might have been around the same time this movie would have been taking place my hair was bigger than any of these people's hair in this entire fucking movie and I was like this is not no and.

You just got back from the mall There was no mall in this movie. There was a thrift store. Well, we had that in the original one because we had the mall in two out of three of those. I love the mall. I like that part.

That was one of my favorite things. We get VHS footage here, though. That's how we know it's dated because we're watching. Again, they're kind of ahead of the curve because really, at least in my cheap ass school, we didn't have any of that stuff back then. We were lucky.

We didn't have any of that. When I think back, they had some photographers that would take still photos for the newspaper that they still barely put out like yeah so we were we were poor and having that fancy stuff so the fact that they were already doing like vhs news footage that they were i guess editing and showing on the rolly cart tv they brought in like i don't know what else like now they stream their stuff that they shoot with kids all the time like i know a kid that's in the media club now that goes there for a weekly meeting and they edit together footage of kids and Yeah, I don't know. We didn't have that crap when I was a kid. But here, they're ahead of the curve. They're doing it on the VHS.

So, we get grainy VHS footage, which I do kind of like. Red herrings. Everybody was a fucking red herring. Everyone's a suspect. I thought everybody did it until the person that I had no fucking clue, which, spoiler alert, I didn't even realize that was Chris Klein until halfway through the fucking movie.

It wasn't just me, because I didn't realize that until today when I was writing shit down. I even saw his name in the credits and went, oh yeah and then I forgot all about it and didn't think who it was and then got like the whole movie I watched it that dude like no offense when I look at him now I'm like okay I see his face there he is but like he's so different than old timey Klein dude that I was just like oh yeah. Halfway through I'm like I fuck is that is that Chris Klein it can't be Chris I looked up I'm like it's Chris Klein what the fuck happened to him he turned into an old dad it's weird he did and not a hot old dad either. Yeah a nerdy dad, but he's supposed to be playing a nerdy dad, so it's fine.

Yeah, dude. But yeah, everybody was a red herring in this fucking... Everybody. I was like, oh, I bet it's this person. Oh, I bet...

No, it's this person. Well, again, by the end, I came up with several alternate endings that I kind of liked better, which sometimes I do that. I know people are... sometimes, you know, you're supposed to discuss and review the movie that you watched, not what you wanted to see. Fuck that. Sometimes I'm like, I came up with a better plan.

Here's what you should have done. So I like talking about those things. We can get to those endings later. Yeah, we'll do that later. The dance-off was fucking retarded.

A motherfucking dance-off! That was fucking stupid. You can cut out me saying the R-word if you want, because I know it's not PC. But if we're going back to the 80s, you know what? It was fucking retarded.

Because I would have said that in the 80s, so it is legit. It's true. It is very timely that Everyone sort of used that at the time. It was dumb beyond words. And I don't mean that as an insult to people who would be considered slow.

I mean, it was fucking stupid. That is an actual word. We just gave it the bad stigma over the years. It's a word that means the thing that we're using. Well, I mean, not right.

It's not the way it's supposed to be in the scientific version of the term. There are many other things that you can use that term towards. We just took it in the wrong direction post- you know, after the eighties, mid nineties, we started going, yeah, you're not supposed to say that. Yeah. So, but anyways, we're doing an eighties thing.

It's fine. Whatever. I don't care. You guys have heard the word before. Am I going to get hate mail?

You know how it was used before. It's fine. I'm just going back in time. I'm trying to be more like authentic with the eighties. But anyway, that was, I'm just like, what, what, why was this?

What? First of all, DJ guy's like 40, right? Dude, seriously. He came up. I thought he was a teacher.

And then later I was like, Oh, he's supposed to be a student. that kid looks old. I mean, not that all of them are 25, but still. Boyfriend will tell you that half the people he went to high school with had fucking full-grown mustaches and beards, so. He did say the dude that was picking on him was the fourth-year senior. Yeah.

So, some of them might have just been really dumb. Okay, back to the prom. Okay, the dude with the scrunchie. No dudes in the 80s had a fucking scrunchie. Well, even if you did.

No. Pink? Well, it matched his outfit. What sort of like bullying dude was wearing pink in the eighties. Like, I don't know.

That was a bad look anyway, but like the pink, I'm just not into pink. It's cool. If you are, I just don't like it, but I can't imagine a dude in the eighties being into pink. Like, Although there were dudes that wore those, like, pink Oxford shirts that I never understood. The preppy guys?

Yeah. Preppy guys that wore pink. I was like, really? Pink? Now?

Like, again, it was the 80s. I was like, what are you doing? But I don't think I've ever in my life seen a dude wear a scrunchie. No. In the 80s.

No. Dude. Knock it off. That's not going to happen to me. Did you know it was a scrunchie?

Now you see dudes that, like, man bun it up with whatever they need to. But did you notice the scrunchie? Oh yeah no i specifically was like i was watching it again today going back on pink what is no. What's the dude no i'm sorry. Yeah that was that was a bad look anyway but the scrunchie was oddly out of place i feel like.

Not enough aquanet marks that off my list. As though also and i don't get as nitpicky but i saw several people calling them out online about the song usages. Boyfriend wasn't too happy about it. I feel like some of them were, except the one that they called them out specifically for was the Roxette one. I feel like there's a technicality.

I think the album was out then, but the single that became like everybody would go woo when it started wasn't until like a year after this movie was set. So, oops, what are you going to do? But if we're talking about music, Definitely have to call out because normally I get this way when I hear the song and I'm like, yay. Oh, wait, nobody. There's nobody to tell this to.

