NOISE JUNKIES - Strip Club from Hell

Remember the stories that kept you awake at night. They're living in that closet, Doctor Fenner, Can you still hear the screams? I love having the children for dinner, All from your television set in the night Gallery, A dark chide Midnight Viewing the Horror Anthology Podcast join hosts fatherm Alone, Mike White, and Christashu as they exhume some of the most infamous horror television of all time. Midnight Viewing from weirding Way Media Time weird Way. A few things can tap into our most bass and primal urges quite like music.

I'm talking pure great double aid fuel Baby, the right song kit, and he is the best and middling writhing, wriggling and undulating dance. Imagine the visual image of all of your carnal fantasies moving to the beat of a song most delectable, seductive in crates helle, even raunchy. But what if this infamous Salome had skabies while she was shook it and jiving in this quick Alabama As the uterus drying tones of Mary mcgreggor's tour between two lovers plays. This is the unholy ground we are visiting tonight here on Noise junkies. It's trip club from hell time.

There's a two drink minimum and in the meantime, I hope you've all had your shots because it's about to get straight up nasty. And speaking of nasty, now you're right, kid, I can't no, no, no no. I am Heather Draine at one of the noise Junkies, and I'm so happy to see my brothers, my brethren here starting off with the wonderful, the affersive, never boboosive. I don't even know if that means bottom alone. Hey, I've never been referred to as baboosive, but I'm going to definitely adopt it from now on.

Hey, fellow noise junkies, it's been a minute. I'm glad to be back in the back in the booth, booth, the hangar. I don't know what we have. A layer isn't a layer. It is a layer.

It's a layer. Now a layer it out and of course are fantastic the man with the brain, but he gives us no pain. I'm talking about the one and only HP. Think how can I follow up that that introduction? Thank you so much.

I'm so happy to be here with you guys and it's been a while, and let's let's do it. Let's talk music. Oh my gosh, I know a YouTube I have been itching. Absolutely all of the scratching is making me itched. To quote a buffalo gals.

But before we get to our deep dive of iniquity and lyridness, we guys talk about are what we've been listening to? What's been spinnin on the old vinyl deck or metaphorically final deck. But that's soundedly bad. But hb, what have you what's been what has been haunting your ears lately? In the most delectable way?

I love that. So yeah, So usually I come up with an album that I'm listening to, but this week's a little different. So there's an apocryphal story that one time someone walked up to Jimmy Hendrick and asked him what's it like to be the best guitarist in the world, And, according to the myth, Hendricks replied, I don't know, You'll have to ask Rory Gallaher. So I've been listening to Rory Gallaher. Now Gallagher, if for folks who don't know, was one of the pre eminent blues singer guitarists of the late sixties and early seventies.

That's when he got to start along with folks like the aforementioned Hendrix Clapton, Alvin Lee, so on and so forth. I've been a fan of Gallagher since I saw him featured with his band the Power Trio Taste in the movie Message to Love the Isle of Wight Festival nineteen seventy. They performed in an incredible set and if you watch the movie of their set, they were one of the few that actually got called back for an encore, which is cool when you're dealing with a set, you know, a group that includes the Doors, the who all of these great bands. Taste was incredible and Rory Gallaher was amazed, so he is. Crowd were so angry, and yet they're like we like you, so there and that's and I will get into Message Still Love.

It's one of my favorite documentaries of all time. If you haven't seen it, see it. But it's kind of like the dark side of the Summer of Love. But and they built it with their love, you bastards. That's a that's a direct quote of the mc ricky Fantastic Again.

Gallaher is commonly referred to as the greatest guitarist you've never heard of, which is really a damn shame in my opinion. Musicians like Brian May, Bob geldof the Edge and so many more sight Rory Gallaher is both a favorite and a primary influence, and he had a wide palllette of styles. He could play hard electric blues, he could do an acoustic blues folk, he could play an incredibly searing slide guitar, and his live shows were legendary and in fact, in nineteen seventy four, he famously insisted on playing in Belfast during the violent conflict in Northern Ireland. This is a time where very few artists would choose to play there is dangerous, and he didn't care. He was a man of the people.

Fun fact, Rory bought his iconic sixty one Fender Stradcaster in nineteen sixty three for one hundred pounds at a little music store in Court. Legend has it it was actually the first stratocaster ever to reach Ireland, which is pretty amazing. And also according to Rory's brother Donnell, who was his tour manager for his whole life, Rory had a rare blood type that caused his sweat to be especially acidic, and this caused the finish on his Sunburst strat to wear off over time, all the way down to the wood. It's if you ever see pictures of his beaten up old stratocaster, you'll see that there's hardly any finish left. He's just worn through it because of the power and strength of his live shows and all the sweat, the acidic sweat, kind of like an alien or something coming off of his body and stripping the finish off of his guitar.

It's remarkable. He might have been an alien, he might have come down from Seriously, is I've never heard of anybody's sweat being so acidic that it would wear through the finish on a guitar, coupled with the talent, is my point? Well, he really he was kind of like a throwback to a real authentic blues man. He was this kind of guy who he didn't like recording in the studio. He didn't like doing much of anything except coming into town, breaking out his band and his guitar is, playing an incredible set, and then on to the next town.

That's all he wanted to do in life. He didn't have time for relationships. He didn't have time for any of that stuff. He just played his music, wanted to get it out to the most number of people that he could and move on. And sadly he died far too young, but he left a wonderful catalog of which I would recommend.

If you want to have a primer of Rory Gallaher, you should check out the song sinner Boy, which is one of the songs he performed at the Isle of Wight in nineteen seventy. And his solo catalog is incredible too. He has a song called Laundromat which is off his first solo album, which is fantastic, and he does an amazing cover of a lead Belly song called Out on the Western Plains, which I'm sure we'll be playing right now. I mean a bunch of cowboys and Jesse James Hey the magic editing. Did he ever do a shitty cover of I Shout the Sheriff or cross Roads anything?

Thank you for bringing that up, because I'm you know, we're not here as noise chunkies to really crap. I mean, if you love Eric Clapton, that's your business. Oh no, no, I'll crap on on Craptain. Yeah, we getcause Annoy is junkie United Front. I think, you know, everyone's allowed to like what they like, and certainly people grew up with that and whatever.

Fucks that guy and fuck his music. It was always anemic to begin with. First of all, I never believed his fucking white boy bullshit just covering great black bluesmen from the fucking United States South and and on top of everything, the horrible, horrible racism. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to get away from his historically documented instances.

Over someone who claims to be an exponent of the blues and the authentic blues, he definitely has some very regressive worldviews and he's apparently, at least when he was still strung out on heroin and drunk, he said a lot of nasty things live. So yeah, if you're gonna knock on him, for sure, that's target number one. Yeah, I mean, let's be honest, he was the weak link in cream. I could not agree more with you. Jack Bruce was a fort well ginger Baker was.

I mean it begins and ends there. The man was a force of nature. But Jack Bruce with credible bass player. He is a wonderful voice. I agree.

I would say that's a true statement, and we'll probably get into that. Maybe we'll have a future episode of you know Bands we want to shoot on and that'll be number one. Eric Eric Clapton should have called his album Raping the Blues because that's what he did. It's what he said. Fuck that guy.

But we are but your HP, your point, we are noise chunkies. We do. We talk from love. I love your picks. I also am today's years old learning that Rory it's Roy Gallagher.

I'm saying Gallagher like a nube all these years, so I'm glad to be informed. Yeah. Well, if nothing else, I love on our during this podcast to be able to shine a light on musicians and bands that maybe aren't so well known. But I would say run, don't walk to your local record store or go to Spotify. Check out Rory Gallaher.

If you love great blues, authentic blues, and you will and in any style you want, you won't be disappointed. So Rory Gallaher, go check them out. Hell yeah, I love that. I love that pic. I love your description of it, your passion, it's so cool.

And speaking of passion and speaking of men, who might be from out of this world, deep within this world. Unfortunately, what you've been listening to, you guys, ever, get so monomania call that. You just find a song and then you play it over and over and over again, like you've put it on repeat, you know, yes, yes, right, and you'll listen to it for you know, hours, Okay, until I get sick of it. Yeah, okay, just make it sure, because I feel like I'm mutant sometimes because I've always been this way, and it used to be really hard to be that way, because to listen to a song over and over again, it wasn't as easy as putting it on repeat. You would have to put it on a tape and make the tape of that tape and then keep making tapes of that tape to get that song once over and over again, and then you put it on av repeat once it got into the tape recorder.

Anyway, So a song recently popped into my head that kind of did this to me. It was on a soundtrack album from nineteen eighty five. I didn't own that album, but it was hard to escape that year. As soon as I named the flick You're gonna know the song it's from Mad Max Beyond Thundered Out. Now it's not we Don't Need Another Hero?

Okay, that's the wildly pot radio song. The song, by the way, is by Tina Turner The Lake Grantina Turner. Okay, do you guys know the song that I'm talking about here? One of the Living, One of the fucking Living, which is the great song opening song. See we don't Need Another Hero.

It was a perfect song to end that movie. It's a perfect song for the end credits. But One of the Living, Holy God, it's the perfect song to open the movie. You know, some songs have an ineffable quality when they're on a soundtrack. They have a meaning beyond their meaning for the film.

You don't need to have maybe fallen in love with a spy who loved you. But you know, when you're listening to Carly Simon singing, you might be able to imagine somebody when they're saying nobody does it better, or maybe you're hoping somebody's thinking it about you. But some songs sort of transcended. This song does not do that. This song is not interested in that.

This song is from the fucking Mad Max movie. Listen to some lyrics in this song, this is Tina Turner saying, can't tell them they always living. No, you can't stop the pain of your children crying out in your head. Oh they always said that the living would envy the dead. These are this is the happening to this song for this movie.

Right. The song is a fucking perfect encapsulation of nineteen eighties sort of power rock ballad is so perfect because it has Tina Turner who is turned her attention to rock and roll at this point. Right, this is her sort of comeback period, and thank god she did, because rock and roll needed her as much she remember, do you remember songs and youth that used to talk about how rock and roll was like never gonna die? Right at the time, I almost used to think, well, yeah, naturally it's dead. It's dead.

I'm sorry. The song it has everything you could ever want. It has like industrial drums, and it has a big saxophone from a big saxophone player. Because Tim Cappello is on the album. Yeah yes, he send both songs from Tina Turner on this thing.

And what's weird is in the movie Tina Turner's character Aunt the entity my favorite mad Max villain character namer character name in general audientity. She has a saxophone player, but it's a chubby guy and a diaper, and it should be Tim Capello in that hypnotic fucking cod piece of his anyway, just a total missed opportunity. Anyway. Okay, One of the Living the songs written by Holly Knight. Okay, Oh I love Holly Knight.

Yeah, it's okay. Good if you don't know who she is. First of all, she's playing keyboards and singing backup on One of the Living right. Here are some of her other tunes she's written. She did songs for Legend of Billy Jean and Vision Quest Thelman Louise.