Nobody cares. But when I heard it this time, I was like, oh, I can discuss. Our dear friend Tiffany gets played because you and I, if you weren't around for the old episode, you and I are best friends with Tiffany. Did I hug Tiffany? I don't remember.

Oh, you definitely. I believe you hugged Tiffany twice. Tiffany. I got a hug from Tiffany. I'm pretty sure she liked you so much she hugged you twice.

Got double hugged. So. We are best friends with Tiffany, is what I'm saying. Yeah. So they played a little Tiffany, is what I'm saying.

A little Tiffany. But yeah, for the most part, I was just like, what the... They just weren't like... And yes, they were songs, but they weren't like songs that you think of for that... You know, they weren't like iconic songs for that year, if that makes any sense.

It's hitting this. I feel like at this point, everything 80s has become so homogenized 80s that I don't even know anymore. Like, I hear the same hundred songs on 80s radio... on 80s streaming. Like, I put it on 80s at least once a week now because I'm just like, eh, let's mix things up. Let's play some old stuff.

And no matter what band I put in from that era, it plays the same 50 to 100 songs. Like, it's just the same stuff over and over again. So I don't even know what's... Like, I remember the ones that were singles sometimes, but then there's other stuff that's just gotten played a million times since then because the 80s is a brand. Oh, no.

So, yeah, I don't know. i'm i don't get as nitpicky about the music sometimes i just saw them call out rock. Set i just my immediate response to this because somebody asked me like right after i watch it they were like what did you think i'm like it was it's okay. It was it. Was fun ish i was okay with the kills. Definitely See, that's mine.

If we're jumping to the overall feelings, because I was going to start with that, but I was like, well, you've got to vent first. But if we're just doing overall, by the end, I was like, I'm fine with it. Here's my issue with it. It's not doing anything interesting. It's not doing anything to change your feelings about horror.

It's not pushing the envelope. It's just basically like, here's an 80s slasher again. Here's the things that you've seen happen in other 80s slashers, and we're gonna do that. And that's all we're gonna do. We're not gonna do any extra.

We're not gonna put a twist on it. We're not gonna make it some sort of new retro looking back and putting a modern day slant on things. Nope. We're just gonna do an 80s movie again. But the thing is, I like those, so I'm fine.

Like, I enjoyed it for what it was. Do I think it's good? Do I think it's great? No. Do I think it's good?

It's fine. I had a good time with it. I liked some of the performances. If they hadn't slapped Fear Street on it, I would have liked it more. I mean, at this point, you could just call it prom movie.

What the hell is this one called? Prom queen. There you go. Because I'm like, I want to say night, but even they know what they're doing because did you see the series of posters that they did? It's just them ripping off other movies from the 80s.

I was like, so they know what they're doing. It's not like they're haphazardly slapping together a bad movie they know they're making a movie from the 80s they know they're ripping off every trope about the 80s movies so it's like yeah it's fine then like if that's what you want to do go for it and they do it and it's well financed and the performances are good and i'm okay with it do i think it's impressive in any way no i don't But do I like that it exists in this run of movies on that little strip? Yes. I kind of want them to keep making these. I hope they get better, but.

I want them to actually follow a plot of a book. That's just going to piss you off even more. Any book. I feel like that's going to make you more mad. But even Chris Klein as the teacher said, fuck, in class.

That would not have happened. Well, the mouthing off in class, which that happens in every movie about high school kids. Did you ever see anybody say the kind of shit that kids in movies say to their teachers? No. I was like, man, especially back in the day, they could have slapped your ass for shit.

They could beat you back in the day. Good times. This was Catholic school. Shit, they could do what they wanted back then. I have another complaint.

All right. I'm shocked. Why kill the guys? If we're going to get into the spoiler that The killer was killing the girls so that the person that they wanted to be prom queen could be prom queen. What does that have to do with any of the guys?

I don't understand. I mean, again, if we're jumping to the big reveal, which we threw out the spoiler alert a long time ago. Double spoiler alert. My issue with that was, like I said, I came up with so many better options. But I'm like, why?

Like, I guess the big twist in the middle is, ooh, there's more than one. There's two. Scream. Whatever. I've seen Scream.

Whatever. No big deal. But then, I guess, eventually, there's three. And I'm like, okay. I guess.

I don't know. I was like, who cares? So, again, to me, it's like the most... The least interesting version of the wrap-up is what we got. Like, this dumb family just wanted...

Because, like I said, there's not even a twist to it. I mean, it's, again, the most uninteresting way to do it. So, these people... That you think would go so far as to murder people. So that this girl who super wants to be prom queen.

Would be prom queen. Is what they did. Like it's the most basic version of the story. There is no twist. It's like this girl.

That really wants to be prom queen. She's going to kill people to be prom queen. And that's what they did. So that part I don't understand anyway. Like why not.

At least that's the whole horror movie thing. Is give it a twist. Night Shyamalan presents Prom Queen. What a twist. But we don't even get that.

But again, what does that have to do with the boyfriends? Because then you're not even just killing the prom queen candidates. You're killing the random boyfriends that they're there with. You're killing the guy with the scrunchie, for fuck's sake. Oh, he needed to be killed.

But the thing that really made no sense to me is like, okay, if the other girls, I feel like, are in her little tribe, other than we'll get back to cool girls at the beginning. But the other girls are in her little tribe, so they're not really a threat. They're going to cancel each other out at best, or they're all going to back out if they think they were going to win. So we only have one girl that's competition. Why not kill her first?

If you're afraid you're going to lose to her, why leave her to the point where they're still voting? That makes no sense. She's your only competition that you're worried about. Why not off her first? And she's the girl you hate.

You've hated her your whole life. Why not be like, Mom, first and foremost, get rid of this bitch. I am sick of her. Nope, nope, nope. Nope.

Nope. We're gonna leave her till the end of the movie because she's the main character. Again, convenience. It's just plot convenience. Because in the books, it was literally only the girls.

And it wasn't for actual... It wasn't actually even for the prom queen status. I could spoil the book for you. I mean, I'm not gonna read it, so spoilers for the book, I guess. It was one girl, and apparently... her boyfriend or the guy she was seeing had been messing around with the other girls.

Which is kind of what was gonna happen on that one, if we got to that point. I mean, they went out on dates, or they flirted with the other girls, and it was just her being like, you're fucking with my man. So basically, high school girls. That's pretty much how high school girls roll. You don't fuck with high school girls.

That was pretty much it. But it just happened to be that he was going after the popular girls, and they were all... There was no outcasts. In the fucking prom queen candidate line. It was just the girls that were popular that were flirting with her boyfriend.

Or going out with him. So we skipped over Christy. Christy is basically their Drew Barrymore. You don't get out much, so I don't know if you watch children's programming like I do. But I've been fully aware.

I mean, Ariana Greenblatt. She's like taken over. Like she... I've known her in watching since she was a little kid. And basically, she's gunning for her fake TV sister's job.

Because she was the littlest sister on Stuck in the Middle. So that's the show that brought us Gina Ortega. That was the thing that launched her into I'm Gonna Take Over the World, which she now owns the world. But on her heels is her little sister from the show. Because around the same time she was shooting Stuck in the Middle, she's the young Gamora in Infinity War.

I'm watching Love and Monsters. She's in that. She's in The Heights. Oh, there's a little kid in the 65 movie. She's the little kid in that.

She's the reason the Barbie movie exists. She's the daughter in the Barbie movie. When they do flashbacks on the TV show for Ahsoka, she's young Ahsoka. Not that it went over well, but she's in that giant budget Borderlands movie. So that girl is in everything.

She is going to be the next big Jenna Ortega, essentially. So she was a huge name for them to get. So, of course, she's got two scenes and gets off. Is she the one who's the drug dealer? Yeah, she's the drug dealer and the cool girl.

So, of course, I'll show up and be a cool girl for a day and a half to shoot this thing. So, yeah, she's got the classroom scene where she says the thing that you'd get kicked out of school for. What did she say? I don't remember. Breathing out of your ass or something stupid.

I was like, come on. Teachers would have yelled at you for that kind of nonsense. but she's a cool girl so she is gonna mouth off to him because she's a badass but she is super cool i like that girl but it is funny that yeah she's got that classroom scene she's got the drug deal scene where she then gets murdered so she's the drew barrymore in this she's like oh look they got her she's gonna oh no she's off never mind first girl killed she's out so. Should we discuss the one thing that i liked about this movie. Let's see do I think it was the blue sparkly dress no Megan alright which one's Megan oh the annoying friend she was the. Good friend what are you talking about She was the only thing that felt R.L.

Stine about this entire fucking thing. Yeah, I'll give you that. That does seem like one of those books. Because R.L. Stine was...

He still is the master of the... Oh my god, somebody's stabbed! Oh wait, it's a prank! Oh my god, somebody's dead! Oh no, it's a joke!

You know, with her, like, her whole... I'm gonna fucking drop my phone. Her fucking, oh, I cut my hand off in class. See, my issue with that was that weird little circle was exactly the size of her wrist. If she missed by an inch, wouldn't she have just damaged her arm?

She's obviously put a lot of work into it. I guess, because she had perfect aim. Because she just went up for it and slammed that thing down. I'm like, how did you hit that exact perfect little spot in your special effects cleaver? Because that's what she does.

I guess. And then the head in the punch bowl. The head in the punch bowl. Let me just say, everybody was a little too quick to assume that it was a fake. Now, I guess they go to school with her, so they assume it.

But I'm like, I feel like in the real world, maybe just in modern day world where people die all the time at these things but i'm just like i feel like there would have been an extra minute of holy shit is that an actual. Head like it's so long. But there was only like a half second of oh my god it's tiffany and she's standing there so i guess that was enough for them to go darn it what's her face what is her name megan darn it megan you've done it again. Like I said, she's the only thing that felt Fear Street, R.L. Stine to me.

It was Megan. And for the longest time, I was convinced it was her. She did it because she was secretly in love with her best friend and she wanted her best friend to be the prom queen. I mean, she did wear a tux to the dance. She was fucking...

She was ducky. She was. Yeah, if she's coded, it's that way. Although, by the end, I was pretty sure she found a new stoner dude. And I'm like, oh, maybe she's gonna come out of this with a boyfriend now.

Who knows? She was Ducky. She was the chick from Neon. Is it Neon Maniacs? Because I keep getting that one fucking confused.

I can't remember. Neon Demons? Neon Maniacs? Neon Demons, good, but I don't think it's that one. It's the one where the.

She's a model. No, it's not that one. I like that movie, but that's not the one you're thinking of. No, I'm thinking of like older, like in the 80s maybe. So yeah, but she had...

It was... It looks... She looks the same. She had the whole fucking thing. I'm like, is she fucking...

Yeah, she's Ducky. She comes in with, you know... And I'm like, That's the thing. She's secretly in love with her best friend and she wants her friend to be prom queen to get all this, like, her justice for being, you know, ridiculed for all these years. And even by the end of the movie, she's like, her best friend is annoyed at her.

She's like, why can't you just let me have this? Leave me alone. So that would be reason for her to turn and be like, I'm done with you and everybody here. Exactly. And that would have made more sense to me.