She wrote the theme song for the TV series Angel and She'll always have a place in my heart for writing Here Comes the Bride of Frankenstein for el Vier, the bride broke down and here's a joy. Well I'm actually she fell apart. Oh my god, oh god. Hollien was also in a really underrated band called Device. I highly recommend anybody to seek out Device for a fantastic band and obsession.

She co wrote with Michael Debar If you can I think you can hear that demo on YouTube. Now the original demo with her and Michael Cassion. It has a different tenor than they had emotion, but it's fantastic. It's a lot more sinister and sexual because Michael Dubarre, Hello, he's so amazing, so good. Yeah, I love Holly Night, So what a cool pick.

I didn't know. I didn't know she did this absolutely and here's She's fantastic. I had remembered the song from the film right. In fact, I saw this film opening day, so I remember hearing it for the first time, and I thought it was unusual to be hearing a song being sung by an actor in the movie. For my I don't know eighty five, so it was what we were thirteen twelve twelve.

In my head, I was like, is this supposed to be from her character's point of view? Or is this Tina Turners like Anyway, when I started listening to this song, I've been listening to the kun on the album. Obviously I watched the movie. The track that opens the movie is different. It's a it's like the demo version.

It's like what they recorded on the set and then just threw into the movie, and then she re recorded it it's so much better than the fucking polished album version. It's loose and rough and it feels desperate, just like the movie. Anyway, both versions are great. Tina Turner one of the Living Go check it out, and I love this is. Each one of us always picked something so wildly different from each other, so it's like a sampler, like we're doing a sampler pilatter because my pit is there's a band I recently have discovered thanks to my friend Bradley J.

Cornish who does the Movies from Health podcast, And this is a British band called the Cardiacs. And how I have not discovered this band until recently, I have no idea is they formed in the early eighties and oh my god, it's if you love Mister Bungle and Sea Shanties and Frank Zappa and I don't know, motherfucking brilliance, check this band out. The Cardiacs are phenomenal. Their stuff is not on Spotify, but it's on YouTube. Definitely look out for the song tard and Feathered, and there's also a whole video it's like twenty two minutes they did called Seaside Treats, which has like irreverence surrealism, humor, great editing.

It's just the songs are so phenomenal, and like the wordplay that the lead singer in Mang Guy Tim, who's no longer with us, but he's so his workplay is phenomenal. He's such a poet in his like time, like if you're somebody that geeks out over time signatures and just being like wow, there's like three or four different songs going on at once, but it's seamless. This band does that, and there's They're just but yeah, it's unlike anything I've ever heard. I have been so obsessed with them. I've been listening to them NonStop for weeks, to the point where I'm probably gonna if I ever get a tattoo, I make it with this year.

I am not tattooed, but but I know, but if I do, I make it something Cardiacs related. I'm that in love with them. We'll see. But but since we do do a Spotify list, my Spotify big that is available is and I'll send There's an individual track called La La La La La, but it's off the Deep Throat Anthology compilation, which has the soundtrack to both Deep Throat one and deep Throat too. Deep Throat of course that adult film Golden Age classic that helped Usher import over Chic, made by octoerg stordinair Gerard Damiano.

I'm a huge Domiano fan and he was a complete artist. I'm familiar with his work, and Deep Throat had such a bonker soundtrack because it had original soundtrack. It includes like the most demented cover of Love is Strange, the Mickey and Sylvia song. I do also like the Johnny Thunders cover that, but that's either here nor there that but Deep Throat Too, It's a terrible movie. Donmiato did not make it.

That was just sorry now and it's R rated, and it seems so bizarre to me to make a sequel to all films deep Throat and not make it sexual, not have Deep Throat in it, like but they just they just said, like I was just like, oh, shadows in the corner, like if you see that. I don't even do that. I mean there's like word allusions, but it's like you know, like, oh, you mean that my secret tingle or whatever. I don't know. I showed up Deep Throat, the witty banter deeper.

It's got some great lines. Come on, do you mind if I smoke while you eat? And the guy's about to go down on her? That's just hilarious. I love that.

Yeah, there's some great there's some great lines and Deep Beret, I will fucking bite for this movie. Okay, But would if you remove the pornography, would you still say it's a great movie? I mean it kind of. But the whole thing is, like, the whole plot of the movie is cursed on the pornograph exactly. So the script works in tandem with the images.

You can't exactly it's integrated, like two Loves, but you gotta say it like that too loves. But but but Deep third two has a really great pieces of music that are very if you're into like lounge music like I am, like imagine like swanky Barberella type lounge music. It has that. And there's one song on it that's completely derivative of Spooky by the classics. For but I love Spooky and I'm even happy to hear a loungee derivative of it.

So but there's one that goes like la la, and it's called that you know, And then again it's just a lady going Linda al I mean, and it's great, it's great, that's my Spotify pick. But seriously check out the cardiacs. They are fucking amazing me and huh oh, I will, I will, I'll be sending I'll send some links. But speaking of amazing and terrifying, without further ado, our main feature coming to the stage, Strip Club from Hell. This is where the three of us have been tasked with picking three songs that are going to do the complete opposite.

As you might have gathered from the intro of tantalizing and exotic dancers, wares, whares, movements, chance, sir, some of us get a little prosy, some of us are just going straight to the rotted road kill meat of it all. And well, I think, yeah, me, But since you spoke up fun them alone, take us to the Okay, before I take us to the actual venue, I just wanted to want to say this was actually a difficult assignment because even songs that you think, well that could not be sexy could be sex Like the It's difficult to find a song where the music and emotion of the tune are so completely off that you would never want to hear it. I think so my choices will test that theory, Father Malone, I hope. So here's the thing.

For me, what I avoided was that I didn't want any sort of like obvious children's songs, you know what I mean, anything like that, just anything that isn't sort of naturally ironic. But anyway, for the for my first choice, I'm going to a real world venue. This is in Massachusetts, TB's Golden Banana, world famous. I've read across from the Caabaret, another famous local establishment. Never been to the Cabaret, but oh I've Oh you were missed out.

Oh you went to the Cabaret several times. Yeah, ah, I do, HP and I HP and I went to the Golden Banana together, Howard we did? It was okay, here we go, ready, Golden Bananas. I have it in my head, go for it that you do. Tonight we are at the Golden Banana, which is overlid to the extreme.

That's right. You can see all of your fellow perverts and startling detail all around you taking the stage. It's a Joe casta, all hair curlers and housecoat, facial moisturizer smeared just so for that ultimate evocation of that minx. Missus downfire, and the club's sound system is pumping out Mother by the police from synchronicity. That's right, Andy Summer's ode to the paranoia and codependent bonds found between mother and son.

And it's a knight of negliges and neuroses as Joe cast appeels mac layers of lavender scented holly hobby night shirt and childhood trauma in equal measure. If the song's jangly a rhythmia doesn't set you on edge, then perhaps Jocasta's chiding, disappointed glare will push you into full blown clinical sexiness. She extends the aerial of a cordless house phone and slices through her already porous legs pantehose. Yes, that telephone is ringing, Yes, it's mother roper phone. Sidling to the edge of the stage, she lifts her now bare leg and hovers her foot over an empty glass.

Producing a can of tab from somewhere within the folds of the house coat, she pours a shot down her leg and into the glass. The journey is long, as the effervescent river must navigate a landscape of depilatory damage and Verico's veins, But it will taste all the sweeter. Please, mother, don't devour me. Let this poor boy enjoy his one calorie beverage. It's brimming with flavor, just like Joe Casta asked her ask her boy Eddie, Oh my lord that why did I have you start?

Because that'd be NHP gotta follow that. Okay, First of all, you used to I love that also, I said from hell that from heaven. Oh my god, I'm sliding off the seat. No, I'm sorry, but me this the fact that you are, you're bringing in not only something that is connective tissue for you in HP. Yes, as young lads Banana and and my worst not my worst ever, but it's certainly a nightmare, which is somebody dancing to that song but actually really embodying the songs.

Can we agree that's the worst Police song in their whole catalog? Ooh, I will not commit to that until I have their entire catalog in front of me. I don't think that. Yeah, I'm with them on on that. That's that's hard.

That's hard, yeah, I I well, I mean they've only got what six or seven albums. I'm not as familiar with their catalog as maybe I should be. But in fact, without having seen the catalog in front of me, I'm going to disagree and say that there's probably a song worse than Mother. I can listen to Mother just to skip a roney for me. Yeah, yeah, that's I don't want to see a stripper performed to it at all.

No, that we can agree on. But I don't know the tab, the thea China tag. Oh is that amplication? It's from somewhere, from somewhere, she's using her nethers as the as nature's igloo cooler. I don't recommend that listen.

By the way, this show did exist, and that's why the Golden Banana is now closed. No, I'm kidding. That's that we're closed now right, h they're still operating. Oh my god, maybe I should take this back. So then assume me.

I think I think dB is no longer with us, but it's certain. I think it's still the pride of word one in Danvers. It's still there. Let me tag, but still be proud. It's right like the cabaret may be gone, though that I'm not sure about.

Damn. Now I'll never get to see Amateur Night on Tuesday Night. I love it that you called it the scabaret HP. I noticed that word play. Yeah, well that that I can't take credit for that.

That's just regionally how it's colloquially sort of referred to. But it's a very accurate nom de plume as a number. HP. Did you ever the Squire? I've never been.

I've driven by it a million times, but I've never actually been to the Squire of you. No, I have not been. The hometown and Revere right, yeah, Revere, Massachusetts. There's one strict the Squire strip. It's just like on the Outskirts, but it's over next to this gigantic movie theater.

Yeah. I never went to the Squire. Is it owned by Billy Billy Squire? Oh no. The funny thing is it's actually owned by Chris Squire from Yes, in fact that I love.

I love Chris Squire. You know what else? I love hearing what you have to offer for your first choice, HP, bring met I will bring it? Is that a tab? Did you just take a swig of tab?

That was my other choice. It's gonna be fresca. There you go. No tab is a good call. Do they still make tab?

By the way, can you still buy it? Yes? Welcome to the cheatahs playpen. That's rather slow for a Tuesday morning, but let's be honest, it's slow all the time. Things just haven't been the same in this town since the Ford factory shut down.

Clarence Butdinger wanders in and takes his usual place at the bar. His wife left him nearly six months ago and took the kids with her. But Bud's always been a glass half full kind of guy, so he's looking at this as time well spent to do some work on himself. And by do some work on himself, that means drink until he can no longer remember his own name. Bud smiles at the bartender and motions for a drink.

The bartender returns his smile with a scowl, pours cheap whiskey in a dirty shot glass. It snarls, this is all you get, Bud, until you pay your tab, drink up and get the hell out of here. With a wink, Bud toasts to your health and throws down the whiskey with barely a grimace. Bud catches the eye of the dancer wandering on stage. She goes by lovely Lena, even though everyone knows she's Nancy Billings, the ex police chief's youngest daughter.