I would have been okay. I would have maybe, I don't know that I would have been okay. But it's... It would have been more interesting, I guess. Again, that's still not even one on my list of the other alternate endings I came up with.

Should we discuss more of our alternate who we thought was the actual killer? We can. I was positive it was Tiffany's boyfriend for the longest time. Until he was dead, I thought it was Tiffany's boyfriend. That's the thing.

He seemed, like, genuinely nice most of the time, which seemed like kind of a red flag of, like, hmm. I mean, in the real world, I wouldn't trust that, because what high school guy is nice? And then on top of that, like, he seems like to be with Tiffany, you seem like you would have to be an asshole. So why is this guy so genuinely nice and like, seems like he's really into her, which that's, it's funny that she kind of called her out. I'm like, it doesn't say much for you, Tiffany, that your boyfriend's been in the whole dance looking at this girl.

So it's okay. I don't like Tiffany. But so yeah, he seemed like a definite possibility up until the end. I did think it was weird that he got kind of grabby right before he got murdered? Yeah, he like, he turned quick.

Because what was that about? Because I'm like, well, and why was she so hands off? Because like, she wanted to go, because I was like, this is almost on, not to totally blame it, I'm just saying, girls, beware. If a dude wants to go somewhere more private, you better assume he's at least going to want to make out. Be prepared.

Yeah, I was like, don't go there like, innocently like, but you're handsy, what the hell? I'm like, no, no, no, come on. Girls, prepare yourselves. High school guys suck, come on now. Like, you should know he at least wants to make out.

Come on. Or just do it in the janitor's closet like the other two that were doing. They were down in the basement doing it. Speaking of, the janitor. I was pretty sure.

Oh, the janitor. I mean, he was, like, red herring for real. Like, he seemed a little too obvious. So I was like, probably not, but they're definitely making you think it's the janitor. He looked like they really wanted to get Brad Dourif, but they couldn't.

Can't avoid Brad Dourif. We spent all our money on Lily Taylor. That's a waste, man. I really like Lily Taylor. She's the vice principal.

I know. Yeah, I saw her. She's a for real actress, man. She's like, she is good and stuff. And like, she is wasted here.

I told boyfriend, like, look, it's that one girl you always think is Lily Tomlinson or whatever her name is. Lily Tomlin? Yes. She's considerably older. I know, but he always looks the same.

No offense to Lily Tomlin either. Also friend of the show. But yeah, Lily Taylor is really good and stuff. And like here... It's like, we need somebody to wear a jacket and cross their arms and look angry.

They were obviously red herrings because they're the super religious ones who don't very disapprove of all the bad things. That's what I thought. That was one of the ones I did come up with. I'm like, okay, that would at least make sense that like she frowns on everything these damn high school kids are doing. So if she was like, cleaning things up because these kids are doing drugs drinking having sex i'm like this is old school 80s rules man of course you're gonna do that so like that would have fallen right in line but no we didn't get that because i thought her and her son once we got to the two i was like obviously it's those two it could be those two and that would have reason because these kids are all dirty and they need to die because of.

It at some point i was pretty sure it was the son and megan They like stood by each other at some point. I'm like, it's those two together. Yeah. See, the other one I thought was possibly a more interesting wrap up was the, uh, the little toadies that were into Tiffany, the little blonde girl that kept like backing her the whole time. And that dude that was with her.

I was like, those two, and if they had a little cult around her that they were like, oh, she's going to win no matter what, even if we have to kill people, that would make more sense than the parents. Like, if they were her weird little toadies that were willing to follow her to whatever lengths to make sure she wins. I'm like, that would have been interesting. I don't know, better, but certainly more interesting than, hey, mom and dad, whatever. That just seemed boring.

So yeah, there was at least those. think i thought of another one while we're talking like i came up with so many alternate people that it could have been it might have been more. Interesting but at no point in the entire fucking movie did i think it was chris klein until they fucking literally pulled the mask. Got stabbed in the eye and you're like oh that that guy that's i think i was still going that's her dad right he's so not memorable in this movie that i was like i think i think that's he's the coachy guy but he's also her dad right i think so So that's the impact he made on us. I literally thought it was everybody but the person. And not because they did a good job of, like, hiding it.

It was because they did so good at, like, making it seem obvious that it was everybody else. I mean, the mom was shady. Like, the mom would have made sense. Chris Klein is the one that doesn't make any sense. Like, why does he care?

Oh, I knew you wanted it so bad. Both of you. Okay, whatever. Mom seemed freaking crazy. So I'm like, mom, I would give you.

Like, she's an insane person even when she's just, like, come look at our daughter with her dress. Like she's overwhelming. I can see her being crazy enough to go down that road. That, okay. That was the other one.

That was the plot I was thinking of that was like way more interesting. Now, none of the math makes sense in this. We can get back to that later. But when, when girl gets up in her face and is like telling the whole little story of like the guy from the good side of town goes to the wrong side of the tracks just to hook up with this girl. I thought what we were going to find out is his actual girlfriend at the time was her mom and that they are half sisters, that he got both of them pregnant because they have to be around the same time.

So her mom was obviously do it in high school, too, because they're the same fucking age. So like why she was so high and mighty about, you know, the wrong side of the tracks girl just because he got stabbed in the face. but still like you were having sex in high school too because she's the same age as you dumbass so yeah I was just like that is what I thought that would have at least been an interesting reveal and like something different but like so I thought it was going to be a different type of thing so I thought that was way more of a like dirty secret that could come out that mom was also hooking up with this dude and that once he was dead, she didn't have to own up to it. She could be with her legit boyfriend and then go off and have a nice little family.