She limps her way over to Bud. He whispers something into her ear, to which she replies, oh, the usual. Follow me. She leads him to a cold, bare room to the left of the stage, but hands are a battered cassette tape, which she puts into an old boombox in the corner and hits play. The sound of Melissa Manchester's nineteen seventy eight hit Don't cry Out Loud creep in over the small radio's blown speakers.

Melissa Manchester's wounded voice fills the space. Don't just keep it inside, I can't climb. Melissa Manchester was one of his ex wife's favorite singers, and this song reminds him of the good times. Well, actually there weren't too many of those, come to think of it, but at least it reminds him of any time that wasn't now. At least Bud could feel something for the precious minutes the song played for it.

Nancy lumbers around the room in a poor imitation of dance, while Bud closes his eyes and smiles. Yes, indeed, he thinks to himself, it's going to be a good day today you god damn so, oh my god, oh my leg like tears. I've been on such a journey with that. I went to depressed to like cry for help, to utter sheer delight, Oh yeah, utter elation. That choice good work.

Don't cry loud just somehow, yeah, that was the when the brief came down for this, that somehow was one of the first songs I thought of. Was because I don't know, I've always hated that song so over rot and overly like historionic, and I not just I don't hate Melissa Manchester or whatever. She's fine, but I used to hear that song all the time on the radio when my mom would drive me to school and stuff, and it's just so I don't know, man, it's just as song. By the way, what the fuck don't cry out? I just keep it inside, Like the fuck are you talking about it?

Oh? We're age kill. It is peculiar. The message really is just don't express your feelings. If you're feeling sad, just keep it all bottled up inside and learn how to hide those feelings.

It's a awful the Manchester just shut your mouth? Who hurt you? Girl? What a big song? Does her baby take the Morning Train.

He work, No, that was she did Melissa Manchester. Did Gloria be smirched? My queen? Laura brand again? Okay, oh then she did not do self contracts also Laura Brandon.

Yeah, oh my god, I'm about to you now. I'm just because you just build up with that story. Man, Laura Brandigan's gonna haunt you. Dude. You know she did?

You know what she did? I forgot about this song. This is also a terrible song. You should hear how she talks about you. Oh I love that song.

That's a good song. I have apt for that song. I mean it's it's better than Don't Cry out Loud. Well, that's a very low bar over understanding My baby takes the Morning Train. Yea, And this song is terrible.

Oh yeah, that's a terrible song. But if it was Manchester, she would get a pass because it was Melissa Manchester. For Easton, that's a terrible song for she. Easton agreed, agreed. She needs Prince.

Yeah, I was gonna say that this was not Sugar Walls. She really needs Prince to you know, Jusra up her for sure. You know Malone's dancer, she had Sugar free walls. She did, It's brimming with flavor. That's that was Tend's actual like their first slogan was it's brit flavor.

Oh god, it's just you can't make the ship up so perfect. Oh my god. Well I believe it's my turn. Let's hear this all right? Well, show ladies and chance coming to the stage.

Over here at the Grits and Gravy is Mollie rug Rash Turpentine if you love scabbinees, tramp stamps of Wahlon Jennings dressed as the Morton Salt Girl, and random home invasions that are. Mollie is a sweetheart of your Heart and boins her song of choice, the full eight minutes and thirty seconds album cut of do O Way by Blood Rock. As the Sirens. In this classic rock ode to dying in a plane crash go Off, Mollie shows off her finest water sprinkler dance. This little Philly also has a little party trick in the form of a fake arm that she likes to remove when the singer cries out.

I tried to move my arm and thesh no feeling, and when I look, she there's nothing there. Mollie's also an for take it. Smoke breaks at the six minute march. She's doubles as a side hustle whenever she's able to weasel a handy from a lovey audience member using her artificial appensives were flying out and is something in home? That is a fantastic choice.

I didn't. I only recently, in the last few years, learned about that song. Da, that is a ridiculous fucking song. I love it. It's a plane crash, right, That's the whole thing.

Is a guy who's in a plane crash, and it's him dying and the blood is leaving his body as he's reflected. It's awful. It's an awful song. It was bay like farriers, like radio stations wouldn't play it. They refuse to play it.

What fact I found out when researching for this episode that I thought was really haunting is I guess it was a popular choice to play in Vietnam. I could see that, But I mean it was a very confusing time. Yeah, I'll get my mask. Let's just say I was testing the bonds of reality. I wonder if I wonder if young Oliver Stone was listening to it.

Oh Dari the Jumbles Dream and it was yours biopic. Oh my god. You know, honestly, I would I wish for Vietnam era movies would use something like this as opposed to hearing like you know, fucking c CR or the eightieth Time. Yeah, like we had it already. Yeah, it's a fortunate because he didn't serve in The Whooper.

It's a purty the four times. We're still a band at sixty nine the end. They probably listened to them in Vietnam to come on baby. But but yeah, I just that was my immediate pick. I For years, I have like thought about the Ultimate Strip Club from Hell playlist, and this has always been one of my top choices.

And I now, ironically I would love to see a stripper dance to this. But it gets it gets tricky, right, Like you can actually imagine like, will you know what if they did this and that with it? You have to tailor the act to the song or else it becomes sexy. Yeah, well that's the thing it would like. I'm not this is no bumping grind.

This. You know, we're talking art here. We're talking handyes, we're talking side hustles. We're talking taking lemons and saying lemons, I love lemons so or lemons ye me guinea guinea so yes, that is my cook. Now pick number two, fathom alone, take us away on this magical voyage.

We'll be taking the detour with my next choice. That's not a State Highway mandated detour, but it will require you to take the upcoming off ramp and then left and a quarter of a mile beyond that. If you've reached the truck stop, you've gone too far. You know the club, You've seen it advertised on billboards for the past four hundred miles. Images of corn fed dames filled in your mind, those Midwest farmers daughters, sung about so innocently by Brian Wilson and so gone damn lasciviously by Diamond Dave.

They've got to be the main attraction out here in the middle of nowhere. So many packed tight agricultural schools. Can you imagine the flesh unsullied by the vice and corruption of urban sprawling American cities. Another billboard, that's your exit. Welcome to Ruby and Pearl, Southern Wyoming's answer to the Moolong Rooms.

Tuesday night is Amateur Night. Every night is Ladies Night. This is actually technically ruby and pearls too. The original sat on that burnt out concrete slab a couple hundred yards over that way. But that place was real lowe class and hardly anyone remembers it.

The dude don't recall it ever, being very good, well, almost every Please put your hands together for Agnes. It ain't for years. It's the mileage. Agnes is a hyphenet. She has both son I call her a veteran, if so happy veteran today, and she's indulging her theatrical sign tonight, beginning her performance, seated at a vanity mirror at the center of the club's meager stage.

That sorrowful tinkling of the ivories can only mean one thing. Here they come God, and so will you, dancing to You Don't Bring Me Flowers by Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond. Agnes, Agnes, you couldn't wait to love mester, hate to leave, still lovely, but it's good. You'll feel it all around. Relived the end of that era of excess that was the nineteen seventies, as all the boomer dreams of free love and zero responsibilities begin to crumble in every direction, but first in their own hearts.

Now, come on, fellows, let's toss up a bit of cash like it used to be. They'll just lay on the floor till Agnes sweeps them away. She's teaching you to laugh and lie in equal measure as she disinterestedly lets her clothing drop and the puddle on the ground. Is she crying? Are you?

Agnes is clad in a floral print, matching bra and g strength. It represents not just a literal interpretation of you don't bring me flowers, but it can be seen as a symbol of the entire flower power movement, like that Sad Generations nationwide temper tantrum. It hits at something greater beneath. But let's not forget it's Agnes up there. A blue spotlight bathes or it's a color.

They have casinos enhances your age. They have avoid mirrors there as well. Agnes is a hypheness. She has both. What she doesn't have is he.

But that's okay. Just roll over it and turn out the light. I'm talking to you, Joe the lighting guy. Turn it off. Joe, turn it off.

Oh my god, Olay, I like, wow, that's you. Know a callback to the spoken Word episode. There are moments in that that I think are positively Ken Nordeen esque, all the highest praise I could ever receive, certainly not warranted, but thank you. No, It's like when you say, you know, is she crying? Are you?

That's totally out of the Nordean handbook right there? Okay, Well that's just me, you know, swiping from the best. Nah, it's an excellent, excellent coal. I'm with HP all the way and take you must take your compliment, goodserve. That was phenomenal also on so many levels, phenomenal writing and speaking, but also phenomenal choice, because lord, I feel like whatever the opposite infertility is caused by that fucking song there there are people cows become barren if somebody is playing that fucking song nearby.

I remember as a HP, like Houston, I remember hearing a song that my mother playing that song or not She's not playing on the radio, but sitting in the backseat of the car while Neil Diamond Barbostrais and wine to each other that their fucking horrible relationship was finally over and see seething even then at the Boomers, Well, this was a bit we were probably our moms were probably listening to the same radio station because that was invariably that would come around at some point. You don't bring these flowers and you know it's it was very much you know, adult contemporary radio at that point was filled with songs like that. Remember you Light Up My Life, Debbie Boone? You remember there was a they did a TV movie Who Is Dde Kohane played Debbie Boone?

It was her life story, like it was that interesting. I mean, did you think or did you know, did Diddy Kohn going to step up like like Val Kilmer and that bio Pick of the Doors by Oliver Stone and got a rock I don't. I don't think she did a sissy space like Cole Liner's daughter. I think she she lip sync did that's way below and tone that that was hilarious And yes, I think that's my memory to HP that is that it was a total lip sync a lip sync job. Also, I think honorable mention in Cliff Richards one of the like it's so funny how weed don't people?

Oh? I like that song? I like that song? So do you know what you how do? I love that song?

Get out of here. I'm sorry, Devil woman or nothing when it comes to friendship for me, because devil Woman rules, you gotta agree to disagree for some reason. For some reason, that song never really I tar what you're saying. It was definitely on the radio, probably around that time, but I didn't have that visceral reaction like I did for these songs that we're discussing. For sure.

That's okay because you know why. Because it's your turn. I want, I want you to take us, all right, SNA on a trip that will score us. I promise nothing, But here we go. Welcome to Calculus of Sadness, the newest sensation in Germany's Wundestrassa district.

The bouncer, dressed in plasticcene later host and unhooks the velvet rope and stands aside, allowing you to enter the club. It's dark. Dark is your soul, and yet the smell of beer brought worst and aloofness has never felt so welcoming. You make your way to a small black metal table, walking past people equally interested in maintaining an air of superiority and melancholy bliss. The server glides to your table and asks what is it that brings any of us to this place?

Which you care for? A libation that can never fill that aching in your heart absent? You reply and make it slow. On stage, a dancer named Shasta is patrolling the stage, daring the customers to look into her eyes, look into the face of failure. She shouts to no one in particular, feel something anything.

The sound system is playing some brass umpa music, but you decide a change of mood is critical. You choose song L eighteen on the jukebox, one that has never failed to set the mood. Suddenly the club is filled with the sound of feedback. Lou reads Metal machine music now fills every space in the club with its silvery, howling washer sound. The uncomfortable dichotomy of the music arouses your senses at their most base.