So that would be the big secret that would come out. And what almost makes sense that like, there was like a born in reason. They were hooking up, weren't they? I don't know, weren't they? Did they come out with that?

I thought that's why she killed him was because he was hooking up with her. That was what, but that's why I thought like, born into why this girl hated her so much. Like, she's her sister. And, like, she didn't even realize it, but that's why, like, from birth, she had shit with her. Like, she was just, she seemed so angry at her for no good reason.

I was like, well, that, like, genetically would make sense. Sisters love to fight. She doesn't like you, and she doesn't even know that she's your sister. Yeah, I thought that the guy that was killed was dating her mom, and, like, they split up. I think that was part of it.

I was just working in the, she also got, she also got pregnant, and that's why this girl hated her so much and she didn't even know it sisters maybe. I don't know that would make more. That would have been way more interesting i feel like but no and they even like led into it with that whole story and she was giving her all these details and i was like and then later she's gonna figure out that like that's how mom got pregnant and that's why mom wanted to cover everything up and so yeah i don't know we just didn't get any of that no we didn't we. Didn't If you're not going to follow the storyline, at least somewhat to the book, at least make it an interesting storyline. Not this.

It's part of it. We're fun along the journey was fun. Again, I think it's fine. Like I said, I think it hits all the beats of your standard high school slasher. Like it's not worse than any of those other movies.

And it's kind of well funded more than the eighties movies were. So it's like, it's well-made. It does those things that I like tropes in the eighties movies. I'm like, it's not, I can't be mad at it for any of that. I wish it was a little better.

I wish it was more creative in its storytelling. But, like, it's fine as a horror movie goes. Like, I'm not going to trash it overall, which I saw a lot of people. That's the thing. I knew you weren't thrilled, but I also knew the book angle on your end.

But I saw... several people on to the point. I quit looking to see what people said because everything I saw was people just talking shit about. And I was like, it's not that bad. Like, look, I've watched a lot of bad movies. This is far from a bad movie.

Comparatively. It's not creative, but it's, you know, I watched empire of the dark. Your favorite is movie. And this is worlds better than Empire of the Dark. This is well funded.

I bet they had craft services. Unlike Empire of the Dark. This was a well made film comparatively. So yeah. Again I'm fine with it.

I just wished it was a little better in it's story. I wish that it had followed the book. At least somewhat. But then it would still stray from it. And it would piss you off.

So I think either way you were going to be pissed. Even if it had a slightly different twist, it would be fine. Then it would have to have a twist. Again, this one doesn't even have a twist. It's just straight through.

Here's a whole lot of red herrings, but it never twists off of anything. It's just could be this one, could be this one, could be this one. Nope, it's not that one. It's this one. No twist.

It's just a straight line to mom and dad. There's a fork in the road where we add an extra person. There's a fork where we go from it could be interesting to this. No, just this thing. It's just that Chris Klein dude.

Never mind. What did you think of the killer, the whole look of them? I thought it worked. It's a bit much, but like, it was okay. I don't understand why though.

Like again, it's almost like horror movies begat by horror movies. It's like, because you need a costume in a slasher movie. So we came up with this elaborate costume. Why? No reason.

Cause it's almost as elaborate as something like your, I know what you did last summer. They're wearing a big rain slicker, but I'm like, he has a reason. He's a fucking sailor. He's a fisherman. Like, that's why he's wearing that.

Why you, a high school teacher and I guess a housewife, I don't even believe she has a job, are wearing a giant ass leather pleather whatever the fuck kind of coat that is and a mask and like it's very elaborate. There's no symbolism. For no backstory. Yeah, I'm like if you gave it a reason I'm fine with elaborate. But like if they're putting on all that shit to go murder people for no reason when you could just show up and put on a clear poncho that you paid 98 cents for to keep blood off your suit when you go back to it.

Fucking Gallagher style? Yeah, Gallagher style. You got to sit in the melon zone and splatter zone area, but you don't want to get blood on your suit while you're at the dance. So I understand you put something over it, maybe, but why put all that? Because at one point it looked like there wasn't even a split in the middle.

I was like, did they put that over their head? Because that would be really cumbersome. Eventually there were close-ups and it is split, it looks like. Again, there may be just different versions and different cuts back and forth. But at one point, it's definitely split in the middle, I guess.

But what is that? Again, it's not a ring coat, really. It's too elaborate and too weird and leathery. I think they just got it at the sex shop, really. That's why I thought it might have been Megan, because she was into all that shit.

She was the one who made the head. She was into costumes. She was into all that. She would wear something elaborate. That would make sense.

She'd go all in. That would make sense. Megan was not half-assing things. But yeah, I thought it looked right. It just didn't really have a reason to be that elaborate.

It didn't make sense. But visually, it looked creepy. Like, it worked. It just, there wasn't a reason for it to work. And there were no mullets in this movie.

See, that's what Ponytail Dude should have had. A mullet? That guy was a mullet guy. Come on. He's a fourth year senior.

If Chris Klein's going to be playing a gym teacher guy... Was he a gym teacher as well? I thought he was. I thought they called him coach or something. I don't know.

He could have had a fucking mullet. He should have at least had super short shorts. It's the 80s, man. Dudes wore some scary super short shorts. Short shorts and half tops.

Crop tops, dude. Showing off his gut at this point. Back in the day, he would have been all ripped and stuff, but now he's just an old man, so he's going to have a gut. Nobody wants that. Dad bod.

That's a thing, right? People like that. I mean, yeah. He probably is rocking a dad bod. He doesn't look like he's massively out of shape.

He just got old. And that's just scad. Scary and sad. Scad. Scad.

Makes me scad every time I see somebody like that. You're scared and sad at the same time. Yeah. I kind of am. Because I remember the real times.

Trademarked here on Movie Meltdown. The scad. It's all scad. Everything in this movie is scad. Because I remember the 80s. these aren't the 80s and it makes me scared.

My boyfriend was just like, this doesn't feel like the 80s. There were different classes in the 80s. There was the metalheads. There was no metalheads in this movie. Yeah, they didn't really breakfast club it.

They didn't have everybody representing a certain thing. There were the slightly nerdier people, but not like cookie gutter, which seems cliche until you actually see nerdy people. Now, I'm saying that from a convention, so I know some nerdy people. I might be one. But they're definitely like, when you think they're going caricature, just go out into the world and they're kind of not.

Like there are some really out of touch nerdy people that are equally as nerdy as your caricatures get. So sometimes it seems like they're going too far with that, but they're probably not actually. All right. And then we get to the fake out ending that we all know is not the ending. Anytime somebody's like, the cops have shown up or.

They're sitting in an ambulance and like blood starts to pull and then the secret symbol well you know that like it still has a good 15 or 20 minutes left why are the cops already here like some movies end with the cops and some movies you feel like they got there a little early and you're like i think there's an extra secret ending coming so we knew it was dad but i'm like we saw two people so like you're not fooling us you showed us two people at the same time you know there's at least one more person So there was the fake out ending and then like we go back to the house and there's the real ending. Which she was like trying to be nice to her too. Like she's like, I'll take her home. I'm like, fuck her.

She's been a jerk to you her whole life. Your entire life. She's been an asshole to you. That's when I realized that I've said this before, but watching this movie really brought it up. specifically like when she stops her, like she's going to work, which first of all, who works a shift before prom? Like you got out of school, you got to go to prom.

You've got time for a whole shift to work. She must've gone in for like an hour, whatever, too much time to get holding her old waitress outfit. But like, she's walking to work and girl gets like all up in her face while she's out running. And like, she's saying some shit. And I'm just like, punch her in the face.

Like, that's what I've realized over the years. I'm like, I can't go back in time and go to school. I can't Peggy Sue got married and be like my brain now in high school body. Cause I would say shit. Like I will probably get my ass kicked, but like, I don't care.

I don't put up with that kind of shit anymore. I say horrible things to people all the time. So like now if I went back to my high school days, I would be saying horrible shit to people and probably get punched in the face or I just haul off and hit somebody. Like I don't, I don't know how to do that anymore. As a kid, I sat there and just fucking dealt with it as you're supposed to do.

But you lose that when you get old. And I'm like, I realize now, like that girl should just punch her in the face right now because mostly that would mess up her prom photo. She'd have a big bloody nose or her nose would be swollen up. And oh my God, her nose wasn't small and cute. She would be so broken up about that.

Or she'd have a black eye in her prom photo. How awesome would that be? So yeah, I realized I can't go back to high school. Guess what I don't want to because high school sucks. I couldn't be nice to people like that.

I don't do it now. I don't know that I did it then. I just didn't talk to anybody then. Whereas now, I still don't talk to anybody. But I used to at least kind of just ignore people where now if you like actively get on my nerves, I make it known.

Like I'm just like, go away. I don't want to talk to you. You suck. There are certain people in my life that know that I don't like them now. And I'm like, just stay away from me.

We won't have to go down this road if you get away from me. Thanks. So, yeah, I can't go back in time because I feel like she should have. Same thing with her in the hallway telling her a little wrong side of the track story. Like, punch her in the face.

Elbow right to the nose. Yeah, you need to take this. She's a wuss. Look at her. You could kick her ass.

And girl would join in, because Melissa's cool. She's had a turn around here. She wants to be your friend now. Yeah, she was okay about it. Yeah, she helped you with your makeup.

Come on, she's cool. She'd be your friend, and she'd have your back, and she'd hold her down while you punch her in the face, because she sucks. And boyfriend was like, they did not have that eye makeup in the 80s. Yeah, her little Egyptian thing when she comes back with it. Boyfriend called it doe eyes, and I'm like, is that doe eyes?

It's like demon pointy eyes, but it was very Egyptian. I mean, back in the day, they had that, I guess, if you believe, like, you know. Cleopatra movies and whatnot. But in the 80s, they weren't really doing that. That's like a 2000s thing.

That wasn't even a 90s look. I feel like that was a post-2000s movement when they started doing the extra special eye makeup stuff. It was just giant eyeshadow back in the 80s. There was no eye fucking shadow. It was obnoxious colors that didn't need to be on your face.

There was no hairspray. There was no fucking outrageous makeup. No fucking dresses that had big bows on them. Giant shoulders. Yeah, there was no shoulder pads.

Giant shoulders was kind of thing for the 80s, I hate to tell you. These were almost like classy, like now prom dresses, really. Definitely the ones the other girls, the sparkly blue dresses they both had, were pretty now dresses. Hers was just weird, like Disney princess. She had a bow, but it was going the wrong way.

It was just a ribbon across the middle. She looked like a Disney princess of some sort. It was not an 80s prom dress. It was not an 80s prom dress, though. I remember my aunt She had an 80s prom dress.

And it was poofy like a motherfucker. It was big. And I'm pretty sure there was taffeta involved. And maybe some crinoline. And I don't even know what crinoline is.

But it was ginormous and pink. And there was a lot of it. Just because of the size of the poof in it. You know? So, yeah.

Second fake out. Mom's crazy. Daughter's crazy. Daughter's also crazy. But again, why all three of them?