Was this album just a joke by the provocateur? Lou reed as this erotic parade too is a joke. Is it instead a challenge to the listener as Shasta's increasingly angry screeds are meant to be. Gasta gives a quick nod of approval to your song choice. This is just the thing to liven up this dreadful evening, How exquisitely awful you think to yourself as you wait for your absence.

Broh, my god, Rob, you know what? That actually put me up on edge, the whole scenario. And then the fucking music came on and I got not I got not chills. What's the opposite of chills? Knives?

It's say, you know, the prickly sensation in the back of your neck. I mean, is anybody, let me ask this, I guess having said that, is anybody uh in this group a fan of metal machine music? I probably should have asked that or that I am you are? What what now? I I it's I put that in the same category as Frank Zappa.

I want to like Frank Zappa, and I try every few years to get into but I just there's something impenetrable that I can't get through, and metal machine music is the same for me. What is it? What is it? How does it speak to you? I'm genuinely curious, Heather, I I, well, first of all, I'm a huge Red fan.

I am too. I love lou Reed, but this is the one are not the only, but one of the things in this one of the selections in his discography that I just can't get into. It matches the noise inside my head. I don't. Okay, that's fair.

I don't know. I have a big soft spot for like noise music, experimental music, I know. But hey, I also like Temple Woman by Clip Richard. I am every woman. It is all in me.

But but no, I just find it fascinating. I find it a fascinating, compelling piece of music. I love the fact that it also doubles as a way to get people out of your house if you need to. So it's got a lot of It's got a lot of uses. I did get.

I mean, is it something I throw on all the time. No, But I don't know. I mean as somebody who also likes like early Swans and you know, Stockhousend and you know music like that. I you know, I like it. I like it that put out with Oh with the that's like, like, oh, what is it called?

I know what you're talking talk about. Trans trans is a legit good album. I love it is? Yeah, hell yeah, I love that he's talking about. It's an album just of his live yeah, with the weld Weld I think it's called Weld.

Oh my god. I'm looking that up. I have to hear those. Yeah, I think those two pair together, don't damn mental machine musings right? Probably in the time.

Yeah, I love the picture you painted with this HP. I love Shasta and I is that so much like I'm trying to think there's like a performance artos. I'm trying to think of her name that was. She was in that terrible movie Dupatio, but it wasn't terrible because of her. I can't remember her name, but it kind of makes me think of something like that, Like what Shasta's whole routine?

I like it. Yeah, I just wanted to change it up a little bit, like I kind of I wanted to. I mean, because there's a lot of like this place is a jump and these dancers are completely you know, inappropriate for a strip club. I wanted something where these people are actually having a good time. It may not be my cup of tea, but to fall in Malone's point, it may be someone else's cup of tea.

Oh yeah, I'm sure I would be fully erect at that club, right, yes, but ye, well you have to check out the Bundestrasser district. I'm sure they throw in your house like they're going out of style, like more on my nieveshre yell my brotos got take any Okay, Well, I did not have a cute, clever segue from any of this to my pick, so I'm just gonna go right into the substance to the meat of it. That was a segue. Lots of chances before recrat You may have a few, but not nearly as many as our premium slice of beef cake coming at the stage. Over here at Frankie's Foxtrot in the hinter lands of the Pacific Northwest.

Up here we have Nick Tator Todd Steel. This six foot two hank is not only the man of your dreams, but it's also the walking s session of your nightmares. His man shake brings all the boys and girls to the yard. But whenever Alan Parson's projects Eye in the Sky starts playing, the audience goes from turned on to frozen with terror. The minute that iconic and melancholy chorus kicks in, Nick rips off his bottom so then violently bents over the bully displayed his own eye on the sky as he starts screaming non stop the sky had the song finishes this piece of primal scream therapy slash for orbitz Are.

Oddly enough, it's one of our biggest hits, with frightened patrons tentitively stuffing upwards to fifty one hundred dollars bills in his fivering. It's slightly a gape man hole. Whoa wow, thats a picture of it. Yeah, that's girl. I have a lot of issues.

Made me think. There's a diner Portland, Maine. It's like this drag queen hangout diner where they serve tater tots, And for some reason you mentioned tater tots, and then it was yeah, anyway, that's where I was imagining this act happening. Oh my god, I love that. I love that.

I would totally eat tater tots at that place too. Oh yeah, they're delicious, but not not not the tot of art. No, not anything to do with the painting you just painted. That's I find Brandon yelling very funny too, so I had to put that somewhere in here. This kind pairs up well with Shasta a little bit.

Yeah, No, I am the sky. That's a surprising pick. It's I don't know. I mean, I like the song, but it's for I can almost believe somewhere somehow that song is actually being played in a real strip club somehow. I don't know.

I didn't find it as melancholy as you're describing it. I guess it's a sad song. I you look at the lyrics, Well, it's a creepy song because it's about this guy. You know. It's it's like typically like I'll be watching you.

It's that kind of thing. I you know, I'm the eyeing the sky looking at you. I can read your mind. It's creepy. It probably is not, you know, it wouldn't pass muster these days, but yeah, I don't know.

I guess it's you know, and it's kind of an outlier and their catalog because I really I like some of their earlier proggy stuff, but I never thought of it in those firms. It's lyrically, yeah, just musically it's like, yeah, first, you would never want to hear it win any sort of sexual situation. G When I think of that song, you know what I think of I had a friend in grade school who had one of these little cassio keyboards, you know, and it had a little demo key you could press and when you pressed demo, it would play a little tinny cassio MIDI version of Eye in the Sky, Do Do Do Do? I Just for some reason I kept pressing that button and hearing that song. It kind of takes me back to fifth grade or whenever it was that little keyboard Eye in the Sky.