I could understand... maybe mom and dad and the daughter was unaware of it or mom and the daughter, because they're both crazy in the same way. And dad was sort of oblivious to what was going on, but all three just seems like a weird move without some sort of tie in specific story, like some sort of pact that they made or something stupid that tied it all together and gave us a backstory for those dumb outfits. And like, if you gave it a reason for all of this wrap up, maybe, but like, we don't get that. And that's where I feel like they dropped the ball. And if you're going to do this, At least give us a reason for all this dumb stuff.

But instead, they're just like, and then this happens. The end. I don't know. That was my problem. I had a lot of problems, obviously.

I think we covered most of the. I do like her getting impaled on the bird. That was pretty funny. That was pretty cool. It's Death Go.

Yeah, they had a lot of good deaths. Including the paper chopper. The paper chopper. You forgot. You brought up the paper chopper earlier.

That one, I guess, had to be Dad. I was watching that again afterwards. I went back and was watching stuff, and I was like, He like overpowers that dude. So I'm like, there's no way Tiffany, Tiffany weighs like 90 pounds. She is not.

Mom's at least a grown ass woman. She probably does jazzercise. She probably has crazy woman strength. Yeah, she could almost, maybe mom, but I'm assuming because he like smashes his face through the window, chops off the arm in one shot. Like that, at least I'm going, maybe Chris Klein could do that.

Which does lead us to one of my favorite scenes in the entire movie. Dude trying to open the door with two bloody nubs. That was pretty funny. And I laughed. And I'm like, you can't open the door.

You ain't got no hands. Along the chopping off hands line, just to give you a good tie in and a reason to go back and watch that, whatever the hell I called it. Demon City. Oh, Demon City. Demon City, when he's like going in for his initial kill.

So this was early on. He's got his big ass hatchet thing. And he like chops this dude hand. off completely and he's laying on the floor like bleeding and like he turns around and goes to walk off and he's still holding it and then like I was like does he realize he's still holding my hand and you see him just kind of nonchalantly look down and go and just shrug and throws it over his shoulder so that reminded me of chopping off a hand because he does kind of the same thing it's about at the same spot so yeah chopping off hands it's what happens in this episode but when he. Tries to open the doorknob I mean that would be hard with bloody nubs I mean it'd be one thing if I was following like the little lever door.

Then you could just hit it with your nub. But with a doorknob, yeah, that's a big rounded doorknob. You're screwed, man. You ain't getting that door open. And he didn't.

Spoilers. Too late now. So yeah, I like the impalement. We got a good amount of blood. So yeah, again, I'm fine with the rest of the stuff.

The girl's innards coming outards. Lots of holding innards. Gotta love that. So yeah, the gore was all pretty good. Fake within the story and real within the story.

It was all pretty fun. I like that stuff. So, super extra bonus ending. What did you think about the blood turning into the witch's symbol? I figured that would also piss you off.

The witch's symbol that had nothing to do with the fucking books, whatever. Exactly. But she exists in the movie Quadrology. Yeah, because... Because they brought her up in the other things.

And they didn't have Sarah Fear written on the wall in the bathroom. So she is in-universe now. Now we're creating our own little movie. Now, if it had said, for a good time, call Sarah Fear. That'd be pretty hot.

That'd be funny. Who doesn't want some witch action? But I do. Like, again, it was super cheesy. But I was like, yeah, it's fine.

Again, it fits with this Fear Street universe we've created, so I'm fine with it. Again, without knowing, though, it makes no real sense. Like, everyone else who is super casually watching this movie went, wait, what was that? The hell did it just do? So, it's only for the real fans who hate this movie because they read the book.

Out of the four movies that we watched. This is the worst. No offense. I think this is fine. But I enjoyed the other three more.

Mostly the last half of the third. The third one is the weakest of those. Yeah, the whole timey one. I didn't like the old timey part. No, the old timey is boring as hell.

But the end goes back to the 90s and hangs out at the mall and finishes the story from the first one. So you kind of need it. The second one exists in its own 70s world. I enjoyed that one the most. That's the best one.

The second one is the best. The first one is my next favorite. The third is okay because I like the second half of it. And then this one's fine on its own. It's also...

It's great. Again, it's great for what it is. But it's still the worst of these four. I liked it better than the first half of the third movie. I'll give you that.

I don't... Yeah, the first... Well, it's just so long. Like, if it was like a 15-minute flashback, it'd be great. But it's half of the movie.

And it's so boring. I'm like, okay, I get it. She's... put upon and she has to hide that she wants to be a witch or whatever. Who cares? I thought she was hiding that she wanted to be with a girl.

Well, that's obviously that reason. That's the reason she's a witch. Every lesbian is a witch. We all know that. And I thought I was going to offend everybody when I said retarded.

I think everyone knows I'm being facetious. Everyone knows I'm just an asshole. Oh, we know that. Yeah. What, is this your first episode?

Come on, we all know that. I'm sorry. They don't have any way to contact me, do they? Because I don't want that hate mail. It's fine.

You can have all that hate mail. Nobody cares. Nobody cares enough to hate. That's what I've realized. There's a lot of hate out there.

Does anybody listen to this show? No, not at all. And it's fine. I remember we got hate mail once because I made fun of redheads. A lot.

Yeah. It was a whole episode. Soulless gingers. Yeah. But I find many redhead girl attractive now.

So what are you going to do? Depends on which kind of redhead they are, which we probably shouldn't get into. Well, no, I even think like there are plenty that are like legit redheads and they're almost to the point of referring to as a gender, even though that's probably not approved of by them. But there are even several of those now that I'm like, nope. She's hot.

So I don't have a problem with specifics, but that's true of everyone. So I don't generalize. I dislike most people overall. And then I pick and choose which ones I like. Mostly hot chicks.

Yeah. Occasionally a cool dude. But, you know, when do you run into cool people? So. I just watch cool chicks on movies and TV, and I'm like, I like them.

And then that's my interaction for the rest of my life. This was the most I've been out with people in quite a while. I know, it's exhausting. I'm hungry. It is.

So with that, we better wrap up. So, y'all loved it. I hated it. You didn't hate it for real. It's tolerable.

I hated it as a Fear Street movie. As a Fear Street tie-in, you hated it. As a regular old slasher movie, it's fine. That's my takeaway. I've seen a lot of crap.

It's not as bad as a lot of that, so it's fine. It's in the middle somewhere as slashery movies go. It's not the best, but it's certainly not the worst either, so it's fine. It's ish. It's fine.

Your list is way bigger than my list. Yeah, I had a lot of shit to write down. Did you get through most of it? It was mostly just stuff that was going on in case we ran out of things to rant about, but we had plenty of things to rant about, so it's fine. I think I covered everything on my list.

Front and back. There it is. It is on a post-it note. For senior advocacy. For Geritol.

My main note for Empire of the Dark was Velcro shoes and sweatpants. I thought that was just your outfit while you were watching it. I don't wear sweatpants. I don't have Velcro. Oh, hold on.

Okay, I did specifically the other day I was talking about how I've already just penciled in that I'm going to have the old people's sketchers because I was talking to an old person who had old people's sketchers on and I was like, I'm not going to make fun of you because I'll be wearing those in a few years because I already hurt trying to get down to put them in. I'm an old man as it is. I like my chucks, but I know eventually I'm not even going to be able to get down there and get them on because chucks are all floppy and stuff. They're not like, at least like a hard shoe you can shove your foot in. Chucks, you got to put in effort, man.

And I'm willing to do it. Unlike that one girl we saw in there who was just stepping on the back of her shoes. Oh, my God. That was a nightmare. I have issues with people.

I don't like sandals. I don't like people with no backs on their shoes. I don't like Crocs. Any of your weird slip-ins, no back action. Like, I don't like them.

That girl's shoes are over there across the street. It doesn't have a back on it. I don't like it. If I'm going to bother to put on a shoe, I want it to have a back. I like that I can lace it up and keep it on my foot in case I need to run.

At any moment, I'm convinced the slasher is going to come out behind me, and I'm going to need to run. That's why Crocs have the sports gear attachment on the back. You can throw the little nubs. What are the little things called? I don't know.

I don't fucking know what Crocs are. Yeah, but you make fun of people with Crocs. I figured you'd know. It has a name. I can't remember.

All I know is you're putting it in sports mode. Only because I know I watched the collector's call of the dude that has a million. Crocs in his... His entire house is Crocs. It was kind of a nightmare.

But Blair figured it out. She's got it. She's on top of that shit. But he has a whole bunch of those collector versions. Those little nubs you shove in there too.

So I guess if he's in trouble you pop them off and throw them at people. I did see something that had truck nuts on them. Oh god. The only thing more horrifying than Crocs cross with truck nuts yikes anyway this girl was stepping on the back of her shoes which i've actually seen people do but not in a long time it might be throwback to the 80s because i feel like that's like a dumb high school kid thing to do and this was a grown-ass woman so why she was doing that i do not know but there she was an abomination yeah but other than that everybody else was cool i i got along with the nerds as best as i could i try not to interact or come in contact with them and We made a round and we looked at stuff and toys and models.

Anyway, we had a good time. So thank you to Wonderfest for letting us come and be part of the action. Yeah. You should go to wonderfest.com and then you can start planning your trip here next year. Because they've already figured it out.

They're always on top of things. They've already got the weekend mapped out in a year in advance. They're already... suckering in people to come already right now in there now they're making deals getting people back already so you go to the website and get yourself here next year and then you can see us sitting outside talking about a movie probably because this is normally what we do now it's just sit outside and talk about toys and movies and other random geek things that's how wonderfest rolls it's geeks man we just come out here and talk about geek things Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next time. Same geek feed.

Thanks for listening. Bye. Jenny says she don't want to be depressed because she looks so good in a satin dress. And we're playing the drum. Trevor's sad.

He don't want to be mad. But his touch got dirty that he borrowed from his dad. And we're playing the drum. Yeah, we're playin' the prom The jock's all cleaned up, we're all impressed But who's. That girl that watched you wearin' my dress?

Yeah, we're playin' the prom The gymnasium never looks so. Good We're the best fuckin' school in the neighborhood. And we're playin' the prom Yeah, we're paying the price Woo-hoo! Guitar solo. Here we go.

Yeah. So grab a girl or grab a guy. You better be drunk because we're already high. We're playing. We're playing the punk.

We're going. To play all the songs from your favorite groups. Rush, ACDC, Hot League Group. Yeah, we're playing the punk. Is there some kind of sports thing going on?

Guys, I keep seeing girls in sports outfits. I don't know. You think I pay attention to sports? If I pay attention to sports, would I be at this nerd fest? But short shorts.

I like girls in short shorts, I can tell you that. As much as I don't like sports, girls wearing sport uniforms is super hot. Like, kind of all of them. Basketball girls? Soccer girls?

Let me tell you why I'm so into yellow jackets. Soccer girls? What about pickleball uniforms? I don't know, do they have uniforms? I don't know.

Is there like a professional pickleball league? Yeah, because that one guy who used to be a tennis player won. Sounds like cheating. Yeah. Been practicing his life.

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