Definitely not ben No, No, not in this context. Yeah. No, I'm actually a fan of Balance Parsons Project, and yeah, their earlier stuff is amazing, but I like this Therah too. I just find it such a It's just such an incredibly sad song. There's something very sad.

It's riddled with despair, which I like artistically. But yeah, if you're trying to get it on or even you know, just a little bit, it doesn't. Yeah, it just as it's also the thought of a man been bending over yelling well, I'll agree with you there. I thought it would be. I thought it'd be funny, that tasteful.

Yes it was, yes, thank you, thank you. Well. Speaking of can I interrupt for a second. I'm as you two are probably far more fans of prog rock than I am, so let me ask a question. Probably, I mean, I'm a fan.

Is there any rock to bang two. Is it a bangable genre or is it artist is to just changing of genre midstream to like actually get it on this. There are a lot of tempo changes. If you listen to a band or anything like that. Emerson, Lake and Palmer is resoundingly unsexy.

Their very unbangable. You might be onto something their father. I'd have to think about it father alone. I think some of it. I think there's some rush tunes.

I could see maybe doing it too, certain Magma, certain pieces by Magma. I could see, you know what, It's not the proggiest song, but I could see a song like Tom Sawyer, which is okay aggressive, So we see that though, you know what I mean, Like that's in an out out line, but in the same way you did, Like I would say it's tone wise, it's probably right up there with the stroke by Billy Squire, that kind of you know which I also probably wouldn't pay too. No, no, there's no sex of the VIP room. There's no sex to the stroke. It wouldn't be a delicate session.

It would be it would be aggressive. By the way. I just speaking of interruptions, I want to interupt for one moment correction. The Neil Young album is not weld. It's arc is the one say, with all the feedback, my mistake, I sorry, I'll proceed.

Are weld metal machines. It's all of a piece. It's all metal. Something that may speak to your point though. Bla is my first This may be t m I, but my first series friend back in the back in my early college days.

He once tried to have set the mood of seduction to Jeff thor Cole, which that alone was an issue. It gets worse, you can start what the it gets worse. It was bungle and jungle j Well, that's all right, that is not that is not a. That is not a is a terrible song anyway. Wait spoiler alert, no sex happened that night, so anybody else anyone, And I blame him, I don't blame YEA deserve deservedly.

So he got what it was coming to him. If you picked that song up, Oh my god, I I can't hear that song even now and just shudder with just embarrassment. It was embarrassing parents. No prog rock. I guess it is bangable, is what we're coming to me?

Well, I think I think there's our small exceptions is that the sexiest genre as a whole. Maybe not so, I think you might be doing something. Yeah, I'll have to revisit this in a later episode we share to be continued. Yeah, I think if you're listening, please comment somewhere send let us know where you follow in the rock bangable debate. And if you think it's bangable, tell us what are your selections?

What prog rock sets the move. We'll put your selections on the Spotify playlist that is for the future. We're living in the present now bottom alone. What is your third and final choice for our strip club from Hell? I'm living on the edge, living on the edge of Houston anyway, the last selections for a coastal town that might conjure quaint cottages and lighthouses, pastoral New England dunes.

This is more Pacific Northwest, shrouded in impenetrable mist, blue collar beat down. There's one industry here, but the industry at tilt doesn't matter. It's the sole supplier of employ and on the edge of that industry, nestled near a stretch of train track that sits in disuse, that's where we'll find the bunny hop Gentleman's Club, a name that promises a mid century dream within hope dies first in a seaport town. The interior is more than dim, though it surely is that lit solely by the citronella candles on the individual tables. It is dank, musty.

The nearby ocean creep would be bad enough, but there's that mist. It coats everything and everyone. It's showtime. In several sets of Halloween, undersea cave spotlights the kind that that one neighbor leaves their house bathed in well within spitting distance of Thanksgiving. I'm talking about myself.

Those watery life shine on a pressed tin ceiling in the tiny stage below, Ripples of blue and green trace silhouetted contours of objects and patrons you'd rather not know in the harsh light of day? Are those the sounds of a guitar disguised as a mandolin's not honeyed voice, here to entice you with tails of nautical naughtiness? Oh yes, and oh no, good. Ship and Drew was a bone to be chewed when the Girls of November gave early. The ship was the bread.

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot sloshes over the room as the rhyming chant of facts and figures of great lakes and greater storms begin to nestle at the base of your brain. Gitchiguomi doesn't so much take the stage as wash upon it. Every inch of her glistens from the rain, the sea, the foam. The choice is yours, but the claus a glossterman olive drab rubber slickers that cover shield and oh yes, obscure her features leave no choice but to keep your libido buoyed by the ever rising tide of mystery. From the top of the wide brimmed cap that hides even a hint of her eyes, to the heavy industrial, nearly floor length slicker that terminates just high enough to give you a glimpse of the filth encrusted boots that poke from beneath the set of unforgiving waiters.

Fellas it ain't too rough to feed you tonight. Your good ship and crew are in peril that the water will be going out. Tell the captive to wire that Kichi Gumi slowly sluffs off. Each of the rubber separates, though beneath thermal woolen underclothes swell double their size with lake water and are darker than the Marianna's trench. And like that inner space hell, they'll never give up their secrets.

Those early gales of November never sounded so good, and a quantic asphyxiation never looked so mouthwatering. That's not the smell of marine life taking the air as Kichigumi struggles to maintain balance